MacLaren's, November 2009
They're dancing together and the moment is bittersweet. They're so close, and it feels so good – so right – but it's bittersweet. Because they love each other like crazy, but now that the fighting's begun they can't seem to make it stop, and for the first time ever it's starting to feel like this relationship is slipping away from them.
Privately, they're both terrified they won't be able to make it work – because, let's face it, they're them and neither one is particularly good at relationships, or compromise, or giving in, or even admitting their feelings. So it hurts a little, this fear that maybe eventually they're both going to lose the most important thing in their life. But for now, right in this moment, they have each other, and they're going to enjoy it. They're going to cling to it as long as they possibly can.
And, days later, after laughing off Marshall and Lily's advice, the sex in the elevator is great. It's fantastic. So much so that the sweet far outweighs the bitter…..at least for now.
You're in my veins and I cannot get you out
Robin's Apartment, Fall 2011
She still thinks about him, about when the two of them were together, far more than she should. Especially at times like right now – late at night in bed, when it's dark and quiet and she can't sleep. She tosses and turns, and she remembers.
She remembers other nights, in this same bed, nights shared with him. And other beds too, his mostly – but once they even made a game of counting them all down. The nights and days they spent together are burned in her memory. As they'd both long suspected, together they were combustible. Sometimes it was wild, and dirty, and kinky. Sometimes it was hot, pure passion and lust. But sometimes it was something more, something tender and soul deep. Sometimes it was truly making love.
One of those times was after the night when they'd danced at MacLaren's – shortly after the fighting had started, marking the beginning of the end – when they'd spent the whole evening trying to convince everyone what a perfect couple they were. But for all the pretending what they really affirmed that night was just how very much in love they really were, as they held each other for all they were worth. Holding on, just holding on, neither willing to let go. And later that night, when they got home, the softness lingered with sweet kisses and gentle caress. He laid her down on their bed and kissed her from head to toe, and when they finally come together it was with eyes wide open, looking into each other – watching, appreciating, loving – gazing into each other eyes the entire time.
And it's those times that haunt her still, that stay with her, that refuse to leave her mind and heart. It's those times – missing those times, aching to have that back again – that leave her absolutely certain she's still in love with him.