Title: Fruit of Castebaris
Title: Beauty in Weeping
Author: Gail R. Delaney
Disclaimer: Not mine. If I owned Doctor Who, Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant would be my own private little playmates.
Setting: Between Father's Day and The Empty Child
Summary: It's not always about saving the world, or righting a wrong, or running for their lives. Sometimes, it's about seeing the glory of the Universe and the beauty of being alive.
Rating: Mature
The Doctor took me to this planet a while back - it was much colder than this - they called it 'Woman Wept'. The planet was actually called 'Woman Wept'. 'Cause, if you looked at it, right, from above, there's like this huge continent, like all curved round... sort of looked like a woman, you know... lamenting. Oh my God, and we went to this beach, right, no people, no buildings, just this beach like, a thousand miles across! And something had happened, something to do with the sun, I don't know - but the sea had just frozen! Like, in a split second in the middle of a storm, right, waves and foam, just frozen! All the way out to the horizon. Midnight, right, we walk underneath these waves a hundred feet tall, made of ice.
--
The sky was blue, but blue was inadequate to describe what Rose saw. Dark cobalt blended into pale blue — like the color of the Doctor's eyes — and deep navy. It looked like an artist had dropped globs of every blue he had, then ran a brush through them to blend them together.
And just like a painting of a moment frozen it time, a massive wave rose from the sea to reach for the sky and curl forward to shield her from the wind.
She had seen things that broke her heart, and had seen things that terrified her, but this… this took her breath away and brought tears to her eyes.
Her shoes crunched on the hard sea as she walked beneath the arch of the wave. The wind that whipped over the beach was blocked by the wave, but the air within the curve was colder and her breath curled in front of her face. The water was white, the foam frozen solid in a flash, and within the thick ice she saw a small fish suspended in time, his rainbow colored scales preserved forever.
She reached out to touch the glass-like surface.
"No," the Doctor said behind her, his hands coming down on her shoulders.
Rose looked over her shoulder at him, and smiled slowly when their eyes met. One hand slid from her shoulder down her arm, to curl around her bare fingers. Despite the cold, his skin was warm.
"The ice is so cold, it'll burn your skin," he explained, turning her to face him. From the pocket of his jacket, he pulled a pair of brown leather gloves. Rose let him slide the glove over her hands, sighing at the warmth trapped in the soft fur lining. When both hands were sheathed in the gloves, he ran his thumb over her cheek, brushing away the frozen droplets of her tears. "There."
Rose stepped closer to him, just so the fronts of their coats brushed and she could lay her cheek on his lapel if she wanted, and reached out again to touch the frozen wave. The surface was smooth in spots, rough in others where the motion of the sea had created frothy foam.
"It's so beautiful," she whispered.
"It'll all be gone soon." He looked up, his eyes tracking the curve of the wave. "The sun is dying. That's what caused all this. Soon, it'll die completely. Lose its gravitational hold on the planet. Another hundred years, and they'll collide."
Rose smiled, laughing softly. "That what you call soon?"
"In the greater scheme of things, yeah. A hundred years when the Universe will survive for billions of years, that's not long at all."
"We'd better hurry then." She grinned.
He took her hand and led her back to the beach. His steady step and strong hold kept her from falling when her shoes slipped on the sloping surface. They reached the beach, and the hard sand crunched beneath her shoes. There was no snow, and if it weren't for the curl of her breath and the nip of cold at her ears, the beach looked like any beach on any summer day. From a distance, the shore grasses appeared to sway in an unseen breeze. But, when they walked closer, Rose saw the thin sheath of ice that coated each blade, holding it in place.
She stopped walking, and the Doctor stopped with her, looking down at her expectantly. Rose looked up and down the beach as far as she could see to each horizon. There was nothing but sand and grass and frozen waves. The sky had shifted from multiple shades of blue to a deep, inky black broken up by the twinkle of stars unhindered by city lights or pollution.
"It doesn't look like anyone was ever here."
"On this part of the planet, hardly anyone was. They all lived closer to the equator. This planet wasn't exactly warm to begin with. And when they discovered their sun was dying, they all packed up and left. Moved on to warmer pastures."
"How long ago?"
He looked at his watch, and Rose tilted her head to see the face. To anyone else, the watch looked like any other. Hour hand. Minute hand. Second hand ticking away. But he saw something no one else did.
"One hundred forty-two years, eight months, three days."
"Show off," she said nudging him, sticking the tip of her tongue through her teeth.
They walked for a long time, holding hands, talking softly and enjoying the majestic beauty of the dying planet. Even though the Doctor swore he forgave her for what happened when he took her to see her father, and he promised her he knew she hadn't meant any harm, Rose had felt the thin wall between them for a few weeks. For the first time since then, she didn't feel his hesitation – his barriers. They were them again, and it felt good. She had missed him.
"Come on, then," he said after a while. They had walked until the TARDIS was out of view, then turned back. With the flat beach, and nothing to block their view, Rose figured they probably walked nearly two kilometers down the beach. "Your lips are turning blue. Time for a hot bath and a warm drink."
"Will you join me?" Rose didn't look right at him, but watched him through her lashes as they walked, not missing a beat.
He turned his head, and watched her for several beats of her pounding heart before he stopped, turning her to face him. The Doctor laid his hands against her cheeks, his thumbs brushing her skin, before he leaned down and kissed her. Despite the cold, and the bite in the air, a warm curl liquefied in her and flowed into her limbs. Rose curled her gloved fingers around the red scarf he wore, letting the sensation flow through her. He pulled back, meeting her gaze with his face only inches from hers. "Yeah."
Rose smiled and wrapped her free hand around his arm, leaning her head against his shoulder as they walked again toward the TARDIS.
Her fingers were so cold by the time they reached the TARDIS, that Rose couldn't have unlocked the blue box if she tried, despite the gloves he had given her. The console room was pleasantly warm compared to the outside, making Rose's skin tingle. She thought he might pause at the console, take them away, but he just walked past and led her into the unending space beyond the console room.
The first time Rose was in the Doctor's bedroom, it had been deep in the chambers of the TARDIS, buried away from everything. She had learned — or at least surmised — that he didn't use the room much and so it had been tucked away. Now, many of the rooms they used the most seemed to have clustered closer to the console room: the bedroom, the kitchen, his library. Her room was nearby, but she hadn't slept there since the first night they spent together after leaving Utah.
He led her to the bedroom, snaking his scarf off his neck as they went through the door. She felt bundled from head-to-toe, and all he'd done was add a scarf. He hadn't even bothered button his jacket. After tossing his jacket on the bed, he slowly unwrapped her own scarf from around her neck. Each brush of his fingers on her skin made her breath catch.
"You get undressed." His voice was rough and low. "I'll go draw the bath."
"Hold on," she said as he stepped away, catching the sleeve of his jumper. She drew him back and stood on her toes to kiss him. He winked when he stepped away again, tossing his jumper at her just before he disappeared into the bath.
By the time Rose stripped of the jacket, boots and layers of clothes he'd insisted she wear, she realized how deep the cold had settled into her body. Her feet and hands were bright red, and she was sure her nose and ears matched. Clipping her hair into a haphazard twist, Rose slipped on a soft cotton robe before leaving the bedroom.
The air in the bath was thick and steaming, fragrant with whatever oil the Doctor had chosen. The sound of running water echoed off the expansive marble walls and she walked carefully across the damp stone. The floor was warm from beneath, easing some of the cold ache in her feet. She smiled when she walked past the lump of black jeans heaped on top of his boots that he'd left on his way.
"Come on then, get in here. Don't need you catching cold."
Rose loved this bathroom. She'd loved the bath the TARDIS created off her own bedroom, with the waterfall shower and deep tub… but that room was nothing compared to this room. The tub was massive, with curved sides and contoured ledges to sit on. It always seemed to be perfect for whomever was using it, one person or two.
Sometimes, she felt like she was being spied on all the time. The TARDIS had a way of expecting their needs and meeting them, whether it be just what she craved for a midnight snack or the temperature of her shower.
The Doctor was already in the tub, the water hitting just above his waist. He'd foregone the bubbles, and she wasn't surprised after the huff he had put up about being dragged into her last 'bubble bath'. Rose, I'm nine-hundred years old! I'm too old for silly little bubble baths!
She loved him.
Just like that, she knew it. It wasn't about the sky opening and the light of some magical epiphany shining down on her to tell her she loved him. It wasn't some shocking revelation.
It just was.
Just a few months with him, and she knew.
She loosened the belt holding her robe closed and let it slip off her shoulders as she stepped to the edge of the tub. He offered his hand, and she took it as she took the steps she couldn't see into the warm, fragrant water. Rose hummed appreciatively as the warm water immediately chased away the cold. She settled into the space in front of him, his long legs bracketing her body as she leaned back into his chest. The water rose almost to her shoulders and the heat penetrated to her bones.
The Doctor wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple.
"Warm?"
She only managed to hum, the heat of the bath and the comfort of being in his arms making it hard to put two words together. His hands shifted over her, rubbing the warm, oiled water into her skin. His strong fingers kneaded her shoulders, and caressed her body in contrasting contact.
"Thank you," she finally managed to say as he pressed his mouth against the side of her neck.
"Haven't done anything yet," he said against her skin with a soft chuckle.
Rose laughed, the sound little more than a low rumble in her chest. "No, I mean thank you for bringing me here. It was beautiful."
"I thought you might like it." His lips brushed her ear. "It's not all dangerous, travelin' with me."
Rose tipped her head back to rest it on his shoulder, letting her look into his face. "Oh, I don't know 'bout that. This could be dangerous."
His thumb brushed over her chin, urging her to part her lips. His mouth brushed over hers, not fully kissing her, but enticing the same deep reaction out of her. Then his tongue slipped passed her lips, and Rose moaned softly. Or the Doctor moaned. She wasn't sure which of them made the sound, only knew she felt it.
She turned in the circle of his arms, the water splashing against the sides of the bath with their movement, and straddled his hips. His hands smoothed along her back, sliding down her spine to grip her hips, his fingertips pressed against her bottom. She felt the evidence of his arousal against her thigh and rose on her knees, letting him slide inside her. Rose tipped back her head and purred deep in the back of her throat.
He whispered her name against her breast, and her heart skipped. No one said her name the way he did, with weight and emotion, as if he cherished it. They moved together, the sound of water splashing on marble mingling with their soft sounds of pleasure.
Forever. That's all she wanted.
Forever.