A/N: So this is my first attempt at something sort of angsty, hopefully it will come out well.

Disclaimer: I sadly don't own glee. Nor do I own tickets to glee live. =(

*flashback are in italics*

Rachel was looking out of her window at the small park over the road. It may not have been central park, or even Manhattan, but she loved her 1 bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. Watching the faces of the small children playing, a sad smile came across her face. Despite having nearly all she dreamed of, the lead in a hit Broadway show and two Tony awards, there was something missing. Or someone. Her fiancé, Noah Puckerman.

Despite the hatred and drama that was high school, they bumped into each other in her college dorm on Christmas Eve, in what was her final year at NYU. She was returning from a late-night study session and he was helping her roommate's boyfriend drag her drunk-ass back from the bar down the block where he was working as a barman.

Rachel was walking down the hall to her dorm room, having stayed up half the night studying. The library was quiet at this time of year seeing as most of the students had gone home for the Christmas holidays. Being Jewish, she had gone home to Lima for Hanukkah, but had swiftly returned to New York so she could catch up on work and her various arts classes. As she reached her door, she found it wide open, her room-mate being helped onto the small couch, flanked on either side by two guys. Rachel recognised one as being her boyfriend, but the other was a stranger to her and although they had their back to her, she couldn't help feel a sense of familiarity come over her as his presence. It wasn't until the mysterious stranger turned round she realised why she felt it, "Noah? Noah Puckerman?" she said to herself in confusion. Last she heard, he was still back in Ohio working in Burt's auto shop. It took him a few moments to recognise who had called his name, but when he did he just smiled and said "well whadaya know, if it isn't Rachel Berry. Should have figured I'd bump into you at some point".

A tentative friendship built up, slowly turning into love and romance. It was a year after they had reconnected and 6 months after they had began dating that he dropped a bombshell that changed everything for them. He was joining the army. Despite her initial reluctance, Rachel soon realised that this was what he really wanted to do and supported his decision, making him promise her that when he got deployed, he would return to her safe from wherever he had been sent.

They were curled up on Pucks bed, exhausted from the long conversation they had about his decision to join up. Although Rachel had somewhat come to terms with his decision, she was still scared about what this meant for them. "What if you get hurt Noah? Or worse killed? I don't think I could deal with losing you like that." she mumbled as she buried her head in her chest to hide the small tears that were threatening to fall. Puck pushed her away lightly so that he could face her and look into her eyes. "I promise you Rach that I will always come back to you, exactly like I am now, not in a box, and not with parts of me missing. And you know why? 'Cause you're the one that stops me from doing stupid stuff. I love you so much; you're that deep in my heart that I will always have you with me, guiding me back to you. You're everything to me Rachel, your it, the one." He sighed and turned to find something in his bedside drawer before continuing, "I didn't wasn't to do it this way, but there's no such thing as a 'perfect moment'. I love you Rachel and I will always love you. I never want to have to let you go, I don't want YOU to ever have to let me go. "He showed her the ring he had got from his drawer, one that had been hidden there since the day she agreed to go out with him. "This isn't a marriage proposal, although I know there will be one at some point, but it is a promise. A promise that I will always love you, that no matter where I am in the world I will come back to you. Always, no matter what." Rachel couldn't help but cry at his sincere words. She watched as he took the ring he had in his hand and gently slipping it onto her left hand, kissing her softly while his arms embraced her tightly, sealing their love for each other.

Although deeply committed to their Jewish heritage, after spending Hanukkah in Lima with their families, they spent a proper New York Christmas together, making it something special just for them. Being only an understudy, she could afford to take more time off to spend with him and they did all the things you see in classic movies, decorating their tree in their tiny new apartment they had got together, skating at the Rockefeller plaza and spending a cold new years eve amongst the crowds in times square. It seemed almost idyllic and their bubble didn't burst until late January when Puck received the call they had both been dreading. It was time for him to ship out to Afghanistan.

Rachel openly cried when they had to say goodbye at the airport on, in a cruel twist of fate, happened to be Valentine's Day, and Puck would have been lying if he said he didn't feel a tear or two coming from his own eyes. They whispered promises of love and of waiting to each other, "I'll be home by Christmas baby, just wait and see" he smirked down at her. Rachel couldn't help but cry, burying her head further into his chest, not wanting to let go until the last possible moment, but all too quickly he had to go, he only had half an hour to get to his plane. With a final 'be safe. Come back to me", Rachel saw the man she loved walk away, part of her unsure if she would ever see him again.

The months passed and aside from a few brief phone calls and many letters, Rachel missed Puck every day, there was emptiness within her. Slowly the letters trickled off and one month passed, followed by two, then three. She didn't want to think the worst but one cold October day brought the thing she had been dreading most. If she thought being told Puck had succumbed to an enemy bullet was the worst thing in the world, being told that he had been MIA for the past month knocked her sideways. She couldn't process it. At least if he had died, she would at least know where he was, but the idea of not knowing killed her. She couldn't even bring herself to hope that he was alive out there somewhere. Even the idea that he had deserted the army to go off with another woman would have given her more comfort that just being told they didn't know. Apparently there was a commotion of sorts and when the fighting stopped Puck was nowhere to be found, and no body had been recovered.

Rachel spent the next few weeks in a numb daze, unable to focus on much aside from her nightly stage performances. Eventually her director told her to take time off and come back in the New Year. For most people it would give them time to face up to reality and try and process the events of the past couple of months, but for Rachel, it was like placing her back into her own personal hell. Christmas was fast approaching and she couldn't help but think back to the previous year, the hope and joy she had felt at being with someone she had loved for many years. Yet now she felt nothing but hollow, how was she supposed to get through the 'season of good cheer' when all she wanted to do was scream, shout and cry?

Somehow the days rushed by and soon it was Christmas Eve. After spending a while watching the kids in the snow, she decided to just spend the day on the sofa watching her favourite Christmas specials and sappy movies. As much as she wanted to put him out of her mind, just for one day so she didn't have to cry, there was only one thing that kept going round in her mind, "I'll be home for Christmas. Just wait and see". It was if she was being haunted by his words, "just wait and see". Rachel didn't know if she could take much more, it seemed like wherever she went in the apartment he was behind her, whispering his words into her ear. Finally she snapped, "I'm waiting Noah!" she screamed into the emptiness, "I'm waiting, I've been waiting for months but I'm not seeing! NOAH! Where are you? Why aren't you here? I can't stop waiting but why aren't you here?" Breaking down into sobs, she collapsed onto the sofa, screaming animalistic cry into the cushions, the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Rachel didn't know how long she had been laid there, at some point she must have drifted off as she was awakened by the sound of someone knocking on the apartment door. The clock on the end table said it was 11:50 and Rachel became nervous as to who would be on the other side of the door at this hour on a regular day, let alone on Christmas Eve. She pulled herself up while muttering about 'inconsiderate neaderthals' as she made her way to the door. Flinging it open, about to give whoever was on the other side a piece of her mind, she froze in shock. "Noah?" she whispered, thinking she must be dreaming, there was no way he could have been standing there in the doorway. She inched further towards him, his frame illuminated by the soft glow from the lone bulb in the hallway, seeing that despite how haggard he looked and how his features were slightly sunken as a result of god knows what, it was in fact Noah. Her Noah.

He was nervous as he stood outside the apartment door, one he had not seen for nearly a year, that at one point he thought he would never see again and by extension, the girl he hoped was behind it. He knew of course that she hadn't moved, the box by the intercom on the buildings door still read 'N Puckerman & R Berry', and he knew in his heart she still loved and missed him, the phone call to his mother was enough proof of that, but he was still scared of what he would find, he didn't want to face the broken shell he had been told she'd become in his absence.

If anyone thought Puck had a tough time being captured by insurgents, it was nothing compared to how he felt about being apart from Rachel. He could only imagine what she was going through. Although not his next of kin, he made it clear that if anything happened, she was to be told if anything happened to him. He didn't know how she was doing, what she was thinking, if she had been told he was dead or alive. Those 6 months in captivity were torture for him, the only way he got through the endless beatings and interrogations was by looking at the small, creased picture he had of the two of them that had been safely concealed in his uniform. Her wide smile was always enough to brighten his day in any normal situation, now it was his only tangible link to the world, his reason to fight to get home. Eventually, he found a means of escape and along with a couple of other guys he made a break for it, not stopping until he finally made it back to civilisation. In his stubborn rush to get back home, to get to her, the only people who knew of his self imposed release were his superiors and his mother, swearing her to secrecy. Call it cowardice, but he didn't want to entertain the thought that she might possibly not want to see him, that by giving her warning would give her chance to avoid him.

And now here he was, 2 inches of wood separating him from the person who meant most to him in the entire world.

Raising his hand he gently knocked the door, sure he could of used his key like he did to get into the building, but the fear of what might await him made all sensible thought leave his mind. There was no answer so he tried again, this time with a bit more vigour. Still getting no reply, Puck was about to admit defeat and prepare himself for a night in the hallway, figuring she had gone to some Christmas eve party, when he heard signs of life from within the apartment. He couldn't help but smile at her mumblings, realizing that the Rachel he knew and loved was still there when all of a sudden the door flung open. The look of shock on her face was priceless, and in any other situation he would have definitely taken a picture but now was not the time. He dropped his bag in the doorway, moving towards her and embracing her in his arms. Gazing across the dark apartment he saw the glow of the clock, turning the woman in his arms towards it just as it turned 00:01. "Told you I'd be home for Christmas baby." He whispered, before throwing almost a year's separation into a long passionate kiss.

I hope you enjoyed this, as i said, this is my first real attempt in years to write anything with a bit of drama in it. I dont know much details about the military, especially the US army so in some parts i have taken 'creative lisence'. Sadly, not all of our loved ones will be home for the holidays this year, but as long as they are in our thoughts, they will never truely be gone.

Happy holidays everyone =)