DISCLAIMER: We DO not OWN any of the chars from AIW. They belong to Disney. I do however own Alicen Sierra Kimberly Miller and her little sister, Samantha. If anyone would like to use them, please ask me first.
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Enjoy!
A/N: This is another story idea we came up with. I hope everyone likes it!
"Alice's Emergency"
"So, are you and Pinniped glad you moved to Wondaland?" Alice asked as she walked along side her two friends as they entered the Wonderland woods.
"Yes. We're quite glad. The Queen throws the best parties. Besides, the Hatter's tea parties are lovely as well. And I know we've said it a lot, but we can't thank you enough for the warm welcome you gave us."
"It was no problem." Alice replied. "It was only fair since I got a warm welcome from the Tweedles and the Hatter and Hare the first time I came."
"I'm guessing the Queen wasn't ready for someone like you in her palace."
"Not ready is an undastatment." Alice agreed. "You should have seen how she reacted when she first discovered me hiding underneath her throne. You would think I was committing a crime."
"You weren't causing any harm. It's not like you were sitting on it without her permission."
"That was six years later." Alice told him.
"I'm sorry. I don't' think we ever heard this story before."
"Well, how much time do ya have?"
The Walrus smiled at her good naturedly.
"For you, my dear. We have all the time in the world."
Alice grinned.
"Thanks." She glanced around to see where they were.
Recognizing the spot, she indicated a bench that she often sat on when she came here. It was also this very spot where she had discovered graffiti a few months ago.
Motioning for the Walrus and Pinniped to join her, Alice sat down first.
"Well, it all started when Mom planned a weekend away at the Wondaland spa and resort."
"I would think she had a spa in the palace." The Walrus said. He gazed to his right before nodding. "I don't know, Pinniped. I'll ask her."
"What's up?" Alice asked. "I didn't' quite catch that."
"It's quite all right my dear." He said. "Pinniped does have a problem with speaking up. He asked if her Majesty has a hot tub."
"I think she does in her bathroom." Alice replied. "I've never been in it."
"Isn't it true that the Hatter tried to wrangle an invitation to use it?"
Alice giggled.
"You could say that. But Mom wouldn't budge. Something about an unpaid water bill."
The Walrus nodded.
"Go on, my dear. " He said. "You were in the middle of a fabulous tale if I do say so myself."
Alice grinned slyly.
"Better than Mr. Caterpillar's?"
"We shall see." He said. "We shall see."
"Okay. So where was I? Oh yeah, Mom was leaving for a weekend. She didn't' have anyone to rule in her place. Mr. Rabbit couldn't do it because he had to make sure things were in order at home. So the Queen made everyone pick a numba out of a hat. I got the closest answer, so she declared me Queen for the weekend."
"I wish we could have been here to see that."
"Um, I don't know if you would feel that way if you guys had been here."
"Why do you say that?"
"Let's just say I learned that ruling a land for a weekend is not all tea and crumpets."
"Interesting choice of words. Did everyone give you problems?"
"Kind of. They thought because Mom wasn't here, I would let them get away with stuff. But nobody gave me as much trouble as the Cat."
"You rang, Alice?" The Cheshire Cat appeared before them. "Hey Pinniped! What's up? Oh really? Sure, I'd love to play hide and seek with you sometime. I gotta check my schedule though. I have bad mitten tournaments coming up."
"What are you doing here?" Alice asked.
"Pardon me for saying so, but it seems you forgotten the most important part of the story."
"And that would be…?"
"How I saved your tail."
Alice rolled her eyes.
"I don't know what version you rememba. But from what I rememba, you gave me a royal headache."
"Aww, you sound like your mother. And here I thought you loved me."
"Love is such as strong word. Tolerate is the word I would use."
As the Cheshire Cat disappeared a few minutes later, Alice noticed he had dropped something.
Bending down to pick it up, she sucked in a breath as a sharp pain went through her stomach.
Sitting upright once again, she tried to act like nothing was wrong.
"Alice, are you all right?" The Walrus asked. He had noticed something right away.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I probably bent down too quickly."
The Walrus shrugged, even though he had a feeling there was more to it than that.
"Why don't we head back to the palace so you can rest." He suggested in concern.
"I'm fine." Alice insisted. "Really. We can keep going if you want to. Besides, it's good exercise."
"While that maybe so," he agreed, "I think we should be heading back."
"If you say so."
"Pinniped does as well. Then again, he's just hungry for dinner."
Arriving back at the palace, Alice and Walrus, along with Pinniped were greeted by the sounds of the Queen shouting at someone.
"I wonda what MR. Rabbit did now." Alice said aloud.
The Walrus shrugged.
"I think it would be best if we went to the dining room and sat down. That way we'll be out of the Queen's hair."
"Something tells me something already got in her hair."
Just then, the Queen came in. She glared at Alice when she saw her daughter standing there.
"Hey You're Majesty!" Alice said warmly.
"Don't you hey You're Majesty me."
"Okay. Hey Mom. What's up?"
"Oh hurrumph. You need to teach your cat not to steal from me."
"What do you mean?" Alice asked. Truthfully confused by her mother's statement.
"What I mean is, I was sitting in the courtyard, enjoying a Ginger Ale, when your feline decided to partake in it."
Alice almost giggled, but stopped at the look on her mother's face.
"I told you so."
"What?"
"I told you so." Alice repeated.
"If we may interject." The Walrus said on Alice's behalf. "We believe Alice warned you before hand."
"Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?" The Queen demanded. She then realized the Walrus was there. "Hello, Walrus. Would you like to stay for dinner?"
"We would be delighted to, You're Majesty."
"Oh yes. Of course. Pinniped is welcomed too."
"He appreciates it."
The Queen nodded.
"So am I grounded?" Alice asked.
"No. Of course not. As for Dinah, if she steals one more soda from me, she'll be in the dog house."
"Dog house? Now that's one place I avoid at all costs." The Cheshire Cat said as he appeared once more.
"I wish you would avoid this palace at all costs." The Queen retorted.
"And miss an opportunity to ruffle your royal feathers? Never. Besides, Alice invited me."
The young pre-teen whirled around and glared at him.
"I did not! I promise you, You're Majesty, I had nothing to do with this."
The Queen nodded.
"I believe you. Now would you be so kind as to go and help Rabbit set the table?"
"Sure. You wanna help too, Pinniped?"
"He'd love to." The Walrus replied. "I'll be right in to join you. I need to ask her Majesty something."
Alice nodded. She had a feeling it had to do with a certain hot tub.
Stopping in the kitchen to say hi to Rabbit and assure him she would help prepare dinner, she left to put her hiking stuff away.
Getting to her room, she wasn't' surprised to see Dinah underneath her bed.
"There you are. You know the fur's really gonna fly if you keep stealing Mom's soda. Don't look at me like that. I've told you a million times, soda is not for cats. I don't care if it was diet. Besides, you don't' need to lose weight. You're a picture of fitness perfection."
Dinah meowed before coming out of her hiding place. She rubbed up against Alice's legs before running out of the room. She cautiously made her way into the throne room and wound her way around the Walrus's feet.
The Walrus picked her up and stroked her fur.
"I'm sorry, Pinniped, but you know the rules about pets. Especially after the goldfish incident. I know you didn't mean to mix them up. But honestly, you would think they were invisible or something. We put the red and blue nail polish on them for a reason."
Just then, there was a crash in the kitchen.
The Queen was about to yell at Rabbit, but stopped when she heard Rabbit ask, "Alice, are you okay?"
The Queen rushed into the kitchen with the Walrus close behind.
When they got there, they found Rabbit in one piece and two plates in pieces on the floor.
"What in Wonderland happen here?" The Queen demanded.
"Well, you see, You're Majesty, we were…that is…" Rabbit began.
"Actually, it was my fault." Alice confessed. "I was getting a few dishes down and they slipped out of my hand when I fell."
The Queen nodded. She gave Alice a concerned look before glaring at Rabbit.
"Didn't I tell you to wax the floor yesterday?"
"Yes you did. But we ran out of floor wax and…"
"Oh never mind. Let's just get dinner on the table before we have anymore disasters."
As they were about to sit down, the palace door opened and closed four times.
"Hey ya'll!" Dee called as he came into the dining room, followed by his brother. "Oh I see we're just in time."
"Just in time for what?" The Queen asked.
"For dinner." Hatter answered. "Don't' mind if I do. Alice, you mind if I sit next to you?"
"No. But I think…"
"Great!" With that, he made himself comfortable.
As Hare did so across from him on Dee's left and Dum's right, the Queen sighed. She had a feeling that telling them all to eat dinner somewhere else was a lost cause.
"Do you ever ask before barging in?" The Queen asked, turning to Hatter.
"We tried to. But your answering machine is busted." Hatter replied. "You should really let me take a look at that."
"I rather you didn't." She replied.
"Aw, come on, You're Majesty." Dum chimed in. "Live a little."
"Since when are you a fan of the Hatter's repair work?"
Dum grinned.
"Since last week. He fixed my CD player and now instead of skipping every other song, they play them in different languages. It really puts a new spin on the phrase we all speak the same language."
Alice giggled at him.
Just then, Rabbit brought the food out.
As was customary in Wonderland, the Queen was served first.
As Rabbit went to serve Alice, she only took one slice of garlic bread, a little salad and a little pasta with no meatballs.
"Did Pinniped cook this?" Dee asked.
"No. I'm afraid he hasn't gotten the hang of Italian cooking yet." The Walrus replied. "Why do you ask?"
Dee shrugged
"No reason. Except for the fact that Alie hardly turns down the Queen's Italian meals. What's up with that, sis?"
Alice shrugged.
"Nothing. I guess I'm just not that hungry. I guess the hike Mr. Walrus and I took made me tired."
Dee exchanged a look with his brother. They both knew Alice was lying.
"Surely it couldn't have exhausted you that much. We didn't go very far."
Alice narrowed her eyes at him, getting her point across fairly quickly.
"Rabbit, did you over cook this?" The Queen asked in more of an accusatory tone than merely just asking him.
Rabbit shook his head.
"Not at all, You're Majesty. It was cooked with you in mind. To Queenly perfection."
"If that's so, then why is my daughter turning it down?"
"I don't know. Why don't you ask her?" Rabbit suggested hesitantly.
The Queen turned her gaze upon the twelve-year-old sitting across from her.
"I'm fine. Like I said before, I'm just tired."
"Then maybe you should go rest." The Queen suggested.
Alice nodded and took her mother up on the offer. She bade her friends good bye and left the room.
The Walrus looked after her in concern as did the Hatter.
The Tweedles just looked confused.
Alice sighed as she lay in bed a few minutes later. She could still hear her family talking out in the dining room. A part of her really wanted to be out there with them, but another part was ready for bed.
As she lay there, someone knocked on her door. It was a good thing she hadn't changed out of her clothes yet.
"Come in." Alice said to whoever was on the other side.
The door opened to reveal Hatter standing there.
He gave Alice a smile as he sat down in her computer desk chair.
"So, what's the real reason you skipped out on dinner?"
"Like I told Mom, I'm just tired. Besides, the pasta was a little over cooked."
Hatter nodded. He got a thoughtful look on his face just then.
"That's one thing you and my Uncle Fester don't have in common."
"Uncle Fester? You actually have an Uncle Fester?"
"Doesn't everybody?"
"No." Alice replied. "Mr. Hatta, do you even know who he is?"
"Now that's a silly question. He's my uncle."
"I mean where the name was first heard of?"
"No."
"I'll tell you some other time. Anyway, what about your Uncle Fester?"
"He would eat pasta any way, shape or form."
Alice nodded. She grimaced as another surge of pain made its way around her stomach.
"Want me to change the subject?" He asked.
"No. It's fine. But before you leave, I have something for you."
"You do?"
"Yeah. See that blue DVD case on my book shelf near my copy of Disney's Little Mermaid trilogy?"
"Yeah."
"Take it home and watch it. It'll give you the answer you're looking for."
"Okay. Let's see what we got." With that, he stood up and walked over to Alice's book shelf.
Taking the appropriate case, he scanned it before walking back over to Alice's bed.
"Hmmm. I never knew they made a TV Series about JQ's family."
Alice couldn't help it. She burst out laughing. Unfortunately, her stomach had other plans.
She stopped mid giggle and sucked in another breath as more pain came.
"Are you sure you're all right?" He asked.
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"Okay. I'm gonna let you get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay?"
"Uh-huh. Night, Mr. Hatta."
"Night." With that, he was gone.
Alice heard him mumble something about who would name their daughter Wednesday and not Friday as he closed her door.
Walking into the dining room, Hatter was met by an expectant look from her Majesty.
"She just needs rest." He told her. "And a DVD consultant."
The Queen ignored his last comment. She knew her daughter wasn't into bad movies, so she had no reason to suspect otherwise.
"I'm gonna head home now." Hatter told her. "I'm working on a new invention."
"Oh please, let me be on vacation the day you try it out."
"Why would you say that? I was hoping you'd be the first one to try it. After all, it is one fit for a Queen."
"Fit for a Queen you say?" The Queen asked.
"Yes indeedy doo."
"Well, in that case, I'll see if Sophie's mother wants to give it a try."
"Aw, but You're Majesty, I made this especially with you in mind."
"Stop trying to butter me up." The Queen demanded.
"Now why would I do that?" Hatter asked.
"Oh please, don't make me answer that."
Later that night, Alice awoke with a start. She listened to see if it had been a noise outside that had jerked her awake from the dream she had been having.
As the pre-teen listened, all she could hear were the crickets and some owls in the distance.
It only took her a few minutes to realize what had woken her.
She gritted her teeth as more pain shot through her stomach.
"What in Wondaland is going on?" She asked nobody in particular.
Dinah meowed from right beside her before closing her eyes and going back to sleep.
Thinking medicine would do the trick, she popped a few tums in her mouth. They tasted like cherry and grape.
Dinah sniffed the air and tried to get at the bottle.
"Dinah, these aren't for you." She told her. "You have your own treats."
Dinah jumped off the bed and went over to her bed.
She pushed a button on
the side and was rewarded with two treats coming out of the
dispenser.
"Mr. Hatter really worked hard on that. I'm
surprised it works."
Dinah meowed indignantly as if sticking up for him.
"Well, maybe you're right. After all, you've had that bed since I was nine-years-old and it still works. Now, what do you say we both get some more sleep?"
Dinah curled up in response and hugged the red fuzzy blanket she had knicked from the Queen.
Fortunately, after Dinah had successfully marked it as her own by shedding on it, the Queen had more than willingly gave it over to her.
"You really like that blanket, huh?" Alice surmised. "You look so cute like that. I wish I had more film in my camera."
Dinah rolled over before poking her head out of the top of the blanket.
"Okay. I gotta get a shot of this." With that, Alice got out of bed gingerly and walked over to her dresser.
Picking up the camera the Tweedles had bought her for her eleventh birthday, she made sure it was on before turning it upon her furry feline.
The cool thing about this camera was it hardly ran out of film. When it did, you refilled it by putting a card the size of a quarter into it and it was set for another six months.
"Now say cheese."
Dinah meowed.
"Okay, okay. Salmon then."
Dinah actually struck a pose as Alice clicked the camera.
"Perfect." Alice approved. "Now, all we have to do is send this into Wonderland's Poseable Pets and we'll have you rolling in catnip in no time. Okay. Now, we get some sleep."
As Alice put the camera away, a voice stopped her.
"Hey, don't put that camera away just yet. Besides, you haven't filmed me yet."
"Sorry, Mr. Cat. But the camera needs a rest. And so do I."
"Aw, come on, Alice. Just one shot? Pretty please?"
Dinah meowed in the cat's defense.
"Don't you start ganging up on me now."
"It'll be a good picture for my license."
"A license for what? Mom would never let you drive her new car. Although Mr. Hatter built it, so there's a good chance she won't be driving it either."
"The Queen got some new wheels?"
"Yup. When I turn sixteen, it's all mine."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Pretty sure. Besides, it's not like I ask Mom for much. I hardly ever even complain. Also, something tells me my brothers are gonna give her driving lessons and she'll want out of that thing before she gets two feet."
"Why don't you teach her?"
"Uh, I can't drive until I'm sixteen. That's the law."
"Maybe where you come from. But here, that doesn't exist."
"Still. I'm waiting. So back to you. Why do you need a license?"
"Every cat needs a purrfect record. You know? No flaws with claws? Purrfect fur. And that includes a perfect license."
"Okay. One picture. Then you scat."
"Kitty's honor."
"Okay. Smile."
"For you, Alice. Anything."
Snapping the picture, Alice set the camera down.
"There. Now, is it okay with you if I get some sleep?"
"Sure. Adios!" With that, he left.
As the cat disappeared, he decided to stay put. He had a feeling Alice would need his help sooner or later, even if she didn't know it.
A few hours later, Dinah awoke to find the Cheshire Cat floating above her.
She meowed, but stopped when the Cat shook his head.
"No, no. None of that now. I'm here to lend a helping paw."
Dinah gave him a suspicious look.
Just then, Alice whimpered in her sleep, but didn't wake up.
The next morning, Alice awoke to the sound of the Queen yelling at Rabbit and the sun streaming into her window.
Just then, her alarm clock went off.
Meow! Meow!
Dinah jerked awake and hissed.
"Dinah, it's okay. It's just the alarm clock. Don't worry. You're the only cat in my life."
"Aw, that hurt."
Alice groaned.
"Don't cats sleep during the day?"
"That's an old wive's tail. We prefer the day life."
"Okay. What are you doing here? I'm not retaking your picture. Besides, I need the camera. The Tweedles and I are going bird watching again."
"Wouldn't you rather watch me?"
"Yeah. I'd like to watch you disappear." Alice replied.
"I'm always happy to please."
"I'd like to watch you disappear." Alice retorted pointedly.
"I get the hint. Sianara!" With that, he left.
Alice sighed as she laid back down. For some reason, she didn't' feel much like getting up.
It was then that she remembered what she had promised Hatter she would do.
Heaving a sigh, Alice forced herself to get out of bed and get dressed.
Dinah eyed her in concern.
"Don't worry." She said. "I'm only going over to Mr. Hatter's for awhile. I'll be fine. Besides, maybe some tea will help."
Dinah meowed as though she didn't believe her for a second before going back to her little catnap.
Just then, the cat door underneath Alice's door opened and Pumpkin sauntered in.
"Morning, cutie." Alice greeted the orange ball of fur. "Did you sleep with Mom again?"
Pumpkin meowed as though to answer her question.
"I know. She's not very good at sharing the covers."
Pumpkin jumped up on Alice's bed and curled up on her pillow and made herself comfortable.
"Okay." Hatter said as he surveyed the boxes scattered throughout the room. "The Queen wants all of this organized before the chocolate contest cook off."
"Something tells me the Tweedles are going all out for this." Alice informed her friend.
"What makes you say that?" Hatter asked.
Alice rolled her eyes.
"Uh, because Dee told me they have a really good secret recipe they're gonna use."
"Well, they may have their secrets," Hatter told her. "But they haven't seen my newest invention yet."
"I saw the aftermath of your newest invention. It was all over my sister."
"I didn't think it was that bad." Hatter commented. "At least it smelled good. Maybe I should invest in body lotion."
"Okay. So I guess we should get organizing. Where's your magic marker?"
"Magic marker?" Hatter asked. "I don't have one."
"Okay. Then I guess it's time for plan B."
"I didn't even know we had a plan A."
Just then, they were joined by the Walrus and Pinniped.
"Are we too late?" He asked.
"Not at all. The tea party hasn't' even started yet." Hatter replied.
"Uh, Mr. Hatter, they meant are they too late to help clean." Alice informed him.
"Then why didn't you just say so in the first place?" He asked.
Alice was about to retort, when she bent down to pick up a box that had fallen over.
"Wow! I wonda what's in…." She stopped cold as more pain shot up her stomach.
The box fell back to the ground and sprung open.
Dozens of different colored fake ants came marching out.
Far from being afraid of them, the Walrus turned his attention to Alice.
Pinniped had gone to look through another box labeled invisible ink.
"Oh I was wondering where those little guys went off to." Hatter mused.
Alice, meanwhile, had staggered to her feet and was trying to act like nothing had happened.
"I found the markers." She said. "They were stuck in a box labeled Halloween candy."
Hatter nodded.
"What a Halloween that was."
"Where was I?" She asked.
"It was right before you came here." Hatter told her. "And we've never had a Halloween quite like it since."
"I love you guys too." Alice told them with a rye smile. "So what's with the markers anyway? Did you use them to make costumes?"
"What would make you think that?" Hatter asked.
"UH, because they're in a box with face paint."
"Oh no, no, no, no!" Hare exclaimed in realization. "That's not face paint. That's food coloring."
"Okay. Now I gotta hear about this. What did you two do?"
"You make it sound like we committed a crime. But in actuality, we were trying to create our own candy."
"What kind?"
"Every kind you could think of!" The two friends said in unison.
"Every color of the rainbow too." Hare explained. "That's what the food coloring is for."
"Then why would you have magic markers in there?"
"Well, how else do you expect us to decorate the candy?" Hatter said.
Alice almost giggled, but stopped. She could tell they were serious.
"Uh, no." She said. "Okay. First of all, never go into the culinary business. Secondly, you don't use magic markers to decorate food."
"Well they're non toxic." Hatter pointed out.
"And they're washable." Hare concluded. "If they didn't' like the designs, they could just throw the candy in the sink and wash it off. There. No more problem."
Alice shook her head.
"Let me try and explain this to you guys." With that, she reached for a cup and poured herself some tea. She had a feeling this was going to take awhile.
"Pardon us for asking," the Walrus said as he entered the room again. "But how much would you want for this box of invisible ink?"
Hatter looked over at it before waving his hand dismissively.
"You can have it for free." He said. "Besides, I know Pinniped will get better use out of it than we did."
The Walrus nodded.
"What did we miss?" He asked.
"I was just trying to explain to these two why you don't use magic markers to decorate candy and that washable means if you get them on yourself, they'll wash out of clothes."
"Oh my yes. Why would you use them for anything else?"
Just then, the phone rang.
"Hello?" Hatter asked as he answered it.. "Oh, hey You're Majesty. What's up?"
"Nothing. Is Alice with you?"
"Yeah. Why wouldn't she be?"
"Never mind that. Put her on."
"Pushy." Hatter said.
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing, nothing. Hold on. Let me get her."
"What does Mom want?" Alice asked as Hatter handed her the phone.
"I don't know. But she doesn't' sound happy."
"Thanks." Alice said dryly. With that, she braced herself for the royal storm she knew was to come. "Hello? Mom, what's up?"
"Hello. I just wanted to let you know that you'll be staying at the Hatter's tonight."
"Why?" Alice asked. "What did Mr. Rabbit bust now?"
"Fortunately, nothing. Are you all right?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. It's just we did a lot of organizing for the chocolate contest Cooke off tomorrow."
"Excellent."
"Yeah. Easy for you to say."
"Anyway, anyway, anyway. To answer your question. I have to go and see my mother."
"Is she all right?"
"Oh yes she's fine. Nothing's broken. She just sprained her ankle while cleaning the attic. I told her to wait and I would send Rabbit. But does she ever listen?"
"Talk about the teapot calling the kettle black." Alice said just low enough for her mother not to hear.
Unfortunately, Hatter did and he chuckled.
"What's so funny?"
"Uh, a joke Pinniped just told the Walrus."
"Anyway. I'll be back tomorrow. Make sure you behave yourself."
"Yes, You're Majesty. Be careful."
"Oh I'll be fine. "I'm more worried about Rabbit here alone."
"Oh I'm sure Mr. Rabbit will be fine."
"That's not what I meant."
"It isn't?"
"No. What I meant was, I'm worried about how much damage he'll do while I'm not here."
"I think you should be more worried about the damage Pumpkin will cause. She's just a kitten."
"She'll be in her carrier till I get back. Dinah's the only cat I Let Rome free in this palace."
"I'm sure she appreciates that."
Just then, the tea kettle started to whistle.
"Mom, I have to go. We still have a few more boxes to go through. I'll see you tomorrow. Night."
"Wait a minute. I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"Do you have any idea what the Tweedles are planning for the contest?"
"No. I can honestly say I don't."
"Are you sure?"
""I'm positive." Alice replied.
"All right. I have to go myself. I need to make sure Rabbit packed my suitcase correctly."
"Yeah." Alice quipped. "You wouldn't want to get there and find out you left your fuzzy bunny slippers behind."
"What?"
"I'll see you tomorrow. Have a nice trip. I love you! Bye!" With that, Alice hung up.
"I didn't even know the Queen owned fuzzy bunny slippers." Hare said as he walked into the room with a box in his hand. "Are they pink or purple?"
"Uh, no. They're red. But they do have whiskers on them."
"And ears too?" Hare asked.
"Yup. And a pink nose on the tip."
"Do you think you could get us a picture of them?"
"No way! She never wears them during the day. Besides, I wanna live."
"Aw, Alice, please?"
"I can try." Alice told him. "But you owe me for this."
"How much do you want?" He asked.
"Just add it to the list." Alice told him.
Just then, the Dormouse popped out of his teapot.
"I have a pair of fuzzy mice slippers. Here, have a look."
Alice giggled despite herself. They were rather cute.
"Aren't you gonna take a picture?"
"I will next time. I don't have my camera with me."
"Wait a minute." Hatter spoke up. "You brought your cell phone with you, didn't you?"
"Yeah. I always do."
"Doesn't that have a camera on it?"
"Yeah. But it's not as good as the one the Tweedles got me."
"Whose up for Chinese?" Hare asked.
"I'll get the menu." Alice replied. "Where is it?"
Hatter grinned.
"We don't order our Chinese food here." He told her.
"Why not?"
"Because I make it." He answered.
"You make your own Chinese food?" Alice asked.
"Yes indeedy doo. You haven't tasted anything until you've tasted my chicken fried rice and egg roll soup."
"Egg roll soup?" Alice asked. "Shouldn't that be wong tong soup?"
"Oh. We use tongs to put the egg rolls into it, if that's what you mean. But we don't cook them."
"No, no, no!" Alice said while laughing a little. "I didn't mean tongs as in something that helps you pick up food. I meant like the kind in soup. They're dumplings with meat in them. They're really good. And they come with vegetables too. Those are the kind I like. Have you ever tried mango chicken?"
"Wouldn't the mango and chicken look silly together?" Hare asked.
"It taste really good." Alice said, ignoring him.
"Do you know how to make it?" Hatter asked.
"I think I could show you a thing or two. Or three. Come on."
Hatter followed Alice into the kitchen and waited for her to instruct him on how to make the mango chicken. She was going to see that his dinner was edible if it killed her.
"Well, what do you say?" Hare asked the Walrus and Pinniped. "Wanna play me in a round of Pinochle."
"Wouldn't the Queen object to having Alice be a part of something like that?"
"That's the beauty of her Majesty not being here. Besides, Hatter used to have poker parties here before Alice showed up. So, you in?"
The Walrus nodded reluctantly.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Alice and Hatter were whipping up a Chinese feast.
Alice was surprised to learn that Hatter could make a pretty good egg roll. She was also surprised to learn that he could make a mean chicken fried rice casserole with all the vegetables to go with it.
They only had one interruption throughout the whole hour of cooking.
"Did you know that in ancient China, they sometimes ate cats?" Alice informed him.
"I can't see anyone eating this pretty face." The Cheshire Cat said as he appeared before them. "Alice, I didn't know you were a wiz in the kitchen."
"You're not getting any." Alice told him. "Paws off."
"You've been around the Queen too long."
As Alice followed Hatter out of the kitchen, she stopped as a wave of dizziness passed over her.
Reaching out to grab the closest thing to her, she managed to grab a hold of one of the many pots that sat on an ornate, if not ancient large stone bunny rabbit.
As the pot clattered to the floor, the statue almost came with it.
"Okay. I thought we weren't due for another earthquake until next month." Hatter said as he whirled around at the sound of the noise.
"You get earthquakes here?" She asked as she tried to straighten up.
"Well, we call them Queen quakes, but you get the idea."
"Uh-huh. Sorry about the statue." Alice apologized.
"It's all right. It's not like it was a gift from the Queen or anything."
"Uh, Mr. Hatta, it was a gift from the Queen." Alice reminded him. "Although I think Mom needs gift giving lessons."
"All right. Who wants some chow?" Hatter said, forgetting about the statue slip up.
A few minutes later, they were all sitting down at the table and about to dig in.
"This looks really good." Alice commented.
"It tastes even better." Hare said.
Alice nodded.
After the Walrus and Pinniped were served, everyone started eating.
Digging her fork into the rice with vegetables and chicken, Alice was pleasantly surprised. It tasted like they had ordered from a restaurant. Even though she wouldn't admit this aloud for fear of jinxing the Hatte'rs next meal, it tasted better than the restaurant.
"Mr. Hatter, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you've out done yourself. I think even Mom would like this."
"Well, knowing how picky she is, she would find something wrong with it in two point five seconds."
"I'm guessing more like one point three." Hare said.
"No. I think it would be at two point four."
The two friends were so engaged in their conversation, they didn't notice Alice put her fork down.
The Walrus did though and gave her a concerned look.
Just then, Dinah came through the cat door and ran into the kitchen. She promptly began lapping up the leftover rice that was on the counter.
"Well, if you were hungry, why didn't you just say so." Hatter asked.
Getting up from his seat, he made her a kitty platter and put it on the table he reserved for her food.
"There you go." He said. "Eat up."
Dinah did just that after licking his hand and purring.
It was then that Hatter glanced up to see Alice was gone. The Walrus was missing as well.
"Talk about dinner to go." Hatter commented. "Well, I guess it's time to put the leftovers away for tomorrow's lunch." With that, he and Hare went about the task of finding containers to keep the food in.
After that was over, they went in search of their missing friends.
Meanwhile, Alice and the Walrus were in the middle of a game of Chess. They had found an old set in the Hatte'rs hall closet and had taken it upon themselves to set it up.
Hatter wouldn't mind and he rarely used it as it was.
"He won again? Man, Pinniped is good."
"Yes. When it comes to games, charades is the only one he isn't' so good at."
"Obviously." Alice said.
Before Alice knew it, the Walrus and Pinniped had left and the three were left on their own for the night.
"Wanna watch some TV?" Hatter offered.
"We have over a hundred channels."
"Let me guess, Hat TV in forty different languages."
"No. Only thirty."
Alice sighed.
"How about any game shows?"
"Take your pick. Wonderland Pyramid, Royal Family Feud and then you have The Royal Link."
"And boy do those Royal families know how to feud. They put the Queen's family reunions to shame."
"Mom has family reunions? I've never met any of her relatives."
"That's because she doesn't invite them here. But she's been invited there."
"How do you know?"
"We sometimes get her mail." Hare replied."
"Have you ever opened it?" Alice asked.
"Are you kidding? Of course we have. How else do you expect us to enter the Royal sweepstakes."
"Uh you do know that's a federal offense, don't you?"
"I don't' think the Queen takes any offense to it. We've been taking her sweep stakes advertisements for years and she's never said a thing."
"No. I don't mean that. I mean it's a crime."
"Not around here." Hatter informed her. "In fact, it's a compliment."
"What?" Alice asked surprised.
"Oh yea. Besides. When you want to get to know someone, reading their mail is the first step. Especially if they aren't that talkative."
"You read people's mail just to get to know them? What happened with saying hi."
"Nothing. It's just this way, we get to know them for who they really are."
"You can learn a lot about people through their mail. You can also get to know a lot about them through how they handle their mail."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, take your dear old mother for example."
"Uh, the Queen's not that old."
"Like I said, take your dear old mother for example." Hatter repeated. "When Rabbit brings her the mail, she sorts through it and the first thing she looks for are any newspapers or bills."
"Okay. So?"
"So if she finds any, the newspapers go straight to the trash. This means the Queen has a problem recycling. And that also explains why she uses our newspapers."
Just then, the Dormouse popped out of his teapot.
"I subscribe to mouse weekly. They have good crossword puzzles in there. Here, have a look." With that, he handed Alice a tiny newspaper.
"Wow! This is as long as your grocery list."
"Speaking of that," Hatter spoke up, "We need to go grocery shopping for the ingredients we're gonna use for our submission to the Queen's contest. Wanna come?"
"We'll let you pick the sprinkles." Hare offered.
"Sure. I guess. What are you two planning on making?" Alice asked.
"It's a secret." Hatter told her.
"Do you know what you're making?" Alice reiterated.
"Of course. We always know what we're making. What are we making?" Hare asked, turning to Hatter.
"A treat fit for a Queen of course."
"What's gonna be in it?"
"A little of this, a little of that. Some of those, a few of these." Hatter said evasively.
"Why am I suddenly getting the feeling that this treat is going to be one of a kind."
Just then, Hatter glanced at the clock.
"I didn't know it was that late." He mused.
"Maybe we should get some sleep." Alice advised.
"Are you kidding? We can't sleep now."
"Why not?" Alice asked as she yawned.
"Because it's time for our late night tea party."
"Late night tea party? It's almost eleven. I would be asleep by now if I were home."
"Well, you're not. And like they say, when in Wonderland…"
"Do as the Wonderlandians do?"
"No. Never forget to leave cookies and milk out for the wobears."
"Don't you mean leave cookies out for Santa?"
"We stopped leaving cookies out for him five years ago.""
"Do I even want to know?"
"He got sued a few years ago. We saw it on the Wonderland news."
"What!" Alice exclaimed. "How in Wondaland did Santa get sued? He's one of the good guys."
"That's what he wants you to think. Besides, anyone who ties reindeer to a sleigh ought to be arrested for animal cruelty."
Alice couldn't help it, she burst out laughing. She didn't know if it was because her friends were being ridiculous or because of the idea of Santa being served by Peta for Reindeer endangerment. Whatever the reason, she couldn't stop laughing.
Just then, her phone rang.
"Hello?" She asked while trying to calm down.
"Hey Alice, it's Dum. I had a favor to ask."
"Sure. What is it?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. It's just Mr. Hatter is practicing holiday justice."
"I don't even want to know." Dum replied. "Anyway, Dee thinks we should make a butterscotch cream pie. Do you think that would fly with her Majesty?"
"If you're asking me if she'll like it, I think it's safe to say it'll soar."
"Great! Thanks! Night, sis. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay. Night. Tell Dee I said hey."
"Will do." With that, the two siblings hung up.
Just then, Hatter spoke up as Alice closed her phone.
"Come to think of it, Aunt Thelma would have been against suing him."
"Let me guess, she liked getting presents?" Alice guessed.
"No. She had a crush on the guy. I can't imagine why."
"What about your Uncle Fester?" Alice questioned. "Is he much into Christmas?"
"Oh yeah. But he was a feisty one. He probably would have gotten the whole North Pole together and voted to take Santa's sleigh license away."
"Sounds like your uncle didn't like Santa very much."
"Nah, it didn't have anything to do with Santa himself. Uncle Fester just wanted to drive the sleigh."
"Doesn't he have a car?"
"Several."
"Well, what's wrong with driving one of…those?" Alice asked as more pain shot up the right side of her stomach.
"Maybe the question should be what's the matter with you?"
"Maybe I ate too fast."
Hatter gave her a strange look. He reached across the table and handed her a cup of tea.
"Thanks." She replied.
Just then, her cell phone rang again.
"It's nearly eleven-thirty." She said as she flipped open the cell.
"Ten wobucks says it's the Queen." Hatter stated.
"I'm guessing about twenty." Hare put in.
"Hello?"
"Alice, it's me." The Queen greeted her. "Why aren't you asleep yet?"
"Uh, we're just talking. Besides, you just called me."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Well, I wasn't asleep, but if I had been, the phone would have woken me up."
"Don't get smart with me, young lady. I may not be there now, but I can still ground you when I get back."
"Yes, You're Majesty. Sorry. Anyway, how is it over there? How's your Mom?"
"She's fine. The food is a disaster though. It makes purple potato pancakes seem pleasant."
"Yeah. Well, we had Chinese for dinner."
"Did you order from The Wonderland Moon?"
"No. Mr. Hatter cooked it. I helped him."
"And you're still alive?"
"Yes. It was actually really good."
"You must be joking." The Queen retorted.
"No. But I did hear a good one from Dee."
"Tell me when I get back. For some reason, my mother needs my help. She's worse than the Hatter was the time he injured his back."
"Yeah, but remember, some of that was faked." Alice replied.
"Don't remind me. All right, I need to get up there before she wakes the dead. And you, my dear, need to get some sleep. And that's an order."
"Yes You're Majesty. I love you too. I'll be sure to tell Mr. Rabbit he can use your credit card to buy all the carrots he wants. I'm just kidding! And you say I need some rest. Okay. Yes, I am. Sure. I'll pass along the message. Night." With that, she hung up.
"Goodness. It's like the Queen doesn't trust me with her own daughter." Hatter mused. "I wonder why that is."
"I don't know." Alice replied. "I always feel safe over here."
"Well maybe someone should drive the message home to her Majesty." Hare suggested.
"Yeah. Just make sure it's not Uncle Fester. Come to think of it, he'd probably jack up the reindeer on sugar before taking to the air. And then he'd get stopped and sighted for speeding."
"Okay. Well, I'm gonna get some sleep. I'm a little tired as it is. Besides, if Mom finds out I went to bed any later than twelve-thirty, she'll make sure you guys pay. And I don't want that to happen."
Hatter nodded. He knew what his young friend was referring to.
"AT least finish your tea." He said.
"All right. But after that, we all need to get some sleep."
After Alice was finished her tea, she bid her friends good night and went to the room she often slept in when staying over.
She found Dinah curled up on her bed. The red fuzzy blanket was tucked around her.
"Night, Dinah. Sweet dreams. Maybe tomorrow, Mr. Hatter will make you a batch of his salmon hash browns."
"Hmmm. Count this kitty in."
"What do you want this late?"
"Can't I come visit a friend?"
"Yeah. But I'd prefer if it was during the day."
"No can do. I have plans."
"What? Driving Mom up the wall?"
"No. Although that does sound like fun. I'm meeting my kitty club for a game of mouse trap."
"Uh you have that game?"
"It's popular among us cats. Especially the prizes."
"You play for…Ow. Prizes?"
"Of course. Why else would we play?"
"For fun."
"Maybe I should stick around." He noted, seeing the way Alice was laying.
"No. I just need some sleep. I'll be okay. Besides, I know you. You'll keep me awake all night talking."
"I only reserve that for the Queen. Besides, we all know she needs to socialize more." With that, he left.
Sighing to herself, Alice rolled over and closed her eyes. All she wanted to do was sleep.
Dinah poked her head out of the blanket and draped herself across Alice's chest.
She meowed in concern before drifting off again. She was probably dreaming about chasing mice. Maybe even Mickey Mouse.
It wasn't that she didn't like him, far from it. In fact, whenever Sammie watched "House of Mouse," Dinah would curl up with her and make herself comfortable. She especially liked the Mickey themed cartoons.
Alice awoke a few hours later to the sound of Dinah meowing. It wasn't her usual normal meow either. It was an alarmed meow. She was sitting on Alice's right side and pawing just above her stomach.
"Dinah, what are you doing?" Alice asked as her eyes adjusted to the dim light of the early morning. "The sun isn't even up yet."
Dinah just continued meowing as she rested a paw on Alice's chest.
She then jumped off the bed and ran out of the room.
"Dinah! What in Wondaland are you doing? Come back here right now!"
Sitting up, she threw the covers off herself and swung her legs over the side of the bed.
Standing up, she attempted to follow her faithful feline, but a sharp pain stopped her.
Being as stubborn as the Queen, she stood up again and managed to make it to the hallway.
"Dinah! Where are you? Come on. If you think I'm going all over Hatter's house looking for you, think again."
She was about to take a step into the hallway leading to the living room, when an especially bad stab of pain brought her to her knees.
Forced to go on all fours, she made her way into the hallway and found herself in the dining room.
"Dinah Rose Miller, get back here!" With that, Alice followed the sound of Dinah's paw steps to the base of the attic stairs.
"Oh no! There's no way I'm goin' up there. "Fine. But this better be worth it." With that,
She got halfway to the top before doubling over in pain.
"Dinah was already up and had knocked over a box in her haste to explore.
As Alice doubled over, she almost lost her balance. She grabbed at the railing to keep her from falling down the stairs.
"Dinah, I could use some help over here."
Dinah meowed as though thinking about it. She picked a toy out of the box and ran back to Alice.
"I don't wan a rubber mouse." Alice told her. "You keep it. What I need is to get back downstairs."
Dinah ran in front of her and lead the way.
"Thanks. But you're still being punished. No Garfield for a week."
It took a little bit, but Alice finally reached the bottom of the stairs.
Getting back to her room should have been a piece of cake, but it was anything but.
Every move she made was painful and she was starting to feel dizzy.
Dinah had run ahead and was probably keeping her bed warm.
Rounding the corner to the hallway where the bedrooms were, along with one of the two bathrooms the hatter had, Alice made it a few feet beyond the door, when something told her to go back.
Entering the bathroom, which was decorated with paintings of tea pots and mice.
Closing the door behind her partway, she glanced at the side of the sink and discovered her cell phone sitting upon it.
Just as a feeling of nausea swept over her, the cell phone rang.
Making a split second decision, Alice ignored the phone.
Bracing herself for what she knew was to come, she just about made it to the toilet before bringing up the contents of her stomach.
She was now in more pain than before and she was starting to shiver.
Her phone had also begun to ring again.
Just then, the bathroom door opened all the way to reveal Hatter standing there.
"Hey," he said. "I didn't know you were awake. I heard your phone going off and figured it was the Queen. I also found Dinah asleep underneath the dining room table." He then got a good look at the young girl and realized something was wrong.
Alice was now sitting against the far wall, hugging her knees to her chest.
"Alice, you don't look so good. Are you sure you're all right?"
Alice sighed. She knew she couldn't hide it any longer. She was well in over her head and she knew it.
"Mr. Hatter, it hurts!" Alice cried as more pain seared through her stomach.
He was about to ask her what hurt, but then realized when he saw the position she was in.
"What does it feel like?" He inquired.
Alice glared at him as best she could through her pain.
"Oh I don't know. It feels all warm and fuzzy."
Hatter gave her a confused look.
"Did you eat marshmallows or cotton candy?"
"No!" Alice said in frustration.
"Do you feel warm?" He asked.
"Come to think of it, I'm freezing." She replied.
He nodded as he reached his left hand out and put the back of it to her forehead.
"Okay. You're cooking' all right."
"Mr. Hatter, please. Don't use any food metaphors."
"Okay. Well, since we seem to be tossed a float without a clue as to what's going on, I think we should get you to a doctor." Then as an after thought, he added, "When was the last time you saw a pink elephant wearing a tuxedo and dancing the tango?"
"Never. Why?"
"No reason."
Alice sighed as she felt Hatter gently lift her into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck to prevent herself from falling and closed her eyes.
Before leaving the house, Hatter left a quick note for the dormouse and made sure Dinah had food and water.
Before Alice knew it, she was laying on a gurney in an exam room in Wonderland Medical Center. She was waiting for the doctor to come back.
Dr. Gilson had examined her upon arrival. He had immediately done some routine tests along with getting her rehydrated via IV.
Hatter was next to her, flipping through the channels on the TV.
"Did you find anything good?"
"Not a thing. You would think with cable, they would have at least one hat channel."
"Well, at least the worst is over with now." Alice said, not knowing what was to come.
"Are you kidding?" Hatter said as though she had just uttered the most outrageous thing he had ever heard. "The worst of it is yet to come."
"What do you mean? The examination wasn't that bad. These guys don't hurt you. At least not on purpose."
"I'm not talking about that." He said. "I'm talking about telling your mother."
Alice gulped at that. She hadn't thought of what would happen if and when her mother found out. Surely she would be concerned, but once she found out Alice had kept this from everyone for a long period of time, Alice was sure to be in the royal doghouse.
Just then, there was a knock at her door.
"Yo, can we come in?" Came Dum's voice.
"Sure." Hatter said. "Did you bring anythin good to eat?"
Alice shot him a look.
Dee shook his head. He threw Alice a look she tried to ignore.
"Here it is." Hatter said aloud.
"Here what is?" Alice asked.
"The quarter." He answered. "If it's heads, I tell the Queen, tails, someone else does it."
Dee was about to object, but stopped as Hatter flipped the coin in the air.
It landed on the ground heads up.
"Looks like you're the lucky one." Alice mused. "Have fun."
"Thanks, kiddo." He said dryly. "Well, better get it over with. I'll be back." With that, he was gone.
"Sorry for waking you guys up." Alice apologized.
"No problem." Dum replied. "I was awake anyway."
"Doing what?"
"Uh, I was entertaining a lady friend of mine."
"You have a girlfriend? How come I never met her?"
"Because she's new on the scene." He replied. "And she's not from around here."
"She isn't?" Alice asked.
"Nope."
"Where's she from?"
"Chicago." Dum replied. "That's where Dee and I grew up."
Alice's jaw was about on the ground.
"You two grew up in my…" Her voice trailed off in wonder.
"Why do you look surprised?" Dum inquired.
Dee nodded.
"After all, we're the ones that should be surprised."
"What do you mean?" She asked in an effort to avoid the question.
Rather than answer her question with a direct answer, Dee asked another poinient one.
"Alie, what were you thinking?"
"Uh, that Dum has a lot of explaining to do."
"Let's leave my love life for later." Dum replied. "I promise. I'll tell you all about Alivia later."
"Alivia, not Olivia."
"Nope. Alivia with an A."
"Nice spelling."
"I thought it was pretty too." Dum replied.
"So did you guys eva go to a Chicago bears game?"
Dum was about to answer, when Dee gave him a look.
"Uh, I'll be right back." He said. "I'm gonna take a walk."
"Good idea." Dee told him. "And don't worry. She'll be in one piece."
After Dum was gone, Dee sat down in the chair Hatter had occupied a few minutes before…
Meanwhile, Hatter was just reaching the Queen by phone. He had used Alice's cell phone so he wouldn't have to pay the twenty-five cents for the payphone.
Besides, he didn't like running out of time on that thing and being asked to put in extra quarters.
"Hatter, what are you doing calling me on Alice's phone? Do you know what time it is?"
"Yes. It's a quarter to six."
"Very good. Now, this better be good. What did Rabbit destroy now?"
"It's not Rabbit." He said.
"Well, then what is it? I'd like to get back to sleep before the milk man shows up."
"Your mother's still ordering milk in bottles?"
"Don't' try and change the subject. Tell me what's wrong."
"Well, the internet's slow, there are wobears starving in the west of Wonderland and…Aliceisinthehospital."
"What!" The Queen shrieked.
The Hatter was forced to remove the phone inches from his ear due to the loudness of her Majesty's shout.
The Queen's shriek was so shrill, he was sure it could be heard throughout the kingdom.
"You have a good set of lungs, You're Majesty. Did you ever think of taking up a job as an aerobics instructor?"
"I knew it was a mistake leaving my daughter with you. You can barely take care of the Dormouse, let alone a pre-teen."
"It wasn't my fault." Hatter protested honestly. "I didn't even know anything was wrong with her until tonight."
"Are you trying to tell me that Alice lied to us?"
"No. That's not what I'm saying. She would never do that."
"Then what are you saying?"
"I'm saying you better get over here."
"Excuse me?"
"I mean if it pleases you're Hiness, you might wanna consider coming back."
"You chucklehead. Of course I'm coming back. I'll call Rabbit right now."
"He's gonna love that." Hatter mused.
"Tell Alice I'll be there as soon as I can." The Queen instructed.
"I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear it."
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Bye, You're Majesty." With that, Hatter hung up. "Sheesh. You would think Alice was going through major surgery or something."
When he returned to the room, he found Dee and Alice talking while the TV played "Name that Adverb" in the background.
"Where's your brother?" He asked, referring to Dum.
"He went for a walk." Dee replied. "Maybe he got lost."
"Oh no." Alice said.
"What?" Hatter asked worriedly. "Do you feel sick again?"
"No. It's nothing like that. I'm fine for now. But remember what happened when Mr. Hare got lost?"
"Don't remind me." Hatter said. "He got a card from her a week later, asking him to marry her."
"Who would want to…" Alice asked.
Dee couldn't help it, he chuckled as well.
"Alie's right, no offense. I mean, my brother met the girl of his dreams, but that was because we happened to be visiting our relatives that weekend."
"So is she pretty?" Alice asked.
"My brother seems to think so." Dee replied.
"And you don't."
"No. I Think she's fine"
"Ah, so you like her, huh?"
"No! She's not my type. I mean she's nice and all and she has a pretty smile, but she's more of Dum's type."
"Okay. And what exactly is your type?"
Dee blushed.
"I'll tell you when you turn eighteen."
"Okay. I'll just ask Dum."
Dee shot her a look.
"Just kidding."
"Just wait until you're better." He threatened.
Far from being intimidated, Alice gave him a rye smile.
"We'll just see about that." She turned to Hatter just then. "So, how did Mom take the news?"
"What? You didn't hear the shriek?"
"Aw, man. I'm dead."
"No. I think she was more interested in sinking her royal claws into me."
"Why? You didn't do anything."
"Tell that to her."
"Okay. I will."
Just then, Dr. Gilson walked in. He gave them a warm smile.
Alice and the Wonderland gang were his favorite patients. They hardly ever gave him any trouble.
"Well, we got the results of the blood tests back and it seems Alice has a severe case of Appendicitis."
"What?" They all said in unison.
Dr. Gilson nodded in confirmation.
"She's gonna be just fine. But it does need to be treated right away to prevent infection and further damage."
"How do you treat it?" Alice asked.
"I'm afraid it needs to be removed."
Alice nodded as the explanation sunk in.
This was bad. But little did she know the worst was yet to come…
After Gilson left, Alice posed a question to her two friends.
"Where is Dum?"
Meanwhile, Dum had walked into a part of the hospital that was reserved for the elderly.
He took a right and walked into a room that was open. He was surprised to see Hare there.
"Hare, what are you doing here?" He asked.
"Shh. Can't you see we're watching Wonderland's funniest home videos?"
"We?" Dum asked.
"Yeah. Hey there, sweet thing. Another handsome young visitor. I knew I had to schedule my hip replacement surgery for this week."
"Uh, I gotta get back to my friends." He told her. "You guys have fun. And Hare, Hatter's looking for you." With that, he left.
Entering Alice's room once again, Dum was met by an expectant look from his brother.
"Where were you?" He asked.
"Uh, making new friends with Hare's wife to be."
"Oh no. She's back?"
"She and Hare are chatting it up real good."
"When's the wedding?" Alice quipped.
"Hopefully not for a long time. A long, long time." Hatter emphasized. "Maybe after the Queen has…."
"After the Queen has what?" A familiar voice said from just inside the doorway. "Come on. I'm dying to hear this one."
"Mom!" Alice exclaimed, obviously happy to see her.
"Uh, You're Majesty, you got here quickly." Hatter said, trying to change the subject.
"Don't' give me that. What were you going to say? And as for you," she said, turning her attention to Alice, "I'm glad to see you're all right."
"Not quite." Hatter said evasively.
As the Queen was about to grill Hatter again, the door opened and Hare walked in.
"Hey. What'd I miss?"
"A lot." Alice replied. "So how was your date?"
"It was good."
"Maybe you and Dum can double date." Alice suggested, winking at her brother.
Dum turned three shades of red and tried to avoid her eye.
"What's she talking about? What don't' I know?" The Queen asked.
Fortunately, Dr. Gilson chose that moment to come back.
"You're Majesty, I'm glad you're here. We need you to sign a few consent forms."
"For what exactly?" She asked.
"You don't know what's going on?" He asked, surprised.
"I've been away for the past few days." She replied. "But I would like to know what's going on around here."
"Let's talk out in the hallway." He said.
Once the Queen was gone, Alice gave Hatter a look that spoke volumes.
The look said "save me."
"What is going on?" Dum inquired.
Alice sighed as she and the others started to explain.
"Wow! You really got yourself in a mess this time." He told her.
"SO everyone's been telling me." Alice replied.
"Oh Alice, are you all right?" Hare asked in concern.
"Of course she's not all right. If she was all right, do you think she'd be here?"
"Good point." He decided.
Just then, the Queen came back. She glared at Alice before addressing her subjects.
"I need to talk to Alice alone."
"Uh, no you don't." Alice replied.
"Yes I do. Well, what are you all just standing there for?"
With that, they left reluctantly.
As Hatter passed, he patted Alice's shoulder before whispering in her left ear, "Just agree with everything she says and you'll be fine. Trust me. I know."
Alice nodded as she watched him leave the room.
She wished the medicine would take affect already, but it usually took up to a half an hour to work.
Once the door was shut, the Queen sat down in a chair before addressing her daughter.
"Alice?" She said, trying to gain her attention.
Alice turned to face her a minute or so later. She tried to change the subject, but it didn't work.
"How could Mr. Rabbit have a crush on someone like that?" She asked, referring to the host on TV.
"Nice try, but you're not getting out of this that easily."
"I had to try." Alice replied.
"I wouldn't expect any less." The Queen said.
"Are you mad that you had to come home early?"
"No. In fact, that was the one good thing that came out of this. Although I would have much preferred it to be under more pleasant circumstances."
"I think Mr. .Hare's getting married." Alice blurted out.
"Will wonders never cease." She said. "Do I even want to know?"
"It's some old woman. He caught her eye a few years ago."
"I told him going to those late night bahfo bingo tournaments would get him into trouble one day."
"Oh no. He met her here." Alice explained.
"Okay. That settles it then. He really needs something to do in his spare time. Now, back to you."
"Aw, do we have to? I thought we were having a nice conversation."
"Yes. But seeing as I'm such a fair and generous Queen, I'll put off punishing you until you're better."
"Thanks." Alice responded.
"You're welcome." The Queen replied. "Now try and get some rest. Goodness knows what those subjects of mine have gotten themselves into."
"If I know the Tweedles and I do, they're probably at the gift shop."
"Hopefully they bought you something that isn't alive."
"I don't think you have to worry about that." Alice said as she closed her eyes. "That's more of Mr. Hatter's department."
Once Alice was taken in, the Queen went in search of her subjects.
She found the Tweedles, along with Hatter, Rabbit and the Walrus, hanging around the waiting room.
"Hey You're Majesty. Want some?" Dum asked, holding out a carton of what looked like vegetable fried rice.
"I don't touch hospital food." She declared. "It's worse than carnival food."
"But this isn't hospital food, You're Majesty." Dee told her. "It's homemade."
"You made it?"
"No. I did." Hatter spoke up. "I made chicken fried rice last night and Alice loved it. I thought since she might not be able to handle chicken right away, I would make her something a little more mild."
"Hatter, I didn't know you could cook Chinese food." The Queen said in astonishment.
"Well now you do. Besides, when you're stranded in China town with only a Chinese menu and a few pandas to keep you company, you learn how to cook pretty quickly."
The Queen ignored this as she cautiously sampled the food.
To her surprise, it tasted delicious.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but this tastes even better than the Wonderland moon."
"You really mean it, You're Majesty?" Hatter asked.
"I never say what I don't mean."
"May we try some?" The Walrus asked. "Pinniped is starving."
"Get your own." The Queen told him. "This is mine."
"Don't worry. I have more." Hatter assured them. With that, he lead them into a side room where a crock pot was plugged in. It had more rice in it.
"Help yourself, Walrus." He offered. "Oh, and Pinniped too."
Just then, the Queen noticed a box beside where the Walrus was now sitting.
"What's that?" She asked.
The Walrus glanced up from dishing himself and Pinniped some food to answer the Queen's question.
"Oh. That's a gift for Alice."
"What kind of gift?" She pressed.
"It's a surprise. But I assure you, she'll like it."
"The question is, will I?"
"That depends."
"Why does it have holes?" She asked.
"Well, how do you expect her to breathe?"
"Does it have teeth?"
"Of course. How do you expect it to eat?"
The Queen shrank away a little, but tried to look as though she wasn't apprehensive.
"Is it a wobear?" Hatter asked with childlike enthusiasm.
"No!" Everyone said in unison.
"Well, gee. Sue a guy for asking."
"Don't temp me. I'm the Queen after all."
"And your point is?" Hatter challenged.
"I'd win."
"Good point."
Hatter made a feeble attempt to change the subject just then.
"So what about our Alice?" He asked.
"What about her?" The Queen retorted. "She'll be fine. She's tough."
"Are you going to punish her?"
"I've thought about it and I've decided not to."
Hatter's jaw about hit the ground.
"What?"
"I've decided she's learned her lesson. And that's that. She will be getting a small lecture from me once she's better, but I think that's all that's needed here."
"Does Alice know this?"
"No."
"So you're letting the poor girl think she has a punishment coming when in fact there isn't one?"
"That's right. Am I good or what?"
"You're Majesty, I didn't know you could be this sly."
"There are a lot of things about me you don't know." She said evasively.
"Okay. SO tell me."
"Not on your life." With that, she went back to eating her rice and was soon engaged in a conversation with the Tweedles about an idea for a new contest.
Alice awoke a few hours later to the familiar sound of her mother yelling at someone. She wasn't as loud as usual, but it was still a comfort to the young girl.
"I told you, don't open that box." She scolded whoever was attempting to disobey her.
"Come on." Dum argued. "It can't be that bad. This is the Walrus we're talkin' about."
"Yeah, he would never cause Alie any harm." Dee interjected.
"That's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried about whatever's in there causing me harm."
Alice's eyes opened just then. The first thing she saw was the Queen glaring at Dum. The second thing she noticed was the bunch of balloons tied to her bedpost. They were in the shape of wobears and said things like, "We hope you get better beary soon. And just grin and bear it." on them.
Alice smiled, knowing who they were from. She wasn't mad at Hatter in the least. After all, he had helped her.
"I think she's waking up you guys!" Dum announced as he saw Alice's eyes open. He then tried to reach for the box, but the Queen grabbed it before he got too close. "Come on. I was just gonna give it to her."
"Wait until she wakes up fully. " The Walrus advised. "This gift needs to b handled delicately. Might I advise someone else hold it for a few minutes."
"I'll do it. " Dee volunteered. "Besides, whatever is in there is bound to be taken by my charm."
"Yeah right." Alice and Dum said in unison.
"Hey, watch it." Dee told her playfully. "Or you won't be getting this gift."
"What is it?" Alice asked as she tried to regain her voice power.
"It's someone I knew was worried about you. And I couldn't leave her behind."
"Walrus, you didn't. You're as bad as the Hatter."
"Since the Hatter is a good friend of ours, we'll take that as a compliment, You're Majesty." The Walrus replied. "Oh and Pinniped wanted me to tell you that new robe really brings out your eyes."
"Why thank you for the compliment. I'll be sure to ask his opinion the next time I buy something new."
Dee had already lifted the lid and extracted Dinah from the box.
The cat purred and settled in Dee's arms rather comfortably.
She glanced over at Dum and meowed questioningly.
"Don't worry. We'll be done with your kitty gym next week. I'm adding a special feature. And it's bound to drive her Majesty nuts."
"You're making her a kitty gym?" Alice asked.
"Why not? Even cats need to get exercise. And a cool cat like Dinah deserves nothing' but the best."
"Thanks for thinking of me." A familiar voice said as the Cheshire cat appeared. "Cats do deserve nothing but the best. Especially this kitty."
"You're not getting Dinah's subscription to cat food weekly."
"Who said I wanted it? I have better taste than that."
"Says who?"
"My kitty club. We trade recipes every week."
"I don't even wanna know." Alice said with a grimace.
"What are you doing here anyway? Cats aren't allowed."
"Can't I come and visit a friend?"
"When she's back home. On second thought, no."
"Aw, come on, You're Majesty, there's no way you can resist this cute smile."
"Yes I can. Very easily in fact. Now scat!"
"Now there's an idea. Maybe my kitty club and I should start a jazz band. I gotta go see if the alley cats are still in need of another member. Sianara!" With that, he was gone.
"Oh please. The day he starts a band is the day I ban music."
Alice grinned, knowing her mother would never go through with it. She liked singing too much.
"Mr. Hatter, where did you get those balloons?"
"From a few friends."
"Okay. I thought you got them from a store." Alice inquired.
"Yeah. I have a few furry friends who own a store."
Just then, Dinah jumped from Dee's arms and climbed onto the bed.
At first it looked like she was going to curl up with Alice, but then she changed tactics and went for the Queen's half eaten rice instead.
"Get out of there! You're learning bad habits from the Cheshire cat. Get your own rice."
Hatter dished some into a bowl and set it down on the bed.
"There you go." He said. "Eat up."
Dinah did so before licking her paws and settling down in Alice's lap.
"Thanks, Mr. Walrus. I knew I could count on you. But one thing. How did you sneak her in here?"
The Walrus smiled mysteriously.
"It's a long story, my dear." He said. "I'll tell you later. Now you need some rest."
Alice nodded in agreement as she yawned.
"All right, you chuckleheads, everyone out."
"Aw, You're Majesty, do we have to? The National Wobear bowl just came on."
"Go watch your bears at home." The Queen ordered.
"But Alice wants to watch it too, don't you?" He asked, hoping to gain favor from his friend. "Alice?"
He glanced down to see she was fast asleep.
"All Alice wants is to get some rest without a bunch of crazed wobear fans to worry about."
"I'm not a crazed fan. I only threw honey at the stadium once."
"Once is enough. Now get out of here."
"All right. Tel Alice I'll see her tomorrow."
"I'm sure she'll be looking forward to that."
"I know she will. Night, You're Majesty." With that, he left.
As he gained the hallway, he was just in time to see Hare coming towards him from the other direction.
"I thought I'd never get out of there." He said as he met up with his best friend. "Did I miss anything? Is Alice all right?"
"Yeah. She's fine. She's sleeping now. But I think the Queen has bear issues."
"How could anyone have bear issues? I mean they're just so cute and they share their food and they give a good rock concert."
"Oh yeah. Now you're talking. Come on. Let's go back to my place. I have an idea for the Queen's next party."
A few days later, Alice was back home and doing better. She had wanted to help with the last minute preparations for the chocolate cook off, but the Queen had ordered her to rest for the first few days she was back home at the palace.
Thanks to Hatter and the Tweedles, Alice was able to help even though she was still recovering.
By the time the cook off took off, everything was in tasting order.
Alice was relieved to know she would be able to attend it. She had a feeling the Hatter had put in a good word for her.
The courtyard was decorated with chocolate hearts and red strawberries with hearts on the stems.
"Did you guys do this?" Alice asked, referring to her brothers.
"Of course. Who else do you think has this much designer class?" Dum asked rhetorically.
Alice shook her head as Dinah jumped into her lap and started sniffing the table.
"We have something for you too." Hatter assured the feline. "I made it last night." With that, he produced a bowl of cat treats in the shape of hearts.
Dinah went to town as Alice stole a peanut butter chocolate heart from the center of the table.
As Hare went to do the same, the Queen walked by.
"Hey! Get your hands off those!"
"Alice did it first!" Hare protested.
"Stop that. Act your age."
Hare gave her Majesty a reproachful look.
"And as for you, how does it taste?" She asked, turning to Alice.
"They taste good. They're fit for a Queen."
"That's what I like to hear." She said laughing.
Hare gave her Majesty a look that she thankfully didn't notice.
It wasn't long before the Queen was ready to announce the winner of the contest.
She had sampled everyone's entries more than once. She had especially liked the Tweedles Seven kinds of chocolate brownies and surprisingly enough, the Hatter's famous chocolate pretzel pudding cake.
Just as the Queen was about to declare who had won, Alice remembered something.
"Wait a minute, Mom. There's one more entry you haven't tried yet."
"There is? Whose?"
"Mine." Alice said, beaming from ear to ear. "I'll be right back."
"Well, there's no need to strain yourself unnecessarily. That's what we have Rabbit for. Rabbit…"
"Yes, You're Majesty. Of course. Right away."
"Thanks, Mr. Rabbit. " Alice said gratefully.
Rabbit flashed her a smile before skating into the palace.
When he returned, he was carrying a chocolate and strawberry red velvet cake in the shape of the throne room.
Everyone gasped at the sight and the Queen's mouth began to water in anticipation of trying the royal creation.
As the Rabbit sat the cake down upon the table, everyone scrambled to get a closer look.
"So, what do you think, You're Majesty? Does it pass your approval?"
"Even better than that." With that, she cleared her throat in the way that signaled she was about to make an important royal announcement. "Ahem, I have an announcement to make."
"That's obvious." Hare quipped.
"Anyway, I've picked the winner of this year's contest."
"Ooh!" Everyone said in anticipation of the Queen's result.
"The winner of this year's Chocolate Contest Cook Off is…" The Queen's voice trailed off as she waited a minute or two before revealing the results.
"Come on, You're Majesty." Hatter pleaded. "The suspense is killing us."
"Yeah, You're Majesty." Dum chimed in. "We wanna eat the stuff before it melts."
"All right. The winner of this year's Royal Chocolate Contest Cook off…is Alice and her chocolate strawberry palace cake!"
Everyone cheered, except for the Tweedles. They were proud of their little sister, but they had thought they had the prize in the bag for sure.
The Queen had always loved their seven kinds of chocolate brownies before.
"But You're Majesty," Dum protested, "what happened to our award winning' chocolate brownies? You've loved them before."
"What my brother is trying to say," Dee interjected at the look of annoyance on the Queen's face as well as the look of confusion and slight hurt on Alice's, "is that while we're proud of Alice, what made you turn our entry down?"
"To be honest, it's seven years old."
"What? We used fresh ingredients." Dum assured her.
"Uh, Dum, I don't think that's what the Queen means." Dee told him.
"Exactly. What I mean is, Alice put a lot of thought into her entry. And it was original. Besides, she did it out of love. I didn't order her to make something. She did it because she wanted to."
"But…Aw, man."
"Stop that. You chuckleheads only made those things because I ordered you too. And furthermore, Hatter, that pretzel cake of yours is all twisted up."
Alice giggled.
"Well, what do you expect? It's a pretzel cake."
"Oh hurrumph. What I mean is, that recipe is so famous, my great-great-great-great…"
"Oh great." Hare commented. "Here we go again."
"…great-great-great-great grandmother could make it from memory and she's not even around anymore."
"Wow! Your great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother's still alive?" Hatter asked. "Man, she must look good for her age."
"What are you saying exactly?"
"Uh, nothing. You look good too."
"You don't look nearly as bad as Hatter's Aunt Thelma."
"Especially when she's eaten three wedding cakes and two dozen doughnut's."
Alice burst out laughing. She was relieved when it didn't' hurt anymore.
As she gazed around at her family, she grinned. She had definitely learned a lesson about trust, but she was glad to be feeling better.
"That's a nice sound to hear, sis." Dum told her.
"I guess they're right when they is the best medicine!" Alice said with another giggle. With that, she accepted the piece of cake Rabbit had set down in front of her and dug in.
Even though her family was al little out there sometimes, she knew she could count on them if she ever got in a real jam. The incident with her Appendix proved it. As far as Alice was concerned, she wouldn't have her family any other way.
THE END
