Eight months. Eight months to the day since Belle left him. No, thought Rumpelstiltskin as he spun, since I discovered her true intentions. The idea that Belle was working for the queen was a lie and he knew it, but it was a lie that kept his entire self from collapsing. He turned the wheel again and tried to forget the way her eyes laughed in the sunlight.
Just then, three short knocks echoed through his castle. Someone was at the door. Rumpelstiltskin stood and stretched. No matter his thoughts, there were deals to make and Dark One impulses to satisfy. He slowly walked to the door and pulled it open.
Belle stood on his doorstep. A very angry, very ragged Belle. "Belle..." he whispered.
"Rumpelstiltskin," she fairly growled. Her tone stayed the hand that he was reaching out to her. Something was not right, something more than there had been since Belle had last seen him. His eyes devoured her. The veritable rags she wore were nothing compared to her fine dresses, but she was still beautiful to him. Her eyes shone in fury, her hair was greasy and limp...and her belly was very, very pregnant.
"Belle..." he whispered hoarsely as he stared. There was a brief flicker of something good in her eyes before it dimmed to dull indifference. She murmured coldly,
"I'm sorry. Coming here was a mistake. Good day, Rumpelstiltskin." She spun on her heels and got one step before Rumpelstiltskin grabbed her arm,
"Belle, you're pregnant. Did I... Is it...?" Rumpelstiltskin couldn't get the words out. Belle wrapped her hands around her belly as she said softly,
"Yes. It's ours." Rumpelstiltskin stared in wonder. His Belle and he… had made this? He'd touched her one night, broken her maidenhead, and they had made this? It was amazing. He reached out a hand but Belle pulled back. There was something about her, the way she stood, that reminded him of a cornered animal. Something wild in her eyes, the way they would have split moments where she seemed to be looking through him. Rumpelstiltskin regretfully lowered his hand,
"Will you come in? Please?" Belle looked hesitant, not trusting the offer. Rumpelstiltskin hurried to say, "Just for dinner, if that's all you want. I just want to…talk." Belle moved one small step forward. Rumpelstiltskin smiled at her, and it wasn't his maniacal smile. It was gentle, kind, encouraging. The smile of a man, not a monster. It was that more than anything that convinced Belle to go into the house. She followed along the hall, up the stairs, through the dining room, and to the kitchen. He sat her down in a comfortable chair before bringing over a bowl of stew and a hunk of bread, setting both before her. Belle eyed them suspiciously.
"What's wrong with them?" she asked, hesitantly poking at the bread and sniffing the stew. Rumpelstiltskin could hear her stomach growl from across the room.
"Nothing, dear. It's just food, not poison." Belle picked up the bread and dipped just the tip into the stew, drawing it back and nibbling at the end. When she didn't immediately keel over, Belle's hunger won out and she quickly consumed that bowl of stew and another after that. As she ate, Rumpelstiltskin studied her. With the obvious exception of her belly, Belle was skinny. Her bones seemed to stick out and her skin practically hung off her bones. It seemed all her health had gone to providing for the baby. But when she chanced to look at him, there was still that same fire in her eyes. Perhaps a little less of the happiness and sunshine that she had sparkled with at first, but it was still Belle beneath that layer of filth and pain. When she was finished, she pushed herself back from the table and tried to stand. Rumpelstiltskin jumped forward to help her up but Belle waved him away, muttering,
"I made it eight months without you, I don't need you now." He had stepped back and watched silently as she struggled again, finally standing on the third try. She nodded to him, "Thank you for the meal. I'll be going now." Again she tried to leave, and again Rumpelstiltskin stopped her.
"At least take a bath or something before you leave. Being so dirty wouldn't be good for the baby if it was born now." He was being a manipulative bastard and they both knew it. Belle looked ready to refuse, but the good of her child stopped her. Hesitantly, she agreed,
"A bath. But then I'm leaving." Rumpelstiltskin nodded and held out his arm. Belle slowly slipped hers through his and he escorted her out of the kitchen. When they reached the stairs, Belle paused.
"I'm not sure I can do those." she said quietly. Rumpelstiltskin knew it was killing her to be so dependent. With strong arms, he swished Belle off her feet and carried her up the stairs. She was lighter than expected, even lighter than she had been the day she'd fallen off the curtains. Rumpelstiltskin swore there and then that no matter what she said, Belle would not leave his house until she put on at least ten pounds. When they reached the landing, he looked down to see Belle had fallen asleep in his arms, her hands limp behind his neck. With her curled like this, the bulge of her belly was even more apparent. As it pressed against him, Rumpelstiltskin felt something move. Their child. In that moment, it all became real to him. Belle was pregnant with their child. He was going to be a father again. Just the thought of it made him want to leap with happiness.
And then it sank in. Belle was pregnant. Belle would go through childbirth. Women died in childbirth. Belle would die. Rumpelstiltskin practically ran Belle to her room and gently laid her on the bed. Somehow, she'd stayed asleep, a soft smile slowly curling on her face. As she slept on her side, knees pulled up to her mountain of a belly and hair in disarray, she was beautiful. She had barely a month left before it would happen. One month Rumpelstiltskin was not prepared to waste. He quietly laid down on the bed, facing Belle. Her soft breath ruffled the curls by her face and even that small thing made Rumpelstiltskin want to kiss her senseless. Instead, he reached down and twined his fingers with hers over her belly. The baby bumped at his hand and Rumpelstiltskin grinned and brought his other hand up to rub at that place. As his hands rested, curiosity got the better of him. He pulled his hand from Belle's and laid both palms flat on her belly. Rumpelstiltskin closed his eyes and his magic told him everything: Healthy, strong. A baby boy. Even though he knew it was no more than a faint awareness, Rumpelstiltskin already loved his son. It was his. The baby growing in Belle was undeniably his. He could feel it, sense the little part of him that was in it. He grinned, his first truly painless smile since his curse. And that night, Belle and Rumpelstiltskin slept like that, his hands on her belly and his forehead almost touching her.
The next morning, Belle awakened first. Eight months of being on the run had conditioned her to rise early before other travelers were about. She didn't move an inch when she realized someone was touching her. Someone was touching her all over. Or was she touching them? Belle opened her eyes and barely suppressed a gasp. Her arms were wrapped around Rumpelstiltskin, holding him to her. And even worse, his arms were wrapped tightly around her. Her head was nestled under his chin and even in the shock of the moment, Belle couldn't help but notice that he smelled phenomenal. As she lay there, the previous night came trickling back to her.
This was bad. Bad bad bad horrible. Belle had sworn to herself every day since she'd left that she would not go back. Never ever, no matter how horrible things were or how badly she missed Rumpelstiltskin. She told it to herself every night and every morning. But she had not, on any day, ever said why. Even if her baby was still unborn, she would never let it realize why it would never know its father. Belle hadn't wanted it to know its father, to know the father that did not want it. But now those plans were gone. The moment Belle had set foot in Rumpelstiltskin's castle those plans had been gone.
Rumpelstiltskin stirred and Belle froze. It was too late to push him away now. Rumpelstiltskin yawned over her head and Belle could feel him start when he realized who he held. Belle remained still and breathed deeply. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but she wanted to know what he'd do.
He pulled her closer.
Though he couldn't see her face, Belle smiled. She almost snuggled closer, but her common sense took over. No no no, this would not happen. Belle pretended to shake herself awake and looked up. Her eyes widened and she scrambled to the other side of the bed. She stood and made some effort at smoothing out her nightgown.
"Thank you for your hospitality. But I've intruded too long. I'll dress and be gone." She waddled from the room, leaving a stunned Rumpelstiltskin. He'd held Belle. All night. The first night since she'd gone that he'd slept well. He jumped up and ran after her, catching her at the entrance to her room,
"Belle…" he said, hands reaching out to her. Belle whirled to face him and hissed through tears,
"I never meant to come here. I don't know why I came here, but I know it was a mistake. I never wanted you to find out about any of this. I'm going to go, and you're going to let me. Because I do not want my baby to grow up around a liar and a murderer." She slammed the door in his face. Rumpelstiltskin stepped back and it was all he could do just to stay upright. To be called a liar and a murderer was nothing new, but to hear the words fall from Belle's lips…It hurt like nothing else. She might as well have stabbed him and twisted the blade. But even as he stood braced against a wall and fighting back anger and tears, he still loved her. Gods knew he had loved her since before she'd left and he still loved her after. And if Belle had any say in it, she was going to walk away. Again. Walk away and die in childbirth and leave their baby alone in the world and Rumpelstiltskin would not let it happen.
Rumpelstiltskin wrenched open the door. Belle still wore her nightgown and spun to face him. Her hair had fallen out of its braid to frame her face. She practically growled,
"I'm sorry, was I not clear? Leave me alone, Rumpelstiltskin. I don't want you."
"But right now, I don't care what you want. I care that if you leave, our baby will die and you with it. We made a deal and you agreed to obey me forever. Well, I order you to come back and stay at least until the baby is born." As he had talked, he'd slowly advanced toward Belle and now they were face to face, her nose just inches from his. Belle stared up at him, fire still flickering in her eyes. This close, he could see the shadowing beneath her eyes and Rumpelstiltskin felt the guilt hit him again. Belle swallowed and whispered,
"Why? Why does it matter?"
"Because I don't want our child dead! I told you how I lost my son, don't make me lose a child again. Please, dearie." In that moment, as he begged, Belle could tell he wasn't the Dark One. This was Rumpelstiltskin, a man she saw so little of. He was begging. Belle sighed and nervously ran her hands over her belly, trying to calm the baby within.
"And what about me, Rumpelstiltskin. What about me?" She leaned just a tiny bit closer, looking up at him. Belle didn't know what she was doing, but this felt right. Maybe she was tired of fighting, tired of struggling so much. Maybe she was tired of being alone. Rumpelstiltskin swallowed. How quickly his Belle turned the tables.
"And you. I, I want you safe. I want you here."
"But why do you want me here, Rumpelstiltskin?" she said. Her voice was clearer, her strength coming back and Belle stood a little taller. Belle was in control. Control was something she knew how to do.
"Belle, I can't say it."
"Yes you can, Rumpelstiltskin. You know you can."
"I can't Belle." He stepped back and sat on her bed, sinking in on himself. "If I love you, if I break my spell, the Evil Queen will have no one to check her. She will be the only power in the land. I know I'm the villain, but she's worse. She's so much worse, Belle. I need my power, but not for me. Do you understand, Belle?" he looked up at her, his eyes begging. Belle sighed and sank onto the bed beside him, hand resting on her belly. She sighed,
"I understand. I don't like it, but I understand." Belle hesitated a moment, then laid her head on Rumpelstiltskin's shoulder. He smiled and lightly laid his arm on her shoulders. His other hand came around and he asked,
"May I…?"
"Of course." Said Belle. He laid the hand on her belly, felt his son moving in her. He smiled,
"Hello, m'boy. Be nice to your mama, you hear?"
"It's a boy?" asked Belle, a smile lighting up her face.
"A boy." confirmed Rumpelstiltskin. He asked, "What are we going to name him?"
"Anthony." said Belle confidently. Rumpelstiltskin mulled it over a second, then nodded.
"Anthony." He rubbed her belly, "Hello, Anthony." The baby kicked back, and Rumpelstiltskin smiled. Belle smiled at him and he leaned in, rubbing the tip of his nose across hers. Belle giggled,
"What was that?"
"That's how some people kiss." said Rumpelstiltskin with a smile. Belle laughed and leaned in, rubbing her nose across his. They'd make it work. Whether he could say it or not, Rumpelstiltskin loved her and she loved him, and the boy loved their baby Anthony.