"It should have killed him."
Vlad didn't bother to open his eyes. It was more important to pretend to sleep – the doctors would give him the pills again if he didn't and Vlad hated the pills, even though they are the only thing that makes him sleep any more.
Three days – that's how long it's been since he has slept. It's okay, he's gone without for longer.
The last minutes of sleep came from sleeping pills.
He changes pills somewhat often, but in the end, they all give the same result.
One pill should have knocked a normal person out for a good nine hours – two made him sleep for barely four. He knew the only reason that the doctors didn't give him more was because the pills could interfere with their tests. And maybe they didn't want him to become dependent on the pills, but the latter just seemed so unlikely…
But Vlad didn't really know what was likely or what was happening all the time or even what time it was. Days were counted by when the doctors wanted him to sleep.
It almost seemed as everything before the accident was just a dream, a happy dream world that Vlad could never go back to.
Maybe the pills could help him find it again.
The doctors hated it when Vlad pretended to sleep. They always see through it. It's not very difficult to tell when Vlad is lacking sleep. He is so much more unwilling to do what they say and his mind dulls, causing him to relay on basic instincts, the ones that told him that the doctors were not helping.
It's a nightmare for the doctors when that happens.
The times he slept on his own – so long ago it seems – resulted in nightmares. His once friends would stand accusing, reliving the days with his parents, those were the most common. Only on the worst nights involves the doctors, it was too deeply buried for often use.
Not once did the pills result in that. The pills meant sense of peace for Vlad, if only for a short time. It put him in a senseless place, where nothing could touch him or hurt him.
But the sense of peace – it was unreal. The sense of warmth it gave out, it was intangible. Always on the horizon, but never close enough. Never did it help him; never was it truly something real.
But almost nothing was anymore.
Maybe the pills were a good idea. It was fake, but so was everything else. What's one more delusion?
The part of him that was whispering to him to give in and tell the doctors he couldn't sleep, to give him the pills, was the weak side. It was the one that told him to give up, to stop caring, to just let things happen.
Vlad was never a strong man. Brilliant, clever, yes, but never strong. He couldn't stand up to anything or anyone. Not to his best friend, not to his doctors, not to his parents. Strength was not his forte.
Strength is what he needed the most right now. The only thing he needed more was to get out, but that was real and real things couldn't be thought of because it caused pain and pain was never good and it always put him in a bad shape.
When he woke up from the pills, he would always be in his best shape. The rare sleep made him no better, sometimes worse. The pills made everything easier, so much easier, so much simpler. The right answer was obvious; ignoring what the doctors did was easier when Vlad was in his best shape.
He could pretend.
Pretend the doctors knew best. Pretend they wanted the best for him.
Pretend that he getting better. Pretend he wasn't an experiment. Pretend, pretend, pretend, pretend…
It wasn't real. Only thing that was real was the pain he felt, the horrible nights, knowing what really happened.
What really happened – it was something only he knew. The doctors could never find out. It would be so much worse, so horrible. It was bad enough, but if he said, he knew only one thing for certain.
He couldn't pretend anymore. Pretending was what kept him through the horrible 'treatments' and pretending made it easier to see an end.
Nothing was real, but it was better than reality. Anything was better than reality.
Vlad didn't know how to not pretend anymore.
"It should have killed him."
Vlad didn't open his eyes. It wasn't like the words were a new occurrence anyways.
A/N: Basically Vlad's days in the hospital. Going to have a few short chapters. This doesn't have a real beginning nor a read ending. Just things Vlad's experiences/connected short works. Updated irregular. I don't know where this came from. Sorry that it's not very... sane, I think. Vlad just goes to a lot of places. Tell me what you think? Point out any confusion.