A/N: This is a sequel to Xanjen's one-shot You'll Never Know. You should really read that one first. In case you don't realize, the italicized words are from Dave's note… Starts with Kurt/Blaine but eventual Kurtofsky. If this surprises you, then you don't know me very well. ;)

Don't Cry For Me

Kurt stared at the book in front of him, but the words he saw were not from his AP Biology textbook.

Hey Kurt… Look…before you say anything or run away or call security or something, let me talk…

He rubbed his eyes, not even caring that he might be damaging the delicate skin underneath. Usually he was very careful. Even if he was only 17, there was no sense in not protecting his skin from early wrinkles. Waiting until forty was just too late. But today he didn't care. He just wanted to forget the words on that scrap of paper. It had been two weeks since his world had turned upside down.

Two weeks since they lost at Regionals.

Two weeks since Blaine had kissed him.

Two weeks since he found the crumpled note.

I just wanted to say…I'm really sorry. I know I'm not some Shakespeare with words, and I'm kinda crappy at apologizing, but at least you're getting something…

It wasn't just the note that was haunting him. Kurt had gotten misty-eyed over it a little, but it wasn't his tears that caused the ink to blur on the paper. And that was the picture he couldn't get out of his mind… David Karofsky trying to get up enough nerve to apologize to him and finally walking in, note in hand, only to see Blaine and him kissing… the shock, the pain, the tears streaming down his face.

Kurt should have been freaked out at the thought. David Karofsky was there… in his safe place, watching him. But all he could feel was his heart being ripped out.

I'm sorry for being a douche to you all the time and bullying you and shoving you. I'm pretty sure we both know why I did it…but it's still stupid that I did. I guess I'm just scared, y'know?

Kurt knew that feeling… There were many times he felt alone… not really accepted by anyone. How could others really understand? The fear that he would never be loved or that he couldn't even be friends with a straight guy without everyone thinking he was a perv. (Thanks to Finn and his dad for that.) Not that he excused Karofsky for all his bullying. There was no excuse for it. But still he understood the pain…

I mean…you know the people in this town. They would never accept me. So I've just gotta go about my life and just be some straight dude and the only way I can keep up my image is to torment others. I guess I thought that if I bullied you, I'd be known as the straightest dude ever. I guess I kind of let that slip.

Why couldn't he just forget about it? Forget about Karofsky and the note? Why did he read the thing over and over? Even though he now had it memorized, he read the words from the paper every night. Touching the words… the tearstains… so he wouldn't forget. Why did he torture himself? He had what he wanted. He had Blaine.

"Hey, Kurt…"

Startled out of his thoughts, Kurt glanced up at his boyfriend. He couldn't help the smile on his face. Blaine was so handsome and sweet. He was looking at Kurt like he was the only boy in the world. "Hey," he replied.

Blaine kissed him softly before sitting down. "Are you studying? Or willing the pages to turn by themselves?"

Kurt smiled absently. "Hmmm?"

"You've been reading the same page for the last 10 minutes." He brushed Kurt's hair away from his face.

Kurt resisted the urge to push his fingers away. He hated when anyone messed with his hair. When they were kissing and stuff… well that was different. Right now, he just needed him to stop touching his hair.

"Have you been spying on me, Blaine?"

"Spying… admiring… same thing, right?"

And for somereason that made him think of Karofsky.

I'm sorry for taking your first kiss too. If that even was your first kiss. Weren't you, like, dating that Brittany chick before? That didn't make any sense. Whatever. It was wrong of me, I guess. It was an impulsive thing for me to do. It's not fair. To either of us. You didn't deserve to have that forced upon you like that. I mean, I'm pretty sure you've never kissed a dude before, and I guess I took that from you. I feel like a really big douchebag.

Blaine placed his hand on his shoulder, squeezing to get his attention. "Kurt?"

"Sorry, I guess my mind is still on my biology test."

"Really? Because I didn't know that cell division made you sad."

Kurt sighed, placing his hand over Blaine's. "You have my full attention now," he said with a smile.

"Good… we need to talk."

Suddenly Kurt felt his chest squeeze tightly. Was Blaine breaking up with him? Had he really driven away the only boy who showed him any attention?

But Kurt…the thing is…I love you. Don't say anything. Please. It's stupid, it's childish, elementary, the crap that only happens in books. I'm afraid of love. Of loving you. Because it sucks. I can't do anything about it. You don't love me. I can't be you, dude. I can't prance around school in fancy outfits and spread rainbows everywhere I walk.

No, he would not think about Karofsky. The jock didn't really love Kurt. It was just some obsession or whatever. Blaine was his boyfriend, and he needed to fix this.

"That sounds ominous, Blaine."

"I just… I don't know what's going with you, Kurt. You've been so distant… and upset about something. Is this still about Pavarotti? Or about losing Regionals? I thought that having each other would be enough for you. Maybe this was a mistake."

Kurt couldn't take the pain in his boyfriend's eyes. He gently touched the side of his face. "Blaine, I'm sorry. It's not really about Regionals. Just watching New Directions perform… I guess I just miss my friends. It's not that I don't love being a Warbler, I just miss my old Glee Club. Can you understand that?" It wasn't all that was bothering him, but Kurt couldn't tell him about Karofsky. For some reason he felt the need to protect his former bully. Why was that?

Not everyone's as strong as they look on the outside.

"I do understand, but please don't shut me out."

"I care about you so much, Blaine," he whispered as he kissed him softly.

Blaine wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. "I care about you, too, Kurt." He deepened the kiss and Kurt responded eagerly.

This was what he needed. Blaine's sweet kisses. Only… a small part of him… very small… compared Blaine's gentle kisses with the fierce, passionate, unwanted kiss Karofsky had given him that fateful day.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is…I'm really sorry for everything. I never meant the death threat, yet again another act of fear and impulse.

He just needed to forget about Karofsky.

I'm never going to hurt you again.

And focus on his wonderful boyfriend, and his wonderful life…

I guess you're happy at this rainbow school. I can't say I miss shoving you into lockers, but I do miss you.

Unfortunately, there was still that tiny, tiny part of him that couldn't forget Karofsky's words… he felt his eyes watering.

I'm such a chick.

On some levels he could definitely relate to the other boy. He might be an honorary girl but he was pretty sure crying about another boy while kissing his boyfriend was not appropriate.

Blaine pulled back with a sigh, as he reached up to wipe the tears off of Kurt's face. The wetness had rubbed off onto Blaine's cheek, and it reminded Kurt of how crazy he was acting.

"I'm such a mess. Please just give me some time? This is all new to me…"

"It's new to me, too, Kurt, but I'm not crying." He ran his fingers through his hair, messing up his perfectly jelled curls. "Sorry, I just feel frustrated because I don't know how to help you."

"Blaine… I wish I could explain it better…"

I'm bad with words…but I hope I got at least some of my feelings out.

"It's fine, Kurt," he said as he gave him a small kiss. Kurt could tell that it wasn't fine… not by a long shot. "I'll just give you some time."

He walked out, leaving Kurt alone and feeling worse.

I'll stay out of your life.

As the last few lines of the letter came back to him, he realized that was why he was so upset. The letter was so sad… so resigned. He had no doubt that Karofsky was giving up. And that was before he saw him kissing Blaine. It had been two weeks. And Kurt had done nothing. Even knowing that Karofsky was upset, depressed, possibly desperate… Kurt should have done something.

But he just let him go… never saying a word… and maybe now it was too late…

Bye…

TBC