If only this was real. Huh, well here it goes.

I, music vamp, do not own fullmetal alchemist

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FULLMETAL ALCHMIST

Collector's doll

Always wanted an Edward Elric? Ever thought in science "omg! I am going to fail this test. I need help right now!!!!!!!!!" Well now YOU can own your very own life-size Edward Elric, the Fullmetal alchemist! All it will cost you is $99.99 plus tax. Call this toll free number (1-800-the-truth) it' everything you been waiting for!!!

Physical description

Sex: male

Eyes: deep gold

Hair: light blond

Weight:?

Height: 4'11 to 5'4 (I tried to figure this out but anyways…)

Skin tone: tan

Your Edward Elric includes:

1 alchemy book

2 sets of clothes

1 extra pair of automail limbs (in case the one he has get broken due to a "short" incident)

1 suitcase to put all of his small things in.

Your Edward Elric comes in these

5 modes:

Happy/normal: you Edward Elric will be in this mode most of the time. To activate his other modes put him near some other FMA collector's dolls.

Sad: On October 3rd, your Edward Elric will have an unfortunate case of the blues. DO NOT FEAR! This is normal.

Angry/annoyed: When this happens it is probably because he has had negative encounter with another FMA collector's doll and/or found the ingredients for the philosopher's stone. There are other things that could get him into this mode. To see, check the warnings in the fine print.

Hungry: After a long day of traveling, your Edward will be hungry. Be prepared to give him lots of food. Also, if you think that he is over-indulging, trust me, he's not.

Zone out: when your Edward Elric is studying, he will not notice the world around him. He's off in the lala-land of alchemy. To get him out of the mode, use a pulling motion on his braid. Then, duck and cover.

What your Edward Elric can do:

1. Help you with your homework

2. Do simple household chores

3. Kick bully butt

4. Attract a lot of attention

5. Dust lower book shelves, but not the high ones

6. Make you laugh hysterically

7. And MUCH MORE!!

Warnings:

DO NOT under any circumstances call him short. This will result in physical harm to you.

Do not put him with: hoho-papa, Dante, lust, greed, gluttony, sloth or wrath. This will most likely result in a replacement of sloth and greed.

Do not harm his brother in any way. This will also result in physical harm to you.

Do not put him with Roy Mustang. There will be a battle and it will never end.

Do not tell your Winry that he broke his automail. This will result in him having a large wrench shaped bruise on his head and most likely on yours.

Do not give milk and not machine washable.

We hope you enjoy your Edward Elric. Just follow theses instructions and you can have a very happy time together. So, call this toll free number

(1-800-the-truth)

Soul not included

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Ha-ha that's the end! Any character you would like me to write about, just tell me so

Remember R&R! :)