Hello! This is the first chapter of my fanfic, Sealed in a Locket - Shiori
x Juri. This is my first real shot at yuri [shoujo ai, I suppose], so I'm
sorry if it's not very good. I've written a few shounen ai fics before, but
oh well. [Note: All fics I have posted are crap. Do not read them. Thank
you.] This is the third time I've worked on this fic. In this update I
edited it, characterized Juri more, made it seem more natural, etc. I
promise to write a second chapter eventually, but I just thought I should
edit it a bit more now. ^.^ Thank you for your support!
~Ryze Phoenix~ -e-
I clutched the locket close to my chest and whispered a compassionate word to it. As I tucked it back into my blouse I stood and glanced about the school. Everyone was enjoying themselves -- everyone but me. Then I noticed her. The one who ruined my life -and kept it in order. The one who brought sunshine to my world of darkness, and yet lived as a cloud, hiding my happiness. She's a walking oxymoron, so why do I... Why?
I keep running this simple question through my head, still not grasping the answer. Love works in odd ways, I'm sure many people can agree upon that. However, sometimes love is hated. But why? Why?
"Good morning, Arisugawa," greeted Tenjou Utena with a small bow out of respect.
I muttered a few things under my breath then looked the girl over. She had beaten me once before, but that wasn't a miracle. There are no such things as miracles. I'm sure of it.
"How's the guidance councilor?" I asked, deciding to be nice for a change.
"She's alright. She's kind of laying off me." "Is that so?" I questioned. "I should go. I'll see you later."
Sometimes I just can't stay nice for a while. Then I just excuse myself. Usually I don't have to talk to people though; they fear me due to rumors. Rumors has it, I hold the teachers in my palm, but who knows for sure. Rumors are strange things. Whether bad or good, I didn't care. They didn't really matter to me - they weren't eternal.
As I walked down the hallway of Otori Academy I spotted Kiryuu Touga, the Student Council president. Only he knew of... her... But it didn't matter. A person is still a person. He too, didn't matter to me. Yes, he also dueled, but Tenjou did as well. She doesn't matter much either. She can't break the world's shell.
"For the revolution of the world," I murmured clenching a fist.
"Juri... An unexpected surprise," he said nodding.
I made a noise of recognition and nodded my head. He took that as a sign that I didn't want to talk, however, he had his own plans, which involved me talking. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to someone. I just wanted to get to my room. To be myself again. To be free. I pressed forward but his arm caught me and held me back.
"Wait now. I want to talk. End of the World?" he asked raising an eyebrow.
"Not now. This isn't the time or the place. Excuse me."
I pressed on and acknowledged that he understood I would not speak. He let me go and smirked as I headed off.
"I guess you're right! Somewhere else? Something. eternal?" he called, almost amused with my pain.
I lowered my eyebrows and clenched my teeth. I like the shadows better, and Kiryuu Touga knows this. He was trying to get me to come back out of some false guilt only he could wrap about people. But it wouldn't work!
I threw upon the door and slammed it shut behind me. My eyes fell upon my old class portrait. My hair was still down, not tightly spun as it is now. No stressful unrequited love had seized my soul. No birds of hatred or love had settled in my mind. They flew above, waited to strike their prey. If I'd only looked up to notice them... Maybe then I could have gotten them to fly away earlier. My eyes were shut; they must have been shut all year, for I couldn't have been blinder. All of my hopes and dreams had passed before me, all because of her.
I took a small glance into my locket at... her, holding it up to where it fit into the picture. She was turned away from me, turned towards him. Was I that disgusting to her? That despicable? Or was it just him? What was she doing to him? Whispering? What was she whispering? It was about me, I'm sure. She ruined everything. I know jealousy can control people's actions, but it didn't matter. Besides, I could have cared less. And in any case, it wasn't him... I glared at the two of them; they made a picture perfect couple. I hated it, she always thought she was gaining something by stealing any man I glanced at, however, she didn't know how much she was gaining, or rather, ruining. My hopes, dreams, future, and life were all trusted with her. Salt never healed wounds, someone once said. Only now do I understand how right they were.
I turned away from the framed picture, tightly closing the locket, my fist clenching about it before returning it to my neck, and headed toward the shower. I shed my clothing with the exception of the locket and opened the glass door. As I let the water undo my hair and my body be cleansed I thought out the scenario with her. Why was she so important? What was it about her... that... I couldn't take it!
I harshly turned the knob off to stop the water, drying myself off, and then put a comfortable dress on. No one thought of me as wearing a dress, as Tenjou had once said, "You look cool in your uniform, but I'm sure a lot of people would be surprised if they saw you in that. You look like a super model." If flattering, it did not flatter me. That girl is plotting something, she has the rose seal, yet it was only given to her by some guy she likes. How can she wear it with honor and pride? I earned mine, yet she was tricked into wearing hers.
I hated it when people copy something just because they liked it. Or when people sold something falsely such as words or objects. Like justice, or peace, or... or miracles. I blinked away what would have become tears, determined not to cry, and opened the door to the outside.
I slowly made my way through the white marble arrangement the school had made on their balcony and seated myself along the edge. I pawed at my hair then brushed it back over my shoulder with one flick of my hand. After a while of peace I noticed I wasn't the only one on the balcony. Across, on the other side, stood one lone figure. I squinted to see if I could make out who it was. It was... her...
My eyes widened in disbelief as I started dashing haughtily back to my room. There, in my own quarters, I didn't have to worry about seeing her. I didn't have to worry about anything. I could be free. It really was the only place I could let myself go. It was my constant, my eternal. I could stop being a fighter, and be more of a normal person. I could do whatever I very well pleased. But it was just one small room. I was confined, trapped, and married off to bondage. Could I really be free in that little space? No, I had been forced to admit, but it was all I had. People often long for something more in their life. I like to take what I have and use it; I'm thankful for what I have. But then again, there is something I really want, or shall I say someone?
But it wasn't really about her. It was about my life, about being free. That was what I really wanted, wasn't it? No, a voice inside kept telling my outer self. But it didn't matter!
I ran even faster, picking up my dress as I sprinted away. I know she noticed me, for I'd seen a figure running toward me. I had quickly slammed the door behind me and then only a few minutes later did I hear a knock. I didn't answer it, for I knew it was her. I knew what would happen as well.
I would answer the door with a perplexed look on my face only to have her extend an arm towards me with an orange rose in hand. She'd wear a giddy grin upon her face and say something that would force a grin upon my own face. No, that wouldn't ever happen. I swore it would never be. "There are no such things as miracles," I uttered to myself, my back now ridged against the door.
I ignored her call. After a while she gave up and walked away. I looked through a small peephole at her, only to see her sullen shadow, sulking almost. A pain stung my heart. It was once said that it hurts to see your loved one in pain, more than for you to be in their place. As I wondered upon that thought about that I found myself saying, "If you were in you loved one's place wouldn't they feel your pain?" I guess the creator of the saying never pondered that. I guess he never envisioned that they would care enough for you. Perhaps that was his situation, his predicament.
No, that was my situation. It strained my soul to see her in pain, but she could have cared less about me if I were in her place. If she cried a single, transparent tear, visible only when one looked close and hard enough at her pale cheeks, I would notice. If I sobbed until my eyes were large, puffy, and pink, until my face was shriveled and my hair crumpled shamelessly about my face like ancient moss, clinging helplessly to a rotting log, even then she would not notice. However, I am not a fool, and I most certainly don't go knocking on people's doors.
"Maybe... maybe that's why... that's why she... she doesn't..."
My eyes stung from simply considering this thought.
"No," I said aloud. "That... that wouldn't happen."
Upon about lying to myself, I went to bed. This was just too much for one to handle in a single night. Sleep was always something to resort to; I could truly be free there. But could I really control myself? Then again, can I really control my well-being? Once again, I must answer no.
I lay my head upon the pillow and slowly closed my eyelids. It didn't take long until I was in a deep sleep, almost like being hypnotized, I couldn't control my actions. I dreamt of strange things, but the only dream I could vividly remember so that I could describe it clearly would be the one with her.
I was standing on a hill staring out upon a vast meadow. Everything was green and growing, fresh and abundant. The wind was lightly blowing, and the sky was clear of clouds.
Suddenly, a flash of purple broke loose as a thunderstorm began. The sky was now gray, and as the rained cracked its fiery whip of rage harder, everything's color melted away until it all was lost. The once green meadow was now nothing more than a dull gray plantation of death.
Then, from out of nowhere, she came. Only she was colorful in this world of monotonous black and white. A trail of color formed in her wake. The grass transformed from a gray mass to a once again flush greenness. She slowly made her way up the hill towards me. I looked away, pretending not to see her.
Once she reached the spot in which I stood she extended both arms and draped her hands slightly about my face. I cringed slightly, for I never enjoyed human contact. She drew herself closer to me, her own, unique scent of roses suffocating me, her carefree aura enveloping me in its senselessness. And yet, she crept closer, until her lips were blending with my own. Time held no meaning as color rushed back to me. I sighed and slowly wrapped my own arms around her. The two of us, standing there, at the top of that hill alone.
We hardly moved, the silence drawing us closer to the other. Her once- innocent lips, despite all words they once had spoken, now molded with mine. Her hands caressed my back, my numb fingers clinging helplessly about her. I quickly memorized her kiss, the softness, the passion, the tenderness and longing. The field about us blazed as the fire blazed about us from the moment our bodies touched. The light flickered down to what was color, if I had bothered to notice it. I was deeply wrapped in her touch, her hold on me, I could care less of what went on around me -- until I suddenly felt a lash of pain. My back stung, and I shuddered miserably. I couldn't let her go, I couldn't stand without her support. However, I knew it was also her causing this horrible pain. The field dulled in color, slowly turning back to black and white.
Our lips never separated as her blade cut deeper into my flesh. After a while she drop stepped, freeing her lips and knocking away my arms. I glared at her then swiveled slightly. As the field darkened to blackness I noticed only she and I lived in that world; only two minds thought, romanced, then hated.
I reached a trembling hand over toward my back. I felt the parted skin, the oozing blood, warm and sticky to my touch. I then held my hand to my face and saw the stains of red that had claimed my once pure skin. The skin she had touched, caressed - and betrayed. My vision blurred after that point, and I collapsed due to loss of blood. The only words I could hear in my world of darkness were of her echoing, "And I'm not sorry at all." And I'm not sorry at all. And I'm not sorry at all.
I awoke to the comforting ticking of my clock and the muffled sounds of voices from other rooms. As I lay in bed, I wondered what it all meant, oblivious that this was what was occurring - even now. If I'd only know better. then. then maybe... No. A simple two-letter word was my answer - to more things than one. It held its values, which I greatly respected.
I had then shifted off the covers and stepped out of my bed on to the cold floor. It was slightly before dawn, and only the early risers were up. I opened a window and the golden and pink pillars of light floated into my darkened room, illuminating it with their heavenly glow, penetrating the cold surface of my floor. I squinted slightly, until my eyes adjusted to the light.
My straight face also adjusted, bring upon the pretense of a smile. The colors were beautiful, for I could stare at them forever and never become bored. I wish they would swallow me up, causing me to be lost in a sea of peach-like foam. I could almost taste the light, it looked so lovely and wonderful. My smile slowly faded and I set about getting dressed. I shed my nightgown and replaced it with my school uniform. As I finished buttoning the top few buttons, I heard a knock on the door.
I slipped out of my bathroom toward the door and slowly opened it. As I glanced over the caller, my eyes widened, then quickly narrowed.
"What do you want?" I asked haughtily.
She smiled a welcoming smile and held out an orange rose.
"To say good morning, Juri. Is there a problem?"
I sighed and took a glimpse about my room. My eyes fell upon the class picture with a portion of it cut out.
"Come in," I said irritably.
I dashed over to the table where the picture rested and knocked it over. She glanced at the upside down picture and blinked as if asking a question. Slowly, she walked over and picked up the framed portrait. Suddenly, I knocked it out of her hand. My eyes turned to slits and I instructed her to leave it be.
"But... Juri..."
"Leave it be, Shiroi," I said forcefully.
She blinked questionably again, and I quickly turned around; our faces had been only inches apart, almost touching. I batted a bit of hair out of my face and sighed.
"Why did you come anyway?" I asked.
"As I said, to say good morning," she replied.
"You did that. And?"
"Actually, I never said anything." Her face brightened. "Good morning, Juri!" she proclaimed and handed me the rose.
I groaned and placed the rose upon the table where the picture was once standing.
"Now can you leave?" I questioned.
"What's wrong with me staying a while?" she asked, smiling as she sat herself down on a chair, making herself comfortable - something she did irritably well.
I gritted my teeth and uneasily sat down on the edge of my bed. I studied her over, as if that would tell me why she was really here. Unexpectedly, I asked her just that in the most blunt manner possible. Again.
"Why did you really come?"
She smiled; it was a twisted and sickly sweet smile, like a small child who just got away with something they knew was bad. But then again, wasn't that just what she was? Yes, I now declared in my mind. She's just a minuscule puppet, a toy, and nothing more. My steady glare was too much for me to muster, I could no longer bear to watch her evil grin; I had to look away.
"To say good morning," she chimed.
My gaze rested upon the floor, it's hard surface as hard as my own. The fragments of light shining from my window glimmered upon the marble, but didn't affect it in any way. Us two, we're so alike...
"Feh," I muttered, cocking me head aside to the wall. "And why won't you leave?"
"Because... I want to just... be here... Is anything wrong with that?" she asked in a jingling voice.
"Yes," I said sharply. "I don't like company. Especially you."
"But Juri." she said, rising from her chair and approaching me in the slinky way she comes to people. She rested her arms on my shoulders, slowly leaning me back onto the bed, her scent, her aura, surrounding me again. Her hands slipped to my chest, undoing the first few buttons on my top, searching for where my locket hung. Upon finding it her fingers wrapped about the golden piece of jewelry, her eyes rested on its oval shape. Her chin rose, and her lips reached towards mine, her right hand folding loosely about my face. She began to close the gap, when my hand suddenly reached about before striking her. She stumbled back, holding her left arm to face after dropping my locket. "Fine!" she yelled, quickly coming to her senses. She made her way across the room towards the door. "But if you really don't want me," she stated, her eyes larger than normal and her hands trembling, "I'll leave!"
With that, she slammed the door causing the room to shake slightly. My lip quivered and my eyes stung.
"I'm sorry!" I cried out, my head embedding itself into a pillow as my tears lay upon its soft surface.
My body trembled with each sob, or perhaps the fight against those sobs, the muscles in my back tense as I wept upon my bed. My hair hung loosely, framing my frail face, the edges damp with my tears. I don't know how long I cried, nor did it matter. Although I couldn't change what I had said to her, done to her, what I've always said to her, how I've always rejected her, each tear seemed to make up for each deed I had bestowed upon myself, and her, each droplet surely repented for the same cause.
"Wa- Wait," I told myself in a shaking voice. "What about her?" I questioned. "She's treated me worse, caused more pain, more scars upon my heart. Yes, I'm sorry. Sorry for all I've done, but I'm more sorry for all she's done. I'm sure her heart, I'm sure it carries more wounds then mine."
I raised my head from being muffled within the pillow and took a glance about my room. My eyes seemed pink and puffy, glossed over as well from crying. I knew she wouldn't care. But it didn't matter. I looked down at the marble floor, the one with the light reflecting upon it. I stood from my awkward position and walked over to where the curtain stayed folded to the sides of the window. With both hands, I undid each of the lace-ups holding the fabric away and let it fall over the window, blocking out the light. With an approving smirk, I looked down at the floor, its darkness blank, yet seemingly happy to me. It was without the glare of light, without the reflection of the burning sun.
Us two, we're so alike.
~Ryze Phoenix~ -e-
I clutched the locket close to my chest and whispered a compassionate word to it. As I tucked it back into my blouse I stood and glanced about the school. Everyone was enjoying themselves -- everyone but me. Then I noticed her. The one who ruined my life -and kept it in order. The one who brought sunshine to my world of darkness, and yet lived as a cloud, hiding my happiness. She's a walking oxymoron, so why do I... Why?
I keep running this simple question through my head, still not grasping the answer. Love works in odd ways, I'm sure many people can agree upon that. However, sometimes love is hated. But why? Why?
"Good morning, Arisugawa," greeted Tenjou Utena with a small bow out of respect.
I muttered a few things under my breath then looked the girl over. She had beaten me once before, but that wasn't a miracle. There are no such things as miracles. I'm sure of it.
"How's the guidance councilor?" I asked, deciding to be nice for a change.
"She's alright. She's kind of laying off me." "Is that so?" I questioned. "I should go. I'll see you later."
Sometimes I just can't stay nice for a while. Then I just excuse myself. Usually I don't have to talk to people though; they fear me due to rumors. Rumors has it, I hold the teachers in my palm, but who knows for sure. Rumors are strange things. Whether bad or good, I didn't care. They didn't really matter to me - they weren't eternal.
As I walked down the hallway of Otori Academy I spotted Kiryuu Touga, the Student Council president. Only he knew of... her... But it didn't matter. A person is still a person. He too, didn't matter to me. Yes, he also dueled, but Tenjou did as well. She doesn't matter much either. She can't break the world's shell.
"For the revolution of the world," I murmured clenching a fist.
"Juri... An unexpected surprise," he said nodding.
I made a noise of recognition and nodded my head. He took that as a sign that I didn't want to talk, however, he had his own plans, which involved me talking. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to someone. I just wanted to get to my room. To be myself again. To be free. I pressed forward but his arm caught me and held me back.
"Wait now. I want to talk. End of the World?" he asked raising an eyebrow.
"Not now. This isn't the time or the place. Excuse me."
I pressed on and acknowledged that he understood I would not speak. He let me go and smirked as I headed off.
"I guess you're right! Somewhere else? Something. eternal?" he called, almost amused with my pain.
I lowered my eyebrows and clenched my teeth. I like the shadows better, and Kiryuu Touga knows this. He was trying to get me to come back out of some false guilt only he could wrap about people. But it wouldn't work!
I threw upon the door and slammed it shut behind me. My eyes fell upon my old class portrait. My hair was still down, not tightly spun as it is now. No stressful unrequited love had seized my soul. No birds of hatred or love had settled in my mind. They flew above, waited to strike their prey. If I'd only looked up to notice them... Maybe then I could have gotten them to fly away earlier. My eyes were shut; they must have been shut all year, for I couldn't have been blinder. All of my hopes and dreams had passed before me, all because of her.
I took a small glance into my locket at... her, holding it up to where it fit into the picture. She was turned away from me, turned towards him. Was I that disgusting to her? That despicable? Or was it just him? What was she doing to him? Whispering? What was she whispering? It was about me, I'm sure. She ruined everything. I know jealousy can control people's actions, but it didn't matter. Besides, I could have cared less. And in any case, it wasn't him... I glared at the two of them; they made a picture perfect couple. I hated it, she always thought she was gaining something by stealing any man I glanced at, however, she didn't know how much she was gaining, or rather, ruining. My hopes, dreams, future, and life were all trusted with her. Salt never healed wounds, someone once said. Only now do I understand how right they were.
I turned away from the framed picture, tightly closing the locket, my fist clenching about it before returning it to my neck, and headed toward the shower. I shed my clothing with the exception of the locket and opened the glass door. As I let the water undo my hair and my body be cleansed I thought out the scenario with her. Why was she so important? What was it about her... that... I couldn't take it!
I harshly turned the knob off to stop the water, drying myself off, and then put a comfortable dress on. No one thought of me as wearing a dress, as Tenjou had once said, "You look cool in your uniform, but I'm sure a lot of people would be surprised if they saw you in that. You look like a super model." If flattering, it did not flatter me. That girl is plotting something, she has the rose seal, yet it was only given to her by some guy she likes. How can she wear it with honor and pride? I earned mine, yet she was tricked into wearing hers.
I hated it when people copy something just because they liked it. Or when people sold something falsely such as words or objects. Like justice, or peace, or... or miracles. I blinked away what would have become tears, determined not to cry, and opened the door to the outside.
I slowly made my way through the white marble arrangement the school had made on their balcony and seated myself along the edge. I pawed at my hair then brushed it back over my shoulder with one flick of my hand. After a while of peace I noticed I wasn't the only one on the balcony. Across, on the other side, stood one lone figure. I squinted to see if I could make out who it was. It was... her...
My eyes widened in disbelief as I started dashing haughtily back to my room. There, in my own quarters, I didn't have to worry about seeing her. I didn't have to worry about anything. I could be free. It really was the only place I could let myself go. It was my constant, my eternal. I could stop being a fighter, and be more of a normal person. I could do whatever I very well pleased. But it was just one small room. I was confined, trapped, and married off to bondage. Could I really be free in that little space? No, I had been forced to admit, but it was all I had. People often long for something more in their life. I like to take what I have and use it; I'm thankful for what I have. But then again, there is something I really want, or shall I say someone?
But it wasn't really about her. It was about my life, about being free. That was what I really wanted, wasn't it? No, a voice inside kept telling my outer self. But it didn't matter!
I ran even faster, picking up my dress as I sprinted away. I know she noticed me, for I'd seen a figure running toward me. I had quickly slammed the door behind me and then only a few minutes later did I hear a knock. I didn't answer it, for I knew it was her. I knew what would happen as well.
I would answer the door with a perplexed look on my face only to have her extend an arm towards me with an orange rose in hand. She'd wear a giddy grin upon her face and say something that would force a grin upon my own face. No, that wouldn't ever happen. I swore it would never be. "There are no such things as miracles," I uttered to myself, my back now ridged against the door.
I ignored her call. After a while she gave up and walked away. I looked through a small peephole at her, only to see her sullen shadow, sulking almost. A pain stung my heart. It was once said that it hurts to see your loved one in pain, more than for you to be in their place. As I wondered upon that thought about that I found myself saying, "If you were in you loved one's place wouldn't they feel your pain?" I guess the creator of the saying never pondered that. I guess he never envisioned that they would care enough for you. Perhaps that was his situation, his predicament.
No, that was my situation. It strained my soul to see her in pain, but she could have cared less about me if I were in her place. If she cried a single, transparent tear, visible only when one looked close and hard enough at her pale cheeks, I would notice. If I sobbed until my eyes were large, puffy, and pink, until my face was shriveled and my hair crumpled shamelessly about my face like ancient moss, clinging helplessly to a rotting log, even then she would not notice. However, I am not a fool, and I most certainly don't go knocking on people's doors.
"Maybe... maybe that's why... that's why she... she doesn't..."
My eyes stung from simply considering this thought.
"No," I said aloud. "That... that wouldn't happen."
Upon about lying to myself, I went to bed. This was just too much for one to handle in a single night. Sleep was always something to resort to; I could truly be free there. But could I really control myself? Then again, can I really control my well-being? Once again, I must answer no.
I lay my head upon the pillow and slowly closed my eyelids. It didn't take long until I was in a deep sleep, almost like being hypnotized, I couldn't control my actions. I dreamt of strange things, but the only dream I could vividly remember so that I could describe it clearly would be the one with her.
I was standing on a hill staring out upon a vast meadow. Everything was green and growing, fresh and abundant. The wind was lightly blowing, and the sky was clear of clouds.
Suddenly, a flash of purple broke loose as a thunderstorm began. The sky was now gray, and as the rained cracked its fiery whip of rage harder, everything's color melted away until it all was lost. The once green meadow was now nothing more than a dull gray plantation of death.
Then, from out of nowhere, she came. Only she was colorful in this world of monotonous black and white. A trail of color formed in her wake. The grass transformed from a gray mass to a once again flush greenness. She slowly made her way up the hill towards me. I looked away, pretending not to see her.
Once she reached the spot in which I stood she extended both arms and draped her hands slightly about my face. I cringed slightly, for I never enjoyed human contact. She drew herself closer to me, her own, unique scent of roses suffocating me, her carefree aura enveloping me in its senselessness. And yet, she crept closer, until her lips were blending with my own. Time held no meaning as color rushed back to me. I sighed and slowly wrapped my own arms around her. The two of us, standing there, at the top of that hill alone.
We hardly moved, the silence drawing us closer to the other. Her once- innocent lips, despite all words they once had spoken, now molded with mine. Her hands caressed my back, my numb fingers clinging helplessly about her. I quickly memorized her kiss, the softness, the passion, the tenderness and longing. The field about us blazed as the fire blazed about us from the moment our bodies touched. The light flickered down to what was color, if I had bothered to notice it. I was deeply wrapped in her touch, her hold on me, I could care less of what went on around me -- until I suddenly felt a lash of pain. My back stung, and I shuddered miserably. I couldn't let her go, I couldn't stand without her support. However, I knew it was also her causing this horrible pain. The field dulled in color, slowly turning back to black and white.
Our lips never separated as her blade cut deeper into my flesh. After a while she drop stepped, freeing her lips and knocking away my arms. I glared at her then swiveled slightly. As the field darkened to blackness I noticed only she and I lived in that world; only two minds thought, romanced, then hated.
I reached a trembling hand over toward my back. I felt the parted skin, the oozing blood, warm and sticky to my touch. I then held my hand to my face and saw the stains of red that had claimed my once pure skin. The skin she had touched, caressed - and betrayed. My vision blurred after that point, and I collapsed due to loss of blood. The only words I could hear in my world of darkness were of her echoing, "And I'm not sorry at all." And I'm not sorry at all. And I'm not sorry at all.
I awoke to the comforting ticking of my clock and the muffled sounds of voices from other rooms. As I lay in bed, I wondered what it all meant, oblivious that this was what was occurring - even now. If I'd only know better. then. then maybe... No. A simple two-letter word was my answer - to more things than one. It held its values, which I greatly respected.
I had then shifted off the covers and stepped out of my bed on to the cold floor. It was slightly before dawn, and only the early risers were up. I opened a window and the golden and pink pillars of light floated into my darkened room, illuminating it with their heavenly glow, penetrating the cold surface of my floor. I squinted slightly, until my eyes adjusted to the light.
My straight face also adjusted, bring upon the pretense of a smile. The colors were beautiful, for I could stare at them forever and never become bored. I wish they would swallow me up, causing me to be lost in a sea of peach-like foam. I could almost taste the light, it looked so lovely and wonderful. My smile slowly faded and I set about getting dressed. I shed my nightgown and replaced it with my school uniform. As I finished buttoning the top few buttons, I heard a knock on the door.
I slipped out of my bathroom toward the door and slowly opened it. As I glanced over the caller, my eyes widened, then quickly narrowed.
"What do you want?" I asked haughtily.
She smiled a welcoming smile and held out an orange rose.
"To say good morning, Juri. Is there a problem?"
I sighed and took a glimpse about my room. My eyes fell upon the class picture with a portion of it cut out.
"Come in," I said irritably.
I dashed over to the table where the picture rested and knocked it over. She glanced at the upside down picture and blinked as if asking a question. Slowly, she walked over and picked up the framed portrait. Suddenly, I knocked it out of her hand. My eyes turned to slits and I instructed her to leave it be.
"But... Juri..."
"Leave it be, Shiroi," I said forcefully.
She blinked questionably again, and I quickly turned around; our faces had been only inches apart, almost touching. I batted a bit of hair out of my face and sighed.
"Why did you come anyway?" I asked.
"As I said, to say good morning," she replied.
"You did that. And?"
"Actually, I never said anything." Her face brightened. "Good morning, Juri!" she proclaimed and handed me the rose.
I groaned and placed the rose upon the table where the picture was once standing.
"Now can you leave?" I questioned.
"What's wrong with me staying a while?" she asked, smiling as she sat herself down on a chair, making herself comfortable - something she did irritably well.
I gritted my teeth and uneasily sat down on the edge of my bed. I studied her over, as if that would tell me why she was really here. Unexpectedly, I asked her just that in the most blunt manner possible. Again.
"Why did you really come?"
She smiled; it was a twisted and sickly sweet smile, like a small child who just got away with something they knew was bad. But then again, wasn't that just what she was? Yes, I now declared in my mind. She's just a minuscule puppet, a toy, and nothing more. My steady glare was too much for me to muster, I could no longer bear to watch her evil grin; I had to look away.
"To say good morning," she chimed.
My gaze rested upon the floor, it's hard surface as hard as my own. The fragments of light shining from my window glimmered upon the marble, but didn't affect it in any way. Us two, we're so alike...
"Feh," I muttered, cocking me head aside to the wall. "And why won't you leave?"
"Because... I want to just... be here... Is anything wrong with that?" she asked in a jingling voice.
"Yes," I said sharply. "I don't like company. Especially you."
"But Juri." she said, rising from her chair and approaching me in the slinky way she comes to people. She rested her arms on my shoulders, slowly leaning me back onto the bed, her scent, her aura, surrounding me again. Her hands slipped to my chest, undoing the first few buttons on my top, searching for where my locket hung. Upon finding it her fingers wrapped about the golden piece of jewelry, her eyes rested on its oval shape. Her chin rose, and her lips reached towards mine, her right hand folding loosely about my face. She began to close the gap, when my hand suddenly reached about before striking her. She stumbled back, holding her left arm to face after dropping my locket. "Fine!" she yelled, quickly coming to her senses. She made her way across the room towards the door. "But if you really don't want me," she stated, her eyes larger than normal and her hands trembling, "I'll leave!"
With that, she slammed the door causing the room to shake slightly. My lip quivered and my eyes stung.
"I'm sorry!" I cried out, my head embedding itself into a pillow as my tears lay upon its soft surface.
My body trembled with each sob, or perhaps the fight against those sobs, the muscles in my back tense as I wept upon my bed. My hair hung loosely, framing my frail face, the edges damp with my tears. I don't know how long I cried, nor did it matter. Although I couldn't change what I had said to her, done to her, what I've always said to her, how I've always rejected her, each tear seemed to make up for each deed I had bestowed upon myself, and her, each droplet surely repented for the same cause.
"Wa- Wait," I told myself in a shaking voice. "What about her?" I questioned. "She's treated me worse, caused more pain, more scars upon my heart. Yes, I'm sorry. Sorry for all I've done, but I'm more sorry for all she's done. I'm sure her heart, I'm sure it carries more wounds then mine."
I raised my head from being muffled within the pillow and took a glance about my room. My eyes seemed pink and puffy, glossed over as well from crying. I knew she wouldn't care. But it didn't matter. I looked down at the marble floor, the one with the light reflecting upon it. I stood from my awkward position and walked over to where the curtain stayed folded to the sides of the window. With both hands, I undid each of the lace-ups holding the fabric away and let it fall over the window, blocking out the light. With an approving smirk, I looked down at the floor, its darkness blank, yet seemingly happy to me. It was without the glare of light, without the reflection of the burning sun.
Us two, we're so alike.