Summary: Grissom's getting married. And not to Catherine.

A/N: I know Catherine does not have hazel eyes, but whatever. )

Rating: K, CSI-1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. The lyrics are taken from the song "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson.

.:Best Friend's Wedding:.

Catherine rolled over to stare at the clock yet again. Two o'clock, and she still wasn't anywhere near sleep. Tomorrow, actually today, Grissom was... Catherine couldn't think about it without wanting to either throw up, cry, or just beat the crap out of something. Or maybe all three, she couldn't decide.

He had come over a few hours ago, at around ten. She guessed her acting skills hadn't been as good as she had hoped. He had asked for the last time if she was really okay with the wedding; if she thought he was making a mistake. She had wanted to yell at him that of course he was. That he was making the worst mistake in the world, marrying the wrong woman. But that would accomplish nothing, and it would make Grissom unhappy. And she wanted him to be happy even if it killed her. So she had gathered up the strength she didn't think she had, looked him in the eye, and told him that he was doing the right thing. He had apparently not seen the pain behind her expression. He had given her a hug, and she recalled the feeling of being in his arms, if only for a few seconds.

Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Because for those seconds, everything had seemed perfect. Like it was her that he was marrying the next day. Like it was her that he was going to be promising to love and honor and cherish for the rest of their lives. But then reality had intruded, and Grissom had pulled away and left, unknowlingly leaving a broken-hearted Catherine behind.

And now Catherine lay staring at the clock but not seeing it. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she didn't realize she was crying. He fingers hurt from gripping her pillow so tightly but she couldn't feel it. She was numb. Oblivious to anything but the pain she was causing herself as she thought about Gil.

Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

The next morning, Catherine woke up, not even knowing that she had ever fallen asleep. She felt more terrible than words could describe, and was sure that she probably looked worse than she felt. A look in the mirror confirmed her thoughts; dark circles around her eyes and blotched cheeks from crying herself to sleep. But Lindsey could not see her like this. She had to be strong for her daughter. So taking a deep breath, Catherine banished all thoughts of anything unpleasant from her mind and slid on the mask she always wore, only taken down when she was alone and the pain had become too much to bear. Catherine stepped into the shower, letting the beat of the water massage her aching muscles. Ten minutes later, she stepped out and dried off. She applied some foundation and concealer, making herself look at least somewhat presentable to go wake up Lindsey. She would do a more detailed job later, but they both needed to get ready for the wedding. Lindsey was going to be the flower girl, and they had to be there early.

"Lindsey, hon, it's time to wake up."

The girls eyelids flutered open, and she stretched.

"Uncle Gil is getting married today." The young girl stated matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I know. And you need to get ready. So you will be the prettiest flower girl ever."

"Mommy." Lindsey giggled.

"Come on, you need to get up."

Lindsey complied, and Catherine went to get ready while her daughter ate breakfast. She emerged twenty minutes later, dressed in the dress she had picked out the day before, hair done, and extra make up applied. She helped Lindsey into her own dress, and they set off for the church. Pulling into the parking space and shutting off the engine, Catherine closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the seat for a second, preparing for everything she was about to face. Every unreal but at least somewhat possible fantasy about to be destroyed.

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Catherine pulled herself together, thinking of her daughter. She opened the door, and they entered the church. Lindsey immediately walked over to her friend who was a bride's maid. Kim? Kate? Catherine couldn't remember her name. Behind the pleasant expression she had pasted on her face, Catherine's thoughts whirled. Gil had been, still was, her best friend. He made her happy and made her feel like she was more than she thought she was. She told him everything. With one exception, of course. But she did not want her thoughts to go down that path again. It was much too painful. So Catherine threw herself into whatever needed to be done, firmly pushing all thoughts of him from her mind. Which was a difficult task, considering that this was his wedding, but Catherine tried her hardest. Luckily he was in a different section, so she didn't have to see him. It would be almost impossible to hide everything from him. From those eyes, and all other senses, trained to pick up every detail, every secret. Of which she had too many to risk him finding out.

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
Sewn together, but so broken up inside

So the masquerade continued until it was only fifteen minutes till the wedding. Everyone was there, and Catherine was back with Lindsey,

'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Everyone was talking, but she didn't hear a sound.

"Mommy? Mommy, are you okay?"

She snapped out of it.

"Yeah, honey. I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Mommy, do you not want Uncle Gil to get married?"

Catherine's heart skipped a beat. Attempting to put on a reassuring smile, she said,

"Of course I do. Your Uncle Gil loves Linda." She barely choked out the words.


Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

"Okay." The child bought the answer happily.

It was true. Gil did love Linda. As much as it pained Catherine to admit it. He would never know that she loved him. But every time he mentioned her name; everytime he smiled at her, Catherine would die a little on the inside. And he had no clue what he was doing.

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...

Lindsey was called to take her spot, even thought there were still ten minutes till the ceremony was to begin. Catherine knew she was no longer needed, and she also knew she should probably go talk to Gil. He would be hurt if she didn't. But she couldn't face him. She went to sit down on one of the pews.

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

She sat in the pew, waiting for the ceremony to begin. She knew she should go talk to him. Her conscience was killing her, and she was slowly losing the battle. She did not want to hurt or confuse Gil and she had told him last night that he was not making a mistake. If she didn't talk to him now, she would contradict that statement by not talking to him when there was no reason not to.

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Catherine rose to go talk to him one last time before every single one of her dreams came true. But with one major glitch that would change them all. The woman in the white dress would not be her. But she pushed those thoughts aside. Squaring her shoulders, Catherine went to talk to her best friend.

TBC...

A/N: What is she going to do? Hehe. Only I know that. smirks You will have to read the next chappie to find out. Which I will not be posting unless I get reviews. So hit the button! Please!