All About Kyuubi

Summary: Gaara had thought life with Shukaku was hell. Then he met Naruto's sister. "Kyuubi…why is there a dead raccoon on the table?" "Tsunade suggested I find creative outputs for my anger. Care to guess who I'm pissed at?" Suddenly, his life didn't look so bad. Modern fiction AU

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto (But I wish I did!)

Warning: Cussing, violence, sex, drugs, ect. Seriously, this story is about two "demons", mind the rating. You've been warned.

Side note: Kyuubi is an Oc, as well as Shukaku. THE PAIRINGS CHANGE THROUGHOUT THE STORY! I marked it as a Gaara/Kyuubi fic, but that's because they are mostly the MC's of the story. Honestly, I'm leaning towards Shukaku/Kyuubi/Gaara/Sakura/Naruto/Hinata kind of triangle...That's a lot of slashes...haha.

Other than that, I think you'll enjoy; so leave a review to let me know :D.

BadFiction

OooOooO

Chapter One: Never trust a Fox in women's clothing…

Shukaku watched with intrigued eyes, as the newly admitted teenager screamed and fought with the nursing assistant trying to place her in the evaluation room. The tan muscular man wrapped his arms around her waist—lifting and carrying, as opposed to dragging and pushing her—and the pigtail braided girl used the elevation to kick her feet off a wall and slam him backwards into a metal cabinet. The short distance she fell from the aide's arms to the tiled floor must have momentarily knocked the wind out of her, because she lay still on her side groaning before slowly rolling onto her back. The blonde slowly bent her knees, bringing her feet closer to her body while rubbing her bruised hip. The spying redhead noted that from his place in the room's corner, her new position gave him a clear view up the center of her ripped jean skirt.

Not that he was complaining. Shukaku felt rather privileged that he was exposed to the sight of her bright orange and black polka-dotted panties.

Eventually, she swung her black fishnet covered legs over her head, flipping her body in a backwards tumble, until she landed on her booted feet in a low squatting position. A wide smirk grew between her freckled cheeks and she spread her legs into a sprinters starting position, facing the open doorway.

"Fuck! She's gonna run again!" shouted the stunned aide as he scrambled to tackle her to the floor with his body before she took off down the hall. On the outside, it seemed like the larger man would be able to hold down the petite girl easily, but the blood gushing from the aide's nose, onto his crisp white uniform, told a different story. Twice, she had already nailed him in the face with her forehead.

A low chuckle rumbled in Shukaku's chest. Violence was something he couldn't help but appreciate and he decided he liked her style. He licked his bottom lip waiting to see what would happen next.

"Get off me!" she screamed, squirming and thrashing her body underneath the aide. "Rape! He's trying to rape me!"

"Jesus, I'm not raping you! Stay still!" The two continued to struggle for dominance, until two more orderlies rushed into the room, gaining an upper hand against the hostile blonde. Shukaku closed his eyes, disappointed that the chaos was coming to an end so quickly. It had been a fun distraction from the normal hell of "San Nin Hospital for the Mentally Disturbed" while it lasted, but no one ever caused trouble for too long. Tsunade, one of the three "wardens" of San Nin, made sure of that with her iron fist approach towards rehabilitation.

"Damn it, Kyuubi! You're worse than that Sabaku kid!" Shukaku slightly opened one eye at the sound of his surname and glanced at the aide. The man had moved to the side, holding his bleeding nose pinched between his thumb and index finger, while the orderlies who had rushed into the room at the sound of commotion held the girl—Kyuubi, he presumed—from either side. A third man in ordinary clothing, sat bravely in front, shoving a white restrictive jacket over the arms of Kyuubi's black t-shirt.

"Her shoes! Grab her shoes!" yelled the white haired man when one of her unlaced boots kicked inches from his face. More screaming ensued as the man managed to remove first the left and then the right. The deadly rubber soled weapons were tossed a safe distance over his shoulder, just as the girl's foot delivered a strong kick to the poor man's face. He was knocked back a foot or two, but the fishnet tights she was wearing weren't quite as damaging as the shoes would have been had she landed a blow earlier.

"Fuck you, Kakashi! I hate you! I fucking hate you for bringing me here!" she screamed at the man as he grabbed her legs, attempting to keep her from kicking him again. The other two men each grabbed under her arms and together the three lifted her into the air. She pulled, thrashed, and twisted her body trying to escape from their grasp, but the three held firm. Shukaku was amazed that the man called Kakashi was able to keep hold of both her legs by himself, when the two holding her arms seemed to be having so much trouble. They placed her next to him on the floor and hooked her jacket to wall restraints to prevent her from running again. "I hope you die! I hope you all fucking die!"

She spit in Kakashi's face as he kneeled down to her level and looked at her sadly. "It's for your own good, Kyuubi. You're lucky I convinced the judge to send you here, instead of prison. He wanted to charge you as an adult, do you know that? You need to start thinking before you act; think about how upset you're making your brother. Even he has a limit; he's not going to put up with your outbursts forever."

"Like I care; that little bastard stopped being my brother when he abandoned me with the rest of you!" She pulled forward against the restraints holding her, causing Kakashi—and a few others—to jump back reflexively. "Tell him he's dead to me; tell him, TELL HIM!"

Kakashi stood and turned his back to the screaming girl. "Goodbye, Kyuubi."

Kyuubi screamed and cursed at the man as he walked away, but he only shut the door behind him. The aide that brought Kyuubi to the room checked her restraints, making sure they were secure, before leaving to receive treatment for his broken nose. The two helpers left as well, locking the door behind them and leaving Shukaku alone with Kyuubi until the psychiatric examiner arrived to evaluate them.

To Skukaku's absolute horror, the girl's mood took a 180 degree turn from the fiery demon spirit he saw a moment ago, to a crying, whimpering mess.

He watched it start out as silent hiccups, violently shaking her small frame, but quickly turning into a complete breakdown. Moments passed with her sobs being the only sound in the room and irritation finally got the best of his short temper. "Jesus, put a sock in it, will ya? Save the tears for someone who cares."

She froze. It occurred to Shukaku, as she slowly lifted her head in his direction, that she hadn't noticed him sitting next to her before he spoke. Tears caused the dark colors of her heavy eye makeup to run down her cheeks in long streaks, but a smile grew on her lips in contrast as her stormy blue eyes peered into his green-gold.

Shukaku swallowed slowly and clenched his jaw, steeling his emotions; something inside him recognized something similar in Kyuubi's expression. For the first time in a long time, a sliver of fear crawled up his spine as the possibility of being in the presence of a greater threat than himself, infiltrated his thoughts.

"Hi." She reached her foot out, tapping it gently against his leg. "What's your name?"

He hesitated, wary of her changing personalities. "Shukaku."

She rubbed her toes in slow circular motions up his shin and he felt his jaw drop a little. It wasn't the first time a girl had flirted with him—he was approached on a regular basis; some even more attractive than the crazy blonde at his side—but in Kyuubi's case it seemed more predatory in nature. Shukaku didn't know how he felt being sucked in to her obvious game when he was so used to being the one making the rules. In the end, he was a teenage boy and she was a pretty girl. He knew that he should pull away from the seductive feel of her touch before her motives were made apparent, but found himself enjoying the thrill of a possible challenge with this unknown opponent.

"What kind of name is Shukaku?" she asked laughing, stretching her foot further passed the underside of his knee at the same time. "Isn't that the name of a desert demon?"

"What kind of name is Kyuubi?" he remarked back, swallowing again as her foot paused on his thigh, resting dangerously close to an area he'd rather her not explore; at least not after he had seen the strength of her kick earlier.

Kyuubi smirked. "It was supposed to be romantic. The legend says that the fox demon, Kyuubi, took a female form when she met her soul mate. In reality, my father had bad taste when it came to naming his kids. I'm just happy he didn't name me fish cake."

Shukaku laughed, recognizing the name. "Naruto? You're related to that idiot? When you put it that way I guess we were the lucky ones. I'd rather be the sand demon than the demon who loves himself."

She laughed with him, throwing her head back and showing off the sharp edges of her elongated canines. "Wow. Our parents must have read the same 'World's Worst Baby Names' book." She closed her eyes. "So what are you here for? I'm sure you heard that I'm avoiding prison."

He nodded when she opened her eyes again. "Yeah, same reason; I've been sentence to twenty-four months of psychiatric rehab. Twelve, if I behave."

"Wow, I only got eighteen. What'd you do?" she asked, her second foot following the path of the first, before resting on his other thigh.

Shukaku shook his head, trying to cling to what control he still had left. "You first."

"Okay, that's fair. My juvy record is filled with vandalism and assault charges. Recently, I caused a fire that basically wiped out half of my village. They were going to send me to prison, but Kakashi, my legal guardian at the moment, convinced them that I had 'pent up emotional issues' that have been ignored since I cut whiskers onto my little brother's face as a child. He persuaded them that it would be better to find the 'root'," she rolled her eyes as she drawled out the word, "of my anger, as opposed to sending me to a place that would potentially cause more harm by fueling it. His words, not mine."

Shukaku whistled, processing the new information. "And you looked so sweet and innocent when they brought you in, too."

She snorted, kicking him playfully in the rib. "Alright smartass, it's your turn. What did you do to earn that white jacket?"

The red head sighed, resting his head against the wall. How did he simplify such a complicated story? "It started when my twin brother and I killed our uncle by accident. Later, in a blind, drug induced, rage, I carved the kanji ai into Gaara—that's my brother—into his forehead, because I got tired of people not being able to tell us apart. I guess you can say I developed a dependency to narcotics which the court seems to believe fuels my antisocial personality disorder and my psychopathic tendencies. I'm basically here for drug rehab until I'm legally an adult."

Kyuubi let out a long, loud laugh. "It seems we're a lot alike."

She scooted closer and Shukaku realized that at some point in the conversation, she had unhooked herself from the chains attaching them to the wall. Her blue eyes filled with mischief, like the fox she was named after. "I like you."

She paused and Shukaku took the opportunity to voice his concern. "There's a 'but' coming next, isn't there?"

Kyuubi's grin grew; friendly, despite her harsh words. "But if you ever tell me to shut up, or call my brother an idiot again, I'll rip your tongue out of your face, got it?"

Her foot suddenly shot up towards his face. Shukaku was just barely able to keep it from nailing him in the jaw, by tangle it in the loosened sleeves of his hospital jacket. Pulling her leg towards him, she fell backwards and he launched on top, pinning her with the weight of his body. He smirked at the shocked look on her face, before lowering his head so his lips gently brushed the lobe of her ear.

"You're new…and cute. So I'll tell you how it is with a warning. Only a psycho would mess with me." He nibbled on her ear, enjoying the way she squirmed at his touch. Payback was a bitch. "So unless you want to die, I suggest you never try anything like that again. Do you want to die, Kyuubi?"

"Heh, haven't you heard?" she laughed, speaking in a dark voice. Shukaku lifted his head curiously, wanting to see her expression. His eyebrow arched on reflex when, instead of finding her cowering in fear, the pretty blonde smirked licking her red painted lips. "I am a fucking psycho."

Pain exploded when something hit his temple, and the world around him began to slowly fade away.

OooOooO

"Uuuuh" Kyuubi moaned. That red headed kid's skull was harder than she'd anticipated. She had hit him nearly five minutes ago and dark spots were still dancing at the corners of her vision. She moved to sit up, but the dead weight of the unconscious boy kept her pressed against the floor. Without thinking she moved to push him off, but remember her arms were still restrained when they didn't budge from their position across her chest.

"Fuck." The blonde cursed, getting angrier by the second. "You're too skinny to be this damn heavy!"

Kyuubi wrapped her legs around the boy's waist and rocked her body from side to side. Eventually, she was able to work up enough momentum to push him to the side with her shoulder and flip their positions; him flat on his back and her straddled on top. She would be willing to bet that, had he been conscious, he would have been smirking.

She smiled with the satisfaction of knowing she had been the victor in their little power struggle, and lowered her face until their foreheads were touching. "You're cute, but let this be a warning..."

She trailed off and he answered with a low groan. Kyuubi laid flat against his chest enjoying the steady rhythm of his heartbeat through thick fabric of their restraints. Her head tilted and slid alongside Shukaku's cheek, until her mouth was directly next to his ear. Whispering, she added. "You may be named after a sand demon, but even he's no match for a nine tailed fox."

Kyuubi planted a chaste kiss on his jaw and smiled slightly when she felt it twitch against her lips. She pulled away just in time to see the small upward curve to his mouth.

So he's awake, after all, she thought. And he's smart enough to pretend otherwise.

Laughing like a lunatic at all the fun she was going to have in the upcoming months, Kyuubi jumped to her feet and sat cross legged on the table.

And that was just how Naruto, Sasuke, Gaara, and Tsunade found her.

OooOooO

End note: Well there you have it; let me know what you think. I know this kind of fic might be a little outside the norm...

And! Because I'm feeling nice!

Chapter Two Preview: The mating rituals of Raccoons...

"Excuse me?" he deadpanned. "You think I'm what?"

"In love with me." She answered smugly, choosing this moment to examine her nails. "It was bound to happen, eventually. I am gorgeous, and you are a guy. It's only natural that you would become attracted to me."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You are out of your ego-centric mind."

"Obviously." She snickered.