Disclaimer: JKR owns everything, except my new kitten.
No warnings.
x~x
A Day To Remember
A grey February day was slowly dawning at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. A few rays of sunlight peeked briefly from behind the clouds, but they withdrew quickly as if in attempt to hide from the impending disaster.
Everything seemed to be calm and quiet and normal, but a single glance at the faces of the students and teachers gathering in the Great Hall for breakfast was enough to tell that this was not an ordinary Friday morning. The students were nibbling their breakfasts with expressions of pure terror and eager anticipation mixed on their faces. The teachers sat still, their food untouched. Dark circles under their eyes told a tale of a sleepless night spent in dread of this day.
Everyone kept looking around in a not-quite-so-subtle manner. At first, the eyes were fixed on Headmaster Dumbledore, who apparently was the only one in the Hall acting as if the day was not in any way different from the other days of the school year. He was, in fact, humming cheerfully as he stirred a liberal amount of lemon drops into his porridge. Then the people glanced warily at the four 7th year boys sitting in the Gryffindor table. Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black and James Potter were sitting on their usual seats with a slight, yet sinister smile on their lips. They seemed to be enjoying the general atmosphere while acting in an overly innocent manner that fooled nobody. This day happened to be Sirius Black's 18th birthday and everyone with even small fragments of brain in their skulls knew that no one would survive it untouched.
Professor Flitwick reached to whisper to extraordinarily stiff-faced professor McGonagall:
"Everything should be in order, Minerva. Horace has checked the breakfast and nothing unusual has been added to the food. I've checked the castle for any timed curses myself, and I also performed a little charm that will immediately reveal any magic used in the Gryffindor table."
"Excellent, Filius, thank you," McGonagall said and shot a murderous glare at the Headmaster. How could he be so calm, when there was to be expected one of the Marauders' 'little pranks', as they called them, or ' a serious breaking of school rules and merciless humiliating of students and teachers in a way that was against all good taste', as she took them for.
Everything was still well, though, and if anyone, especially Black or Potter, did anything she would have the pride and joy of giving them detention for the rest of the year. Of course the teachers had spent hours in preparation, so maybe there was a chance of making it through the day without an absolute loss of all dignity…
McGonagall had barely finished her thought, when the Great Hall was shaken by a deafening explosion. Fireworks zigzagged the Hall, spreading purple smoke and bright sparks everywhere. For a moment no one saw anything. Then the smoke cleared.
It was a shocking sight. The breakfast was floating around and the food was randomly attacking students, leaving behind an unbelievable mess. The Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, the Marauders excluded, were now striped with red and gold, and from their noses and ears came out tiny lion-shaped bubbles, which roared as they burst.
The Slytherins, naturally, had not been so lucky. Severus Snape and Regulus Black were dancing and singing on the table with a hazy look in their eyes, wearing horribly clashing golden tank tops, lilac miniskirts, torn tights and sparkling pink high-heels. The rest of the Slytherin house were dressed as cheerleaders and with silly smiles on their faces they shook their pom-pons to encourage the dreadful duet. Their attempt of making a human pyramid seemed to be failing spectacularly.
McGonagall glanced at Flitwick, who shook his head. The chaos had not originated from the Gryffindor table, where all the Marauders were still sitting and laughing their heads off. There was no way they were not the culprits, but the teachers had no proof against them, which was particularly annoying, because the teachers had not been spared either.
Dumbledore remained calmly seated; he was, in fact, trying very poorly to hide his laughter behind a napkin. Perhaps the Headmaster had not noticed that his silvery hair and beard had been transformed into a huge colour-changing afro, above of which was balanced a flowery birthday hat. Of course the more likely option was that the Headmaster was honestly enjoying himself, since he seemed to be rather taken by a saintly halo shining above his head.
On the other hand, Filius did not seem to enjoy his current appearance that reminded McGonagall greatly of a muggle-style garden gnome. And Horace, poor, poor Horace was wearing nothing save for a leather loincloth. He looked like a mixture of highly embarrassed walrus and overweight Tarzan.
McGonagall drew a calming breath and looked at herself. She wore a furry bikini and a worn-out kilt with happily jingling bells which definitely were not part of a national Scottish costume. She also had cat's ears and a huge fluffy tail, which was currently twitching irritably.
On that particular moment the lack of evidence did not bother McGonagall the slightest. She stood up to announce that the Marauders would have detention from this moment till ten years after they were dead – but instead of words, a loud "meow" escaped her mouth.
Feeling very old she collapsed back to her chair and groaned something that sounded like: "How the hell did they pull this off?" Then she buried her face in her hands, repeating to herself her favourite mantra: "I can make it to the end of this year... I can make it to the end of this year..."
x~x
In the Gryffindor table, James Potter tried to breathe between gales of laughter. He turned to whisper to Sirius:
"I've no idea how you agreed to take part in this. You never help me with anything."
Sirius smiled at him fondly and took a sip from his hip-flask.
"A birthday present, James dearest. Besides, you are the Head Boy; you are supposed to behave yourself."
James grimaced, but his expression melted to a smile as he whispered:
"You know, you really are a treasure, Lily…"
That day was to haunt in the teachers' darkest nightmares for a long time.
x~x
Disclaimer II: Has anyone seen the Fellowship of the Ring –movie? Remember Bilbo saying something about 'a night to remember'… Need I say more about the title?
AN: This was originally written in Finnish during the summer of 2006 for my friend who requested a happy little Marauder-fic. I changed practically nothing, (save for language) so this may not be the peak of my literary achievements, but since you are reading this AN you probably read the fic, too…
Please review. Any kind of feedback is welcome.
AN2: OK, I thought the ending was pretty obvious, and then I was asked something on the lines of "What is Lily doing there? I'm confused." Hopefully the question was sparked from the lack of morning coffee and/or temporary brain problems, but if I was being too vague...
Lily is posing as Sirius under the influence of the Polyjuice Potion, thus enabling Sirius to be elsewhere wreacking havoc with a perfect alibi. (Oh come on, I even added a hip-flask in there! What else is needed?)