AU, I guess. I'm ignoring what is happening in tonight's episode and what may happen in the finale. I refer to Castle's attitude lately, but I only reference that last part of Headhunters.

Okay, so this is a very very wordy chapter. I'm sorry for that, but it just came out that way. I have been mentally writing this for awhile but it just spilled out today.

Not sure how long this will be, but it probably wont be long- about five or six chapters. I'm going to post one and two today and written almost four.

Normal disclaimers apply.

The Dark Anniversary

Chapter One: Day One, Part 1

She let the sun beat down on her arms. She felt the warmth rising on her skin, reminding her of the summer season coming. She loved this feeling – a long drive, wind in her hair, sunglasses on, a new favorite song blaring from the windows as she hit the familiar open road.

As she drifted into the calm of the trip, she thought back to the path that had taken her here. Not all the way back, not entirely to the start - that memory lane would come later – but to a few weeks ago, when she saw the date on the calendar.

Kate felt the anniversary before she realized it. She was not a stranger to dark anniversaries, not since her mother passed. When the anniversary of her mother's death arrived each year, she would be on edge for weeks prior. She would feel the rise of anger at a case gone cold, the anguish of the victims' families that had no closure. Kate would spend the morning leaving flowers at the grave site and mourning the new set of 365 days her mother would not witness.

But for the anniversary of her shooting, she felt it first on her skin. Her scar itched a little more, begging for attention amidst the stressful atmosphere of a new case. She caught herself thinking about the pain at every quiet moment. Several times she would walk herself through it – Castle screaming her name, the bullet entering her chest, the pain, feeling as if she wouldn't survive, waking to find out that she almost didn't.

As the anniversary grew closer, she put in her time off notice. Her dad didn't ask questions when she asked if she could stay at the cabin for the weekend. Either not realizing the weekend in question or politely ignoring it, he accepted her excuse of needing to get away from the city. He even volunteered that he was going to be away on a fishing trip with an old friend anyways as to assure her that he would not be interrupting her solitude.

The week before the anniversary held no significance to her friends as well. Javier and Lanie mentioned catching a Yankees game during the weekend while Ryan had plans with Jennie's family. Both wished Kate a good break, without the slightest bit of recognition of why she was leaving.

Even Castle seemed to be busy with his own agenda this week. He had casually mentioned the week prior that Alexis had booked a trip to visit Stanford again, in order to make her final decision as to the college of her choice. He hadn't even been in the precinct for most of the week.

She was happy to be alone. Even with her experience of dark days, she wasn't sure how to acknowledge this one. Did she cry herself to sleep, staying in bed all day? Did she relax in the sun and will herself to not think about the moment that almost ended her life? How do you remember the day and not drown in the pain?

She had brought music to drown out her thoughts if needed. She had packed a bottle of wine if the music didn't work. Kate chided herself for spending several moments contemplating bringing a book to read before deciding that the sound of Castle's declaration of love was already ringing in her ears so loudly. She didn't need to read the books he wrote about her too. Though she did end up grabbing one of his earlier works as she was leaving the apartment.

As she pulled up to the cabin, she was so engrossed in her thoughts she didn't notice the car parked just to the right of the front yard. She didn't even see the smoke from the grill until she was close enough to smell the aroma of perfectly cooked steaks.

"Great, you are just in time. Grab those will you." said the man behind her, with no hint of surprise at her arrival.

"What are you doing here Castle?"

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