My Little Decoy
A/N::: I changed Bex's and Liz's nicknames, b/c they're supposed to be rich snobs, so I thought calling them Becca and Liza was… I dunno, snobbier? No offense to anyone who uses those nicknames. Besides... I love this song!
SONG- Decoy- Paramore
Disclaimer::: I do not own this series or song.
zzzNzzz
"What about that one for you, Cammie?" Becca and Liza giggled as she pointed out a redhead with freckles. I roll my eyes, but then spot a cute looking boy with sapphire eyes and brown wavy hair walking past me, my back turned to him when he glances at me. "Ooh, Cammie. That's cutie," Bex cooed in the earphone of my iPhone touch. "How about him? For you, of course." I look at Becca, and see her staring at him. I look for Liza by the hotdog stand, only to see her looking somewhere else. I roll my eyes.
"By the balloon stand, Liza," I say. She makes a little nervous laughing sound and turns to look at the cute boy. "He is cute," I murmur.
"Cute? He's delicious, Cammie," Becca says. "You're the only one without a boy toy. He's all yours."
"Yeah Cammie. Even I have one," Liza says, and they laugh.
"Whatever," I say, turning the electronic off. I apply some lip gloss and step out from my hiding spot. "Alright. Here I go." He was standing near a row of Whack the Weasels, talking to a short boy and a pretty blonde. Dammit he's taken. I take a step back, but then stop. So what? I've stolen many taken boys. I've got nothing to lose. I straighten my blue top and walk up to the fourth machine, close enough to be noticed, but not intruding. I put in some change in the machine and pick up the gavel. Here goes nothing. I miss the ugly brown mole on purpose, and after a while, his friends leave. He turns to face me, but I ignore him, too busy "trying" to hit the weasel.
"Hey…?" he says, more of a question than a greeting.
"Hi." I glance up at him and turn back to the game. I keep missing and cursing under my breath for two reasons until he finally speaks up.
"Um, do you need help?" I glance at him again; he was smiling.
I blow the hair out of my face. "Um, no, thanks anyways. Shouldn't you be with your friends or something?" I am at the weasel again; and miss. Again.
"Actually," he says, sitting on a stool behind the machines, "I have to take care of these rascals." His grin widens.
"Really." I tried sounding impressed, and it worked, because there was a glint in his eye that showed he was proud of his job.
"Yep. I got the shift for the rest of the night." He patted the machines as I set down the gavel.
"Cool." One-worded responses were my advantages. It always made them nervous, making them want to talk.
"So I haven't seen you around. You new?" He leaned in closer to me, his arms on the edge of the glowing machine.
"Yeah." I chewed my pink gum lazily.
"So I'll be seeing you at school, right?"
"No." His confident grin fell.
"Why not?" Crap. I did not think of this.
"Because…" I stalled. "I'm homeschooled." Smooth.
"Why?"
"My parents don't like public schools.:
"Ahh, I see." Although, he clearly didn't. We were now only a couple inches apart.
"I have a question," I say.
"Ask away."
"Are you interested in…" I leaned in closer. "Playing a round of Whack the Weasels with me?" He blinked, but then his grin came back stronger.
"Sure, why not. I've got all night." And so it began. I got my little decoy.
zzzNzzz
Close your eyes and make believe
This is where you wanna be
'This is where I wanna be' I tell myself as Josh wraps his arms around my waist as we sway to the music. 'With a boy who means nothing to me.' I turn to look at him, and see an expression that I've seen so many times on different faces. A face of contentment. A face of no regret. A face of falling in love. I've seen it on the faces of boys that I've dated. On the faces of men that my mother insists of marrying. And the one time I caught my father looking at my mother like that. Like he was ingraving her face into his mind to remember forever. Because forever doesn't last.
Forgetting all the memories
Try to forget love cause love's forgotten me
I push those images a side though, because love doesn't exist. It's just a word meant to get to you. To get close enough to you and break down your defenses. Mess with you and change your outlook on life, make you think that everyone loves each other. It's a joke. So it mean nothing to me, just like this boy. The look in his eyes may look like love, but it's really lust incognito.
At one point, I did believe in love. I "loved" Jason, I "loved" Alex. But it always disappeared after a month. It felt like love. It looked like love. Hell, it even tasted like love. But after a while, I realized I didn't love Kyle or even Jake. I lusted them. Just like I'm lusting after Josh. Just like Josh is lusting after me. It'll all be over soon.
Pretty soon you won't remember a thing
And I'll be distant as stars reminiscent
Your heart's been wasted on me
It's just a fling. It always just is a fling. I know that this feeling will soon be gone and we'll break-up. The usual "It's me not you" speech. I'll get over it. He'll get over it. I mean, I bet my last boyfriend Adam, is already over me. And Josh Abrams will soon be over me as well. It's a vast sky, and I was just a star that twinkled and caught his attention. And he'll always know that he wasted his time, effort and heart on a girl who never felt anything for him.
Live a life inside a dream
Time is changing everything
As days drag on, my "feelings" for Josh become smaller. I float through our dates and chats, acting like the home-schooled girl I'm supposed to be, not letting on that I go to Gallagher Academy. It's tough, but I convince my friends to cover for me every time I sneak out.
Being with Josh was like a dream that didn't end. Not a magical dream or one that made me all happy. Just like a dream where you can't wake up and everyone and everything passes by slowly. It always feels like this when I was getting bored with them. With Benj, or Michael or Ed…
Forgetting all the memories
Wait. I hardly remember them. All of them lasted only for about a month and I hardly remember them. I'd forced myself to forget them. To forget the past and find a boy for the future. I made myself throw away their gifts and erase away their kisses and touch. Made myself forget the memories. For the better.
And I'm forced into you just cause you're into me
Becca and Liza said I had to date Josh. Since I was the only one of our class that didn't have a toy. Besides, they saw how he looked at me, that he wanted me.
"He's like, so into you Cammie!" Liza squealed. They forced me on him just because he liked me. And now I have to date him for a month as a Gallagher Girl senior tradition. But after a month, we are going to be over.
But I can't stay and no, I won't wait
I was gone from the very first day
"I have to go," I breath in his ear to be heard over the loud saxophone.
"Can't you stay, Cam?" I shake my head.
"Sorry, but I have to go." I peck his cheek and walk out, dodging his over friendly friend Dee Dee. Gosh, she wore a lot of pink.
I only like Josh the first ten minutes we'd met. He was sweet and cute and funny. But I hardly remember his name these days. By our first date, I was gone. I hardly listened, even though it looked otherwise. I hardly spoke but it seemed like I babbled.
Even though the bet was for a month, I found myself saying "We need to talk" two weeks later while we were standing in the centered gazebo. The break-up speech.
You've never been so used
As I'm using you
Abusing you
" I haven't been completely honest with you," I mutter, faking guilt and avoiding eye contact. I mean, I'm not a cold-hearted person. But I'm not upset or guilty. I don't feel anything towards him. "I go to the Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Women." I look up into his shocked-beyond-belief face. "I'm the heiress to the Morgan clothing company. And my relationship with you was all a lie."
My little decoy
Don't look so blue
His face is pale as chalk, but then it slowly turns blue from holding in his breath. "Josh? Say something."
"I d-don't believe you," he stutters.
"I'm sorry, but it's true. I—"
"NO!" I flinch at his voice. "You're lying! You're not one of them! I would have known! You're… you're joking, right?" His voice is no more but a whisper as he slowly realizes how I got expesive designer clothing and my snobiness when it slipped. "You're… you're my Cammie," he whisper. "You're not a rich snob."
You should've seen right though
I'm using you
My little decoy
"You should've known, right? But I hid it well. I doubt you were the least bit suspicious. Don't you see? I was using you. You were just a cute boy walking past a girl in dire need of a boy for a senior tradition." I smiles smugly. "You were just my little decoy, Joshie."
"Stop it!" I turn around to see Dee Dee glaring at me. "Leave him alone! Stop being such a cold-hearted whore! Get out! Now!" I would've never thought I would actually get up from the iron bench and leave. But my business there was done. So I walked away, leaving a broken-hearted fool and angry kind girl. Not my problem.
I'm not sorry at all
I won't be sorry at all
Am I sad? Not really. Do I feel guilty? Nope. Am I really truly sorry for hurting a town boy? Not a chance. Maybe because I had experience. Maybe because I saw breaking-up as a "Get out of Jail" free card. Or maybe because I was a cold-hearted bitch. Either way, I harbor no guilt, sadness or the need to apologize.
I'd do it over again
Would I do it again? If I could go back to where I saw Josh, knowing what would happen? I don't see why not. Except I'd dump him by e-mail. I wouldn't want to have him and Dee Dee screaming at me. And he'd have solid proof. I wouldn't need to repeat myself, or confess about me going to Gallagher. I'd just tell him we were through. Simple, fast and no extra feelings would get hurt.
My little decoy
A/N::: so how was it? Tell me!
=^-^=