I watch Pretty Little Liars for 3 reasons- 1) who the heck is A? 2) Aria. and 3) I am in love with Ezra Fitz. The most recent episode had some amazing Ezra/Aria stuff, but I kind of wanted to put my own little twist on this.
Of course, it is based loosely off of Please Don't Leave Quite Yet by Adam Agin. Most amazing song I've ever heard- I've had it on repeat for the past week. If you have not purchased it from itunes, go do so immediately. So good.
Anyways, please enjoy! Reviews are always welcome!
Please Don't Leave Quite Yet
"Aria, wait. Please." Ezra, pacing back and forth, outside the conference room at Hollis, pleaded with Aria to wait until he returned.
"Ezra." She sighed, growing impatient. "You were well aware you had this meeting when you asked me to come here."
"I wasn't aware the head of the English department spoke only in paragraphs. Wait. I'm begging you, Aria."
She sighed again, pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. "Why, Ezra? We both know what's going to happen when you get here."
"Babe. This is not over. I swear to God this is not over."
I hope you're right. She thought, as she reluctantly agreed to wait around for Ezra. "Get here as soon as you can. I'll be here."
"I love you, Aria. See you soon."
"Bye," she muttered, hanging up the phone, placing it on his coffee table. She was quickly becoming more and more anxious by the second for Ezra to arrive at the apartment, and she began to pace. She looked at the couch, where so many memories took place. She looked at the top of his bookcase, seeing the paper bags they placed on their heads so that finally, they could take a picture together. She saw the ticket to the art museum on his desk, and remembered that important day in their relationship.
She reminisced, thinking about the bar, about that first kiss, about how she felt when she walked into her AP English class, realizing that the man she was quickly falling for also just so happened to be her teacher. She remembered the feeling in her stomach when she thought she lost him for good. She remembered how she felt when she opened the door to find Jacqui, his ex-fiance and new coworker at Hollis.
Jackie… she thought to herself, and cringed at the thought of her name. Aria had never been one to be jealous, bitter, or resentful, and yet, all she could seem to do lately was dwell on that name. Her face. The way she looked when she talked about Ezra. And the more she thought about it , the angrier she got.
She had never been one to fall head over heels in love with a man and not think twice about it, no matter what the consequences were. Well, maybe she thought more than twice, but that's what happens when you're dating your English teacher who is 7 years senior.
She smiled, picking up an old, tattered book on the desk, clearly marked to Ezra's poem, B26, as well as seeing other random papers strewn about the desk, probably a book or poem he was writing.
She loved this man, there was no doubt about it. She loved how he made her feel, how his smile lit up the room, how he held her close, even just for a moment, and pretended not to care, the way his lips against hers made the world better, and the way he looked at her like there was no one else in this world.
Deep within her being, she knew he loved her just as much. A man who could easily walk away, and probably should even, and has stayed by her side through the good times and the bad. A man who was the most genuine, sensitive, and caring person she had ever met. The one who made her laugh, who held her when she cried, and promised her forever. So why is it that still, she found it so easy to doubt him at the mention of her name?
Her mother always told her that jealousy was not an attractive quality, but when risking losing someone such as Ezra Fitz, this monster called jealousy seemed to rear its ugly head. She loved him, but how could she ever be sure he would feel for her the way he felt for Jacqui? His true first love, the one he was going to spend his life with, the one that he might not ever be able to forget.
Shut up, Aria. He's over her. He said so himself. She tried to talk herself out of these jealous thoughts, and yet, here she was again, tears streaming down her face, sitting in the middle of Ezra Fitz's apartment.
Her phone beeped, as if on cue, and she glanced at it. "Please don't leave. Leaving soon. Love you. –E"
She sighed, throwing her phone beside her once more, picking up his tattered copy of To Kill a Mockingbird on the coffee table, beginning to flip through its old, worn pages.
No matter how many times she read this story, she loved it just as much, if not more, the next time she picked up the text. This is a book she was always able to get lost in; completely immerse herself in the characters and the plot and just…be.
Before she knew it, the door handle started to turn, and the door opened, a very tired and desperate-looking Ezra standing in the doorway.
"Hi." He said, simply.
She stood up, regretting her decision to wear her grey sweat pants and green sweatshirt, her hair thrown up in a ponytail.
"Hi, Ezra. How'd it go?"
"It was fine. Thank you for waiting." He smiled, gratefully.
She looked at him, nodded, and smiled, weakly. They stood in silence for a moment until she looked at the bag in his hand. "What's that?"
"I picked up some dinner for us. I hope that's ok. It's just chicken and lo mein from that new Chinese place down the street."
She nodded. "Thank you, Ezra." She left him in the living room as he got the food out of the bags, and she went to retrieve drinks and eating utensils from the kitchen.
"What do you want to drink, babe?" She called. Shoot. We're fighting. Maybe breaking up. Why did I call him that?
"Diet. Thanks." He called back, seeming to either miss, or just, ignored the last part of what she just said.
She sighed, picking up the plates, forks, and drinks from the kitchen, walking back into the living room, where Ezra was now wearing his black sweatpants and a white t-shirt.
She set everything on the coffee table, sitting next to Ezra on the couch as he handed her a plate.
"Thank you." She said quietly, beginning to eat. They continued to eat in silence, and quite frankly, she did not want to disturb their dinner by screaming at Ezra. This wasn't a comfortable silence though. This was as quiet as they had ever been with each other. Normally, they had so much to say, since this was one of the few times they could speak openly without interference.
Once they had both finished, she gathered the dishes and trash, disposing of them, then returned to sit on the couch next to Ezra.
"What are we doing, Ezra? This is ridiculous."
He nodded. "I know. I don't understand how this got so out of hand."
"You told me you were in love with Jacqui when you met me." She said, as if to state the obvious.
He sighed. "I cannot win. Aria, you asked me to be honest with you. Remember that?"
She gasped a little bit.
"What? Did I say something that was incorrect, Aria?"
"This is the first time you've ever gotten snippy with me." She said, slightly shocked.
"Well, maybe that's because I'm frustrated with you." He said.
"Who's being honest now…" She muttered under her breath.
"And what about you, Aria? There have been other guys in your life since we've been together. We've never not been together since we met, and you've seen other guys."
"Ezra…you know that's different. We're not together. And they're my age." She said, thinking about her brief fling with Noel Kahn when Ezra left.
"So what? Jacqui and I aren't together. And she's my age. What's the difference?"
Aria sighed, standing up and pacing around the room.
"You don't get it, do you?" she asked, crossing her arms across her chest.
He shook his head, laughing. "Well, apparently, I don't, Aria."
"You took a job. At Hollis. And Jacqui is there…do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"
He stood up, walking towards her. She turned his bad to him and he sighed. "Aria…we were together a long time ago. She broke up with me. It took you to make me realize that I am better off without her. It took you to make me realize that I belong with you, Aria. We have the odds stacked against us. And yes, I am your teacher, and yes, things would not be as complicated if I was not in love with you. But Aria, I am in love with you. You have to believe that after all we've been through and after all I've risked for you…Aria…I literally put my career and livelihood on the line every day to be with you. Doesn't that matter at ALL to you?"
"Ezra…I don't know what to do anymore. I love you. But who's to say that when you leave and go to Hollis that you won't fall for her all over again?"
He put his hands firmly on her shoulders, turning her around to face him. "I know you're scared. I'm scared too, Aria. But I'm doing this for us. For you. I want to be with you. I want to start my life with you. I want you to finish high school without worrying about covering us up every day. I want us to be together legally. I want you to get accepted into an amazing school, and start your career in English." He lowered his voice. "I want to marry you, Aria Montgomery. I want to spend forever with you. I want to move somewhere far from Rosewood with you, and we can both find jobs doing what we love." He paused, taking her hands into his. "I want to have babies with you. Aria, you are going to be such a good mom…and I want to be the father of your children someday. But in order for any of this to happen…in order for these dreams for us to come true, I cannot stay at the high school. I just can't. It's too much to risk."
She bit her lip, looking into Ezra's eyes, both sets welling with tears. This is the first time she had ever seen him cry.
"I refuse to lose you, Aria. So I'll leave. I'll start at Hollis. I'll wait a couple months to ask you out…make up some story about how we decided to keep in touch after I left, and really connected. I don't care. I'll do what it takes. All I want is to be with you, Aria." He wiped a tear from her cheek, then tucked her hair behind her ears to keep it from covering her face.
"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm pouring out my heart here. I need you to say something. I'm begging you, Aria." He pleaded, the desperation clear in his expression.
She sighed, looking at her feet, then back at him. She shook her head. "I just need some time, Ezra. I'm sorry."
And with that, she picked her green sweatshirt up off the couch, pulled it over her head, grabbed her keys, lightly kissed Ezra on the cheek, and walked out.
She didn't remember what happened between then and here. Driving home was a blur. She apparently cried herself to sleep, because here she was, at 6:30am, looking into her mirror, eyes all red and puffy. It was Ezra's last day today. She considered staying home multiple times. It was a continuous battle with herself. She knew she needed to forgive him, and that he was doing what he was for them.
She quickly dressed, leaving for school, hoping to get there in time to speak with Ezra before school started. But to her dismay, was later than expected, and arrived right as the homeroom bell rang.
She spent all morning thinking of what she needed to say to Ezra, and decided after English class, that she would talk with him. She had no other choice.
She sat in her usual desk, right in Ezra's line of vision as class began. She looked around the room, boxes everywhere containing the contents of his classroom, and one cup of pencils and a present lay on his desk. 'Goodbye Mr. Fitz' was written in solid, white letters on the chalkboard, and he smiled as he entered the room, carrying his messenger bag and a cup of coffee.
"Hello, class." He smiled, looking at the chalkboard, and then around the room.
Scattered "good-mornings" were uttered by the class. He sat on the edge of the desk. One of the students at the front of the class rose, picking up the present on the desk, and handing it directly to Mr. Fitz.
"Thank you for all you've done for us." She whispered, sitting back down. He smiled, looked around the room, until eyes locked with Aria. She smiled, and looked down awkwardly. Her friends noticed, all looking at Aria, smiling weakly to encourage her for what they knew was coming, the inevitable goodbye speech.
He opened the present, expressing his gratitude. "I wasn't expecting this. To be honest, most of what's happened to me here, I didn't expect. I didn't expect to connect with you the way that I have. I never expected to feel this kind of loss over leaving you." He paused, locking eyes with Aria once more, looked down at the ground and then back up at the class. He continued. "I'm not going to forget you. I will remember your voices, your questions, your faces…I cherish the time that I spent here and I'm more grateful than I even know how to say. There's a quote by Joseph Campbell that goes 'You must give up the life you had planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you. I thought I knew what that meant. I didn't…till I met you."
The bell rang for the last time in Ezra Fitz's English class.
"There it is. Have a good life…always read!" The students laughed, all shaking hands with Ezra, wishing him luck. Aria sat at the back of the room, watching the scene unfold before her. Every word he said was meant for her.
You must give up the life you had planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you. He was giving up a job he loved, teaching at Rosewood, to be with her and teach at Hollis. She couldn't bear to stay there and watch him leave, so she ran. And as she walked out of the room, she turned one last time to look at Ezra, who, to her surprise, was looking right back at her.
After all the students had left the room, he stood in his empty classroom, surrounded by boxes from the past few months. And for the first time since he and Aria began fighting, he allowed himself to just sit at his desk and cry. Cry because he would miss her, because he didn't know what would happen, and because he loved her so much that it literally hurt. After taking all but one box to his car, he composed himself, mentally saying goodbye to his classroom one last time, then turned off the light and shut the door behind him.
Aria did not know how long she had been in the cafeteria. She remembered going after Ezra's class, and now, she was looking around, and everyone had left. She glanced at her watch, noticing it was 3:00. The school day had ended, and everyone would be gone.
She prayed the entire way down the hallway that by some miracle, he would still be there. She ran as quickly as she could down the hallways of Rosewood High, walking into that classroom that shared so many memories. Much to her dismay, all of the boxes, as well as Ezra were gone. She sighed, sitting at his desk, beginning to cry again. She pulled out her cell phone and simply texted 'I love you' to Ezra. Within five minutes, she had a response. 'Always and forever. –E'
As if on cue, the sun broke through the clouds at that moment. She looked out the window, seeing a very familiar silhouette in the parking lot, loading up his car. She wiped her tears, laughing, as she left her bag in Ezra's room, and sprinted to the parking lot.
He was lifting up a box when she called out "Ezra!"
He turned, seeing her running towards him. He dropped the box on the ground, opened his arms. She leapt into him, and his strong arms enveloped her small frame. He lifted her off of the ground, holding the small of her back with his right hand as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He tilted up her chin with his left hand, uniting her lips with his.
They stayed in that position for quite some time. Not caring about the time, place, or the circumstances. They were together. And that's all that mattered.
"I love you, Ezra."
"I love you, Aria."
"I'm so sorry. I couldn't watch you leave." She said between kisses. "I'm sorry about everything. About the way I reacted. About everything. I don't want to lose you…now or ever. I want to be with you forever, Ezra. To get married, have babies, and grow old together and everything else you promised. Ezra….please…"
"Aria…I will make this better. I swear." He shook his head profusely, continuing to kiss her.
She smiled, laughing. "You did nothing wrong . I'm just the stupid girl that overreacted at the slightest possibility of losing you. I love you." She repeated.
He grinned. "I was hoping you'd say that." He kissed her once more, picking her up and spinning her around. She laughed, and he placed her back on the ground. He picked up the last box, placing it in his trunk. He took her hand in his.
"Let's go celebrate." And with that, Aria, got into Ezra's car, and they drove away from Rosewood High together for the last time.
And oh, I want it to get better
I swear I'll work to make it better
So please don't leave quite yet