Red Swan (Red/Emma)

ATTENTION READERS: Please read until the last chapter before express posting me pitchforks? Please?

SUMMARY: FTL. In which Red wants more, Emma freaks and does what she does best, and Snow tries to pick up the pieces with words of a sunnier tomorrow.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters. I do not own 'I Hope You Find It – by Miley Cyrus'. I am not making a profit from this story. In fact, if you recognize it… I probably don't own it. Actually, I'm kind of happy I don't own it; I had a hard enough time keeping my fish alive.

Bruised Hearts

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"I can't do this anymore," Emma mumbled to herself as she frantically shoved articles of clothing into her worn rucksack.

"What?" Red asked in shock as she stared at Emma's back from her position on the other girl's bed.

"I'm leaving." Emma stated, louder, despite the fact that the younger girl would have been able to hear a whisper from fifty paces away as clear as if it were screamed in her ear.

Red struggled to banish the sleep that stubbornly clung to her, despite the older girl's words sending a stream of ice cold dread through her veins. "When will you be back? I could come with…"

"I'm not," Emma abruptly cut the other off, still refusing to face the other girl.

"What?" Red shot up in the bed, suddenly completely awake, though wishing she wasn't. "Are you leaving this place," She started, voice carrying an undertone of hurt, "or are you running away from us?"

"There is no us." Emma stated with such finality that she almost believed it herself.

"Excuse me?" Red asked, incredulous. "So what, we've just been fuck-buddies for the past year and a half? Is that what you're saying?"

"You're the one who said it, not me," Emma muttered quietly, internally shuttering away her emotions behind strongly built walls.

Red gaped at the blond curls facing her, struggling to rein in her quickly unravelling emotions. Soon, despite her intention to keep a clear head in the face of Emma's stubbornness, Red snapped, her ire quickly growing.

"Is that what you really think?" Red slid off the bed, taking one step towards the blond before halting, fists clenching at her sides. "I can't believe- Is this because of what I said last night?" Red's voice shook slightly, though for the life of her she couldn't tell if she was going to start screaming or burst into hysterical sobs. "About wanting more?"

Emma remained silent, clipping her pack shut before bending down, arms reaching under the bench for her missing boots.

"It is, isn't it?" Red laughed slightly, voice devoid of humor and leaning towards the hysterical. "You got scared, and instead of talking about it like an adult you're running away from your problems. From your feelings. Again."

"I'm not-" Emma said flatly, only to be interrupted once more.

"You are. You totally are." Red's nostrils flared slightly as she took another step closer to the now seated princess. "So what is it you're afraid of? Is it because I said I love you?" Red's heart clenched tightly as she said it, the reaction Emma let slip sending tiny needles into the wildly beating organ. "You always said your life was shitty, so god forbid when your luck takes a turn for the better you be happy. You have two loving parents- probably the world's most wonderful parents, and you're running away. You're son thinks the world of you, and you're just gonna foist him off on someone else, again? You're beloved by all and can have anything you want- the world is your fucking oyster, and you're not content." Red stalked forward, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat. "You have a girl who loves you-would do anything for you if you asked, and instead of being happy you're hiding behind your damn walls. Are you fucking kidding me?"

Emma finished lacing her boots before standing up. Grabbing her pack, she turned her head to stare blankly at the furious form inches from her own. Red was shaking slightly, her hands gripping the sides of her shirt so as not to do something she'd regret. Emma slowly lifted her eyes to the slightly shiny ones in front of her, her own eyes like blank slates, sending another sharp pain through Red.

"Are you really that damaged?" Red inquired desperately, her eyes anxiously searching the closed ones in front of her as she frantically beat back the waves of emotions that were slowly tearing through her. "Are you that much of a fucking idiot to believe that you don't deserve love?" Red's breath hitched in the middle of her sentence as she almost choked on her words. "Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever for you to get your shit together?"

"There never was an us. There will never be an us." Voice painstakingly devoid of emotion, Emma brushed past the shaking form in front of her before stopping with her hand on her door. Turning her head slightly, Emma's eyes passed right over the shaky form as if she were inconsequential. "Don't follow me."

And with that statement, Red was left frozen in the middle of the bedroom, her very world crumbling down around her. Numb, Red wasn't sure how long she stood there, alone, in the lavishly decorated room. She had dared to love, only to have her heart ripped out and stomped upon once more. The thought that at least this time it wasn't her fault did absolutely nothing to assuage the pain.

Slowly, one by one, tears slipped down her face, her wavering control finally breaking into thousands of tiny shards. Time was lost to her tears; she stood there forever and a moment before she suddenly wasn't alone anymore, her howling sobs having drawn another. Burying her head in Snow's shoulder, she shook with abandon; her sobs constricting her breathing as the older woman slowly drew them to the ground and began rocking her.

Snow ran her hand through her best friend's red-streaked curls, skipping the platitudes and instead humming softly to a tune she never got to sing for Emma, offering the distraught girl what silent comfort she could as her arms gradually tightened. Shifting slightly to get into a more comfortable position, Snow was surprised as the arms around her tightened frantically.

"Don't leave me." Ruby's words were said so desperately, her voice so fragile that it broke Snow's heart.

"Shhh," Snow shushed the younger girl's protests, holding her closer as Red clung to her like a lifeline. "I'm not going anywhere. Just let it all out." And Red did.

Neither was sure how long they sat there, though by the time Red's frantic sobbing had turned into hiccups, and then finally low sniffling, night had already begun to fall. Looking bleakly outside the window from the safety of Snow's arms, Red rubbed her eyes slightly, exhausted. The sky was dark, angry clouds having moved in sometime during the day, fat globs of rain having replaced the rays of sunshine that had streamed through the curtains earlier. Somehow, Red thought that was fitting, as if the weather justified her earlier breakdown, the sky feeling her pain and crying with her.

"She left," Red whispered, voice hoarse and barely there.

"I know." Snow continued to stroke her back, not caring in the least when Red used her now soaked shoulder to wipe away the moisture that still clung to her face.

"She doesn't love me." Red swallowed thickly, too tired to cry anymore. "She doesn't even like me."

"Red," Snow admonished sternly, yet her voice was still soft as she forced the other girl to look at her. "You know that's not true."

"Th-then why…" Red trailed off, unable to force out the words, yet they were painfully clear to the both of them. Why did she leave me?

"Oh Red," Snow sighed in understanding. "Emma's lived her life alone, never staying in one place too long and never growing close anyone. She learned from day one, literally day one," Snow's voice wavered slightly as she thought about the day she gave birth before focusing once more on what she needed to say, "that hoping would only get her hurt. She learned the hard way that some people carry darkness in their hearts; that daring to love would only come back to bite her, leaving her shattered and more alone than ever. From a young age she was forced to learn how to build walls to protect her tattered heart, because each time she slipped another piece of her was lost."

"But it's not like that anymore," Red mumbled into Snow's shirt.

"No, it's not," Snow agreed, "but Red, we haven't been back long. I'm not condoning her actions, but look at this from her perspective; she was suddenly forced to believe that everything she had been told was a lie, only to find herself in a strange world where she is loved, an emotion she has been shielding herself from all her life."

"So you're saying I'm overreacting?" Red whispered.

"Never." Snow stated firmly. "You have every right to feel the way you do. However, despite how much we wish it to be true, Emma is never going to be truly comfortable here, in this world, with us, until she finds herself. If we push, we'd just be pushing her farther away. She has to come to terms with the direction her life has taken on her own. My daughter is headstrong."

Red barked out a small laugh through her sniffles, causing Snow to smile slightly, an old saying she had heard as Mary Margaret coming back to her.

"If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it does come back, love it forever and never let go." Snow paraphrased the quote that seemed to define her whole life.

Red sniffled quietly, letting Snow's words sink in. Blinking tiredly, she asked, voice small, "Snow?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I borrow one of your bluebirds? I said some things…" Red's voice wavered slightly in remembered anguish. "And, um, there are some things I didn't get to say; words that I need to say."

"Of course." Snow smiled, relieved.

"I should probably go see Granny," Red mumbled after a short silence, yet made no move whatsoever to get up.

Snow glanced out the window at the darkness, before taking in the exhausted girl curled in her lap. Shifting Red so she could stand up, Snow almost lost her balance as her skirt was clenched desperately.

"Snow?" Red asked, terrified.

"Come on," Snow helped Red up, and began dragging her out of the room.

"Where are we going?" Red asked, stumbling along with her love's mother blindly.

"It's too late for you to leave; you'll be sleeping with me tonight." Snow glanced back at Red, her resolve face on. "Charming can sleep in one of the guest rooms."

"I…" Red went to refuse, but couldn't find it in her to leave the comfort Snow offered her. "Okay." She whispered roughly, too tired to protest as Snow lead her determinedly down the halls, her earlier sobbing having left her completely drained.

She'd leave in the morning.

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A/N: …