Title: An Unexpected Future
Spoiler: everything up to Cry your name
Summary: Liz separates herself from the rest of the group
and becomes depressed after Alex dies, but nobody really
notices how far back from the group she has been able to
pull herself because everyone has someone else to turn to.
But Liz has no one. M/L (tiny bit of M/T in the beginning)
M/M
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Chapter One: And Nobody Noticed
Liz sat in the Crashdown organizing pictures for a
collage of Alex in the yearbook. The Crashdown was
closed and it was raining outside. Liz's was trying hard to
keep her mind focused, but it kept traveling back to the
past. She put on some music and the song that came on was She cries your name, by Beth Orton. It was the song
playing when Alex did his little strip tease for Isabel on her
birthday.
Liz hadn't yet cried over Alex because she had to be
strong for her friends. But no one could see that Liz was
slowly dieing inside. She'd lost the sparkle in her eyes. Her
eyes no longer held anything. They were empty. Nothing
mattered anymore.
Liz glanced at the center of the Crashdown and she
saw Alex dancing around in that police outfit, stripping for
Isabel. She let out a weak laugh and then fell into a booth
crying. She brought her knees to her chest and hid her face
in her knees. She let herself fall over and lay down on the
booth seat and cry. She cried herself to sleep. And she cried
all night long.
The next morning Jeff Parker walked into the
restaurant section of the building ready to open up when he
noticed Liz sleeping in one of the booths.
"Liz...Lizzie?" Jeff shook her a little.
"Huh? Oh, dad!" Liz shot up and for a second forgot she
was in the Crashdown.
"Liz, why are you in here?" Jeff asked.
"Oh, I-uh, I must've fallen asleep while working on the
collage." Liz lied.
"Oh, ok well I was just about to open up so if you could
take this stuff upstairs, that would be great, thanks
sweetie." Jeff kissed Liz on the forehead before going to
unlock the front door. Liz gathered up all the pictures and
walked up to her apartment. She opened her bedroom door
and went and lay down on her bed staring at the ceiling
with a blank look taking over her face.
About 10 minutes later, Nancy, Liz's mom, knocked
on Liz's door and asked, "Liz, are you up? You have to get
ready for school, honey." School, Liz had totally forgotten
about school.
"Yah mom I'm coming." Great now how can I
faceeveryone? Liz thought, 'here all going to look to me for
comfort.' Liz groaned then pulled the covers off of her and
got ready for the long day ahead.
*** At school everyone was so sad, and there was a podium
with a picture of Alex and flowers all around it, and about 7
students surrounded it. Liz walked up to it, not even
reflecting a speck of emotion. By the time she reached it
the other students had cleared away and she stood facing a
picture of her diseased best friend.
Liz ran her hand over the picture and whispered so
quietly you almost couldn't hear her, almost. "God Alex,
I'm so sorry. I never should have brought you into this. It's
all my fault. I'm so sorry. I should have just let you go. I
can't believe you gone and it's all my fault. I was being so
selfish. I wish I could go back in time and never have told
you anything about Max, Michael and Isabel. Then maybe
you'd still be alive. You would be able to live a long and
happy life. Grow old, fall in love have kids, maybe even
become a famous musician. But no, I had to be selfish and
take that away from you because I didn't want to lose your
friendship. Oh God, I killed you. Alex, please, can you ever
forgive me? I love you and I'm sorry." And one single tear
ran down Liz's cheek as she turned around and walked
away to go to her first class. But Liz didn't notice the
person standing on the other side of the podium who heard
every thing she just said. And she never noticed him
watching her walk away with a terrible sadness in his eyes.
But then Tess touched his arm and looked at him with those
piercingly blue eyes and he remembered that Liz blamed
Alex's death on aliens and he pushed his sadness to the
back of his mind and smiled down at Tess, took her hand in
his and walked away. Never one realizing that that would
be the last time anyone saw any emotion in Liz parker for a
long time.
***
That afternoon, Liz was at work when Maria walked
in from the staff lounge. Maria hardly even acknowledged
Liz's presence. She was so torn up; the only person she
spent any time with anymore was Michael.
It seemed everyone had someone to turn to. Maria and
Michael had each other. Max and Tess had each other. And
Isabel and Kyle had each other. Strange as it was, Isabel
and Kyle seemed to form a new friendship during this sad
time. But Liz, Liz had no one. No one was there for her.
'No one cares about how I feel,' she thought. 'Everyone is
to caught up in their own pain to notice me.' And that's
when things started to go down hill for Liz.
Aside from Alex's death, Liz started to realize how
horribly bad her life was. She started to think really bad
things about herself. Like she was ugly, no one likes her,
she was too fat, stuff like that.
Liz hadn't had any real contact with her friends in
almost a month. Just a hello in the halls at school and little
how are you, at work. But nobody seemed to notice Liz's
attitude, or lack there of. It was just all too much for Liz.
Losing Max indefinitely and then losing her best friend all
in the same week. And then having her other best friend
hardly even acknowledge she was alive, completely threw
Liz over the edge.
Crying herself to sleep became a nightly ritual for Liz
lately, so when her eyes got all water out of nowhere one
night it was of no surprise to her. She fell asleep crying and
woke up to a damp pillow cover, but none of this fazed her.
She got up and got cleaned up and got dressed and went to
school.
When she got there everyone was huddled in there
little groups whispering about something, but she never
caught on. It wasn't until lunchtime that someone finally
approached her to tell her that rumor she didn't know
existed.
Someone tapped Liz on the shoulder and Liz whipped
her head around to come face to face with Pam Troy.
"Hey Liz there's something I have to tell you." Pam said in
a devious little voice that meant she was going to try and
tell Liz something that would hurt her.
"What is it Pam?" Liz asked devoid of emotion. She didn't
care what Pam Troy had to say.
"Guess who slept together?" She paused for a moment
waiting for Liz to react but she didn't.
"Who?" Liz asked not really caring but now that she new
art of the rumor she might as well know the whole thing.
"Oh, you're going to love this. Max and Tess!" Pam said
with an evil grin on her face. If anything would get Liz's
attention it was that. No doubt Liz's face played a whole
mix of emotion's, for the first time in public for around a
month. Sadness, fear, anger, hate devastation then .
nothing.
The rest of the day was a complete blank. Liz walked
around the school completely zoned out. She was
destroyed. Max her first love, her only true love, whom she
saved herself for (although of course Max never knew this
fact), now loved another and has proven his love for her
with the most sacred act of love between two people. How
could she ever get over this?
That night Liz was in her room looking at the one this
she had left of Max, the army knife she gave him, engraved
with the words 'Max and Liz 4ever.' She had given it to
him as a present, but he gave it back to her after her saw
her in bed with Kyle.
Liz was in so much pain she couldn't' even fathom it.
She opened the army knife and looked at the knife portion,
mesmerized by it. She lowered the blade and dragged it
along her wrist, the cool metal just barely grazing her skin.
'Should I, or shouldn't I?' Liz asked herself. Then all of a
sudden it was like some unknown force edge her to push
harder on the knife and cut.
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
To focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails
Spoiler: everything up to Cry your name
Summary: Liz separates herself from the rest of the group
and becomes depressed after Alex dies, but nobody really
notices how far back from the group she has been able to
pull herself because everyone has someone else to turn to.
But Liz has no one. M/L (tiny bit of M/T in the beginning)
M/M
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Chapter One: And Nobody Noticed
Liz sat in the Crashdown organizing pictures for a
collage of Alex in the yearbook. The Crashdown was
closed and it was raining outside. Liz's was trying hard to
keep her mind focused, but it kept traveling back to the
past. She put on some music and the song that came on was She cries your name, by Beth Orton. It was the song
playing when Alex did his little strip tease for Isabel on her
birthday.
Liz hadn't yet cried over Alex because she had to be
strong for her friends. But no one could see that Liz was
slowly dieing inside. She'd lost the sparkle in her eyes. Her
eyes no longer held anything. They were empty. Nothing
mattered anymore.
Liz glanced at the center of the Crashdown and she
saw Alex dancing around in that police outfit, stripping for
Isabel. She let out a weak laugh and then fell into a booth
crying. She brought her knees to her chest and hid her face
in her knees. She let herself fall over and lay down on the
booth seat and cry. She cried herself to sleep. And she cried
all night long.
The next morning Jeff Parker walked into the
restaurant section of the building ready to open up when he
noticed Liz sleeping in one of the booths.
"Liz...Lizzie?" Jeff shook her a little.
"Huh? Oh, dad!" Liz shot up and for a second forgot she
was in the Crashdown.
"Liz, why are you in here?" Jeff asked.
"Oh, I-uh, I must've fallen asleep while working on the
collage." Liz lied.
"Oh, ok well I was just about to open up so if you could
take this stuff upstairs, that would be great, thanks
sweetie." Jeff kissed Liz on the forehead before going to
unlock the front door. Liz gathered up all the pictures and
walked up to her apartment. She opened her bedroom door
and went and lay down on her bed staring at the ceiling
with a blank look taking over her face.
About 10 minutes later, Nancy, Liz's mom, knocked
on Liz's door and asked, "Liz, are you up? You have to get
ready for school, honey." School, Liz had totally forgotten
about school.
"Yah mom I'm coming." Great now how can I
faceeveryone? Liz thought, 'here all going to look to me for
comfort.' Liz groaned then pulled the covers off of her and
got ready for the long day ahead.
*** At school everyone was so sad, and there was a podium
with a picture of Alex and flowers all around it, and about 7
students surrounded it. Liz walked up to it, not even
reflecting a speck of emotion. By the time she reached it
the other students had cleared away and she stood facing a
picture of her diseased best friend.
Liz ran her hand over the picture and whispered so
quietly you almost couldn't hear her, almost. "God Alex,
I'm so sorry. I never should have brought you into this. It's
all my fault. I'm so sorry. I should have just let you go. I
can't believe you gone and it's all my fault. I was being so
selfish. I wish I could go back in time and never have told
you anything about Max, Michael and Isabel. Then maybe
you'd still be alive. You would be able to live a long and
happy life. Grow old, fall in love have kids, maybe even
become a famous musician. But no, I had to be selfish and
take that away from you because I didn't want to lose your
friendship. Oh God, I killed you. Alex, please, can you ever
forgive me? I love you and I'm sorry." And one single tear
ran down Liz's cheek as she turned around and walked
away to go to her first class. But Liz didn't notice the
person standing on the other side of the podium who heard
every thing she just said. And she never noticed him
watching her walk away with a terrible sadness in his eyes.
But then Tess touched his arm and looked at him with those
piercingly blue eyes and he remembered that Liz blamed
Alex's death on aliens and he pushed his sadness to the
back of his mind and smiled down at Tess, took her hand in
his and walked away. Never one realizing that that would
be the last time anyone saw any emotion in Liz parker for a
long time.
***
That afternoon, Liz was at work when Maria walked
in from the staff lounge. Maria hardly even acknowledged
Liz's presence. She was so torn up; the only person she
spent any time with anymore was Michael.
It seemed everyone had someone to turn to. Maria and
Michael had each other. Max and Tess had each other. And
Isabel and Kyle had each other. Strange as it was, Isabel
and Kyle seemed to form a new friendship during this sad
time. But Liz, Liz had no one. No one was there for her.
'No one cares about how I feel,' she thought. 'Everyone is
to caught up in their own pain to notice me.' And that's
when things started to go down hill for Liz.
Aside from Alex's death, Liz started to realize how
horribly bad her life was. She started to think really bad
things about herself. Like she was ugly, no one likes her,
she was too fat, stuff like that.
Liz hadn't had any real contact with her friends in
almost a month. Just a hello in the halls at school and little
how are you, at work. But nobody seemed to notice Liz's
attitude, or lack there of. It was just all too much for Liz.
Losing Max indefinitely and then losing her best friend all
in the same week. And then having her other best friend
hardly even acknowledge she was alive, completely threw
Liz over the edge.
Crying herself to sleep became a nightly ritual for Liz
lately, so when her eyes got all water out of nowhere one
night it was of no surprise to her. She fell asleep crying and
woke up to a damp pillow cover, but none of this fazed her.
She got up and got cleaned up and got dressed and went to
school.
When she got there everyone was huddled in there
little groups whispering about something, but she never
caught on. It wasn't until lunchtime that someone finally
approached her to tell her that rumor she didn't know
existed.
Someone tapped Liz on the shoulder and Liz whipped
her head around to come face to face with Pam Troy.
"Hey Liz there's something I have to tell you." Pam said in
a devious little voice that meant she was going to try and
tell Liz something that would hurt her.
"What is it Pam?" Liz asked devoid of emotion. She didn't
care what Pam Troy had to say.
"Guess who slept together?" She paused for a moment
waiting for Liz to react but she didn't.
"Who?" Liz asked not really caring but now that she new
art of the rumor she might as well know the whole thing.
"Oh, you're going to love this. Max and Tess!" Pam said
with an evil grin on her face. If anything would get Liz's
attention it was that. No doubt Liz's face played a whole
mix of emotion's, for the first time in public for around a
month. Sadness, fear, anger, hate devastation then .
nothing.
The rest of the day was a complete blank. Liz walked
around the school completely zoned out. She was
destroyed. Max her first love, her only true love, whom she
saved herself for (although of course Max never knew this
fact), now loved another and has proven his love for her
with the most sacred act of love between two people. How
could she ever get over this?
That night Liz was in her room looking at the one this
she had left of Max, the army knife she gave him, engraved
with the words 'Max and Liz 4ever.' She had given it to
him as a present, but he gave it back to her after her saw
her in bed with Kyle.
Liz was in so much pain she couldn't' even fathom it.
She opened the army knife and looked at the knife portion,
mesmerized by it. She lowered the blade and dragged it
along her wrist, the cool metal just barely grazing her skin.
'Should I, or shouldn't I?' Liz asked herself. Then all of a
sudden it was like some unknown force edge her to push
harder on the knife and cut.
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
To focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails