All Around Me
I can feel you all around me thickening the air I'm breathing, holding on to what I'm feeling, savoring this heart that's healing.
Elena Gilbert sat on the window seat and stared out of her window, watching the sun shine and the leaves fall on the grass. Her pen tapped against the empty pages of her diary and her lips curved down in a frown. She had so many thoughts floating in her head but when she went to write it down, her mind went blank. She stood up and threw the book and pen onto her bed and sighed with frustration. How could one person make her feel this way? How could he do this to her? What right did he have to tell her that she didn't deserve him and she was too pure and innocent for him? She raked her fingers through her straight hair then formulated a plan in her mind. She was going to tell him everything that she couldn't pen to paper.
Elena paced in her bedroom and it was like she was pacing a hole in the floor. She had this perfect plan all ready to be set in motion but she didn't think about the whole courage part. She was afraid that Damon would reject her again. She really didn't know what she did and it confused her. She turned her head a certain way and he demanded that she leave and not come back. He couldn't see her anymore and something about her scent driving him crazy. She let out a heavy breath then silently moved toward the stairs. She knew one way to get courage. Sure, it wasn't the smartest idea but they didn't call it liquid courage for nothing. She bit her bottom lip as she went down the stairs wondering to herself if this was a good idea. What if she couldn't get the nerve to call Damon? To tell him how she truly felt about him and that he shouldn't make decisions for her.
He was clearly hiding something from her and she was ready, ready to accept what it was even if it was crazy. How crazy could it be though? Elena couldn't exactly figure it out but when she did, she would tell Damon that he was being stupid. She stood in front of where Jenna kept her wine and she grabbed a bottle then decided to take another. She pursed her lips together then looked to the bottle of expensive whiskey. Damon gave it to her as a birthday present for when she was legal to drink. Who was to stop her though? 'Ric? He was so the poster boy for sobriety and plus, he wasn't here so he wouldn't find out. Jeremy was working a late shift too. She returned the wine bottles to their proper places then took the whiskey. She walked back up to her bedroom then quickly looked at her diary as inspiration hit her. If she didn't get up the courage to tell him then she would leave her diary open so that Damon would find it and read it. He was always curious and snooping through her things so she knew the perfect place to put it.
The warmth spread through her limbs and as she took another swig, she felt it go down her throat. This is why Damon liked the stuff so much. She felt pleasant and she could do anything right this moment but it was a shame she felt far too comfortable to move. Her phone was so far away from her so she promised herself that she would get up off her bed and retrieve it sooner or later but she then closed her eyes for just a moment, her hand relaxing further and allowing the empty bottle to fall onto her floor.
Her thoughts returned to Damon; his piercing blue eyes, his intense gaze and that smirk of his. He infuriated her and he knew exactly how to push her buttons but at the same time, he was sweet and caring. He brought her flowers in the morning as well as a gorgeous necklace. Her fingers moved to the piece of jewellery and she sighed. Maybe she did something to make him not want her but she could think straight right now. She needed more whiskey so she got up from her bed and blinked a couple times.
'Great, now I'm imagining you. Juust peerfect.' Elena giggled a bit then swayed back and forth.
Damon's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the petite brunette in front of him, the smell of whiskey wafting up to his nose.
'Am I Bella now? Seeing a mirage of the man I thought cared when I do something reckless? I guess I'll have to stay away from cliffs.'
'Elena…' He stepped forward toward Elena and all he wanted to do was comfort her but how could you comfort someone when you're the reason they're hurt? He wanted to tell her so bad but he was afraid of what she would say. He came to say that he was sorry but he didn't expect this. 'Are you drunk?'
Elena raised her thumb and pointer finger then squished them together, 'Maaybe just a little. Are you the fun police? Come to tell me not to be a bad girl?'
Damon shook his head back and forth, his gaze going to Elena's face then in an instant he was in front of her, his hands cupping her warm cheeks. It took all his will power not to sink his teeth in her heated skin because he always took what he wanted but with Elena it was different. He held back what he was and he didn't want to be a monster he was with her. All he wanted was to be a normal human man and give her the love that she deserved. Why did she even want him? His brother was the good one. He was incapable of doing good. His gaze roamed over her face and he watched her face change.
'Damon? You're…here?'
He couldn't help but smile down at her but as soon as the moment started, it ended. Elena's face went from surprise to rage and she moved backward, her hand flying backward then connected with Damon's cheek. He let out a breath to swallow his own sudden rage but he took one good look at the woman in front of him. He would never hurt her but he would tell her why he was acting the way he was acting.
'Elena, I can explain.'
'No, get out! You're a big giant meanie to me. One minute you're hot…' She stared at Damon for a moment, her gaze moving downward to his lips but then she shook her head,' Wait, where was I? Oh yeah! You're cold the next. It's like I do something and you go on about some stupid stuff. Really, Damon? Why do you make a girl like you then you act like a jerk? Is that your thing?' She was too afraid to say what she really meant. She didn't like Damon, she loved him. After all this time of knowing Damon Salvatore, she fell in love with him. It was a slow process but she knew now how she felt now.
She was out of breath so she just stopped talking, she had more but she was suddenly too tired to say anything more. She felt Damon's arms around her, holding her up. It was a reaction to just melt into his embrace and place her head against his chest. She always felt so safe with him and it was like her anger just left her and all she felt was sad.
'I can't lose you too, Damon. I don't care what you've done. Just talk to me.' She reached up and placed her hand on his cheek, her eyes pleading with Damon. 'I would never judge you; much anyways.' Her lips curved up in a playful smile, and she hoped that it would help him with whatever it was he had to get off his chest. Damon took her hands in his and looked into Elena's eyes.
'I am not good, Elena. I am not capable of doing good like Stefan. I embrace what I am and I can't be what you want me to be. I can't. I don't want to hurt you either but maybe this is for the best. I will always love you but I'm afraid of what will happen.' Damon took in a breath and let it out, his eyes never faltering from Elena's warm and trusting ones. 'I fed on human blood.'
My hands float up above me, and you whisper you love me, and I begin to fade
into our secret place.
Her eyebrows knit together and her gaze lowered from Damon's but then she stood straighter even if she was having a bit of trouble then she looked him dead in the eye as she realized the truth.
'This is who you are, and I have to take all of it; the good and the bad. I have to try and accept you for you. I can't promise that it'll be easy for me but we can do this together. I will be there when you need me to be and I will give you space when you need it. I finally know, Damon.' A beatific smile crossed over Elena's face, causing her features to light up and it took his breath away. Damon's features softened and he looked at her with adoration in his eyes, unable to keep back how he felt for her any longer.
'What is it that you have finally realized?'
Elena moved closer to Damon with the smile still on her lips and her expression changing to show what she really felt for Damon Salvatore; every wall she had against him finally breaking down.
'I love you too. Oh, and you shouldn't leave me.'
'I promise you, I will never leave you again.'
Take my hand, I give it to you, now you own me; all I am. You said you would never leave me, I believe you, I believe.