A/N: Hey there ~ This fic is a challenge, in which I have to write a ficlet using a song for inspiration. These songs will be picked at random from my mp3 shuffle, and I cannot refuse to use a song unless I have the biggest of plot blocks XD It's gonna be... interesting :L I'm aiming to get to 100 songs eventually, or at least 50 if I'm lazy, so enjoy and look forward to more of these ;D There will be a variety of pairings ~

NOTE: This won't be updated very regularly, school is a huge slavedriver right now.

Song: Flyleaf - Red Sam (Acoustic)

Summary: Red had spent his childhood alone, being beaten and abused and starved. And then came Mana, but kindness hides the somewhat darker states of one's mind. Could Red trust this man who had such a broken smile? Allen childhood fic, quite angsty and dark.

Here I stand, empty hands, wishing my wrists were bleeding to stop the pain from the beatings. There you stood, holding me, waiting for me to notice you. But who are you?

Disclaimer: I don't own D Gray Man, Katsura Hoshino does.

The sound of raucous applause echoed behind silk curtains, the flickers of candles from the stage dimly lighting up the backstage area. Darkness clung to the unused props and the various outfits slung over chairs, almost hiding the small curled up figure lying on the floor from sight.

A young boy; brunette, pale, dressed in thin ripped clothes covered in dirt and flecks of blood. He had been polishing the props for the circus performers before the acts had started, but had ended up being beaten by the clown, Cosimo. Red, as the boy was called, had not started the fight nor intended to have riled the clown as much as he did. He was bad at controlling his temper, and he more often than not paid for it with a rather violent beating.

It had always been this way though, ever since Red was sold to the circus when he was very young. He scarcely remembered what happened, only that he was so very cold with a stomach knawing at itself from hunger. A man had shoved him towards the Ringmaster, a few notes and coins dropped into the man's palm before he left.

Red had always been ignored by the majority of the circus members, treated like an unwanted puppy lingering around them, wanting attention. Red soon came to realise that it was best to ignore them in return.

But, for a reason that Red did not quite understand, Cosimo had always had it out for him; right from the start the clown had been aggressive and violent towards the young boy, acting as if he had done him some wrong or another. Red had no idea what he had done, and resented Cosimo so much it bordered on being hatred.

The occasional slap became full-out beatings as the years wore on. Red became more and more used to his skin being mottled with bruises, more and more used to curling up on the dusty backstage floor barely able to breathe.

Cosimo's violence increased tenfold when a new clown joined the circus. He took his frustrations out on Red, beating him to let out the rage he felt at being overshadowed by a man and his dog.

That rage set off a chain of events unforeseen by everyone involved.

Those events that occurred that Winter were ones that Red would never forget, the memories burned into his mind forever. Meeting Mana and Allen, Cosimo cruelly murdering Allen out of jealousy, the deaths, the fire, the monsters.

And the red haired man. The man who told him to stay away from Mana.

Red, before he even realised what he had agreed to, became Mana's "Allen". He had always thought that the man had not entirely been right in the head, but Red had hit him rather hard with his left arm in the circus tent before everything went wrong. So when Mana referred to him with his dead dog's name, insisting that he come with him travelling, Red did not know what to do.

He was not Allen. He was an unwanted orphan who did not belong anywhere with anyone. It felt wrong for him to pretend he was the companion Mana cared for so deeply. But Mana kept forgetting his goal; he was looking for his brother. And Red would be able to remind him and keep him walking towards his dream.

So Red became Allen.

But Mana was not the man he had once been. Smiles that did not belong on such a kindly face would suddenly grace his features, chilling Allen's soul. A madness would flicker in his eyes when he became passionate and furtively hopeful about finding his brother, wandering for mile upon mile through snow and dirt to find him.

And Allen followed Mana wherever he went.

"M-Mana, watch out!"

For the fifth time that day, Allen pulled his foster father out of the way of an incoming cart, holding onto the man's jacket tightly with his right hand. Mana blinked, feeling startled as the driver cursed at him as he drove on by, his horse neighing in protest at suddenly being made to turn to the side.

"Oh my," Mana murmured, taking off his hat with gloved fingers. "That cart came out of nowhere!"

Allen said nothing for a few minutes, letting go of Mana's jacket and stepping to the side. He looked up at the darkening sky and hoped that they would be able to rest before sunset.

"Let's go, Mana!"

The young boy's cry made Mana look down, dark eyes focusing on Allen's own. For a few seconds a look of confusion flitted across his features but, as quickly as it came upon him, the man smiled and nodded, turning around and heading down the street once more. Allen followed, pulling his coat tighter around him.

It was nearing December once more, the first flakes of snow falling as Winter came upon England as the days passed. A bitter chill shrouded the town that Mana and Allen had chanced upon, having been walking through empty countryside for many days beforehand. Allen had never been so glad to see the dim lights of houses and homes, buildings and street lamps, concrete and warm beds. Mana occasionally did perfomances to earn them money for food and shelter, though the man would sometimes become confused during one of his acts and lose the attentive crowd he had managed to garner.

Mana's confusion was becoming a regular occurrence, frightening Allen on more than one occasion. Some nights Mana would insist that Allen was really a dog, demanding the young brunette to sit and heel and roll over and perform tricks. Allen could usually bring Mana out of such bizarre moods, but lately it was becoming more and more difficult to bring him back.

Allen was losing the one person who had shown him an ounce of care, and the prospect of being alone once more made his heart clench painfully in his chest with fear.

So, as Allen followed Mana down cold darkening streets, wrapping his arms around himself to retain as much warmth as possible, he hoped that tonight he and Mana could avoid facing anymore confusion and fearful conversations.

"I swore we were down this street before…" Mana muttered to himself, tapping his chin with gloved fingers thoughtfully, eyes narrowed. "Yes, yes, yes, we were here once. I must not stop. No, I must not."

Mana turned and noticed that Allen was many a step behind, panting and looking exhausted. This did not seem to make Mana stop though, so he kept going until he heard a loud thud. Allen had tripped, his sleep-weary eyes drooping so much so he missed a large chipped stone in his path. The boy winced at his cut palms and knees, blinking back tears as he stood up and brushed himself down.

"Don't stop. Keep walking."

Those were the only words Mana spoke before he set off again, darkness fully enshrouding him as he began to walk away. Allen's lip wobbled before he bit down on it, limping slightly as he followed after the man as quickly as he could.

He could not stop. He would be alone if he did.

The inn that Mana chose for that night was barely furnished and not particularly warm, shady people lurking in shady corners as Allen followed Mana upstairs to their room for the night. The room smelt a little of mould, the bedsheets mildewed and slightly damp. The window was open, letting in the bitterly cold air from outside.

Mana shut the window with a slam, carefully resting his tophat on the bedside table before sitting on the bed. It protested beneath his weight, springs creaking loudly. Wincing and crawling in beside Mana, Allen shivered a little under the blankets but felt grateful for the damp sheets nonetheless. Waiting with bated breath, the young boy prayed that he could fall asleep in peace.

And it seemed that Allen's wish was granted, for he soon fell into a deep slumber. It was only when he heard quiet panicked murmers and the sound of someone pacing that he awoke, sitting up sharply.

Mana was walking back and forth, holding his head in his hands, unintelligible words leaving his mouth so fast that Allen had not a clue what the man was saying.

"M-Mana?" he stammered, heart racing. He had not seen him this bad in all the time he had spent with him. "What… What's wrong?"

For a long time Mana continued to ramble, not acknowledging Allen's presence in the slightest. It was only when Allen began to cry quietly that he turned towards the bed.

"You're not Allen!" he cried, eyes wide and full of a dark fire. "Where is my precious Allen? Where is he?"

"I-I'm right here!" Allen replied, blinking back tears. "I'm here, Mana."

A look of pain flashed in Mana's eyes, making him stagger backwards into the wall behind. He looked at Allen and frowned, searching for something in the boy's face that would help clear away the darkness that filled his cluttered mind.

But unlike the nights prior, Allen could not bring Mana back.

"I need to find Allen. I need to find Nea. I need to go!"

Storming out of the door, grabbing his hat as he went, Mana ran out of the inn and stopped once outside, looking left and right to try and decide where to go. Allen followed, stumbling a little as he pelted down the stairs as fast as his little booted feet could carry him.

"Mana, wait!"

The man jumped and turned his head to the side, noticing the crying boy by his side for what seemed like the first time.

"Oh hello there, Allen! I knew you'd come back," Mana stated cheerfully, giving the boy a gentle smile. "We better get moving, my brother's here somewhere."

Those simple words broke Allen's heart, a desolate hopelessness filling his heart like a growing disease. He nodded, eyes blank as he wiped away his tears. He walked beside Mana down cobbled streets, shivering as he stared down at his feet, eyes wide.

It was only when Mana fell that Allen looked up.

"M-Mana!"

Rushing to the man's side, panic consuming him, Allen shook Mana gently.

"Mana? Mana?!"

The man did not say a word, lying face down on the cobbles motionless. Allen shook him again and again, harder and harder as he cried Mana's name. Eventually, when the sick realisation dawned on him that there was no bringing Mana back this time, Allen buried his face in his hands and began to cry.

Don't leave me alone here…

Oh lord this was not very good at all ;u; Guess I really need to get back into writing huh… Well I hoped you enjoyed it, look forward to the next drabble when I have the time to write it. Thanks for reading ~

xrowa-chanx