Hello! I am new to Private Practice fic, though not so new to fic-writing in general. I loved the most recent episode and thought it was so powerful...but I also love the relationship between Amelia and Charlotte and didn't think that we got to see enough of it. So to start, this story may be a bit harsh, but hey, Amelia wants her drugs, and she wants them now!

Pretty please read and respond. I very much appreciate comments.

Thank you and enjoy! Oh, and obviously I own nothing.

-K

"You're sweating and your foot is shaking…"

Amelia Shepherd would remember today as one of the worst days of her life.

"You're aging and your husband hates you so, you know…things could be worse for me."

She trusted these people. They were her friends. No, they were her family. Seaside Wellness meant everything to Amelia. Well, it used to anyway. Right now she didn't care about being a doctor. Hell, she would let a patient die right in front of her if it meant she could score some more oxy. All she wanted was to be high and to be with Ryan. She didn't need anyone or anything else. As long as she had him, she had everything.

"Honestly Pete, all I have been able to think since I saved your pathetic life is, 'was it worth it?' because you're kind of a tool."

Amelia listened to the awful things she was saying to her colleagues and it gave her a great sense of satisfaction. She would not go down without a fight. Her eyes darted around the room, and she could see everyone was watching her like some kind of zoo animal. What trick will Amelia do next? Well, they want a show? That's what they'll get.

"That's her thing, raping her personal experiences for attention."

She could tell she was hurting them. Their eyes were filled with a sadness that was no longer just pity. Good, she thought. I want them to hate me. I want them to hate me so they'll stop caring…so I can go home and get high.

"…Oops, did I say rape? Sorry Charlotte."

The tension in the room was thick. "Touchy subject?"

"Amelia…" Violet started.

"What, can't handle it? Too soon?" She leaned back in her seat. "God forbid anyone acknowledge that Charlotte King is damaged." Amelia muttered.

"Amelia!" Cooper protested.

Charlotte raised her hand in protest. "It's alright, Coop." She said quietly. "Let her finish."

"You are damaged, you know that." Amelia locked eyes with Charlotte. Her anger toward the blonde was growing stronger with each passing second. "Okay, good. Wanted to make sure we're all on the same page here."

Charlotte was supposed to be her friend…her confidant…the only person who could truly understand her. But instead she betrayed her, and Amelia refused to accept betrayal.

"You walk around here all high and mighty, like you're an image of perfection…but I've seen it, Charlotte. I've seen those moments…those fleeting moments…where you stop for a second and I know you're re-living it. I can see it on your face, and I can see it in your eyes." Her words were cold and sharp. "…and I know you're back there, in that office, fighting for your life." Amelia leaned forward. "You lost that fight, by the way." She shrugged. "You lost. He won."

Charlotte had so many things she wanted to say to the young doctor. She wanted to get up and throw that little girl on the ground. I am fine, she wanted to say. But no matter how hard she tried to speak, she couldn't seem to form the words.

"Oh, and does he know?" Amelia now focused her attention on Cooper. "Does he know that every time you close your eyes you still see his face? Still see him on top of you...?"

"Please." Charlotte could feel the color drain from her face.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was that supposed to be a secret between friends? Because I kinda forgot about the whole friendship thing when you threatened to take my medical license away."

"Stop it, Amelia." Cooper warned.

"Or what?" She laughed. "What are you gonna do, Cooper? Why stand up for her now? I mean honestly, you kissed me while your wife was recovering from being brutally attacked. Real class act, Coop. Well done." She smiled wickedly. "Should have just slept with you, but I guess I didn't realize how much of a bitch Charlotte was at that point."

"Excuse me?" Charlotte glared.

"You didn't get the memo?" Amelia looked around. "Oh, I'm sorry. Well, here it is. You're a bitch." She nodded. "A total and complete bitch, and you deserved everything that happened to you."

Silence.

"Amelia Shepherd, you listen to me and you listen to me good because I'm only sayin' this once." She put her hand on her hip. "I want you to get help. I want you to get clean, I do. But once you're sober, God as my witness, I never…ever…want to see your face again." And with that, Charlotte rose from the couch, using the little dignity she had left to make a graceful exit.