Disclaimer: I don't own Fringe, or any of the characters. I just like to play with their personalities every now and then ;)
Pairing: AltLiv/Lincoln
AN: Spoilers up to 3x18, Bloodlines. I've been in love with this pairing since we were introduced to the Alt!Team, and now everything I love about them is kind of considered canon! This is a one shot, and I hope you enjoy it! Please review, I'd love to hear from you.
There was no getting around it. He was angry. He was angry at her, he was angry at himself. He was just so angry. The entire situation was just out of control. He didn't know what to think anymore. He was second guessing everyone and everything, and that's not what he needed right now. He needed some stability, and he thought she was the one person he could count on, but he couldn't, apparently.
He was angry at her for just abandoning the team, and for doing it so easily. It was so easy for her to just slip into someone else's life and play a part, like she wasn't capable of feeling anything at all. He was angry. It shouldn't have been so easy for her to do that. While he didn't know that he knew the other Olivia, now that he knew the truth, he wondered if she had done the right thing, if the Secretary had done the right thing. Was all this worth it? Was it worth it to ruin someone's life like that? To erase their memories and try to make them think that they were someone else? They were going to kill her once she found out who she really was.
Was it worth it that his Liv had nearly died giving birth to the Secretary's grandson? Was that really worth all the shit they were going through? There must be something special about this baby. He knew there was. It was Olivia's son, so he naturally felt protective, but he was still angry.
He was mostly angry at himself. He was angry that he could never tell the difference. And even though he wasn't supposed to, he felt bad for the other Olivia. He thought she was having a breakdown. And she was, and rightly so. He didn't think it was right, what they were doing. He didn't know how long he could keep this up before his conscience started to eat at him. He was mostly angry, though, that he couldn't tell the difference between his Liv and their Olivia. He had to refer to them with different names in his head now, and he hated it.
He almost wished he could go back to a time before he knew all of this. Multiple universes happened in movies, not in real life. But now he was fully involved. Head of the Fringe Division and prepared to take on everything. But was he really? He suspected that there was a reason that Broyles had put him in charge all that time ago, but he didn't want to analyze it. He just wanted to do his job, and do what was right. Right now though, those seemed like two things that were completely different.
The matter at hand consumed him, though. Liv had a baby. A baby boy, in fact, and one that she had named after him. Henry Lincoln Dunham. When she had told him, he felt so many emotions that he thought for a frightening moment that he might cry again. He didn't. He still had so many questions and was so angry with her for not telling him anything, but during that moment, when he had been with her while she had given birth, he had forgiven her for everything. When he thought he might never see her again, never hear her laugh or see her roll her eyes at him, he forgave her.
He had meant what he said. He loved her, he did. That was part of what made him so angry. He loved her, and had for so long, that you'd think he'd be able to tell if she had been replaced. He had just carried on as if everything was normal, believing everyone that had told him that she was just emotionally fragile. He had known deep down that something was wrong, but he had just chalked it up to the after affects of her breakdown, like everyone kept saying. Charlie had been right the entire time, and he had just dismissed one of his closest friend like his opinion didn't even matter.
He was angry and he knew that he should go somewhere and cool off, but he felt like he needed to do this. If he couldn't have any answers for some of the million things that he wanted to know, he needed an answer for this.
He was at her apartment. He knocked, and she had the door open in seconds, and before she could say anything, he was pushing his way inside. "Is Henry here?"
"No…" She said slowly, still holding the door open, "He's with my Mom. What's with you?"
"I have to talk to you." He said firmly, and he could tell she was confused, hell, he was confused too. That was the entire point of him rushing over here. To confront her. To get answers. To finally, finally figure out if something in his life was real.
"Okay…" She was saying everything slowly, cautiously, as if she were afraid that the wrong word or the wrong look could set him off. She had dealt with him when he was like this before, but it had never been directed at her, and that was throwing her off.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He blurted, and she physically take a step back. "Why didn't you tell me anything, Liv?" He asked her again, desperation lacing his voice.
She looked around, trying to find something to look at that wasn't him. "I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell anyone."
"You just… you just left us. And you did it knowingly. That's the thing. She apparently didn't have a choice. She was a prisoner."
"So you're siding with her now?" She raised her voice at him, not able to believe was she was hearing. She didn't hate Olivia. She even had her doubts about her mission and how the other Olivia was coping picking up the pieces of her life now. Everything was just so messed up, and something about Lincoln showing pity for a different version of her made her chest clench.
"Dammit, Liv. No! I'm not siding with her, because I thought she was you! I was worried about you, not her, and now I don't know what to think, and I just can't…" He trailed off and ran a hand through his messy hair.
It was silent. Just his harsh breathing could be heard in the room. It was unbearable. He took a step towards her and she took another step back, until her back was pressed against her front door.
"I couldn't tell you, Lincoln. I couldn't. I was under orders."
"I'm your commanding officer now, Olivia." He said, and she flinched when he used her full name. He hadn't called her that in a long time. Definitely not since the switch had been revealed. "So when I ask you a question, I want an answer. An honest one."
"We are not at work right now, Lincoln." She said, just as firmly, her eyes flashing up at him in anger.
He let out a breath and took another step forward. "I meant what I said to you when Henry was born."
She sucked in a breath and shut her eyes briefly.
"Look at me," He said, "Please." His head was swimming. He had forgotten all the well thought out questions he was going to ask her, and instead, was running on pure emotion. This was dangerous territory.
She looked up at him, and he moved closer to her. They were only inches apart now. "I had just learned that you weren't here for weeks. That I couldn't even tell that you were gone. And then you were pregnant, and he's the father, and you were dying… It was all happening at once."
She nodded, she understood. Things were moving way too fast. Including her pregnancy. She had thought that she was going to die as well, and for a few moments she had been the most scared she had ever been in her life. Somehow she had gotten through it, and she knew it was partly due to the fact that he had been there.
"What does Peter being the father have anything to do with me and you?" She asked, and immediately regretted it when she saw the tick in his jaw that he got when he was angry.
"I told you I love you, and you're really going to ask me that question?" The tick in his jaw was moving furiously and she had the strangest urge to reach out and touch it. She didn't.
"Linc…" She said quietly, and when she didn't, he threw his hands up in defeat.
"I don't know what to think anymore, Liv! Nothing is real anymore. Everything I know about the world is wrong. There's another universe! How am I supposed to react to that? Oh, my partner was replaced by someone who looks just like her, who had her memories implanted into her brain, and then proceeded to have a breakdown, which I just ignored and let the doctors deal with, only to find out that she wasn't my partner, who was in another universe, living someone else's life, sleeping with someone else's boyfriend and then almost died because of it."
Olivia cringed when she heard it put so bluntly. "Lincoln." She said again, softly, but he appeared to not hear her.
"It isn't normal. None of this is normal. You almost died in my arms, and I told you I love you, and I need to know if that actually matters to you after all of this."
"Of course it matters Lincoln, I just-"
"I know you have feelings for him. I know it. Henry wouldn't be here if you didn't." He tried to calm down, "I just need to know why. Was it just part of the mission for you? Or did you want to? Was it real for you?" He shouldn't have asked that. He didn't want to hear the answer. He was seriously contemplating jumping out of her apartment window, when he heard a small sound. She was crying. "No… Liv, no. I'm sorry." He said immediately, even though deep down he wasn't. At least she was showing some emotion about all this. Maybe she was starting to feel some of the stress that he had been feeling for days.
He reached out and took her hands, and led her to the couch in the middle of the room. They sat down and he pulled her into his arms, ignoring her protests that she was fine.
"Talk to me, Liv. Please." He begged her, and when she looked up into his bright eyes, she knew she needed to be honest with him.
"I loved him." She said honestly, and saw a look of hurt flash across his face. She hated herself for putting it here. "I did love him. I just… it started out as a mission but turned into more than that. And I shouldn't have let it."
"So what are you going to do?" He asked her, and she noticed that his voice was a little shaky.
"What am I going to do? I don't know. Nothing, I guess." She said, and she was aware that he hadn't let go of her hands yet.
After a long minute of thinking, Lincoln knew that being angry with her wasn't going to solve anything. "I still have a lot of questions, you know." He said, and before she could protest, he held a hand up to stop her. "I do love you. Don't doubt that, even when I'm angry with you. Even though I said it at the absolute last minute doesn't mean that I regret you knowing it now."
She shut her eyes for a second, letting his words wash over her. She felt like, deep down, that she could love Lincoln. If she had enough time to adjust to whatever her life was going to be now that she had a son, she could love him. "I'm going to need your help with Henry, you know." She said, a small smile on her face.
He let out a laugh that sounded like it was more full of relief than anything else, "I told you, Liv. There's no place else for me to be."
They both stared at each other when he said the same words he had spoken to her before he confessed his love to her. His smile slowly drifted off his face and he leaned towards her, her doing the same. "Linc…" She said quietly, and he looked into her eyes.
"Shh." Was all he said before their lips connected. She didn't want to sound cliché, but there was a definite spark there. She had always been curious before, when he had kissed her when she was with Frank, what it would have been like to kiss him for longer than a few seconds. Wanting her own share of questions to be answered, she pulled him closer.
He felt her arms go around his neck, and he let out a sigh of relief. She wasn't pushing him away, and she was deepening the kiss. All he could feel was her, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her half into his lap. He was kissing her long and passionately, like he had always dreamed of doing, and she was responding with equal fervor. He couldn't believe it.
They pulled apart, both panting in the quiet of the apartment, but neither of them moved away from each other. They were still tangled in each other, their foreheads resting against each other's. "Liv…" He said slowly, trying to gauge her reaction.
"I want to be happy again." She said, and he frowned, a concerned look written on his face. "I need you to help me try to be happy again." She clarified, and he smiled.
"I can do that." He brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes and brought her hand up to his lips. "I can do that." He repeated, softer this time.
"Good." She said, smiling at him. Things were looking up, she thought. They both had a lot of questions left unanswered, but they knew, that with at least the question of "them" answered, they could try to move on.
END.
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