Wrote some random (probably really bad) hurt-comfort one night and forgot about it...so I finally got around to posting it.
"Ivan, are you okay-?"
From behind the door he screams, "Leave me alone!"
"Ivan-"
"Leave!" The agonized shout does not scare him. It is more of the hateful tone that he has not heard- not heard for forty years that has been buried in the deepest recesses of his mind.
Carefully heeding the advice given, he does just that and opens the front door (their front door, he reminds himself), letting himself out onto the street and shutting it quietly. The street is silent, and he wonders why. It's more of the muffled frightened sound in a deserted town, which he knows isn't true. Continuing down the street, he ponders their argument.
It's the kind of argument that takes place between any two nations. He knows their people hate him, but it never occurred to him they'd discuss it, let alone argue about it. Insults were hurled across the room, like volleys of arrows between two opposing armies. Something wells up inside of him, like that old hate-he smothers it quickly, but it sickens him like the taste of bile.
Are they really that incompatible? He though they could move past that, perhaps, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. Musing on this, he comes to stand under a light-post in silence. The unfamiliar street is deserted, and he wonders why briefly.
It occurs to him that he might be lost. This is brushed aside with a mental uneasy chuckle and a quick reassessment of his surroundings.
No, he's sure he could find his way back to his (their) Moscow apartment, if he so chose. No, he can think some more in the quiet.
He does love him, he is (nearly almost sort of) sure, and (maybe hopefully please) he loves him too. Maybe. It's not his fault completely, after all. The natural instinct to defend rises again but he suppresses it as well. Perhaps it is his fault again, just like it is for so many other nations. But this time, as his brother would say, concerns l'amour. And of course that matters so much more in this world of hate and violence and death. Love is what ties them together, but it is so painful and hard, he'd rather things were simple and straightforward like they used to be-
Heavy breathing and heavy footfalls can be heard behind him, and he turns to see a panting, red-cheeked Russia running towards him, clunky boots hitting the concrete with a dull thud sound.
He is immediately gathered up into a hug by the taller Russian and is chastised in Russian. "дурак, what are you doing out in the snow?" Suddenly realizing he has indeed been walking around while it has been snowing, he lets him pull him close and share his body heat.
"Stupid, silly little Подсолнечник, why did you leave me?" The words are softer now with stifled emotion, and he stifles a smile.
"I never really left." Poking his broad chest over where his heart would be, he lets him wrap the other half of his scarf around his neck and takes his hand.
"I'm sorry, Подсолнечник, I-"
"It's okay. Don't ruin the moment."
"Da."
And it is a good moment, walking home in the powdery snow with his Russia, together quietly in the unbreakable silence that pervades the space behind them.
Yes, it wasn't so bad to be in love.
D'aww...I know it sucked but at least it made me happy...
To the people who stalk/put me on alert/vaguely care that I exist: No, I didn't forget about you, but I was on my other account (damn writer's block) and then wrote a whole frickin' story on figment (my longest original story so far, I think!), and now I've got three non-fanfiction projects on my plate that I really like.
So, I'm not leaving fanfiction (dot net), but I'm going to be exremely terribly impossibly slow with any and all updates or new postings. Sorry...it's for a good reason!
And now for a word from our sponsor (shameless self-advertisement): I've entered a contest (go heart it and make an account on figment) and I've got a new sci-fi story that I'm working on that I'm hopeful will turn into a novella (cross your fingers!).
Favorite if you liked, review if you have a comment, both make me so happy I could die (Lady Gaga song alert what?) and just having this read makes me die a little. In a good way, I think. ;)