Disclaimer: I own absolutely nada. :D

Hmm, I think I might attach the song I'm writing as the second chapter. :] Hope you enjoy!

You won't be there
So I'll whisper into the dark alone
I'll imagine your presence
And reminisce.

And I'll imagine that
You're by my side
Holding my hand
While I cry

That's a bony shoulder you've got
But I couldn't care less
Because it's yours.

And everything you've been to me
It'll always be there
In my mind
You'll still be in my heart, as I cry

Sometimes, when it rains, I think I hallucinate
I seem to see your face at the window again
Waving and smiling in cheerfully
So small, your little silver head dripping wet.

But everything's faded now, even your smile
Not as true or cheerful as before
You're lying
And I can see it.

But I know you won't let me go
This is your way of holding on
So I'll do my part
And hang on too.

I hope you'll remember
How I used to feed you your
Dried persimmons

And how that one time
You tried to teach me how to swim
I cried

And how you always helped me through the winter
Because I really, really hate the winter
And maybe
If you could

I want to see you again
But if we meet on the battlefield
Try not to force my hand
Because duties still come first

But come see me sometime
I always have a little bag of dried persimmons
Waiting
Ready for you
And your smile

Toushirou keeps on asking me
Why those persimmons are there
So you'd better hurry
Or I think he'll steal them.

Your slanting eyes
Still haunt my dreams
I think that maybe you
Understand my pain
Because I think you're feeling it too

You probably think of me possessively.
Who gives a damn?
I'm yours
And you're mine.

These tears are yours too.

The funny thing is
I seem to feel your presence
At night
Sometimes

But when I wake up,
You're not there anymore
And that's when I cry
Because nobody's around

And nothing's left
But that lingering sense of you
So I cry with you, for you.
I hope you appreciate that.

And you know what I think is funny?
How on the outside
You seem so filled with light
Complete with silver hair and an ever-present smile

But in reality, you're shaded in darkness
Dodging through the shadows
Keeping everything away from the light
Because no one can see clearly in the dark.

You're just a living, breathing
Mystery.
An extremely irritating paradox.
Extremely. Irritating.
Trust me.

Why are you so afraid of the light anyways?
Sure you've got things to hide
Sure you only come into the light for me, sometimes
To see your beauty, the stuff that you guard so jealously
But hiding things is really tiring, you know.

I promise I'll never hurt you, Ran-chan.
I'll do what's good for us.
Such blatant lies.
Bullcrap.
You were forever a liar, Gin.
Too bad, I guess. I'll have to put up with that.

And whispering into the dark is kinda fun, really
It feels kinda secret and conspiratory.
Remember how we used to do that at the academy?

You'd sneak me out into the moonlight
And we'd dance together
And you'd tell me I was beautiful
And I'd laugh at you
And reach up in an attempt to ruffle your silver head
So high up above me now

But you'll never change
And that's some consolation
I hope these prayers
Aren't annoying you

Yep, these are my prayers
And you're my only god
Who else would I pray to?

Life is still pretty amazing without you, you know
And I hope that sometime, you'll apologize to your subordinates (Especially…you know.)
And I understand why
You forbade me to join your division now.

Thank you for that.

I think I'm done.
I'll go to bed now.
Good night, Gin.
Try not to wake me up again.