AN: Story earlier known as 'Violated Dreams'.

Story was removed and deleted, together with all of your lovely readers reviews to it by the administrators of , because the Name of the story AND the Summary weren't G-rated writing. I had no idea of this. Honestly I didn't give it a single thought about it, that it was a big 'no-no' to write curses in the summary. It was removed without a single warning and I was, to boot it all with, not allowed to post any stories many days after 'Violated Dreams' were deleted. Therefore it only returns back up now, with another summary, under another name AND been HEAVILY re-written. So, old story, about a year old, refreshed and hopefully allowed to stay on my page this time for everyone to read and review.

A big thanks to Tania-chwan (KittyBlue), for beta-reading this chapter. I don't know what I would have done without her help.

Rating: N18!

Warning: Rape, Violence, Curses and Blood.

A Bite of the

Forbidden Fruit

-A One Piece fan fiction

By

Crystal Blue Fox

1. Chapter

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Disturbing Feelings

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Case A –Roronoa Zoro

The screams tore through the night like a haunting ghost, ending with a gurgling sound back in the man's throat, as the large hammer crashed down onto his chest, breaking the remaining ribs there were left. The other man, not older than twenty or so, sat pressed up against a tree and stared horrified at the whole scenario. He was crying, looking like a child as he sat there; one leg pressed up against the chest, while the other lay stretched out before him, bloodied, broken. It was for safe measure, they had said, so that the faggot wouldn't be able to run off, they had said. Hewould never be able to use that leg again, if they ever would let him go... alive!

The priest and the blacksmith both looked down at the broken man whose face were no longer to identify. It wasn't even possible to see that the person ever had been a man before.

"Remember this, Zoro," the priest said, slowly turning my way while the tall muscled blacksmith went to the other man. I was scarred to even move, especially when those blue orbs turned my way, begged me, prayed me to say something, to stop them. I tried to open my mouth, but my throat was as dry as a desert. I couldn't speak, only stand there, pressed up against another tree and stare. I didn't even cry.

The priest kneeled down before me with that smile of his, like he had to reassure me that everything was okay. That nothing was wrong. His large hand lay carefully onto my small shoulder.

"Please, don't. I. I. Please. Zoro. Zoro?" The man cried, I wanted to cry, but at least ended up with a little sniffle. I tried to work my mouth, but nothing came out. Yoske had always been a good man, a farmer who worked hard daily to help his father in the fields. He always played with me whenever I came over, even though I said it was childish. "But you are a child, after all," he had said laughing "be proud of it, kid. Enjoy your short time while you have it, okay?" I had always helped him in the fields. He reminded me a lot about sensei, and sensei never minded me coming there. But none had known. Not even me. Not really. I thought that it was weird, but okay.

But apparently it wasn't okay.

"If a man falls for another man, feels that tingling feeling in here," The priest's large finger pressed onto my chest, right above my heart. I was scared, really scared, not only because of what was happening, but also because of that calming way the priest was speaking like. Yoske screamed so loud as the large hammer smashed down onto his other knee, breaking the leg firmly, that I thought his throat soon would bleed "then he's no longer a man. He'll be a sinner, no longer a son of God. A faggot! And a faggot is better off dead, before he destroys another man's soul. Like Yoske here." Yoske cried out loud in answer and tried to crawl away. "Yoske destroyed this man's life. He took a bite of the forbidden fruit, so to say, and shared it with this man." The priest stretched his arm out to show me that man, or, what was left of him. I wanted to throw up. "Now now, Zoro. You're a man yourself. A young man. A son of God. Don't feel sorry for sinners like these. They only get what they deserve. No more, no less."

"…I…"

"I want you to watch, Zoro, watch and remember. Remember what it is God wanted you to see." The blacksmith placed himself in front of the crawling man, Yoske was crying. I tried to move, as the large man lifted his hammer up in the air, but the priest held me steady in place. "Watch and learn, young Zoro."

"No! Noo!" I called, finally finding my voice, pushing against the priest's hold there had to struggle to calmly keep me in place. I could finally feel the wetness in my eyes. Yoske looked forlorn at me as the blacksmith lifted his large hammer up in the air, looming dangerously above the still crawling and crying man, before the large man cursed "bloody faggot" and spat at him, before letting the heavy metal fall down hard.

"NOOOO!"

I woke up with a start. My heart was beating painfully behind the ribcage, threatening to explode at any moment, or so it felt like. My hands where shaking, my freaking whole body was trembling from the memories of that same old dream. A horrible memory from the past. Sitting up on the coach I threaded my fingers through my damp short hair, clutching it in my shaking hands.

The memories from back then were all too clearly… and they were starting to come and haunt me… ever since I found out about myself. A curse, a warning to not go that way. But… I just couldn't help it, can't help it.

I hadn't even realised that I had been crying before I unconsciously runs my hands over my face.

Thank fuck that I had fallen asleep up here without anyone seeing me like this, without anyone to see this pathetic side of me.

Without you having to get disgusted at seeing this pathetic weak side of me.

Just then the silent night air gets disturbed by a sound, a voice. It's a voice not to go wrong by. Was it already that time? Your humming tunes as you walk the deck to stand at the railing, gets carried up to the crows nest, even up in this high. I don't have to look to know that you're lighting yourself one of those stinking cigarettes, leaning yourself on the railing, one foot resting behind the other, while you're watching the lazy sun peeking up behind the horizon, before you'll toss the butt of the cigarette over board and head up into your sanctuary of a kitchen.

It's your ritual, and it's mine to just watch you. Your hair always looks so beautiful when the sun are rising, like the beams of the sun sets your hair in golden fire. You're glowing like a treasure that I am never allowed to touch.

And yet I can't stop imagining myself each and every time how it would be like to slip up behind you, lay my arms around you and pull you against my body for then to watch this little time of peace together with you, before the ruckus of the day will begin. Maybe even kiss you secretly. I wonder how your skin will taste like? Your lips? How would your body against mine feel like? How would you like me to pleasure you the best ways?

Groaning at the way the thoughts are wandering to I learn my head down unto my knees, folding my hands above my head to press it further down.

Its forbidden thoughts, thoughts that I never knew I ever would live to have… but I was cursed or blessed with these the day I first laid my eyes at you, truly laid them at you, now I can only watch you through one.

It stings inside of my chest, it burns as I takes one shuddering breath of air. It's such a long time that I have watched you from the distance, thought that it only was a one-time-curiosity of lust and even tried to fuck around in some of the harbours that we have passed by on our voyage, but with no avail. Instead, each time I laid my hand on a woman, even once or twice with a sailor man to see if it could delete those feelings, I felt disgusted at myself and felt like I was cheating at you. Those I have laid can even be counted on two hands… I didn't ever touch another person after that sailor in the backstreet, who even wanted to do me after I had done him up against the wall. Fucker even had managed to drug me and was well into my pants, his filthy hands on my dick, roaming around on my body, and I even dared to imagine that it was you. Realisation came hard down as I felt him pressing against my ass, trying to enter. I cut off his libido and walked away, ignoring the horrible screams haunting me from behind. I can still hear those hoarse screams even today whenever I dwell on those thoughts.

It had been a maniac desperate moment.

You're changing your tune and even starts to sing when your feet brings you up the stairs. It's hard not to look; it's getting harder to keep myself in control. To keep my own libido in control.

I only want you and you alone, no others can ever change that…sadly enough.

Sighing I press my hands into my eyes, just to execute the growing feeling below. I want you, badly, and today won't be any easier to resist the urge to touch you. Beside, it's already been four years, four years since you first time sat your feet on our ship, four years since you jinxed me with your beauty, with your calm endearing personality after one drunken night where you where you. I can barely fight you now without wanting to press you up against a wall and kiss you, touch you, fuck you into oblivion.

Four years since I was cursed by the thing that they call 'love'.

"Fuck…!" I'm getting weaker.

~.-.-.-.-.-.-.~

I watched you from the shadows as you walked down the stairs with a tray in your hands, balancing the high-glasses filled with some kind of liquor that you had created by yourself. You ignore me several times until there's only two glasses left and you're forced to give me one as well. You search around for me, finding me sitting in the shadows of Nami's orange-trees and walk the way up. You throws me a smile there startles me fully out of it. You've turned softer to me, or maybe it's the alcohol in your drinks –how many did you have already? You normally don't smile like that or laughs like that near me, not when we're alone, not when you can go down have fun with the others. You hate me, you make sure to let me know that fact every breathing moment that we're together, or at least dislikes me a lot. Then why make all that effort to come all the way up here? If you dislike me so much, why do you then sit down beside me and tells happily about your day and whatever fall into your mind, even when your own glass gets empty? Surely you must be drunk, else you wouldn't dare to call me 'cute' when making a face of a comment you throw my way. I am not cute, far from. Really.

Standing up, you brush your pants and walks away; your golden hair shining in the rays of the sun, making the sun itself so jealous of you. The wind blows in your hair and once again I caught a glimpse of the embarrass truth behind you bangs. But somehow those asymmetric eyebrows are endearing. You'd kill me if I'd ever told you so in a sober mind, wouldn't you, you crazy sexy cook?

But I have teased you with them, a night when we were alone and drunk. You moved your bangs aside to show me your face, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Hadn't you been so drunk you might had filleted me alive and thrown me out to the hungry fishes in the seas. Instead you just kicked me in the shin and I experienced how hard a frying pan actually could hurt. You even laughed hard at it, soon after we fell back into a comfortable conversation. It was all before Rivers Mountain… it was that night when I found out I liked this peaceful, calm and open side of you; and I wanted to see more of it, hear more of it… that was the night when I felt my own heart beat an extra time, my body warm and my hand itching to touch you.

It was the day when God stop liking me, if he ever had done, and cursed me with these constant growing feelings.

I wanted to hold you in my arms. I wanted to give you the love that no other person would ever manage to give you. I want to protect you, even if I know that you can perfectly well protect yourself, but I want you to know that I will always be there for you. You 're making me mad. I just can't stop thinking about you.

I watch as you walk away, flirting with the two women onboard, yell at Luffy, chat with Chopper, play poker with Usopp and Franky, while Brook sits by playing his violin. Luffy comes up and joins in and he calls for me to come as well. But I don't want to. I would rather sit here and watch you… like I've always done. Your visible blue eye looks my way and for a brief moment, I could swear there was a hint of worry in that gaze, before it turned all cold and hateful. It's freaking frustrating with your constant change of mood. Why can't others know that you don't mind talking with me, or are you getting sober already? I close my eye as you turn away, but that doesn't mean I won't still keep an eye on you.

I can't help it!

I can't help this feeling and its killing me slowly, breaking and burning my heart to ashes.

Why should I fall in love with you? With a man as beautiful as you?

A man?!

It's forbidden, it's wrong, so horrible wrong, and it's tearing me apart. So many years, and those feelings just keeps on getting stronger. Dangerously stronger.

I observe you play, as you lose and win, and then lose again, when Nami joins in. I can't take the way you are acting towards her, how you make a fool out of yourself.

She doesn't care and I can't take watching you suffer like this much longer. Your hidden tears are a tear too much. She has already claimed her love to our captain. Is that why you have started to drink so much, because you think that no one then ever will love you? I love you, more than any ever can. And I want to show you, I want to tell you that you're not un-loved, even if it will cost me… everything. One night. I wish to have you in my arms, to kiss you sweetly, to make love to you, fuck you, just for one night I want to feel that you love me, for one night I wish you to feel how much I love you, even… even as it will end up as a rape. Shit, what am I saying? But I can't take this anymore. To hell with the rest. I can't stand this any longer, it's eating me up, you're eating me up.

"If a man falls for another man, feels that tingling feeling in here," the words of that priest from back then haunts me again and reminds me of the consequences. I can even still see the whole scene again. I was scared, so freaking scared out of my mind as he showed me, let me see what would happen to people like me "then he's no longer a man. He'll be a sinner, no longer a son of God. A faggot! And a faggot is better off dead, before he destroys another man's soul. Like Yoske here." Yoske had cried his eyes out, tried to crawl away from his death. "Yoske destroyed this man's life. He took a bite of the forbidden fruit, so to say, and shared it with this man."

"Now now, Zoro. You're a man yourself. A young man. A son of God. Don't feel sorry for sinners like these. They only get what they deserve. No more, no less."

Pressing my eyes close I can start tasting the blood in my mouth, as my teeth bites through the flesh of my lips.

Better off dead. No man. I am no longer a man.

"A sinner."

"…a faggot are better off dead, before he destroys another man's soul."

I can't… I can't stop this any longer. I can't surprises these feelings anymore.

"I want you to watch, Zoro, watch and remember. Remember what it is God wanted you to see." The blacksmith placed himself in front of the crawling man. Yoske was crying. I tried to move, as the large man lifted his hammer up in the air, but the priest held me steady in place. "Watch and learn, young Zoro."

I'm better off dead.

Then suddenly I lost myself into that darkness. Flinging my eyes open, I know what to now. you'll hate me forever, but you'll then know why.

I want to set you free!

~.-.-.-.-.-.-.~

Waiting like a predator, I executed this madness of a plan, early in the morning. It was easy to get them up here at first this early in the morning, even before you would come to start on breakfast. It was way too easy to… put them to sleep. Of course it had to take a longer time for Luffy and Robin to get taken care off, but in the end they were taken care off too. Those look of betrayal and hatreds will forever haunt my mind, together with what I'm about to do with you.

You were now all alone in this early morning, together with this godforsaken predator. This disgusting faggot. I can hear your sleepy feet drag you up along the stairs. You have heard nothing above the music that Brook is playing on his violin up in the crows nest. Luffy asked him to play a joyous tune, before he wanted to settle things with me. Apparently he didn't want you or Brook to hear this either. My heart is thumbing even harder as you make your way to the door, opens it to get in and make breakfast, as you usually do… but today there wont be any breakfast. Today is where I will set you free.

Your visible eye widens as you look at me terrified, as you step inside the door and looks around. It makes my heart shatter for a moment, but only for a moment. You can't take all the blood? You can't take the silent bodies that lay around me? You don't understand why my sword are pulled and why I have so much blood on me too? But, don't you understand, that I only did this, to free you? So you and I can finally be together just for once?

"What the hell have you done?!" you say in disbelief, hoping that all of this is just some stupid nightmare, even though we both know it's pretty real. "What the fucking hell have you done, Zoro?!" You're taking a step forward, but then steps back as I come closer to you. You're shaking so much, but is it of rage or fear? I don't know, but I have to test you. You fall over Nami's body, your face paling and you finally scream and jump up to attack me in rage. We fight but it's a sloppy fight. I corner you up and grab your hands, the blade of my sword pressed against your throat. "If you have the gut to do it to the others," you spits at me, hatred burning like a blue fire in your eyes, I almost can sense that deadly leg of yours looming behind me "Then do it!"and that leg came, heel slamming down onto my shoulder. Fuck, you've gotten stronger through all these years. Something cracks in shoulder, but I grab your leg as it comes back down for a second time, one hand still holding your two smaller hands at bay, as I press that long leg of yours against your slender body. You're about to yell at me again, you're trying to push yourself away, trying to get free to no avail.

Then you freeze as I runs my hand down your slender but strong leg down to your tights, as I lean in to lick a tear away from the corner of your beautiful eye. You struggle in my hold, trying to kick me again, but I'm too close to you to do anything. Instead I kick your other foot away from underneath you, we fall to the ground and lands between the blood-spattered bodies of our nakama.

You scream in agony at them and at me, as I bind your hands together with my bloody bandana and up to Wado Ichimondi –she had to see what I have become like, she had to see me breaking down while I break you down as well. She will forever stand there where she's plunged into the floorboards, keeping you at place. I slid your tie off your slender neck as well and have to silence you. Can't have Brook to hear anything, now can we? Can't have him to come and ruin things, not when we're this far into this plan, not when I don't have that much time left. I pauses as the music from the violin pauses, as Brook undeniable are trying to listen for the source of that scream of yours, waiting to hear it again. Then the music starts again and I look back down at you.

You scream bloody murder at me through the clothes in your mouth, even though none of them are dead, just intoxicated by one of Chopper's medicine. Luffy was furious when I told them, about me, about you, about my disgusting feelings towards you. He even dared to call me a coward, that rubber-bastard. The blood? I have to chuckle. You don't even know what happened in here before you came, so don't ask. You think you do, but you don't. You don't have to know, not yet though.

I lean down whispering into your ear and once again you freeze. "I love you, Sanji, more than anything in this world. That's why I have to do it, so that you know it for sure. Before I will be all gone from you." As you turn your neck to look disbelievingly at me, I release your tie from your mouth, to catch your lips with my own and silence the screams and curses that would otherwise be shouted at me. "I want you," I whisper to you and slides my fingers inside of your pants, slowly pulling them off, "I want you so badly that it's making me crazy! I want you so much, Sanji" You cry and I don't blame you. You kick out trying to hit me and call me different things. You try to pull away, but without any luck. I want you and I won't let you go! Not this time, not anymore. This time, this moment, you are mine.

You keep struggling until realisation hits you hard; your nakama are dead, you think, and I want to make love with you in their blood… you think. I can feel that you're dying slowly; you're getting weak in my hold, slowly giving up. There's no hope, you think, though there are lots of hope when I first are gone, when I first have left you guys, deleted this disgusting animal of a faggot you're your crew. You whimper and lean your head down into the blood. I dive back down again, kissing you even deeper, tasting your mouth where a cut have make your lips bleed a little. Oh god, how this would have been wonderful if just you had been willing, if just this hadn't been a crime, if this hadn't been a forbidden love. I want this so much to last forever… but I can't, it's impossible. It's forbidden.

Faggots are not allowed in this world. I am not allowed in this world, and far from in this crew.

"Why?" you whisper, again and again, each time the same question sounds harder to ask. I remove your shirt a little and kiss your shoulder, you turn your face away in disgust, but I don't care, I just want you, right here and right now… later, would be too late!

"Because I love you," I tell you honestly as I kiss your neck, "Because I want to set you free," You sniffle, and I like the sound, every sound you make; in fear, in pain, while singing, in sadness, just simply speaking… I love your voice. I would like to hear it like this too, in passion.

I free you from your pants; you're too weak to move by now, even though you still try. Your sorrows have taken over and you're still asking the same question, again and again. And again I keep answering the same thing.

"What is freedom, if you can't share it with anyone?" You suddenly ask me. I just kiss you in answer, because I don't know what to answer. You'll be free, isn't that enough? You'll be free to live!

I pull my own pants down to free my libido -oh god how your skin feels soft. Oh Jesus how I wanted this to happen in a bed, to be able to feel your naked skin against my own. Our dicks are touching each other, you jump at the touch, too slowly realising what I am about to do to you. I love this feeling; the feeling of you naked, trembling underneath me... the feeling of your cold sweated skin against my hands, the feeling of our dick caressing each other, my hard one trying to live yours up. I turn you to face me, to look into your tear strained eyes. I push your hair aside to see both of the seas over floating. I lick your goatee, your chin, your little beard above your mouth, before catch your lips and kiss you hard, licks you while I tell you oh so many things. Your legs feels weak and tired, almost defeated as I lift them up to an impossible angle than only you can master. Damn fuck you're so sexy, even when you don't want to be, even when you're not trying to be it.

You're dying, I can feel it. You're dying slowly away from me and I have to heal it somehow.

You scream into my mouth as I enter you, you don't need any preparations; all you need is to feel me, feel my love, feel my passion and my need to have you. I have to silence you again with your black tie, because you're too loud. But I love the sounds you let escape, I love to listen to your screams and moans into the clothes. I move my hand to your sides so I can move faster, the blood on the floor gets smeared out in my palms and gives this love-scene a sickly colour.

I love you so much, but there were no other way to show it to you, other than this. I lean down and kiss you, shivers runs through my body as I hear your moans, not in pain, not in agony, put in lust even you are somehow enjoying this, or at least your body does. I want to remove the bandana from your mouth to hear it clearer, but if I do, they will wake up, Brook will hear and come to ruin it, and then there would be no more time left. Streams of tears come down your eyes and I lean closer to lick them away.

"Zhoro, noh~!" you cry into the piece of clothing, repeating the words over and over again. I slam harder and faster into you, the sounds slowly turning more distressing and weak. You bend your back as you're getting close, releasing a moan that my mind lustfully drinks. I can't wait to hear your beautiful voice as you orgasm. I can't wait… to leave you in passion.

I bite my lips, I almost can't see you. I curse as I'm slowly getting cold, even though we're in the middle of heated sex. The pain in my heart slowly overwhelms me, I cry and you realise it, as a drop of tear lands on your face. I can't breathe. It hurts… it hurts so much! You look shocked, I don't want you to have that look, I don't want you to feel sorry, I don't want those eyes to look that pity at me. My hand grabs your length and you moan out loud, forgetting my pain, and once again I drink every drop of your passionate sounds. I remove your tie and swallow your beautiful orgasm with my lips over yours, as you come. You whimper as I move a couple of times more inside of you. You cry as realisation gets thrown down on you again.

But Sanji, it would never had been a rape, if you had just wanted this, if you had just let me have you … right?

It would never have been forbidden love, a disgusting love, if just one of us had been of a different gender.

There would never have been any blood to splatter these floorboards… if I had been man enough to just ask you, to take your disgust, your hateful rejection. But I am not allowed to be here, not people like me. I have seen what they do to people like me.

It's getting harder to breathe. I feel so tired… I want to sleep.

Everything hurts.

Then I finally wakes up, really wakes up again.

I can't believe what I have done. I can't believe that I really have sunk this low. Fuck! I can't believe that I let my lust and feelings go this far. You should never know, none should ever have known about this, but now it's all too late.

Even Kuina must be disgusted at what I have done, and then using her sword for this. I have failed, as a human, as a man. I'm nothing but a bloody filthy faggot.

Stupid shitty fuck-head I AM!

Your teary eyes make me regret, your pale face make me want to touch you and say how sorry I am…sorry for all I have done. To you. To them.

Sorry… so fucking sorry… but I don't need words, you can read it all in my eye, but of course, you can't forgive me, now can you? I lean down to kiss you, and you let me… even when I let your hands free, you let me. You're even kissing me back, surprising me. No, that wasn't supposed to happen, those loving eyes weren't supposed to look like that at me. You should hate me. Not… not this!

Then that light disappears and you're nothing but a lifeless doll in my hands as I touch you, kiss you and tasting you all over again. Only your panting are telling me that you're still alive… at least more alive than I am.

I cough and blood lands in my hands, I gasp but my lungs are too tired to breathe properly. I feel so dizzy, I want to see your beautiful face, but it fades away, I can't see you. You let out a growl as I land heavy on your chest and you push me away, only to stare at me in shock. I'm sorry… I'm sorry to paint your beautiful milky chest, in my own disgusting blood.

"Zoro…?" I hear your trembling voice ask. I move a hand up to touch your face; so soft and so wet.

"I love you…Sanji," I tell you as I dry a tear away from your face, only to replace it with my own disgusting blood. "I love you so much… it hurts," Don't shake your head, let me explain. Don't look at me like that… it hurt so much in my heart.

"Why?" you cry and I can only smile. Why? Because you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, because you were the one I could count on in fights, when we stood back to back when facing the enemies.

"Because… you are, who you are," No? Why do you shake your head like that?

"Not what I meant, shit-head!" you sneer at me, "Why…why the fuck have you done this to yourself?" My thumb dries away the new tear from your eye. "I don't want to be alone! Why did you leave me all alone? Why did you kill everyone else, other than me? Why, damn fucking hell, WHY?!" I don't have to answer as you already have heard Luffy's yawn, as you already have seen your angel, as you call her, move and sit up. You widen your eyes and looks at me in surprise.

"I just," I feel so tired, "wanted to," so tired… "…set you free… from me…" My hand lands heavily on the floor. I hear Nami scream in horror and Luffy roar in anger and fear. And you? If I just could tell… if I could just see your face one last time… but now you're free… free from me, free from my sickly presence.

I gasp as my blood seeps out from the wound I hid under my black shirt. Why do you scream so much? Why do you all cry? You're not happy? Happy to be free of a faggot like me? Free of a weakling like me? You should smile, you should cheer, damn it Sanji! I just raped you! Why, why don't you kick me now, instead of connecting your lips to my own? I can't stop crying, I can't stop wanting, I can't stop screaming in my mind, what a fool I have been.

Sorry, Luffy, but you wouldn't be able to stop me…

I'm sorry Sanji, my angel, for ever having thoughts like these towards you, you're the ladies man, who only love women and not disgusting pigs like me.

"I… love you," I whisper and breathe out one last time before everything fades away. I can hear your desperate scream as darkness takes me in.

"Zoro! God damn it, Moss-head!" Don't cry, smile… smile my angel… you're free! Free of me!

Smile… please, smile and don't cry.

…smile…

~.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.~

To be continued

~.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.~