Written by an anonymous person that has watched a total of 5 seconds of the show, according to them. XD
"So...what you're saying is that you tampered with my genes?" Drakken paced about the scraps of papers and notebooks tossed wayward, the blueprint drawings and the 35mm reels explaining genetics. Elrazor sighed and palmed his face, "No, copulation is not eugenics, Drakken. It's birth. Father, son, I'm your father!" The burgeoning green Lorwardian muscles rippled in the florescent lighting of the lab. The last of the coffee slowly solidified within the bottom of the fifth and final pot that Drakken had in the lab; despite it's potent effect on most humans, the Lorwardians still seemed to process the caffeine far too quickly for it to be of any use, which made Drakken seriously consider the need for a second bathroom in the lab. A second bathroom would mean more choices and alternatives when it came time, and would also mean one for testing, one for utilities, as long as he kept them straight. "I still don't understand why you messed with my genes or what this has to do with me," he bemoaned.
Elrazor's head smashed against the table; the end piece had been slowly buckling for most of the evening as his head repeatedly smacked against the table, and this final aggression brought the table to its end; the shards rained down upon the laboratory floor, along with several beakers with varying amounts of coffee. Drakken noted the need for coffee cups, along with the coffee pots he had acquired. Bulk purchases of equipment brought many strange things to his lab. The cleaner mice scuttled from the charging dock, but came to a screeching halt as the wheels became shredded upon the shards of mug and table.
"Look, the dolls didn't explain it. The genetic sequence lessons didn't explain it. Your own line of birthing-made-easy tapes didn't explain it. What do I need to do to explain that you aren't the result of an experiment, you're my son?" Elrazor was tired, and the famous stamina and strength of his people was beginning to wane.
"It's simple science, you nincompoop. Classifications, classic Darwinism." Drakken's confidence bubbled up from him. "Your pigmentation is pale green, mine is blue. Reasons for genetic differentials are negligible, and as such, there is seemingly no common ancestor. Therefore, we're not the same. Because you're green."
"That's becau--" Elrazor began.
"Not blue." Drakken finished.
Elrazor leaned over to smother his head on the table and fell straight through to the floor. Either the blue idiot was truly stupid beyond belief, or he was playing them all for fools. Either way, the long journey to retrieve his son taxed him and his crew, and Drakken's own prattling had drained away the rest of his patience. Tonight, there would be no rejoicing over the rejoining of a family. Just rest on a cold laboratory floor.
"Look, son, it's time to rest. We'll continue your education tomorrow."
"You can't even figure out green from blue, what makes you fit to teach any--" Drakken's sentence was cut short as a table leg brained him. Elrazor sighed once more, crawled over to Jerpes, his wife, and fell asleep. Drakken would need to wait until morning. Now, they needed rest.
The sound of the laboratory alarm brought the group to the afternoon light. The lengthy discussion the night prior had exhausted all of the Lorwardians more than they had anticipated. Elrazor leapt to his feet, slapping himself awake.
"What's going on? Where is the blue idiot?"
The lab was strangely active now, between the Lorwardians running around searching and the various lights and meters flashing and vibrantly moving through. Various monitors showed different angles of the compound, the vast array of hallways, tunnels, secret passages, and exterior shots of the fencing and barrier. The platoon commandeered the monitors, frantically looking for the source of the alarm, the wail of the sirens piercing through the air.
"Where are the intruders?" Jerpes shouted. "Find them now!"
The platoon scanned the monitors, trying to understand the cryptic control schemes. Unlabeled buttons and mysterious levers which move every which way had no effect on the cameras or the monitors. Rockets fired off within the lab, robotic arms swayed and swung, breaking off in the process, a variety of vehicles started up only to crash into one another, but nothing moved the camera monitors or pulled up a schematic of the compound or even locked down the doors. As the Lorwardians frantically flailed about the consoles, a door in the back of the lab zipped open, and out walked Drakken, clipboard in hand, and voice recorder in the other.
"And thus as the theory comes to its natural conclusion that if I simply emulsify the viscous rocket fluid solution with a full liquid solution, the result will most likely be a 200% effective fuel solution for the rockets, meaning less refills and recycled costs. Genius at its finest! Hey, what's all the ruckus?" Drakken looked up from the notepad to see the bustling platoon members working the console. Turning, his jaw dropped as his latest inventions lay in ruins, smashed by incompetence. "Who ruined the Gorgobot?!" he shouted! "It was days away from completion! The septic system in the city is the key to overtaking it! Victory by disgust! Oh, and the Doll Rocket!" Pounding on the shattered casing of a rocket chassis, the nose cone fell off and out slid a smaller rocket, which in turn shattered and revealed an even smaller rocket, which short circuited in the coolant fluid of the Gorgobot, which cause the even smaller rocket to launch an even smaller rocket yet, which fizzled and smoked on the ground. "A years worth of work! You destroyed a years worth of work! You incompete--"
"Your compound is under attack and all you can do is prattle on about your worthless inventions?" cried Jerpes.
"Compound? Oh, the LAB, you mean?" Drakken sardonically replied.
"Your sanctum is being invaded you blue moron!" Shouted Elrazor. "Don't you have any pride? Defend your territory!"
Grumbling, Drakken approached the monitors. "Excuse me, someone who knows what he's doing is trying to get to the fancy computer things." Shoving the Lorwardians away, Drakken leapt into action. Pulling levers, pressing a variety of keys, the monitors flickered and scanned, rotating the image view and scanning the compound. "See, genius at work. Now, who's trying to break in..." Cupping his chin in the palm of his hand, Drakken scanned the monitors. "There's no one here, someone must have tripped the alarm on accident. Were you heading to the reactor chamber by chance? Trying to get at the rocket boots? Come on, fess up, who tried to steal my rocket boots?" The Lorwardians stood bewildered. One of the grunts chimed in.
"Um...what are rocket boots?"
"They fire rockets from the toe chamber!" Drakken turned to the pile of broken robots and clicked his heels together; the toes of his boots popped up, revealing a battery of ten tiny rockets, which rose to a firing position, and then launched into the air. Impacting on the pile in choreographed perfection, they exploded in unison, breaking the pile into bits of rubble and filth, which spread about the lab in a cloud of dust and metal shavings. "Incredible, and the boots give proper arch support along with the thermal protection to withstand take off. Sufficient artillery in a moments notice."
"We don't care about your silly weapons, son," sighed Elrazor, "We want to know who's invading your lab...or did you forget about that?"
"Invasion? Oh, right! Wait, no, not right. The monitors are empty! It's a false alarm. Happens all the time." Drakken swayed his way over to the controls again, and with a few button presses, disabled the glaring sirens. "Nothing but a fluke caused by your stupid soldiers."
"Or perhaps the easiest break in we've ever had to do," resounded a shrill and familiar teenage voice, brimming with confidence. In a series of flagrant leaps and bounds, the red-haired girl tumbled down from the ceiling, rappelling off walls and towering computer fixtures, followed closely by the blonde boy and his naked mole rat.
"Kim Possible!? That's impossible! You weren't on the monitors!" Drakken shouted.
"We know; we saw all of the cameras around the front, so we just grabbed a boat and climbed up the wall facing the lake back there." Ron pointed at an open window, where two grappling hooks had been lodged between ceiling beams. Outside, the ropes flapped gently in the breeze, a small motor boat sitting at the bottom of the lab's foundation.
"The lake? You came in from the lake? That's a bit unorthodox...I mean, we have doors for a reason. There weren't any in back for a reason." Drakken started.
"There's a door right there though," Kim pointed.
"We don't use that door! It's off limits!" Drakken snapped.
"Why's it there?" asked Ron.
"Look, real-estate is tough to move these days, so you take what you can get. Besides, this lab was a steal! All I had to do was trap the guy in his own basement!" With an evil cackle, Drakken lurched backwards, writhing his hands with evil pleasure. The Lorwardians stood puzzled at the cavalier exchange between foes. "Now silly not-blue people, OBSERVE!"
"Don't most villains say 'behold'?" Ron inquired?
"Well, they've already seen the rocket boots..." Drakken explained. "I just wanted to let them know I'm doing a field test now. So..." turning to the Lorwardians again, "OBSERVE!" Clicking his heels together, the tips of Drakken's boots flipped up, a new barrage of rockets ready to fire. As the small missiles ignited, sparks began to fly from the soles of the boots, and the projectiles launched in every which way. Kim and Ron ducked, covering their necks for fear that the roof might collapse, but to their surprise, only the back wall of the lab was damaged; half of the missiles didn't even explode. Staring at the scattered holes in the wall, then back at the dismayed Drakken, Kim said to Ron, "This is getting kind of sad."
"Oh...drat! The firing mechanism is off again!" Drakken turned to the Lorwardians. "This happens with hiking boots, you hit 10000 on the pedometer, and they need to be re-calibrated."
"Don't just stand there, accost your opponents! Show them your might as a warrior!" Elrazor pumped his fist aggressively, flexing his muscles, hoping to inspire the embarrassed scientist to leap into action. Drakken stared, dumbstruck.
"But, that's what the robots are for. They fight so I don't have to...because getting kicked hurts. Here; hey, red head brat. Kick this guy." Drakken grabbed the nearest Lorwardian and shoved him towards Kim and Ron. The Lowardian stumbled forward, but, quickly regaining his balance, he rushed towards the children, screaming his battle cry, arms prepped to land a smack across the children's faces. Ron ducked back, and Kim leapt into the air; seemingly defying gravity, she spun around in midair, planting a size 7 into the jugular of the lumbering muscled man. The Lowardians sputtered and wheezed, falling haplessly to the ground, his trachea crushed and ego shattered.
Flicking her hair to the side, Kim started, "Weren't the first two Lorwardians a lot more difficult?"
Ron giggled. "Yeah, maybe this is their B-division group. They're perfect for Drakken though. I mean, crummy fighters for a crummy evil chop shop technician."
Elrazor burst out shouting, "Do you hear that, Drakken!? Now they insult both you and your family and your race! Are you just going to sit by while they insult you?" Elrazor paced and flared his arms about as he talked; when he turned back to Drakken to see his reaction, Drakken was fuming. Fists balled up, tiny black balls on the end of his stubby arms, Drakken began, "I'm not some chop-shop technician." He repeated this over and over; the room fell silent, everyone watched as Drakken fumes and steamed, repeating the phrase over and over several times, then he stopped. Staring at Ron, Drakken, reached down and grabbed a pipe from a broken robot.
"I'm a scientist!" Drakken shouted. Charging towards the pair with incredible speed, he swung the pipe ahead of him; flying through the air, the pipe clobbered Ron on the base of his skull, and sent the lanky boy sailing 10 feet from where he had stood, smacking face first into a wall. As his body slumped down the dry wall of the lab, blood smeared its way down, making a small path down to the puddle that he lay in at the bottom of the wall. Kim stood horrified; Drakken had never hurt them before; no one had hurt them like this - ever. It was impossible. Huffing and heaving, Drakken stood hunched over, the lightly bloodied pipe still in his hand. He turned to Kim, his eyes fixated on her, but at the same time, seemingly looking at something which wasn't there. He grunted, "And what about you? Any quips? Any musings or sayings? Do you have any insults to hurl, little girl? Any jibes or puns to throw at me? Do you feel like mocking me now?" His voice escalated. "I'm not a hack, I'm not a second rate. I am not under your father--" Shouting now, "I am a scientist!" With a brilliant pose, accentuating his chest, Drakken dropped low and rushed Kim. Leaping backwards, Kim flipped to avoid the swinging pipe, skillfully dodging the aggressive motions and feints. Drakken had never been this aggressive. He had never even tried to throw a punch at them, much less assault them with a weapon. She fell into the splits, dodging the pipe as it was thrown over her head. The pipe flew like a javelin, and impaled itself in the wall. Kim tumbled to the left, barely avoiding Drakken's fist as it smashed into the ground. The concrete was intact, but blood dripped from the torn glove; Drakken didn't wait to feel the pain, and punched again towards Kim. Kim rolled once more, avoiding the fist, and, leaping to her feet, moved into a whirlwind motion, kicking the enraged scientist in the face. Landing on her feet and steadying herself with one hand, she looked up Drakken; Drakken wiped the scuff mark off his face, grabbed the arm of the Gorgobot, and swung violently at Kim. Kim couldn't believe that the little man could lift the huge arm; the multiple joints within the arm itself made it hard to predict the movements. She dodged and leapt about for several seconds until Drakken, snapping the arm like a whip, managed to connect the second to last joint fixture with Kim's right thigh. Kim was tossed a few feet away, but rotated in mid-air to land normally; however, the impact from the arm was greater than she had thought, and as soon as she landed, she collapsed on her right leg. Drakken swung the arm over her head, and pivoting around on his heels, he brought the arm down, catching Kim up in the hand, which smashed through several computing towers, crushing Kim into the wall. Kim slowly faded into unconsciousness.
Kim woke to Ron's incessant prattling. "Kim...wake up...not dead...I don't wanna....tied up to a dead...really creepy...up, come on!" His whining faded in and out, with only bits of it getting through to her. Her head was spinning. Kim couldn't keep the room level; every time she tried to focus, her vision began to fade slightly. The contents of her stomach churned and rotated. It wasn't just her, she realized. She was spinning. They were spinning. Kim opened her eyes all the way, and caught glimpses of the room as she and Ron spun about. "Where are we?" Kim shouted. "Some...chamber...Drakken..." Ron's voice was almost indistinguishable from the roaring engines in the background. From somewhere not hear her, Kim could make out bits of something Drakken was saying.
"So, you see, since they seem to have a knack for escaping, I made the Centrifugal Capture Cells. By disorienting them at a relatively low 3 G-force spin, even if they do escape, they will be so off-kilter that subduing the subjects is a matter of simplicity." Drakken gestured towards the oversized tops resting on top of oversized engine blocks. Strapped to the poles on the tops sat Kim and Ron, each rapidly spinning around the mid-point of their respective tops.
"Impressive, I must say, but inefficient. A series of chains and broken bones would suffice in this matter. However, your method of subduing the enemy and restraining them was impressive. Lorwardian blood flows through you indeed, my son." Elrazor placed his arm around Drakken's shoulders. "You display of strength from before proves it beyond any reasonable doubt. You are my son! The genius warrior!"
"Oh stop." Drakken smirked, looking off into the distance innocently. "Tell me more about my genius."
"Tell me...genius..." Kim could barely hear what was being said, but already, she was beginning to plan an escape. "Drakken doesn't seem to be handling the stress of proving his scientific worth," she thought. "Maybe..." Kim carefully watched the room around her. She spotted the blur of green and blue next to the large black shadowy area as she rotated. She'd only get one shot at this, and if they couldn't hear her, it wouldn't work.
"He's...not....so...strong!" Kim shouted. The Lorwardians and Drakken stood confused.
"What?" Drakken shouted. Kim didn't respond. Drakken grew perturbed for a moment, then, slapping his forehead, realized his problem. He grabbed a microphone from the console, held down the activation button, and spoke again. "What?" His voice echoed over the loudspeaker.
"You're...not....so...strong!" Kim shouted, a hint of annoyance slipping through her speech.
Drakken pressed down on the microphone again. "What do you mean 'I'm not so song?' I've sung in the shower before!"
Grunting in frustration, Kim screeched, "I said...you're not...so strong...-diot!"
"Not so strong?" Elrazor stepped towards Drakken; taking the microphone, he belted out, "Now you listen hear you weakling, my son has bested you in combat and has trapped you in his prison. He is perfectly strong!"
"Stop...the...stupid...spinning...so...we...can...talk!"
"Son, stop the device. This girl needs to be set straight." Elrazor stared at Kim, his gaze solid and determined. "No son of mine is going to be insulted after he's just beaten his arch rival."
"But...they're trapped. They can't escape. They're gonna die eventually even, and I'll be the first person ever to have an elaborate death scheme actually work! I've never even gotten the robots to work right, and now I have them!" Drakken pouted, but Elrazor's resolve did not change. Grimacing, Drakken said brashly, "Look, I'm not stopping them just because your brutish pride has been hurt. I've got freaking Kim Possible captured and tied up. This is the sort of thing you get medals for! Scientific journals are going to be published on Centrifugal Capture Cells! I'm going to get funding for my research!"
Elrazor turned and stared straight into Drakken eyes. "You've beaten her once, if anything happens, you can beat her again. You've won a battle, but if you don't break her spirits, she's going to win the war. Now stop this ridiculous toy and set her straight!"
Kim could only make out bits and pieces of what was being said, but the voices were escalating. Even without the speakers, she could tell that they were getting louder. Whether or not they heard her, the plan was working.
"And I'm saying no!" Drakken shouted.
"Turn off this ridiculous device and defend your family pride!" Elrazor demanded, huffing up his chest.
"It's not a toy, it's not ridiculous, and it's not stupid, you moron!"
"I never said stupid you dolt! Don't you ever listen? And it is a toy; a child's toy. This isn't how you treat prisoners...by spinning them. You torture them!"
Drakken's face scrunched up, and his posture slowly began to fall into a hunch. His voice deepened and became slow paced, sure and steady. "It's not a toy. It's a scientific achievement."
"Stop making excuses to build toys and protect your honor!"
"It's...not a toy..."
Kim couldn't tell what was happening in specific, but something was happening. The bits of blue and green meshed together, with shots of green flying about the room. Whatever they heard, it seemed to have incited a fight between the Lorwardians and Drakken. Now she needed a plan to escape. As she wiggled about in her restraints trying to reach her socks, suddenly, the rotating top came to a halt. The impulsive lurch made Ron vomit, and the two crusaders sat and waited for their senses to return. The room rocked back and forth, their bodies felt compressed, flattened by the rotational force applied to them. Looking around the room as it settled, Kim and Ron realized they were both on small platforms extending out from a larger top-like mechanism, which spun them around, causing gravitational forces upon them. As they turned to the main platform, a large Lowardian woman lay impacted upon a console, her head smashing the controls in. Her blank expression, the same stalwart look that all the Lowardians, made it hard to judge if she was dead or just unconscious. Reaching down towards her shoes, Kim pulled out a small knife and cut away the ropes which held her to the platform's center pole. She had no intention of staying to see if the Lowardian was alright. Right now, she and Ron needed to get to safety.
After freeing Ron, they bounded down towards the exit and entered the twisting array of tunnels. Security camera after security camera told them they were going the right way, as Drakken always set up cameras on the most direct path to his main lab. As they approached the surface level, they could hear a vicious fight occurring in the main lab. The tall Lowardian they had seen before was shouting for Drakken to stop, but the only replies the kids could hear was the smashing of something. Ron meekly whimpered out, "Let's not make fun of his science abilities again, 'kay?"
Kim smiled. "No kidding. I'm gonna be sore for awhile after that hit...let's just let him enjoy his own little fantasy world with the science and inventions." As they reached the large double doors to the laboratory, Kim and Ron stopped. They listened closely to the smashing of electronics, random explosions, and a variety of words that were certainly some sort of Lowardian curse. Slowly opening the door, they peeked into the ruined laboratory. Drakken and Elrazor stood in the middle of the room; Elrazor was badly beaten. A large contusion showed across his forehead, seeping dark colored blood across his face, braiding out at the bridge of his nose and trickling down towards his chin where it collected onto his neck in a smeared splattering of dried blood. His left-arm hung limp at his side and part of his forearm had pierced the tough sinewy green flesh. Drakken was hurt, but not horribly. HIs scar appeared to have been reopened, leaking a small trail of blood onto his cheek. His blue jump suit was torn in various places, with small knife marks and bits of shrapnel jutting out of the suit. His hair tie had broken off long ago at some point, and his hair hung loosely behind him, caked in blood, which in turn held a thin layer of dust on it. Though Drakken was heavily breathing, Elrazor was gasping for air.
"Stop...stop this! Don't you see what they've done, Drakken?" Elrazor tried to reason with him.
"You don't think I'm a real scientist...you don't understand the genius of my work. The power behind this creativity."
"I do, son, I do! I was mistaken!" Elrazor pleaded. "Stop this now! We shouldn't be fighting! We're father and son, proud members of the Lowardian race! Together, we should be working to defeat your enemies and the enemies of the Lowardi-"
Drakken sunk his fist into Elrazor's jaw. A sickening crack as the jaw dislocated rang throughout the room, the quiet cackling of fires a white noise in the background. Elrazor could taste the blood from Drakken's knuckles, the sweat from his hands. Slowly, Elrazor stumbled back, and then finally fell. Drakken stood over his foe, staring at the motionless body. He turned and looked towards Kim and Ron. The two cowered in fear, but seeing that Drakken was not moving, Kim stood up.
"There's no denying it; you captured us, Drakken." Kim elbowed Ron slightly. Ron quietly said "ow", but quickly understood Kim's point.
"Yeah, yeah! You had us stuck there. Without the Lowardians to mess it up, we would have been trapped at 3-G for the rest of High School." Drakken's face began to lighten. He slowly straightened up into his over-arched normal posture.
"Yes, yes, it was good, wasn't it?" He huffed out.
"Yeah, and the Rocket Boots? Terrifyingly cool. Would have blown us to smithereens if they were calibrated right," Ron exclaimed.
"Yes! See? Rocket Boots are the answer! The calibration is an expected failing, but it can be compensated for with the modulation insole!" Drakken pulled out a small hermetically sealed boot insole; the flimsy piece of fabric appeared as a normal insole, but had bits of wires exposed on the end which seemed to have connectors for something. "These babies will sell like hot cakes once I get the premature detonation resolved!" Drakken, Kim, and Ron all laughed. A beam collapsing put them all on guard for a moment. Kim and Ron looked at each other for a moment, then to Drakken.
"So...should we-" Ron started.
"Let's call this one for you, Drakken." Kim interrupted. Drakken looked puzzled. His ears heard what she had said, but he still couldn't process it.
"Come again?" He asked.
"This one is yours. Victory for Drakken. Your inventions worked, and you had us. If it weren't for the interfering Lowardians, you would have had us." Kim continued. Drakken mused over this for a moment, and then responded.
"Well of course. I was victorious this time because of my awesomeness! Shows you that it takes two children and some goofy shaved rat to match my genius and physical prowess!" Drakken played up his bravado strongly. Silence, aside from the crackling fires. Shrugging his shoulders and sighing, Drakken resumed, "But...since those morons destroyed my lab and ruined my caper, I've got nothing I can do. And since you guys can't fight, I guess we'll leave it at that. Go away now, I've got science to do."
Kim and Ron hobbled off towards the back door, stopping just before opening it. They looked to Drakken for permission to use the back door, but he was already busy putting pieces of the Gorgobot back together, talking into his tape recorder. Hobbling out onto the back deck, they got in the small boat, and headed towards the shore. The loud cries of success and frustration rang from the lab behind them as they unlocked their bikes and began walking back to the city.