Seriously, how has no one else at least written about this before? I've seen one picture of fan art, and that's it. It came to me months ago...and now it's finally on Fanfiction.

Needless to say, this is complete crack concerning my favorite Final Fantasy character and a certain evil clown, mixed with my favorite DC hero and another certain evil clown, who is probably the previous evil clown's father or close relative or sorts, at the very least.

Disclaimer: No, sadly, I don't own Final Fantasy or Batman (especially not the Dark Knight trilogy), or anything else mentioned for that matter.

The Dark Knight Falls

Golbez or not, Tidus, Firion, and Cloud all reached for their weapons the day that the warrior of Chaos decided to enter their camp uninvited.

"You! What are you doing here?" Firion growled, baring his teeth. Tidus, on the other hand, had his weapon in a halfhearted grip, remembering what Cecil had said about his brother's overall good nature.

Golbez held his hands up, attempting to placate the young rebel. "I did not come here to fight. I only came to ask if you knew the whereabouts of Cecil. Last I saw of him, he...wasn't in the best state." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, but otherwise showed no sign of his nervousness.

"What happened?" Cloud asked as he cocked his head to the side.

He didn't even need to ask. Just then, Cecil sprinted into camp, breathing heavily in his Dark Knight armor.. "Brother! Tidus! Firion! Cloud! " His voice sounded awfully bizarre. It seemed to be as deep as Golbez's, only grating on the ears.

"Cecil? Why do you sound like you're choking on a lawn mower?" Tidus queried.

Golbez sighed deeply behind the Blitzball player. "So he's still doing it..."

"Where's Kain?" he growled ominously, ignoring Tidus's oddly phrased question.

Golbez's armor made an echoing bang as he facepalmed, trying to figure out how to fix this particular predicament; Tidus frowned as he tried to remember where he had heard that name; Cloud raised his eyebrows, being the only one besides Golbez to understand what was going on; and Firion asked, "Kain? Who's that?"

Cecil addressed Firion, babbling in his "gargling tennis balls" tone, "Do you know where Kain is? The clown disfigured his face. He already killed the Judge Gabranth, going after some others now. Do you know where he is?" Firion shook his head negative, but Cecil refused to believe him. "Are you hiding him?"

"No!" Firion denied nervously. "I'm not hiding him, I swear to Cosmos-"

"SWEAR TO MEEEEE!" Cecil exploded.

Golbez, unable to take it anymore, grasped his brother by the shoulders and shook him gently. "Cecil! You are not Batman! Rosa was not killed by Kefka in an explosion, nor was she going to marry Kain! Kain did not have his face disfigured by debris, nor is he out for the blood of the guilty...again." He sighed once more. "Am I getting through to you-"

Cecil was no longer listening; he had his eyes on something just behind Cloud. "Is that..." Brushing past his brother and comrades, Cecil climbed aboard Cloud's motorcycle, blatantly ignoring Cloud's cries of protest. "I'M COMING AFTER YOU, KEFKA!" he shouted as he shot off towards the horizon.

Tidus and Firion gawked at where Cecil had just vanished from their sights. Cloud, meanwhile, went over to Golbez and said, "So, let me guess: you two watched The Dark Knight."

Golbez nodded. "Correct...though I do believe I'm regretting it now."

"Anyway..." Cloud said. His face transformed from its usual stoic expression into one of pure outrage. "So teleport after that idiot and get my bike back! That cost my entire annual salary!"

Golbez shrugged, murmuring, "If I can rescue it before it's too late, sure." He swished his cape around him and vanished.

He had a plan.

Meanwhile, at the current Chaos base...

"Wanna see a magic trick?" Kefka asked Exdeath, a wicked grin on his face. For some unknown reason, he had swapped out his usual attire the day before for a cheap purple suit, and the feathers in his hair were puke green. The other Chaos Warriors all gave him irritated glances (the clown vexed Garland, even), but otherwise they paid him no heed.

Exdeath, who was sharpening his sword, sighed. For the love of... "For the last time, Kefka, NO, I don't want to see a magic trick!"

"Come ooooooon!" To Exdeath's dismay, Kefka snatched the sword from his grip. "I'll make this sword disappear!" Suddenly, he grabbed Sephiroth by the hair and shish kebob-ed him on the blade.

"The irony..." Sephiroth moaned.

Kuja, from where he was sitting, said disinterestedly, "That wasn't a magic trick; you just shanked him with Exdeath's sword." He returned to perusing this month's edition of Seventeen magazine.

"Yeah, well..." Kefka trailed off as he spotted something in the distance, and he began to cackle even more insanely than usual.

On the bike, Cecil was giving a deep, heroic speech. "It's time Dissidia got the hero it doesn't really need, but the hero it thinks it deserves! Because Dissidia thinks it deserves, but doesn't need, a hero! A hero who is hated! Not white, dark! And...oh, forget it." He eyed Kefka, far away, and floored it, howling with rage.

Kefka fired a fireball at the ground, muttering, "Come on, hit me! Hit me!"

Cecil still gunned it, though uncertainty plagued him. Could he really hit Kefka, that awful joker...

Kefka fired another spell. "Come on, Batman! Hit me! HIT ME!"

Cecil was still undecided even when Kefka was within a hundred feet. It wouldn't be right to take a human life! That went against his policy! Alfred would kill him! But that fiend had murdered Rosa! But what about being the DARK KNIGHT?!

Hissing in frustration, Cecil went to slow down.

That was when Golbez's perfectly timed fit smashed into the side of his head, gently enough as to not draw blood, but hard enough to knock Cecil to his senses...and off the bike.

Which caused the bike to careen straight into an astonished Kefka. The clown flew through the air, a line drive like a basaeball, until he crashed into a pillar. The sound of bones breaking was audible.

Cecil, meanwhile, groaned in agony. Seeing his brother reaching to assist him to his feet, he moaned, "What...happened?" The other villains were too busy laughing at Kefka's expense to acknowledge the presence of a Warrior of Cosmos. "One moment, I was with you watching a movie, and the next..."

"You hit your head on the microwave while getting yourself some popcorn," Golbez explained. "Then you told me that you were Batman, while sounding like myself if I were gargling marbles, finally going off to some Batcave of yours in order to supposedly look for Rosa."

Before Cecil could comment on the absurdity of that, Kefka stumbled up to them and pointed to a nasty laceration on his forehead. "You wanna know how I get these scars?"

Cecil's eyes widened. "I'm so sorry!" he cried as Kefka collapsed at his feet, unconscious.

Golbez chuckled. "Don't be, Cecil. I'm sure you'll be Terra's hero, and the others will get a laugh."

Cecil flushed, embarrassed by his crazed actions. "Next time, we're watching The Avengers."

Exdeath being annoyed by Kefka was inspired by the Youtube series The Dissidia Project. I highly recommend checking it out. And that's a wrap! That was...weird, to say the least, but I wanted to get it out of my system.

School starts tomorrow. This helped ease my nerves.