Disclamer: Edward Cullen, bella, jakob, renesme and sum of de oter characters belong to da genus that is STEPHANIE MEYER!!!!!!!! unfortunatley. Ea is ares.

A/N: I'm written this wit my BFF, amethyst, who doesn't have here own internet, so she dosen't have an account hear. shes my beta (and I'm her alfa0 thanx babe, coudnt of done it with'out U.) We trade off writing evry other pare graph.

Chapter 1: Fish outta Water

Hi, Im Ea Enki Eeloway, but evry1 calls me Ea. I moved to forks Washington last year cuz I visited once 17 years ago and loved it, so I came back.

I have long blond hair and broud shoulders. I'v got totally awesum pecks & abs 'cuz I work out evry day. My eyes are different collored, one green like the see before a storm, the other grey like the see after the storm, my lashes R long and thic like seaweed tossed up on the bank. (Forshadowment)

I have deep-dark secret that I never told any1 b4. I'm in luv with another man's wife. Her name is Bella which means beauty, her looks hve got no parallel (gettit? its from a song). Everytime I sea her, my stomac flutters, but my heart aches. She's like candy that I can not have. My exgirlfriend, Victoria, dumped me cuz she got jelous. She's so mena. She's still all hung up over sum stupid james guy, anyway.

I want to run up her, tell her how I feel, promise that I'd be a better dad for her daughter than that overbearning shovenistic (sp? coludn't find in dictionary) hubby of hers. Oh, ya! Shes got a daughter. Her names Renesmee and she's cute. Gosh, moms are so hot!

I became a swim instructer to teach Renesme to swim so I coud have an excuse to talk to Bella. I come from a long line of good swimmers (wink). Today, I get to tak to Bella again, because Renesme is failing the class. She just bobs on the water like a dead deceased corpse, but never gose under. Just lick a vampire that can't cross moving water. She can do alright alone, but when he others are in the water splashing, she just flotes.

I went to my office nest to the pool. Bella had agreed to meet me in my office but wen I opined the door it was not she but her husband that stood infront of the my desk.

"Hello." He said as he turend wen I entered.

My hearot sank. What was her evil overbearing shovanistic huzband doing cuming to a parent teacher conference? Jackasses don't care about their children. He must already suspect me!

"You must be Coach Eeloway." He smiled scathinly.

I put on my best fake smile an said, "Yes, tha'ts me. I need to talk to your-" I almsot said your wife, but cought myself in time "- face about Renesme."

Edward pawned and looked at me funnly, "That's why I'm here, isn't it?"

"Oh, yar. Um… your daghter dosent' swim. She just flotes and looks like a dead body. She's okey when she alone in the pool, though her form cold improve. But whenever the other studens are in the watter, she cant do anything."

"I don't appreciate you comparing my daughter to a dead body," he said colly while foldin his arms and planting his feat firmly. He had a pint, but she looked like a corpes.

"I'm sorry," I said, mustarding all the faek remoarse I coud. "At this rate, shell fail the clas and wont get teh PE credit she nees to graduate on tiem. I know he can do it. I think she's jus sheye. Maybe if her mother broght her over to the pool after haurs, she could improv eenough to swim for the finel exam."

"You give exams for swimming?"

"We need to have final grade for every PE class. I need give a final or I get fired."

"Okay. I'll see about getting her here. I don't want my wife and daughter out so late alone, but I can take her." Dam! He must bee onta me! Wel, I have more triks up my sleave.

A/N: Hou is it? Is it good? Let me know how we'r doing.