"…"
"Arthur Kirkland."
"I'm sorry?"
The sandy-blond knitted his caterpillar-like eyebrows in annoyance. Dr. Glass tried not to stare at them, to no avail. "My name. It's Arthur Kirkland. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. You should know that by now."
"…ah. Yes. Well. Mr. Kirkland, I assume you know the reason why you're here?"
"You know damn well I do. This place has been giving me headaches for fucking decades now." Arthur snorted and crossed his legs disdainfully. "Why do you people keep choosing the most inconvenient times to hold these meetings? For goodness sake, we still have international relations to worry about!"
"I'm sorry, sir, but these kinds of things hold the world intact. I apologize for whatever inconvenience we have caused, but we simply cannot skip protocol. It's just too big of a risk."
After a moment, Arthur sighed. "Fine," he said, and then added in a whisper loud enough for Dr. Glass to hear, "at least it's not Clef, Bright, or Kondraki."
"Clef is with Russia, Bright is with America, and Kondraki is out dealing with SCP – 682."
"Hm. That should be hilarious."
"Indeed." He cleared his throat. "Now…"
"SCP – 9999, a group of humanoid nation personifications that are directly tied to the landmass, political system, and people of its designated country. Yes, our heads-of-state know. No, civilians don't. Yes, there are exemptions. My psychological background is the same: grew up metaphorically fucked by my older brothers Scotland, Wales, and Ireland; took care of the United States of America until the bastard broke my heart and led me to an extreme state of male PMS which continues to persist to this day albeit in a less violent manner. Participated in countless wars. Got burned at the stake, shot at the heart, head, and several parts of the body more times that I care to count. Now lives in an expensive London flat but has houses everywhere in the UK where I am free to reside whenever I like sans when I am called by my government. Yes, I am bisexual. No, this does not reflect the general outlook of my citizens. Yes, I have my own personality that is sometimes affected by current events and international relations, but I like to assume that it is the other way around. Yes, I am in a relationship with the United States. Yes, we go to bed and have sex. No, we do not do it as 'England' and 'America'; we do it as 'Arthur' and 'Alfred.'"
"I was just going to ask how many sugar cubes you'd like in your tea, but…"
"Ah, well then. Only one please, doctor."
The chinking of the teaspoon against the cup's ceramic sides soothed both their minds.
"I have to say, you make a fine cup of tea."
"Thank you." He took a sip.