As Your Voice Fades
Note: This was originally conceived on a Tumblr-based RP. I can only claim credit for half the material here. Since it's from my Tumblr, the formatting might be a little strange, but bear with it. I cleaned it up the best I could. The story is beautiful and I just had to share, formatting problems be damned. Feedback appreciated!
Backstory: Dominique Weasley got pregnant at 16, the father unknown. It could have been Rowen Clearwater or Riley Davies, two young men she loved dearly. However, she aborted the baby because she knew she could never give him the life he deserved, (She named him Renè) and in a fit of depression took absurd amounts of painkillers in order to escape her emotional troubles. In her stupor, she was kidnapped by Death Eaters. Rowen rescued her, but at the cost of his own life. This is Dom's life, 12 years later.
Dominique was supposed to return to Shell Cottage after Peru. She'd written a handful of letters, and even promised her mother. However, Dominique had no intention on actually going back when the horrifying thought struck her that it was nearly Rowen's deathday. She'd spent the greater part of 12 years alone, and barely had any sex at all. She'd been filling this void with her work, trying to keep busy to keep her mind off of it. After many failed dates and boyfriends, Dominique was nearing her wit's end. She was 28, and she still missed Rowen like crazy. She only missed him more as the days passed. Roxie helped her stay out of the pits of depression, but this time was different. Dominique knew this time that there was no going back. She needed to do something about it this time. Without thinking for another moment, she gathered her duffel bag and got in a car to head to her next job in Hungary.
Rowen stood by her in her little apartment, watching her with curiosity. She was running around from room to room, gathering her things for the next assignment for work. Though something was different, something was off. He couldn't put his finger on it but she seemed more … relaxed about something. Maybe she was finally moving on? No, she … Rowen knew better after watching her for the past twelve years. Yes, something was up and he feared what it might be.
As he watched her finish up her packing, he kept close to her as if staring into her eyes would leak out her inner secrets. He sighed though it made no sound, he couldn't be heard even if he tried. Of which he did millions of times, trying to whisper in Dominique's ear or touch her hand,nothing worked. He accepted that though… did he?
Dominique grabbed her packed bags and walked out the door in a hurry. He glanced up at the clock. Ah, the plane leaves soon. He followed her out the door and into her muggle vehicle of which he so often wished he could make fun of her for.
Dominique bristled a little when one of her coworkers accosted her. Everyone knew she'd planned on going home, but she brushed them off. She made up silly little lies so they wouldn't ask her any more questions. She boarded the plane with her coworkers, locating her first-class seat. First class was almost empty, and she had a row to herself. Dominique hated planes. She much preferred a good broom, but things were changing in the world and planes were faster than brooms.
She still had far too much time on her hands to be alone with her thoughts. She remembered the day she was kidnapped, and how she was so strung out on pills, they took her without a fight. She was ashamed. If she hadn't done that- tears pricked at her eyes. She resolved herself. It was her fault he was gone. It was her own fault she was unhappy. Dominique slumped down in the oversized seat a bit and scribbled some things in a notebook. They were goodbye letters. She wasn't sure if she would send them, or let them be incinerated with her body. Maybe it was better if they thought it was an accident, and let her leave the world with dignity. As she finished the last letter, the plane touched down, and she began to move to her (extremely) temporary living space.
Rowen sat down next to her on the plane, looking down at what she was writing. Goodbye letters? Was she going somewhere? … No. His eyes widen and his jaw dropped. S-she couldn't be, right? Not after all this time.. Rowen kicked the backseat of the guy in front of him but it did nothing. He stood up and looked down at her furiously; there was nothing he could do about it either.
He tried pushing her letters and flicking her forehead but nothing worked. Not that he expected it to anyways. He was running out of ideas, heck, he didn't have anything. Rowen slumped back into his seat, glancing over at his beautiful twenty-eight year old Dominique. He wondered what made her decide to do this. Why now? She had a steady job, great friendships… sure her romantic life was lacking but she was almost there to moving on. Rowen sighed and lightly touched her cheek, wishing he could have been with Dominique, the way she wanted him to be, all those years after Hogwarts.
Following her to her new living quarters, he watched her throw her bags on the bed. She didn't even bother unpacking; honestly Rowen wondered why she bothered to pack in the first place. He sat down at the edge of the bed, watching Dominique roam around the apartment in sort of a rush.
Dominique agitatedly paced, waiting for her coworkers to unpack their things and hit the road for the mountains. After what seemed like hours of verbally agonizing in soft French mumblings, there was a soft knock on her door. She flung it open and barreled out past the three men, not bothering to lock the door behind her. She was thankful that everyone just assumed she was simply eccentric because she was a Weasley. They asked her no questions whatsoever. She frowned half the way to the mountains while her companions laughed, joked, and traded work stories. She wanted so much to change that last name, she thought of nothing else as they bumped along towards their destination.
Upon finally arriving at the job site, Dominique ignored all protocol and whipped out her wand immediately. Her coworkers followed her eager lead and advanced towards the writhing Horntail as well, but she angled herself just right. She stepped cautiously towards the gigantic creature, staring up at it's large face. She didn't want to alarm anyone to her plan, her family would be too embarrassed if the whole world knew Dominique was a depressed, lonely, aging woman. She stepped around again, until the dragon's head was straight in front of her.
Rowen stood next to her, watching her angling herself in front of the dragon. He screamed, "Dominique! No, please, don't do this! Please! This is ridiculous! I love you! DON'T DO THIS! Please, Dommi!" None of that helped as she moved around the dragon, standing directly in front of it. "Oh God, please Dominique! Don't do this!"
He stood front of Dom, pleading his heart out but none of it was any good; he was inaudible. He held her cheeks in his hands, trying to make her look at him, feeling something rolling down his face. It didn't matter what it was, all that mattered was her. "Dominique Weasley, please hear this! God! Don't do this. This is no way to die. You deserve to live, fall in love and grow old, watching your children age. This… this isn't the answer. Please, Dominique." He gently caressed her cheeks, whispering, "I love you, please.."
Dominique moved around the dragon again, leaving Rowen standing there, closing his eyes. He glanced back up at the sky, yelling, "Don't you fucking let her die! You hear me? DON'T YOU DARE!"
He gritted his teeth as no reply came his way and he focused his attention back at Dominique, who was now walking up closer to the dragon. Her co-workers were now yelling at her to get away but Dominique didn't care. Stubborn woman. Rowen walked back over to her, whispering in her ear, "Please … don't do this."
Dominique was far closer to the dragon than she was supposed to be. Her coworkers didn't notice at first, and by the time they did, the dragon was already reared back to strike. In a normal situation, she should have used a protective charm or evaded. But this wasn't normal. A single tear dripped down her cheek and her lips twitched slightly. She was mad. Absolutely mad. If they saw her almost smiling… but in another second, the dragon struck.
Hard scales collided with the side of Dominique's body, and she was gored by small horns on the dragon's skin. She flew high into the air on impact, and landed on her back in the underbrush far away. Blood poured in gushes from her wounds, and her vision was already blurring. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her vision, making sure nobody would save her. One of the men was rushing over to her, but he was moving in slow motion, it seemed.
Then, something caught her eye. Almost too hard to see, but she saw him. Rowen. She knew it was him, it had to be. Dominique's heart fluttered. She began to cry softly, and reached a hand weakly in his direction. "Please…?" She coughed. He didn't move from his spot, only stood there looking at her from afar.
Rowen screamed as the dragon's tail hit Dominique, sending her off into the air. As her body collided with the ground, he knew she wasn't going to survive this. He watched her co-workers rush over to her but it was too late. Rowen bit his lip as he stepped further away from her, hoping he wasn't to be seen. He didn't want her to stay trapped in between worlds with him; he wanted her to go to Heaven and take care of Rene. Even though this wasn't what he wanted in the first place.
He was stupid enough to turn back around and heard her desperate plead. He stopped dead, hoping and praying to God it wasn't for him, that she was still alive and … Rowen walked a few steps closer to her, accepting that he had been caught. He leaned down next to her laying body whispering, "Dominique…you're beautiful." He gently pushed back a strand of her hair as he felt a familiar warmth on his back. He looked up to see what he expected; Heaven's light peering down on her. Rowen softly smiled and whispered, "They're calling you, go to them." He stood up and helped her up as well before pointing up, "That is Heaven's pearly gates and I believe you have an exclusive invite."
Rowen gave her his best smile before turning around, muttering, "Don't, just go Dominique. I'll be up there soon." Lies, all lies but she needed to be there. This was no way for her to spend eternity.
Dominique shut her eyes tight. He was trying to tell her something. He was displeased with her. She didn't care. Her whole body felt like it was collapsing in on itself, and she could feel that the pool of blood around her probably contained more blood than she had left in her body. Her eyes fluttered open again, and he was kneeling above her, encouraging her towards the light, though she couldn't hear what he was saying.
She was confused. She shook her head as much as she could and reached up to touch him. Her hand passed straight through where his cheek would have been, and she cried a bit. Finally, she compelled herself to sit up. She rose with his help, and her body felt… light. She felt good, actually. Then when she turned to survey herself, she saw it. Her body was lying there beneath her with her three coworkers trying fruitlessly to revive it. After a few moments of that, they conceded defeat and began somberly healing her wounds to send her body back home.
Dominique turned towards the light. It invited her, it was warm. But now Rowen was in front of her. Her Rowen. She cried out an unintelligible sound and rushed at him. Her incorporeal arms wrapped around his neck, but didn't float through him like before. She smiled widely, truly happy for the first time in 12 years and turned completely away from the light. Something told her this decision was important and that she should weigh the options heavily, but she didn't hesitate. She looked up at her love and said, "Don't ever scare me like that again."
Rowen quickly picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. He smirked at her, not seeing twenty-eight year old Dominique but his rather young sixteen year old Goddess. He whispered, "Scare you? When have I scared you? Go back to your pearly gates, Goddess. They're all waiting for you." Though he made no effort of letting her go, instead he tightened his hold on her.
Resting his forehead against hers, he murmured, "I love you so much, Dominique… I've been watching you this whole time." He grinned and kissed her nose gently, reveling in the fact that he could touch her again. That he could talk to her again. That she could see him again. God, he had missed her so much.
"You shouldn't have done that, " he muttered as he pushed back a strand of her hair. "What is your family going to think of this? Your friends? I was trying to get you to stop but you're too stubborn to listen to me." He chuckled quietly and pressed his lips to her forehead. God, did it feel good to have her back in my arms.
"No!" She said quickly, holding onto his neck with a vice-grip. Not that it mattered. She could squeeze as hard as she wanted, they simply just were now. He looked the same as he always had, and she was surprised to notice she'd regressed back to that time as well. She didn't care. She could be old or a baby and still want to be with him. "I don't want to go there without you. If this is where you are, I'm staying," she pouted.
Dominique held on, feeling him touching her for the first time in 12 years. It was surreal. "I don't care what they'll think. I'll miss them and I feel awful for doing this to them, but it's you I want, and it's you I need." She lifted her chin and kissed him. It felt almost like they were melting together, as one. "I wish you could have communicated with me…. It was so difficult without you. But I guess you know that. I hope you know that." She frowned.
"You should know by now that I don't do as I'm told," she nodded at the car in which her Earthly body had been loaded into. "Especially when I'm going after what I want." Dominique trailed her fingers all over his cheeks, chin, eyes, lips, and nose, reabsorbing everything she'd once known, assessing what she hoped she could have for all time. "I missed you too much. You're my one and only, and you left me. I had to follow you."
As her lips collided with his, he felt his heart flutter and he smirked into the kiss. As their lips parted, Rowen whispered, "I know…. I'm so sorry for that. I wish I was there with you." He gently stroked her cheek, weakly smiling, "I hated watching you go through all that pain… made me wish I convinced you to go back with Riley before we got together." Sighing quietly, his fingers traced over her lips, "You're as beautiful as the last time I touched you. My sweet sixteen year old Goddess."
Rowen smirked as he unwrapped her legs around him, making her stand. In a matter of seconds, he grabbed onto her as he fell down to the ground, Dominique on top of him. He growled and soon found himself on top of her, gently pushing back a strand of her hair. "You had to follow me, huh," he whispered with a playful smile on his face. "You know if that was true you wouldn't have waited twelve years to do so, young lady." He tapped her nose with a finger before placing kisses all over her face.
She giggled and tried to push him away but Rowen wasn't going to stop. He chuckled lightly, "You might be a stubborn girl but I'm a stubborn man. Let's see how far that gets you."
"You shouldn't have come to save me, Rowen. I would have been fine on my own. We could have had the most incredible life together, mon cher… The things we could have done, the children we could have had…" Dominique ran her hands through his hair. "I'm not sure why I am this way now. Not that I mind," she patted herself, indicating her slimmer, softer body, unhardened, unlike the previous one that was weathered and beaten by years of working outdoors with dragons.
"Not fair!" She cried as she fell over on top of him. "You said you wanted me to grow old and die, now which is it? Did you want me to die old or follow you young? Because I tried. I tried to make you proud, but I just couldn't be happy without you." She laughed as he kissed her all over, relishing the familiar feeling. Somehow she ended up below him, and reached up to put both her hands on his face, holding him away from her. "Oh? What are you going to do, my love? You're stuck with me forever." Dominique couldn't help grinning a wide, stupid grin.
Rowen frowned slightly, "I was joking, Dom, I never wanted you to follow me. I always wanted you to live a full life and move on." He gently kissed her nose, whispering, "I'm so proud that you tried. You have no idea how proud I am of you." His lips made its way to her lips and lightly touched them. "Don't say that…you could have been happy without me."
He grinned and rolled them again, Dominique back on top. "Stuck with you forever, huh? I guess I can manage that." Rowen pulled her down and kissed her passionately, feeling goosebumps on his arms. As he slightly pulled back, he rested his lips against hers, "I wanted you to forget about me and be happy so bad… I'm sorry I did this to you." He bit his lip as he rolled off of her, glancing up at the sky. After a few moments, he whispered, "Love is a silly thing, isn't it?"
Glancing over at her, he smiled. Rowen missed her so much and he wanted to tell her anything and everything. Every thought his brain wheeled out, every word he said to her, every tender touch he gave, etc. He wanted to tell her everything now but instead he just took her in with a smile on his face. He thought about what she said earlier and couldn't help but smirk, "Yeah, you could have handled it. Not." He laughed lightly but as he saw her facial expression he sighed. Rolling back on top of her, he kissed her forehead, "Please, love, don't fret over it. The past is already said and done. And as for our lives, that's over as well. I'm just happy to be with you right now."
"No. You were tearing me apart because I couldn't forget you. I was miserable without you." Dominique said sternly, pulling at his hair a little. "What part of one and only don't you understand?" She smirked into his kiss, breathing him in with her new, though useless, lungs. There was a lot she'd need to learn about this new "life" of hers. She had so many questions, but she was too preoccupied with just being near him to ask anything.
She slid a hand down to his chest and whispered, "It's not silly. How dare you, after the great lengths I went to for you." She touched her hands to his temples and let her memories flow into him. She knew he likely already saw much of them if he truly did follow her around in the final years of her life, but she let the feelings she held during those times flow through him as well. Lonely days and nights, the times she never left her bed on his death-day, and of course, all the failed relationships. "All that matters is us, and that after everything that happened, we can finally just be happy for once." Dominique pulled him closer and kissed where a heart would have been if he were alive.
Rowen gently pushed her hands away with a sad expression on his face. He murmured, "I know… You forget I've watched you go through all of that." He caressed her cheeks and continued whispering, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry." His ghostly tears dropped down on her face and he wiped them off of her. As he felt her lips on his chest, he murmured, "Well, I guess it all depends on if you can forgive me." He stared deep into her eyes when she pulled back, trying to find some sort of forgiveness hidden there. Holding her hand with his, his thumb massaged the top of hers, waiting for some type of reply.
Rowen pressed on, clearing his throat, "I stayed here on earth to watch over you. After a year or so, I visited others but you were my main haunt." He smirked slightly and rolled off of her. "That's the reason why I'm stuck here, I choose to watch over you."
"I just wanted you to be certain that I wasn't going to forget you." Dominique frowned, laying her hands down. She thought for a moment, then said, "It would be a sad and lonely forever if I didn't. I didn't come here to yell at you. I came here to be with you. I don't blame you at all. I don't blame anyone but myself." She shrugged, playing with his fingers, then clapped her hands together. "So, that's that."
When he rolled away, she made a small whine, and grabbed his hand in hers again. "Does that mean you watched… things… happen?" Dominique asked, growing suddenly embarrassed. She quickly barreled through to the next thing he mentioned, "I didn't want you to be stuck though. You could have passed on, and been happy. I would have found you… eventually." She waved a hand in the air, indicating the vague time frame.
Looking over at Dom, he smiled, "Yes, unfortunately you're stuck with me for all of eternity." He gave her hand a light squeeze before rolling back on top of her, "You should never blame yourself for what happened, there's no point to. " His lips brushed over hers for a moment, kissing her softly. He whispered, "I love you. I would never change my last moments on earth if that meant you were dead instead of me. I was always meant to look out for you anyways."
Rowen glanced down at Dominique, thinking about what she said earlier and raised an eyebrow with a smirk on his face, "Yes, I watched things…" He rolled back on top of her, "What are you embarrassed about?"
"Mon ange…" she said with tears in her eyes. Dominique placed her hands on either side of his face and kissed him deeply. "There are so many different things that might have happened, I could speculate for days, but this one is fine with me."
Dominique pushed him over, and rolled on top of him, gaining the power. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you? You haven't changed!" she sighed, exasperated. "Did you watch me have intercourse with those other men? Over the years after you died?" She peered down at him, slightly curious, slightly embarrassed, and slightly horrified.
Rowen smirked, "Intercourse? My, what a word." He chuckled softly before looking back up into her eyes, "Well… the first time I didn't expect you to… " Now he was the one who was embarrassed. He bit his bottom lip, muttering, "I watched the first and stayed away from the rest. The first time hurt too much to even watch more… plus it just made me feel like a peeping tom." He smirked a bit and he reached up and kissed her nose. "I expected you to move on so don't feel embarrassed about it."
"Well I certainly can't make love to anyone except you!" She said, a little flustered. "I'm sorry it hurt you. If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking of you the whole time…Every time. Though there were only a few… And they were all awful…" Dominique bit her bottom lip to stop herself from babbling and leaned her forehead against his. "If you want I can make it up to? Or maybe I can't." She looked down at herself, then looked him up and down. "I don't know how all this works yet. Any tips?"
He gently pushed a strand of hair back from her face as he whispered, "You don't have to make anything up to me but I wouldn't mind it." He bit his bottom lip and looked up at her, "Oh? Do you think I slept around with other ghosts?" He chuckled softly and whispered in her ear, "I never ever cheated on you, Dom. So, naturally I wouldn't know how things work but… I think it works the same as it did when we were alive." Rowen nibbled her ear as his fingers traveled up her sides, moving back and forth, caressing her sides.
Rowen kissed her ear before he whispered, "I guess the only tip I could offer you is that you have to want to do it too."
Dominique put an arm around him as cold chills rushed down her back when he nibbled on her ear. "I didn't say that you did! Not that I would mind if you did... Twelve years is a long time to wait for someone. And you probably hoped you'd wait much longer." She wrapped both arms around him now, tightening her grip on him and wriggling closer. "What kind of ridiculous question is that? I want you, and I want all of you if I can have it." Dominique said airily, feeling tingly all over from his kisses.
He smirked against her skin, "Yes, I expected to wait for you much longer… Of course I never expected to be with you when you died; I always thought you would do the smart thing and move on." Rowen kissed her neck and lightly dragged his teeth down on her neck. After a moment of grazing his teeth on her skin, he muttered, "I'm glad you want me." He gently kissed her neck before moving his lips over to hers, whispering, "I love you."
"I'm glad you were there… I didn't have to die alone, like I intended." Dominique smiled warmly. "It meant a lot to me. I was there for you, and you were there for me. But you should know by now I'm definitely too stubborn to do something like move on, that's absurd." She rolled over on top of him, letting her long blonde hair fall down between them. "I love you more than anything, Rowen Clearwater. I hope you know that." Dominique bent down to kiss him sweetly on the lips.