Deadpool is in a bar, drinking some beer.
"Really?", asks Deadpool.
What?
"You finally wrote me a Deadpool fanfic and you decided to get me to drink at some fucking lame bar with no hookers?"
Deadpool turned to the bartender.
"Where are the hookers?", Deadpool demanded, "Hey I'm not demanding. I'm curious."
"We have no hookers you assbutt!"
"Assbutt? You know you can curse in this fanfic, right. This ain't some lame My Little Pony story that is by Ponywriter55, it's about me."
Look, you want plot? Plot that the entire Marvel universe can't do cause of rights distribution?
"Well, I didn't specifically say that..."
Fine, you asshole!
"Oh, so you can curse, but the bartender can't?"
Suddenly, Wolverine came in with his claws, fighting ninjas.
The bartender screamed like a little girl. He screamed so loudly that the ninjas' ears literally exploded as they yell in pain.
Wolverine stopped as he came to the bartender.
"Thank you, for-"
Before Wolverine can finish, the bartender's head bash into bits of his brain as Deadpool triggered his gun aiming his head.
After the corpse fell down, Wolverine grunted as he immediately slashes Deadpool's chest with his claws.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"You tell me, you killed an innocent man."
"Let me remind you that this 'inoocent' man's screams kills those ninjas, which completely ruins the chance of you and me fighting them together. Instead, miss screams-a-lot completely ruined our shot."
Wolverine sighs as he takes Deadpool's beer and sips it.
"No time to talk about our morals, I have to go now! They could be coming."
Wolverine grabs his bag as he runs to the door as Deadpool follows him outside.
"And who in the fuck is that? It's Thanos, isn't it. Oh man, such a trendy thing to do."
"Thanos, the Hand, Legion of Doom, Zemo-"
Deadpool suddenly stops Wolverine.
"Wait, did you just say 'Legion of Doom'?"
"The point is Deadpool, all villains are coming of what's in this bag."
"And what is it? The infinity gauntlet?"
"Be serious Deadpool. This item is such imporatance."
Deadpool starts to insert his hand into the bag.
"Well, can I just-"
Wolverine slices his hand off before he can touch it.
"Ow! Mother Fucker!"
Wolverine suddenly pops up an idea.
"Wait, that's it. How about I leave the bag to you? No villain will suspect a paid merchant vigilante has a such important thing that no one knows about."
Deadpool reconnects his hand to his arm, painfully.
"Wow, thanks!"
Wolverine shoves the bag into Deadpool's arms.
"Deadpool, hundreds of lives are at sake and it is up to you to save the faith in humanity, do you understand?"
"Yeah, but one questioon. Will I get paid after this?", Deadpool asks.
"Yeah, we're doomed. But, sadly, you will have to do for now. I can't be seen with the bag when there's hundreds of targets around my back. Good luck, Deadpool."
Wolverine left in plain sites.
"So, what's in the bag?"
You'll find out.
"You don't know what it is, either. Don't you?"
No, I just can't tell you!
Deadpool raises an eyebrow.
And I also don't know, yet. But all will be revealed in part 2! Maybe...
"Is it the infinity gauntlet?"
It is not the infinity gauntlet!