Death’s Little Bird

by Jazlynn

Have you ever wondered how one little thing can affect your life? How one small creature may affect the course of everything surrounding you? One man finds out. Story of Marluxia before he lost his heart. -Oneshot.

Hey guys! I was inspired to write this recently by… I don't even know, but I thought it was a good idea. Anyways, it's pre-Marluxia which means that there will be little to no Kingdom Hearts references. It's basically the events in his life that made his heart dark, etc. In fact, it will probably seem like an AU fic. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, however, I do own pretty much all of the characters in this story. So really, I own this entire story except half of Liam. We good here? Yeah? Okay.

Death's Little Bird
Written by: Jazlynn

I've never believed that fate or destiny has ever dictated my life. I've known for a long time that my life is something that I've molded as I've grown. There are people that have come and gone and have left their mark on me. I've had family, friends, and lovers all leave some sort of impression on me. This is usually the norm for any regular person. I've always thought that humans were the only beings able to leave an impression on other humans. With this belief molded into my mind, I found myself quite shocked when another being made one of the greatest impressions on me yet. And what was it that was so shocking about this being? Well, that being was a fragile little bird.

I remember the day when I first came across her. It was early May and the days were getting longer and warmer. These were the days I treasured. I loved this time of year more than any other. Life was beginning to blossom all over the little town I lived in. Children were out playing in the streets, everyone was smiling, and everything just seemed so much more colourful.

The sun was shining bright that day. Its warm beams of yellow light illuminated the colourful garden in the backyard of my cottage home. I took such pride in that garden. I had a whole array of flowers that ranged from roses to azaleas to even forget-me-nots. I took great care of all of my flowers. I made them all beautiful and healthy.

There were those in my town who questioned my antics. They would always ask me why I cared more for my flowers rather than I did for any of the young girls in town. They all thought it was strange that a twenty year old man like me hadn't found a suitable maiden to wed and that I took no interest in any of the women that were around. The truth was, when I was younger, I had already decided on the traits that I wanted my future wife to have. I wanted her to be beautiful. I wanted her to be a woman that everyone marveled at and wondered how an angel like her had come to live on the earth. But it wasn't only that which I wanted. I also wanted her to be intelligent and faithful. I wanted her to be someone I could easily talk to. All the women in town were certainly beautiful, but they didn't possess any of the other qualities I was searching for. This was why I preferred the company of my garden.

My garden was the closest thing I had to my vision of a wife. It was beautiful and it would never leave me for another. I could take care of my garden just like I would to my future wife when she came along. My garden possessed so many qualities that I wanted for my wife and I could not deny it. This was why I was outside everyday within the confines of flower walls.

Everyday I would walk along the gravel paths through my flowers, looking to see which ones might be in need of water or to marvel that the flowers that were at their best. Then, I would often retreat to the furthest corner of my garden where there was a bench overlooking a small fountain, shaded by the branches of a cherry tree. I would sit on the bench and listen to the running water as I breathed in the wonderful floral scent around me.

Today was different though. My silent sanctuary was interrupted by the sound of a song. It was a song where clear notes were randomly sung all over the place, strangely creating a consonant melody. I searched for the source of the pleasant sound and found myself gazing into the branches of the cherry tree. I felt awed and humbled by what I saw. A little robin had made her nest in the cherry tree and she was singing a song of such joy that I could not help but smile.

I wondered why the little robin seemed so happy. I had never seen such joy displayed in my life—not even by a human. I found myself marveling at this little bird just as I marveled at my flowers. She had made herself an addition to the beauty that was my garden. She seemed to fit and I couldn't help but find that her presence gave everything in my garden more life. With each note cascading from her tiny body, everything around me seemed to glow. It was like magic.

The little robin stayed in my garden for a long time. She was always there when I came to see my garden and tend to the blossoms. Everyday, I found myself stopping to marvel at her beauty and listen to the songs she had to sing. It became another one of my routines and I treasured every moment of it.

I felt such comfort with this little bird around. I wanted her to stay with me forever. Occasionally, the thought of taking the little robin and putting her in a cage flashed across my mind. However, despite the fact that I would have my little bird forever, I knew that she would be heartbroken to have everything she had now taken away. I could never ever put her into a cage. Besides, she was with me for now and I shouldn't have to worry.

Despite the fact that I knew my robin would one day leave, I felt absolutely torn when I discovered one day that she wasn't in her nest. I had never felt such loneliness and despair in my life. I waited for a long time for my robin to return. I sat on the bench and found myself lost within the empty silence that enveloped me. Then, when I felt as if all was lost, I heard the sweet cascade of notes coming from my little bird. She was back, sitting in her nest as if nothing had happened.

I felt my heart soar in that moment and I felt like I could fly alongside her through the vast sky. My robin was back. That was all that mattered to me. Of course, I shouldn't have expected her to stay in her nest all the time. It would be so silly to assume such a thing. After all, she needed to eat, didn't she? Of course she did. I shouldn't worry when she left her nest.

Over the next few weeks, I began to worry about something else. My robin wasn't leaving her nest enough. She just stayed there, her voice silenced and replaced with a peaceful gaze. I worried that she hadn't been getting enough to eat. I worried enough that I went out and bought a bird feeder and seeds. I was quick to get the object in the tree so that my little bird could get food whenever she desired.

At first, she seemed wary about the feeder and suspiciously glanced at it as well as me (something that wasn't usual for my robin) but, eventually, she became brave and decided to explore the feeder. After her first encounter with the feeder, she became her old self once again and was happy. She even began to acknowledge me whenever I came to visit her by singing a few beautiful notes.

Once it was established that she knew exactly who I was, I began to speak with my little robin. I would tell her of all my dreams and aspirations and I would speak to her about my garden and spoke of what the flowers might say if they could talk. I knew that my conversation would seem crazy to any outsider whoever saw me but, I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed of what I was doing. Not one little bit. I liked talking to my robin and she liked to talk to me. She would often respond to what I had to say with songs that portrayed the most beautiful of emotions.

This became the norm. I would come and talk to her, tend to my garden, and just sit and listen to her sing little melodies she composed for me. I felt so content living this life, so content to have this bird's company, that the thought of having a wife became something of the past. It was something that I no longer felt necessary. I had everything I wanted right here. Everything was just perfect.

And that was when everything began to fall apart.

Annie Foxwood was the most beautiful girl in town and she seemed convinced that she could have everything. She wouldn't settle for anything less. Most of the young men in this town lusted after her. I have to admit that even I have had the desire to touch her soft peachy skin and run my fingers through her silky caramel hair. She truly was a vision of beauty. However, her father was filthy rich and he spoiled her far too much in her childhood. She was selfish and shallow. They were her biggest flaws and were the exact reason why I couldn't imagine myself with her by my side.

Despite what I thought, she apparently wanted me over any of the other men in the town. One day, she took it upon herself to come to my home and pay me an unwanted visit. I was just about to go into my garden like I did everyday when she dropped by. She gave me a flawless smile and batted her perfect eyelashes at me. I was caught off guard, taken by her obvious beauty.

"Good afternoon, Liam." She greeted sweetly in an innocent voice laced with traces of seduction and malice.

I knew very well what she was up to and I didn't like it one bit. However, my accursed boyish instincts compelled me to want her, to desire anything that she could offer. Her voice was causing my thoughts to become a train wreck. I was left speechless by her and I could find nothing interesting to reply with. I could only muster up a few words to say. Pretty much the same ones she'd used. "Good afternoon to you too, Annie."

"Isn't it, though?" She quickly responded in that all too fake voice of cheerfulness. "The sun just seems to… bring out the most beautiful things."

She batted those perfect lashes of her and her rosy lips turned up into a suggestive smile. I wanted to kiss her so badly, just to hold her against me to see what she felt like there. I wanted her so much in that moment that I didn't realize when her attention had been distracted from me.

"Oh! Is that your garden?" She inquired excitedly. "May I see it?"

"Sure, I guess." I softly murmured in reply.

In all honesty, I didn't want anyone to enter what I thought of as my sanctuary. It was almost a violation to my personal space. However, Annie was running towards my garden before I had even replied to her. I quickly followed her, a sick feeling beginning to rise within me. I didn't like this. I didn't like Annie here. It was unsettling and I knew that something was bound to go wrong with her presence here.

At first, all she did was run from flower to flower, 'ooh'ing and 'ahh'ing and asking me about them. So, it wasn't that bad at first. I gave her all the answers she wanted and explained what she wanted explained. I must say, she was very talkative and certainly had me talking as well. Personally, I preferred my silence. I'd rather she shut up too. But, unfortunately, I can't wish something that will never be true.

And then, Annie saw her. She saw my precious little robin and that was it.

"Oh, how cute!" She squealed while running towards the cherry tree.

I let out a gasp and ran after her as she reached out her hand to seize my little bird. The poor robin! She was just sitting there in her nest, puffing up her feathers in an attempt to be intimidating. I wanted her to fly away somewhere safe! I didn't want her to be hurt by the idiocy of this stupid girl!

I wrapped my arms tightly around Annie's waist and harshly pulled her away from the tree, just as she was about to grab my little bird. Annie let out a scream of protest and thrashed about in my arms in an attempt to get back to my robin.

"No!" She screamed. "I want her! I want her!"

"You can't have her!" I retorted angrily while dragging her to the entrance of my garden. She was still screaming and flailing around in protest, still reaching out for the little robin who glared at us from her nest. I would have no more of this girl's silliness. I pulled her out of my garden and brought her out to the street.

"You are not welcome here, Annie. Go home." I told her angrily.

She glared at me so venomously for so long that I thought her eyes would burn a hole in me. Then, turning with a huff, Annie stomped off down the road in a fit of rage.

"Fine!" She shouted at me. "I'll not have you, Liam! Don't you dare come crawling back to me once you've realized what you've given up! I swear to you that I'll never be yours—"

I drowned her out after that and I turned to head back to my garden to check on the little bird. I was certain that I heard Annie scream loudly right after I'd turned my attention away from her. She honestly made me sick. She seriously thought that I wanted her in the first place? And to think that she was even suggesting that I'd come crawling back to her? She was crazy! Just a stupid, pathetic, little girl.

I looked over my garden to make sure that all the flowers were still intact. I feared that Annie might have pulled at them when I was bringing her out. Thankfully, each blossom still looked as perfect as it had earlier. However, with what I was about to find out, I would've rather had the flowers wilting away.

I looked up into the cherry tree where my beloved robin sat, feathers still puffed up in an attempt to seem intimidating. She was eyeing me warily and angrily and, when I approached her, the sound she made was anything but welcoming. She was completely rejecting me. I felt as if something sharp had jabbed into my heart and I felt sorrow unlike anything else. This feeling was worse than anything I'd ever felt.

I decided to leave her alone—to see if that would help her in any way at all. However, when I next came to visit my garden, she reacted in the same way she had before. This continued on for a long time afterwards. It got to the point where I just stopped trying to care for the bird. I would tend to my flowers everyday under her hateful gaze and then retire back to the inside of my home. Everyday, I felt like a piece of me was crumbling away.

I didn't feel as if all hope was lost though. It was true that the little robin was quite angry with me and would only glare at me whenever I was present but, over time, she began to sing again. Not in my presence, of course, but it was an improvement. Instead of listening to her from the bench under the cherry tree, I listened to her through an open window while I sat in the confines of my home. This became the norm.

Then came that fateful day.

I did not wake to my little bird's singing that morning. Rather, I woke up to squawking. This wasn't my robin but I was certain that I heard her desperately crying out. I was instantly off my bed and peering out the window that overlooked my garden. I couldn't see much of what was going on. And then I saw a bird fly around with blue and black feathers. My eyes widened in fear and I realized that a blue jay was attacking my beloved robin. I would not allow this!

I rushed out of my room, down the stairs, and out of my house to make my way to the garden. I headed right for the cherry tree, my heart beating fast in my chest as I ran. The blue jay was still there, forcing the little robin out of her nest.

"Stop!" I cried out angrily.

I tried to swat at the bird yet, I only turned to try and attack me. I withdrew my hand as the jay's black beak connected with it. I was about to swat at it again but, I was too slow to prevent what happened next. My robin was forcefully shoved out of her nest and that accursed blue jay wrapped its black talons around something in the nest before flying off. My robin let out a shrill cry and I looked on in horror when I realized what that blue jay had been after.

Everything made sense to me now. The reason why my little robin had once been so happy, the reason she was always singing, the reason why she didn't fly away when Annie tried to get a hold of her, and the reason why she fought so vigorously… she had been protecting her two baby birds. And they were now gone.

I looked up at the little robin as she lingered around her nest. She was singing a mournful song that sounded more like she was crying out to her lost children. It was heartbreaking to watch her. She had fought so hard to keep them alive and now, they were gone forever. Ignoring all common sense, I reached out and took the small bird into my hands, gently holding her close to me. She was still crying for the loss of her children and it seemed she didn't have the heart to fly away from me.

I gently cradled her close to my chest and I was certain that I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't recall the last time I had cried. It had been years, of that, I was sure. This feeling of utter helplessness was so unbearable that I couldn't help but cry. The one thing most precious to me had forever been destroyed: my robin's happiness.

I sat there with her cradled in my hands all day. All day. Some might say I was crazy for doing such a thing but… I was afraid of what would happen to my little bird if I left her alone. However, there were times when I had to leave her for my body had demands that couldn't be put aside. So, I left my robin in her nest for the short amount of time I'd spend away from her before coming right back to make sure she was alright.

Light slowly faded from the sky and I was becoming very drowsy. Still, I did not want to leave my bird alone. I couldn't. I didn't want her to be alone. The night was just too much to face. I held her until I found myself dozing off. I knew I couldn't keep this up. I needed sleep. I also knew that I would have to leave my little bird sometime sooner or later. So, I gently placed her in her nest and glanced sorrowfully upon her one last time before I retired to my home.

The next morning, she was gone. My robin had flown away, leaving only a nest full of feathers, broken eggshells, and bittersweet memories. I kept thinking that she might come back—like all of this was just a bad dream and that I would soon wake up to see her happily singing in my garden once more. It never happened. She never came back and I fell into despair.

I mourned her for a very long time. Losing her put me into a depression so deep that I felt as if I was drowning in it. The thought of ending my life—ending this unwavering pain—crossed my mind many times. I could never do it, though. Deep down, I felt as if I would see my little bird again. It was a foolish hope, but a hope that kept me alive.

After about a year, I began to slowly heal. My pain was not so great anymore and I left my house more and more often than I had been doing. I went into town more frequently and I had gotten to know many of the people who lived there. I had made friends with quite an agreeable fellow. Apparently he was quite the charmer with women and they all came flocking to him. All women but one.

Annie decided that she had gotten over our last encounter and she met me with a more sincere demeanor. I soon became friends with her as well, although, my other friend persuaded me that I should marry her. So, I did.

I gained a lot more respect from the higher class citizens but, I really didn't care what they thought of me. I personally didn't care about any of this life I was building for myself. I still wanted my precious little bird back. But that would never happen and life went on.

After our marriage, Annie moved in with me. However, from that moment, she began to act like a wife instead of some love struck teenager. Soon, I was doing everything she wanted like a slave. I mindlessly did as I was told since there was nothing more I could do to get the actual life I wanted. I became her little puppet.

There was one time when I rebelled against the strings Annie was trying to pull. "You have to go out and do something about that garden!" she would say. I hadn't gone into my garden since she left and, well, with over a year of neglect, it wasn't in good shape. I no longer cared about it. It was only part of that terrible memory. However, Annie was persistent and clearly stated that she would not live in a beautiful house that had a mess of a backyard. So, I was forced to once again tend to my flowers.

It took a great deal of work to restore my garden to what it once was. Pretty much all of the blossoms had wilted and died. Most of them had to be replanted. Not to mention, I had to get rid of all the weeds that had infested the area. It took about a month to restore the garden to a state where it would be able to grow into what it once was. All that was needed was time. And time was something that was ticking away on the clock of my sanity. I knew I was beginning to break.

Time passed and I slowly became the lifeless zombie I had been once before. Only, this time, I was animated by bitterness and hatred towards my wife. Annie was a torrent of pressure that I could no longer deal with. I hated her with a burning passion. She reflected my emotions and she would lash out at me with her words. She was a venomous snake that had me tightly wrapped within her coils as she injected poison into my very soul. It was sheer torture to be within her presence.

However, as my garden grew to what it once was, Annie would often sit outside in the twilight hours on the bench beneath the cherry tree. I was never out there when she was. I only ever went into the garden to tend to the garden. The flowers weren't even as they once were. The colours were less vibrant and they no longer brought any life to the backyard. They were fake. Fake, fake, fake. All of it fake. It made me sick. However, there was one thing that made me even sicker: the fact that Annie tried to get me to come out and sit with her everyday.

One day, I had been tending to the flowers and Annie made a clever move. She came out to see me and linked her arm around mine. She was smiling, gazing lovingly at me with her beautiful green eyes. I simply ignored her, pulling away in an attempt to retreat back inside. She whined softly and began crying. I stopped and turned to look into her weeping eyes.

"You don't love me!" She cried out through sobs. "You never come and sit with me and you always seem to push me away."

I frowned while letting out a sigh before approaching her. I wrapped my arms around her in a lover's embrace and let her cry onto my shoulder. I gently ran my hands up and down her back in a way that I hoped was comforting to her. I didn't want her more upset than she already was. Ha, I really was weak. Annie was getting the best of me.

"You know, it's upsetting, really." She continued to say through soft whimpers. "It's almost as if you cared more about that silly little bird than you have ever cared about me."

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Time had just run out. Something within me snapped. My hold on Annie tightened and she looked up to gaze into my intense, sapphire eyes. I then kissed her with such passion that she was trembling when the kiss was over. I smiled mysteriously at her expression of shock and confusion.

"Oh, Annie…" I murmured softly. "Don't you know? I love you. I love you so very, very much. After all, what is one little bird compared to our love?"

I lifted Annie into my arms and kissed her again before bringing her back to the house. I was amazed that she hadn't noticed how dangerously calm my voice had been. Truly amazing. And she would never live to understand why.

We made love one final time before I allowed her to drift off into a peaceful sleep. She'd receive a silent death. That much she deserved. So, I left her sleeping for now, and I dressed myself in clothes as black as the moonless night. A cloak enshrouded my figure and a hood shaded my face. With this new attire, I stripped away all humanity I had left.

I left my house to enter my garden. Instead of tending to the blossoms, I made my way to the small shed that contained all of my gardening tools. I took a scythe from the shed and then turned to seek out my roses. Yes, Annie loved roses—especially the red ones. There was a whole section in my garden dedicated to the crimson flowers. I smiled darkly as I came upon them and I immediately set to work, perfectly cutting each rose to perfection until I had dozens of long-stem roses. There were so many of them. I just hoped that there were enough.

I made my way back to the front of my house, one arm wrapped around many roses, and the other carrying my scythe. Once I stepped onto the porch, I let the roses fall before the doorstep and I took a single rose from that pile before entering my home. I silently walked back up to the bedroom to find that Annie was right where I left her. With a twisted smile, I went and sat on the bed beside her, gently placing the rose on her chest. I leaned forward and kissed her one last time.

"She meant everything to me." I whispered softly in a voice that didn't seem to be my own.

Then, I took my scythe and gracefully dragged the blade across her neck. She'd loose too much blood to ever wake up and find out what was happening to her. And now, my darling wife, Annie, was no more. I left her side to return to the roses I had left on the porch. There were still so many of them left to give… so many souls to collect in return… and so little time before dawn. So, with the roses taken carefully back into my arms, I headed into town.

I silently went from house to house, slipping in through doors that never had any reason to be locked. I sought out every person in each house and collected their life's debt in return for one blood red rose. Death swept over the town I'd once been a part of and any sort of life was fading away as quickly as the night.

The sky was beginning to lighten when I made my way to the very last house that contained any living being. I had a total of three roses left—only three more lives to take. The first two went to the lord and lady of the house. They had still been deep in sleep and were of no trouble to dispatch. However, when I came to the room of their one and only child, I was struck with hesitation.

I found myself overlooking a cradle. Bright blue, innocent eyes gazed up at me in wonder and curiosity. Both rose and scythe dropped to the floor and I next found myself cradling this little baby in my arms. She was so small and so… fragile. I couldn't just kill her. Not even Death could come to take this child's soul. I couldn't harm her. She reminded me of… of her. This child had to live.

I held the little girl close to me and I quickly made my way out of the house. I knew of another town nearby and it would be the perfect place for this child to start anew. I had to be fast though. Dawn was quickly approaching and I did not wish to be seen in daylight.

I took a white stallion from the stables behind the house and rode off into the approaching dawn with the beautiful child in my arms. I held her tightly to me, fearful that she might fall to her death if I made one wrong move. We rode across vast fields and through dark forests. The sun was just beginning to appear over the horizon as the town came into view. People would be beginning to wake soon. I would have to make haste.

As I rode into town, I tried to think of the best place to leave the child. I had no way of knowing where a good home would be. The appearance of a house did not say anything about the people living within. I knew this statement to be truth for it was true about my home and the relationship between me and my deceased wife. However, I still searched.

I was halted in my attempts when I saw a young woman walking down the street. I was amazed to see her wandering all alone. I decided to follow her. The woman approached a cathedral in the center of the town and she entered the vast building. Suddenly, the answer I had been searching for came to me. I could leave the child within the church.

I dismounted the horse at the steps of the cathedral and I entered the holy building. I couldn't help but feel guilt wash over me as I stepped within. I felt as if someone was gazing into my very soul and had seen the things which I had previously done. I needed to leave this place as soon as possible.

I silently approached the woman from behind, observing her peculiar actions. She was kneeling on the floor in front of the statue of a mother with a baby. She was softly whispering pleadings to the 'Virgin Mary' to bless her with a child. I found it strange that her prayers would be answered by a murderer. Still, she seemed a good enough person to leave the child with.

"Excuse me," I murmured softly to gain her attention.

She gasped and turned to look at me. Shock was clearly evident on her face but, as she looked at the child in my arms, her eyes widened and her face paled. She stood to look me in the eyes, carefully observing me.

"Are you an angel?" She asked me in complete awe.

"I don't know." I replied quietly. "However, I'm certain that someone must really care about you."

I extended my arms, allowing her to take the baby within her own. She cradled the child in a motherly embrace and began to cry out of sheer amazement. A smile made its way onto my face and I felt as if I had just done something amazing. I turned to leave the woman.

"Wait!" She cried out.

I stopped and turned back to look at her. "Yes?"

She smiled at me warmly. "You must be an angel for there could have been no other who could have made me as happy as you have. Thank you."

I returned her smile and gave her a nod before walking away from her. As I made my way through the cathedral, I halted with a gasp. Sweet notes cascaded down upon me and I looked up to see a little robin flying around the high arched ceiling. Was I dreaming? I raised my arm as if the reach out to the little bird and tears streamed down my face. The little robin—my little robin—came soaring down to perch in my hand. I brought her close to me and I was certain I was trembling from sheer joy. She had returned to me. My beloved robin had returned to me. My reason for living.

"I guess this means that you're an angel too." I whispered softly to the little bird.

She chirped softly in response and I smiled. It was time we started a new life. I carried her out of the church and allowed for her to fly out of my hand and all around me. I mounted the white stallion and rode off towards the rising sun with my little bird flying beside me. We were two angels racing the wind—one of life and one of death.

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I bet you were all thinking that Liam would've lost his heart in the end! Yeah, I kinda figured that he would too but, it never happened. I was actually thinking of continuing this story to the events AFTER he lost his heart but, I'm still not quite sure. I want opinions… REVIEW! Oh! And if I do continue, I need to think of a good name for the robin. I want something fitting to the world that Marluxia grew up in. I was thinking Lucy. I want your ideas too! Let me know your name ideas and if I should continue with this or not!

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering exactly where the name 'Liam' came from… I'm not a fan of the names that you can form with the letters in Marluxia's name. I mean, common. Lumaria? No offense to anyone who uses that name for him, of course. So, when I found that some of the letters created the name 'Liam', I got to thinking. Did the remaining letters create a decent last name? I found that they created 'Rau'. This is, in fact, a real last name! I know. Because I've seen it before. Therefore, I use the name Liam Rau for Marluxia's other and often put him in a setting fitting to the name—usually around the beginning of the 1900's—hence why some parts of this story seemed old-fashioned. Anyways, I hope that cleared up any confusion on my name choice. Don't forget to review!