Clamp Campus Detectives Sigh... What can I say.. this is gonna be CCD fluff... at least I plan for it to be... it's the first thing I've attempted writing fluff for... so we'll just wait and see how it turns out, neh?
Clamp Campus Detectives;
To Get Kaichou to do His Work...


Takamura Suoh closed the door behind him and gave a weary sigh. Ijyuin Akira, who'd just come down the hall with a tray of tea and cookies gave him a puzzled look.

"What's wrong, Takamura-senpai?"
{Kaichou = president}

"Kaichou," was Suoh's one word response, though the one word was all that was needed.

"Oh! Is Kaichou avoiding his paperwork again?"

"Hai," Suoh sighed again, "Sometimes I feel as though the only way we could get Kaichou to diligently do something is if we were female."

Akira stared at him for a few seconds before exclaiming, "Sugoi! What a great idea, Takamura-senpai!"

With that said Akira handed Suoh a tea cup, some cookies, and then opened the door to the Elementary Division Student Council room.

"Akira! I have been looking forward to your food all day. We simply must take a break to properly enjoy it," Imonoyama Nokoru's warm greeting floated out the open door. Suoh meanwhile was trying to figure out exactly what in what he said was a good idea. Finally he dismissed it as irrelevant and went on his way.

The next day Suoh arrived at the council room early on Akira's request. When he got there he found not the Elementary Student Council Treasurer, but a strange dark haired girl. He was about to ask who she was when the girl spoke...

"Ohaiyo, Takamura-senpai!" and was revealed to be Akira.
{Ohaiyo = Good morning}

"Ijyuin, why are you dressed like that?" Suoh asked after the shock wore off.

Akira looked confused, "But... it was your idea, Takamura-senpai."

"What was my idea?"

"That we'd have to be female to get Kaichou to do his work."

"Oh." Was the only response Suoh had to that.

Akira smiled brightly and held out a wig and a girl's school uniform. "Here you go Takamura-senpai!"

Suoh took the items reluctantly. Staring down at them he asked, "Where did you get these from, Ijyuin?"

"Mothers have a whole box full of wigs in the attic and I just borrowed the uniforms."

As Suoh looked at the items he held in his hand, then at the brightly smiling Akira he thought to himself, This will never work... but...

Suoh knew that to get his 'Kaichou' to work he'd try anything. So he sighed and went off to change.

Suoh looked in the mirror that Akira, who was quite please with the results, had dragged him to. He looked like a female version of himself. Or like his mother had when she was younger. Now wasn't that a disturbing thought? The school uniform was just a little too small but not noticeable so. The wig Akira had chosen was the same blue as his own, only much, much longer. Past his waist in fact... and styled by Akira in two pigtails which looked disturbingly like Azuya Nagisa's hairstyle. Suoh eyed Akira, he still couldn't figure out if the hair style was deliberate or not.

Akira meanwhile had shoulder length, wavy black hair, some of which was pulled back with a bright pink bow. With the exception of the wave and the bow colour Akira looked like an older version of Ohkawa Utako (Suoh didn't think that he'd ever seen Utako with any other colour than yellow in her hair).

Suoh sighed, this was so demeaning. Akira meanwhile was getting excited. Suoh gave one more sigh before turning to Akira.

"Now let's go over the details once more."

"Hai!" Akira exclaimed.
{Hai = yes}

When Nokoru entered the council room he was met by a very different sight than he was used to. Flipping his fan open so that it covered his wide smile he asked, "Who might you two lovely ladies be?"

Suoh sweat dropped, He can't possibly be falling for this. Kaichou has a sixth sense when it comes to woman... there's no way we can be fooling him.

Akira grinned and cheerfully responded, "Kaneko Jun desu! Ohaiyo, Kaichou."

Suoh forced a smile and tried to keep his voice light and girlish, "Suzuki Sugi desu. Ohaiyo."

"Ohaiyo," Nokoru greeted, "A pleasure to meet you. Now, if I may ask, what brings you here?"

Suoh somehow still managed to keep his voice light, though inwardly he was despairing over the feeble cover story, "Takamura-sama, and Ijyuin-sama couldn't make it today, so they sent us to assist you."

"I'll have to thank them later," the fan snapped closed and Nokoru gave them a warm smile.

Suoh nodded. Nokoru actually seemed to be believing this. Suoh was amazed... was this actually working? Well, now for the final test, of both the plan and his acting abilities.

"Kaichou!" he exclaimed in his best panicked voice, "I do so want to do a good job, but with this pile of papers I fear we shall never get done!"

And there really were a lot of papers. They seemed to have migrated off of Nokoru's desk and were piled, almost up to the ceiling, around his desk. There must have been tens of thousands of papers to go through. A good weeks worth for any normal person and a good day's worth for a diligently working Nokoru.

Suoh added the final touch on his acting job, "I simply feel faint at the thought that we might not get done."

Akira nodded in agreement, though the big smile on his face negated the effect. The fan was up over Nokoru's face again and written on it were the words, Diligent worker.

"Please be assured Sugi-san, Jun-san, we shall surely get through them all. In fact I'll start on them right now," and Nokoru did just that. He sat down at his desk, grabbed a file, read it, and stamped his approval.

Suoh stood staring at him in shock for a whole minute, I can't believe this is working. Perhaps we should have thought of it a long time ago.

Akira touched his elbow and Suoh snapped out of his revere. Shooting one last look at the diligently working Nokoru, Suoh sat down at his own desk and started to work as well. Akira sat happily at his desk, pleased that everything seemed to be going so well. But of course it would be... after all it was one of Suoh's ideas. Smiling broadly, Akira pulled out his abacus and began calculating the costs for the upcoming ball.

By mid afternoon, Suoh was still having trouble believing how well everything was going. He had to keep shooting glances at Nokoru to make sure that he really was working... and working hard. Already the piles had been halved. It was really quite amazing... and then he noticed Akira standing up. Looking at the time Suoh noticed it was almost afternoon tea, which meant that Akira must be going to fix some tea and snacks, just as he did at this time everyday they worked.

Suoh tried to very subtly get Akira's attention. If he went now, as he always did, surely Nokoru would notice and the jig would be up, sort to speak. His efforts must have been too subtle for Akira didn't notice them and he left the room, just as he always did.

Suoh spent the next fifteen minutes sweating. This was starting to tax his nerves. The last thing he wanted, especially this late in the game, was for his best friend and that 'special someone' he was to protect to figure out that he had just spent a better part of the day in drag. Not to mention that once figured out, this wonderfully diligent attitude of his would dissolve and the paperwork would start piling up once more.

Just as Suoh was working himself up into a good worry, Akira came through the door carrying a tray on which sat milk tea and a mouth watering apple pie (sorry, couldn't help myself). Nokoru watched all this with interest, the fan once again hiding his face.

Akira walked right up to Nokoru's desk and asked, "Would you like some tea and pie, Kaichou? I'm afraid it's not very good, as I made it myself but..."

"I'm sure it is delicious, Jun-san, I would love some," Nokoru punctuated his words by closing his fan and taking a piece of the pie. Akira smiled widely and poured the tea. Suoh almost fell over in relief. He didn't notice!

As soon as Akira had finished serving Nokoru, he picked up his tray and walked over to Suoh, "Would you like some Tak-" he broke off as soon as he noticed the warning look Suoh was giving him, "Um... would you like some tea Sugi-senpai?"

Suoh shot Nokoru a glance. He was very immersed in his tea and didn't seem to have noticed the slip up. Suoh wondered briefly if he had walked through a field of four leaf clovers before accepting the tea. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Nokoru.

"Jun-san!" Nokoru exclaimed as soon as he had finished his tea and pie. Akira looked at him. "That was wonderful, you're as good of a cook as Akira is!"

Akira blinked as though not knowing how to take that. He was a genuinely humble person and this was a double complement... though if he truly did not feel that his cooking was the best normally, then getting compared to it was... Akira started to get very confused as he thought about it. He blinked a bit before hesitantly saying, "Arigato, Kaichou."
{Arigato = Thank you}

Nokoru beamed at Akira, "You're quite welcome, Jun-san."

As Akira sat back down, Suoh steadied his hand, which was starting to shake quite badly. This day was definitely testing his nerves.

They managed to get a couple of hours of work done before the inevitable happened. That's the thing about having tea, though it may be delicious and actually quite soothing at times, you are going to have to go to the washroom sooner or later. But even this was going to be a trial, for when Suoh stood, so did Akira and Nokoru.

Suoh kind of twitched. If Nokoru had to go at the same time as Akira and Suoh it meant that they could not use the boys washroom without revealing their secret. Which meant that they would have to venture into the forbidden realm of the girls washroom.

As the three of them wondered down the hall, Akira and Nokoru had a friendly conversation. Meanwhile Suoh fretted and pondered on what the forbidden realm would look like. It was probably very pink. Maybe it had flowers and other such girlie stuff all over the place. Of one thing he was certainly... it was likely better than the boys washroom.

The three of them stopped in front of the washrooms. Nokoru headed for the boys washroom and Akira made as though he was going to follow him. Suoh grabbed Akira's sleeve and yanked him into the girls washroom.

Suoh leaned against the inside of the door and sighed. So far so good. Now all he had to do was make it through the rest of the afternoon. He forced himself to relax.

Then a voice broke into his thoughts and he stiffened once more.

"Konnichi wa! Have we met before?"
{Konnichi wa = good afternoon}

Suoh and Akira looked up in horror to find Ohkawa Utako and Azuya Nagisa at the sinks washing their hands. Immediately both their faces went red and they stammered out together, "K-k-konnichi wa."

Utako dried off her hands and peered intently at the two boys. "What's wrong? Are you two ill, you look a little flushed."

"N-nothing's wrong, Utako-san," Akira managed to stammer out, turning even redder than before.

This only caused her to peer closer at Akira and Suoh. She once again asked, "Have we met before? You two seem very familiar. Don't you think so, Nagisa?"

"Hai," Nagisa replied in her soft voice. With that voice all coherent thought fled from Suoh. "Though I'm not sure where I've seen them before." She smiled sweetly and introduced herself, "I'm Azuya Nagisa desu, pleased to meet you."

"Ohkawa Utako desu." Utako give them a little curtsey and then looked at them expectantly.

Suoh's eyes widened as he realized he couldn't remember his made up girls name. All he could do was stare at Nagisa and blush. Beside him Akira was having the same problem as he stared at Utako.

Utako meanwhile was getting a little irritated at their rudeness. They had given their names, it was only polite of them to do the same.

Finally the names came to them in a flash of inspiration and they both shouted them out at the same time.

"Jun desu!" "Sugi desu!"

Utako and Nagisa blinked at this very loud confession of names. Suoh and Akira sweated for a bit before they were reminded of why they were there in the first place.

Akira bowed and said, "E-excuse me." before running for the nearest stall. Suoh followed his example. After they were finished and had exited the stalls to wash their hands they found that Utako and Nagisa were still there.

"So, what are you doing here anyway, Jun-san, Sugi-san?" Utako asked. It was obvious that she was suspicious of them.

Suoh and Akira dried their hands and tried to think of an answer, "Um..."

Utako held the door open for them, still looking expectantly at them expectantly for an answer.

"We're, uh, here to help-" Suoh started to say, but was interrupted by Nokoru.

"Ohkawa Kaichou, Nagisa-san," he greeted warmly, "What brings you here on a Sunday?"

Utako gave Nokoru a small curtsy and answered, "Konnichi wa Imonoyama Kaichou. We decided to come and cheer you guys up when we heard that the backlog of files was so bad that you were being forced to work on a Sunday."

Nokoru gave a small nervous giggle and held up his fan in front of his face, "Well... we're almost finished. It's a pity though that Suoh and Akira couldn't be here today. I'm sure they would have loved to have seen you lovely ladies again."

"Not here? Where are they?"

"They couldn't make it, but they sent Jun-san and Sugi-san to assist me."

Utako looked disappointed. She looked at the two guys in dresses, who under her scrutiny again immediately stiffened up.

Nagisa smiled and inputted softly, "That was nice of them."

Nokoru grinned, "Yes, it was."

Utako frowned as she looked at 'Jun' and 'Sugi'. She could have sworn that she had known them from somewhere, but she just couldn't quite put her finger on it. She decided to leave it as a mystery to ask Akira later and turned back to Nokoru, "Well, Imonoyama Kaichou, we don't want to take too much of your time, perhaps we should be going now."

"I understand Ohkawa Kaichou, but I'm almost finished. I was wondering if I could ask you a favour?"

"Of course Imonoyama Kaichou."

"Come to the council room, I'll explain as soon as I finish the last stack of papers. There is tea and pie while you wait. I'm afraid it's no longer hot but still very tasty. As good as anything Akira has every made."

Utako and Nagisa bowed in consent.

Nokoru stamped the last paper and smiled. Regardless of how much he put it off it truly was a wonderful feeling to finish. Now he had several weeks where he could let it pile up again.

He looked up, and saw that 'Jun' and 'Sugi' were all finished their work as well, and were currently sitting on the couch, having a conversation with Utako and Nagisa. Or to be more specific, were presently being interrogated by Utako.

Nokoru's smile grew and he opened his desk drawer to pull out a camera. He stood up and everyone turned to look at him.

"Now, Ohkawa Kaichou, I was wondering if you could get a picture of Jun-san, Sugi-san, and myself?"

Utako broke off her interrogation and answered, "Hai, Imonoyama Kaichou."

She took the camera and Akira and Suoh went to stand with Nokoru, one on either side of him. They were more relaxed as they realized that this day was soon to be over, and without either Nokoru or their girlfriends finding out about their day in drag.

The flash went off. Utako made as though to give back the camera but Nokoru held out his hand to stop her. "One more, if you please, Ohkawa Kaichou."

So Utako diligently raised the camera to her eye again. Just as her finger pressed down on the shutter Nokoru pulled off Suoh and Akira's wigs and their day of drag was forever captured on film.
The end.


Nokoru; Seeing Akira and Suoh in dresses was worth doing all that paperwork. ^-^


Written by Koneko, and completed August 31, during yet another sickness.

A few other translation notes.

-senpai; is, if I'm not mistaken, a way of referring to an upperclassman.