TITLE; When There Are Not Words
AUTHOR; allyyyyy
SHIP; Drake/Josh
DISCLAIMER; I don't own them, even if I'd really like to.
RATING; PG-13? It isn't explicit but there is definitely slash.
SUMMARY; There is a reason that song doesn't have any words.
WARNINGS; None that I can think of.
WORD COUNT; 977.
AUTHOR'S NOTE; When I started writing the other piece, I had written part of this up but really, I liked each on its own. So this explains the voicemail from Farmer Chords but either could really stand on their own.
The pale moonlight drifted through the windows, washing over two bodies, side by side, a sheet pulled just above their waists. It was late, too late considering there was an illuminated dot on the alarm that warned them of the early hour that would call for activity. Still, neither was even considering drifting off to sleep, neither could bring themselves to allow eyes to close for more than the briefest of seconds. If they did, then it would all be broken. If they did then reality would wrap around them and morning would come and Josh would leave.
Drake had his back pressed against the wall, his guitar resting upon his thigh as his fingers strummed along, manipulating chords and weaving a harmony that filled the silence better than any words could. Josh's head was still resting upon a pillow, eyes watching hands move and feeling the tightness ease in the pit of his stomach.
The next day he would leave. He would go away to a school that was too many miles away to count and he would be all alone. In the cover of night, he had felt his heart tear as the other admitted that he didn't know what to do without Josh. That he had been right when he'd said he'd needed Josh more. That nothing would be the same. And while Josh would never downplay such words, while he could feel a pull to have such things spoken to him with only the moon as a witness, he didn't think they were entirely true.
They couldn't be. Not when those same fears had been screaming in Josh's ear when he'd filled out applications, when acceptance letters had come and when a deposit had been sent across the country, sealing the fate of both of their lives. The truth was that Josh needed Drake as much as he was needed and maybe even more. Who had he been before his entire material world had been settled into a room that was nothing near welcoming? He had been awkward and anxious and so many things that he hated to reflect upon even now. He was still the same only it had changed, morphed into something more. He was the best possible version of himself when he and Drake were together. Trouble flocked behind every half-baked scheme they hatched and still, still he had never felt so alive in his life. That wasn't entirely true either.
In the moments in the dark, when a hand threaded through his hair, when smaller hips rolled into his own, those were the moment he had never felt so alive, those were the moments he had never been more alive, more himself. Drake was still Drake and he always would be. There had come a time when orbit had changed but it was not a one sided deal. As much as Josh held down the center of the universe, Drake did the very same for him. There was scarcely a moment in his day when he did not realize this.
Mornings meant stiff limbs and tentative touches, ones that were born only from uncertainty. When the dark consumed them, it would be easy to pretend that it wasn't the other. But when the sun rose above the horizon and day gripped them, being able to touch and to mouth over morning flesh was the only reassurance that Josh needed.
Nights meant passion and abandon, tangled arms and desperate hands. There was no uncertainty and there was no regret. It was only them in this perfectly crafted world where only they seemed to fit. In the dark Josh truly found himself. In the dark the reservations fled and all that remained was the burning that consumed him, that pushed him, that conquered him. You would not recognize the awkward, goofball in the dark of night. How could you when he was pressing down against Drake's form, when he was catching the begging whimpers of someone who was enjoying this just as much as he was? When the sun went down, Josh's confidence came out and the sounds that drifted through their bedroom, telling him it was right, was the only reassurance that Josh needed.
And as for all the other hours of the day? What were they but the strung out moments that led up to one or the other, nothing more and nothing less. They were the pathway to release and to contentment. They were revered and hated all at once but without them, the others could not exist. So as Josh served popcorn or as Drake attended rehearsal, what was it other than a way to pass the time? It could be nothing other than the introduction into the greatest moment of their lives, only exceeded by the night that would follow.
As the song curled around him and held on tight, the last tones settling the silence once more, Josh considered these things and knew, without a doubt, that it was he that needed Drake more. How could he sleep without a slick body blanketing his own? How could he wake up without being able to press his lips against a patch of freckles that pooled where shoulder met chest?
"I haven't been able to come up with any words yet. Nothing sounds right," Drake offered into the dark, as though he didn't know what Josh was thinking, as if he didn't know that words weren't needed. As if words would change what would soon be happening to both of them.
"There aren't any," Josh assured him. "It's perfect the way it is."
The next night as the sun was dropping in the sky and the silence of their bedroom gripped him, Drake sat upon Josh's bed, stripped of sheets and a reminder, his phone open before him. As the beep sounded, his fingers began to move.