.It was an average day at the park, the sun was shining illuminating the beautiful greenery that public park had to offer the birds chirping welcoming the visitors who came to enjoy the fresh air on such a beautiful day. Unfortunately the day wasn't so bright for our favorite bluejay and raccoon who were currently walking out of the park gates suitcases in hand. Today was the day that neither had ever expected, you see today was the day mordecai and rigby were fired.
What you ask terminated their employment at the park, well for some reason mordecai and rigby thought it would be a brilliant idea to invite Margaret and Eileen to go swimming at the lake, and long story short they managed p flood half of the park and destroying the docs in the process. Now here they were jobless, homeless, single, and not a penny to their name. The duo sighed collapsing against the coffee shop wall causing the many advertisements that were hung above them to fall on their lap.
Rigby groaned brushing the many papers off of him until one of the bright yellow page caught his eye, the font was in a deep shade of purple and the name of the advertisement was ripped from the paper but that wasn't what caught his attention what did was the "no experience necessary" in great big letters at the bottom of the paper.
"Dude mordecai check it" rigby said excitedly pushing the paper into the bluejay's face.
Mordecai pulled the paper from rigby's hand reading over the advertisement before pulling off a slip of paper with the phone number and opening up his cheap prepaid flip phone that he spent a moth saving up to buy and began dialing the number.
"Worth a shot dude" mordecai stated placing the phone in between him and rigby so they could both hear.
The phone rang three times before a very nervous sounding man picked up the phone.
"Hello please state your name" the man spoke the sound of papers fumbling around in the background along with a loud crash.
"Hello my name is mordecai and this is my friend rigby were calling to answer your ad about the internship program" mordecai replied in a very professional tone really hoping to get this job.
"Ok mordecai and rigby please wait there and we will have jailbot pick you up oh and welcome to the SUPERJAIL staff" the man stated before the phone went dead.
Mordecai and rigby looked at each other in confusion at what just happened. Could this man be for real or was this just a giant prank and what the heck is superjail? These thoughts ran through mordecai and rigby's mind until a very strange sound came from behind them.
The duo turned just in time to see two giant robot arms latch onto mordecai's wing and rigby's tail, they watched in horror as the mailbox that contained the protruding arms turned into a tombstone shaped robot that lifted them high in the air the strange song of coming home came from somewhere that neither mordecai nor rigby could place. The robot carried them over various and extremely strange worlds the last one being a purple cloud in the shape of a man's face leading them to a large volcano with rainbows protruding from the structure.
Mordecai and rigby felt horror when the robot released its death grip on the duo dropping them through the air only to be caught in the mouth of a strange bird like structure with a puppet head. They were then carried though a horrific ride much more intense than any rollercoaster created by man only to land in a large unique colored office furnished with rainbow carpets and a solar system ceiling, it resembled that of either a very creative or completely insane man child. Mordecai and rigby fell to the floor still dizzy from the horrific ride that they just encountered, they were just thankful to actually be on solid ground.
Mordecai was the first to look up just in time to see a very tall man draped in a bright purple suit with a pink bowtie and cumber bun that reminded the bluejay of Willy Wonka along with a very short fidgety man that mordecai assumed was the man he talked on the phone with. The tall purple clad man smiled at the duo with childlike glee revealing his gaped tooth grin that was the trademark for almost everything in superjail. The warden eagerly walked over to rigby picking him up, paying no mind to how much rigby squirmed in his grip.
"Ooh Jared look a raccoon so adorable quick bring me a knife I can't wait to skin him alive and make him into a hat" the man said making every hair on rigby's body stand up in fear as he tried to squirm out of the obvious madman's grip.
"Wait sir that isn't a hat those are the new recruits for superjail's intern program" Jared said trying to reason with the man and prevent the poor raccoon from being turned into a coat before he even started his job.
"OH" the man exclaimed dropping rigby who scurried over to hide behind mordecai down and brushed the wrinkles off of his shirt "well I am the warden and I would personally like to welcome you to superjail" the warden stated that same smile spreading across his features.
"What the heck is superjail" mordecai asked trying to comfort his traumatized friend who hid in fear behind him.
"You have never heard of superjail!? Superjail is the largest prison in dimension B4612" the warden said enthusiastically pulling the curtains from the giant window revealing the gargantuan prison that appeared to be pulled out of the insane mind of a homicidal overgrown man child that obliviously was the purple clad warden taking in a moment to bask at the site of his great legacy.
Mordecai and rigby looked at the window just in time to see a giant purple blimp with the warden's trademark face plastered on the front graze against one of the many yellow building and crash straight into a group of inmates. The warden sat at his desk kicking his feet up at the desk throwing his cane that went flaccid on the hook.
"Jared please escort them to their new room so they can unpack before work…and gentleman welcome to superjail" the warden said turning around in his swivel chair to look out at his precious jail.
Mordecai and rigby followed the short man down many corridors until they reached one of the many yellow doors opening it to reveal the very large room draped in purple. The room included a kitchenette, a small living room furnished with a love seat, flat screen TV and coffee table with a single bedroom and bathroom in the back.
"Sorry we couldn't give you separate rooms but we have to remodel the other rooms due to the last prison riot, until the other rooms are rebuild you will have to share, your uniforms are in the back but I think their might be a slight problem with yours rigby thanks to the twins, you will meet them later" Jared explained before walking out of the room closing the door behind him.
Mordecai and rigby looked at each other walking into the master bedroom to see the two uniforms folded neatly on the purple and yellow silk sheets of the king sized bed. Mordecai walked into the bathroom sliding on the blue dress pants buttoning up the shirt tying his tie. He looked at himself in the mirror and was taken aback by the change in his demeanor, he looks so professional. The bluejay smiled thinking this job might actually work out until he hear a whine from the bedroom,
Mordecai curiously walked into the room to see rigby looking at himself in the mirror pouting with a blush tinting his features. Mordecai noticed the outfit was the same as his except a mistake was instead of pants he was wearing a very short skirt. Mordecai blushed at the thought of running his hands over rigby's sides and ruining that new uniform.
"Do I really have to wear this girls outfit" Rigby whined adjusting the skirt to hide the pink panties that came with the uniform, Mordecai shook the thoughts out of his head and walked over to rigby turning the raccoon to face him.
"I think it suits you dude" mordecai stated cupping rigby's chin moving for the raccoon to face him.
Rigby blushed leaning closer to mordecai their faces so close to each other. Suddenly out of nowhere a loud knock was heard at the door interrupting their moment. Mordecai sighed cursing whoever interrupted this moment and walked to the door to reveal a tall muscular looking "woman" standing their "her" uniform matching rigby's with a very noticeable bulge in the skirt.
"Alright ladies the cafeteria had another accident and the warden wants you two to clean it up" the husky voice of the brutish "woman" spoke handing the duo each a mop before walking out of the room the new employees following "her" like two lost puppies still taken aback by the size of this jail.
Alice led them to a set of double doors pushing them open to reveal the extremely grotesque site before them. The room was covered with bodies varying from dismembered, burned, decapitated, disemboweled, melted, half eaten, disfigured, stabbed beaten to death, etc. mordecai had to hold back his vomit, while rigby fell to his knees overwhelmed by the grotesque site before him.
"Oh my god" rigby said in a strained voice trying to hold back the urge to run out of the room.
Entrails hung from the ceiling blood dripping from them forming puddles of the crimson liquid on the tile floors. Mordecai stepped back realizing that he was standing in the large puddle, in horror seeing that his feet were already soaked. He back to far away tripping over one of the decapitated cafeteria ladies, millions of cooking utensils lodged the her back, only to fall into a pile of convicts his head inches from the running chainsaw lodged in yet another rotting corpse.
Mordecai looked over noticing rigby having one of his panic attacks much like when he is trapped in small spaces, he knew he had to help the raccoon, sure he was about to piss himself but rigby was in far worse shape than him. Mordecai raised up slowly walking over to the short raccoon trying his best not to slip in the crimson liquid under his feet. He dropped down to rigby level placing both hands on rigby's shoulder looking into his emerald eyes.
Rigby was panting heavily looking around at the mess around him losing his breath at the retched rotting stench of decaying flesh that filled the large room. Mordecai shook rigby slightly trying to get the raccoon's attention, he knew rigby was scared but he can't let rigby have a panic attack, not here, not now. Rigby was beyond scared he was terrified all he wanted to do was to go home, this was too much.
"Rigby please listen to me, you need to calm down dude, everything is going to be alright I am right here, nothing is going to hurt you" with each words of comfort rigby's breaths began to slow down his eyes locking with the sky blue ones.
"Dude things will be just fine man all we have to do is clean this up and it will be all over man…this is no worse than what we go through on a daily basis" mordecai reasoned rubbing the raccoon's shoulder.
Rigby swallowed the lump in his throat managing to nod in agreement his nerves still a little uneasy but he knew it had to be done they were both broke and in need of this job it was the only way that he could stay close to mordecai besides he knew he could trust mordecai. He knew with the bottom of his heart that mordecai would never intentionally do something that would put him in harm's way. Rigby watched mordecai grabbed a trash bag out of his pocket picking up one of the body parts with the grey gloves that came equipped with their uniform already covered with blood and tossing it into the black trash bag. (Sponsored by VLAD the best bags for leaky trash or dismembered body parts)
Rigby soon followed suit picking up a dismembered head of what appeared to be a skinhead apparent from the S.S bolts on his neck and swastika on his forehead, rigby tossed it in the bag like a basketball mentally congratulating himself for landing the shot but not truly expressing his victory knowing that it wouldn't be socially acceptable since it was in fact a man's head. Mordecai saw this as a challenge and stepped further back throwing a heavy torso in his bag. Rigby being the bi polar raccoon he was chuckled grabbing a foot tossing it in from a further distance sticking the landing and mentally thanking the god of basketball who gave him and mordecai their wicked powers to defeat muscle man and HFG.
Mordecai and rigby continued to toss the body parts into the bag followed by attaching scrub brushes to their feet and skating across the floor washing away the excess blood feeling slightly guilty for having such fun disposing of human remains but soon remembering that these people didn't deserve their guilt knowing the most likely were horrible people to get stuck in a place like this. Finally after a little extra elbow grease the job was done leaving mordecai and rigby waiting in the now almost sparkling cafeteria for the, he/she that they discovered was named Alice thanks to the employee of the month displayed on the wall across from where they sat. Rigby looked around the large room wondering what else was in this large jail that could be called entertainment for the two.
"Hey mordecai how long do you think it will take to get this uniform replaced?" rigby asked looking down at the skirt that tightly hugged his hips.
"You should keep it dude it looks good on you" mordecai stated smiling at the shorter male who sat across from him on one of the standard cafeteria tables.
"You're kidding right dude" rigby questioned his taller best friend wondering what exactly has gotten into the bluejay lately along with the thought of how attractive his best friend was when he smiled.
"Yeah" mordecai stated standing up walking over to the other side of the table kneeling down in front of him so that they were face to face once again "I think it makes you look cute" mordecai explains resting his hand on rigby's cheek.
"Mordecai what are yo-"rigby questioned nervously his cheeks heating up only to be interrupted by his best friend's lips capturing his own.
Rigby was shocked at first not believing that this was happening, that this was just a dream that he wished he could simply never wake up from. Then the thought that real or not he was going to enjoy this moment. Rigby began to kiss back eagerly craving the taste of mordecai's lips, he has wanted this for so long now it was driving him crazy the only thing keeping him back was fear of rejection and that that was obviously not a problem now.
Mordecai couldn't believe this bold step that he took he was always so shy when it came to relationships but that little bit of courage where ever it came from he was thankful for if it meant that he could even just for a little while experience being close to his best friend. He didn't know how these feeling for rigby started but they started to show around a year ago but unfortunately for him rigby was already in a relationship and he didn't want to interfere with rigby's happiness no matter how much it ate at him instead settling for the dirty bitch who broke his heart before. The day he decided to date her again was the day that the tall bluejay would regret; all that she did was judge him, complain about her job, and take up his time just to do meaningless shit for her only to bitch at him later on.
This moment right here, right now with his best friend made up for all of those miserable weeks with Margaret. The duo felt like they were on cloud nine, wrapped in each other's embrace allowing their emotional and sexual frustration that has been lingering between them finally go in this moment of fiery passion. Sadly they were once again interrupted by a cough at the entrance of the room.
Mordecai and rigby pulled away a single string of saliva connecting their lips to prove to every witness what exactly they were doing. Mordecai and rigby turned to see Jared and the warden walking closer, Jared in his usual panic and the warden as calm as ever.
"This is not good not good at all warden, it is strictly against superjail rules for employees to have relations" Jared panicked not wanting to get fired from his job
"Let them be Jared romance is such a magical bond that can't be broken, it is truly a good thing, besides I run superjail I make the rules" the warden said pressing his statement by turning into cupid shooting the smaller male with an arrow before turning back to his normal form.
"duuuuuude how did you do that?" rigby asked rushing over to the warden discovering this awesome ability that his new employer possessed.
"Oh it is simple, I run superjail and everything even space and time are under my control" the warden stated with pride twirling his cane.
"cooooool" the duo stated in unison as they usually did thanks to years of hanging around with each other.
"Why don't you join us for lunch tonight we are having pizza" the warden explained walking into the freshly cleaned lunch line grabbing a tray.
"Pizza! OOooooooooooooooooooooooh!" the duo chanted in unison rushing into the lunch line following the warden who chuckled at the duo.