Link is angry for a reason, people! Don't stop at the first chapter. He chills out as time goes on. -_- READ THE REST. IT GETS BETTER.
I just need some time to think. It's been a hell of a time protecting The Surface from evil. Not one damn night passed without me being worried sick. I was worried that I wouldn't succeed, worried that something terrible should befall Zelda, but most of all... worried that my enemy would assault me in the worst possible way. He gave me a good scare, but his words rang true.
But instead of scurrying away like any creature with a basic instinct to survive, you just kept coming back.
No. It was he who kept coming back. Not I. That tool was hell-bent on fucking up my life. It was the last straw when he pulled a double-card and swept her away through the Time Gate. I wanted to destroy him. Give him a taste of his own medicine and beat him to a bloody pulp. I'm still not satisfied, and I know just the man, err, dragon to help.
The Timeshift Stone provides an oasis in the desert, but without the oasis. There's no water whatsoever here, and boy am I thirsty already. It's not completely useless; it's the only thing keeping the Thunder Dragon alive. What gives? Dragons aren't supposed to die. But somebody else is about to, and I've got something special planned. What could go wrong?
"If it isn't the hero himself! LD-Link-16! What brings you here, my boy?"
"Don't call me that. I'm not a fucking robot like that Scrapper son-of-a-bitch."
"Scrapper? Huh. I don't know any creation of mine that uses that handle."
"He's an asinine little prick that would transport items too heavy for me to carry."
"Good heavens, Link! What's got you so fired up? I've never heard this kind of language from our green-clad youth."
"Yeah, you haven't heard shit, have you? FUCK!"
"Just calm down enough to tell me what you need."
"Oh, many things. You can start by bringing Ghirahim to me."
"You don't have your sword, though. Have you gone mad? He'll tear you to shreds."
"I'm mad all right, which is why my request is a bit different this time."
"I don't know if I like the sound of this."
"Bring him here. As in, Lanayru Gorge."
The old behemoth's jaw drops. "Have you forgotten? This isn't the real Ghirahim. It's a memory, and as such not suited to environments where there are conflicting energies. The hazards of-"
"Do it. Make him weaponless."
"Well... Okay."
One clap from Old Thunder and the demonspawn is standing before me. Thunder has something to say.
"Be forewarned that if Synthetic-him dies, as you like to call this clone, and what a brilliant choice in names! Hylia knows that you've always been a wit above the rest!"
My heart skips a beat and I blink a few times. "Please get back to what you were saying about Ghirahim dying."
"Ahem. If this one dies, that's it. Gone forever. You see, by asking me to pull him out of his safe environment and into reality, I must abide by the laws of nature. Before, there was no need for working bodily functions. I charmed his every action. But now... Now you've forced me to implement a rather crude respiratory system, among other things."
"I see."
With literally no time to think after getting those two words out, Ghirahim's doppelganger starts choking.