A/N: Birthday present for bad-touchery-trio on tumblr! Go give her some love for me.

Antonio watched as he knocked down countless people, innocents just trying protect their home. He watched, and he could do nothing as he slaughtered empires, for what? Gold? God? Glory? He tried to scream, tried to yell at himself to stop, tried to get it across to himself that this was wrong, but he could do nothing. He was helpless as his former self stood atop a mound of corpses and claimed the land for himself.

Antonio woke up panting, drenched in a cold sweat. It took a few minutes for him to orient himself, and he had to force himself to remember where he was. His bed, in his modern day home, with Romano sleeping next to him. He was safe

.

But he didn't feel safe. He felt wrong. He felt dirty. He felt like he was still covered in the blood of the people he conquered so long ago. Their screams echoed in his mind, piercing him like stab wounds, and he wanted to cry.

He didn't realize he actually was crying until he felt a shift in the bed and a gentle hand on his arm.

"Tonio? What's going on?" Lovino murmured sleepily.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep, amor." Lovino didn't go back to sleep. He sat up more and focused his gaze on him.

"Why're you crying?"

"It's n-nothing…" Antonio wiped his face, trying to brush the tears away. There was a hesitant pause, then a pair of slender arms wrapped around him, pulling him to the other's chest.

"Was it the dreams again?" Lovino always knew. Always. The boy knew him too well. Antonio broke down in sobs again, face buried in his chest. Normally, Lovino would yell at him for ruining his clothes, but not right now. Not when Antonio needed him.

"I-I'm a horrible person." He choked out.

"No you're not-"

"I am! I killed so many people, Lovi! So many." The tears weren't stopping, pouring down his face like the words out of his mouth. "They didn't even deserve it. I was just greedy and awful. I don't even deserve your love…"

"Don't you fucking dare say that." Lovino pushed him away a little to glare sharply. "You deserve my love and more. You-" He jabbed a finger in his chest for emphasis. "-are not your past. Do you really think you're the only nation with a dark past? Do you?" Antonio just stared back at him, making him huff. "You're not. Yeah, your past is shitty, but so is England's, so is America's, hell, so is mine! You're just as deserving of love as any of us, don't ever fucking doubt it."

Antonio stared at him, eyes wide and lip trembling. He let out a long breath and brought Lovino into a bone crushing hug.

"T-thank you…"

"Yeah, whatever, you big baby." Lovino patted his back and kissed his brow, not able to do much else due to how tight the hug was. "You wanna go back to sleep now?"

Antonio nodded weakly and pulled them both down. Lovino sighed and snuggled in, wrapping him in his arms. Antonio could only smile; Lovino always knew exactly what he needed.