I loved Jar of Hearts, it made me cry but I had a deep interpretation of the song. Here is how it played out in my mind.
Rachel stood limply on stage, she never got stage fright but somehow this song meant so much to her, the same butterflies that she had during Get it Right were arising and she wasn't sure if it was good thing. As the stars said, the show must go on, regardless of her nerves, she nodded to the band to start.
Behind her they all shuffled with their instruments, Brad sending her a reassuring smile as he rearranged his sheets. On the dance floor all of the happy couples had congregated, Rach knew that if she had not been up there singing she would have been sat alone just like Mercedes who wasn't letting her sorrow show, instead she was fiddling with the flower around her wrist. She couldn't focus on all the happy faces of people who were in love as she closed her eyes until the music interrupted her and so she began to sing.
I know I can't take one more step towards you,
Every pair was happily swaying, pressing their bodies together like they fitted. She couldn't watch any longer and so averted her gaze.
Cause all that's waiting is regret.
Unfortunately, they settled on Finn who was slow dancing with Quinn. Her mind was screaming at her to tear them away but somehow the thought of doing that made a part of Rachel cry inside, her eyes were glued to him as he awkwardly shuffled in Quinn's embrace.
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
"This is perfect," Quinn murmured, trying to interlock her eyes with her dancing partner but Finn was just distracted. Having heard Rachel's voice again had caught him off guard. It had pulled at all of his heart strings and quite honestly he was finding it hard remembering how to dance like Kurt had taught him before the wedding. Hell to it all, what did it matter? It wasn't like anybody would pull him up on it.
Finn stammered an awkward: "Uh yeah," having forgotten that she had spoken.
You lost the love
I loved the most.
Finn couldn't deny himself the chance to look at her any longer.
I learned to live half alive
Sure enough she was staring back at him with those doe brown eyes that he had been daydreaming about these past few weeks. They were the eyes that he pictured staring at him questioningly as he repeated to himself that he loved Quinn in a hope that he could convince himself.
Quinn was gorgeous and maybe he had complimented her with the fact that she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen earlier that night but it was because he wanted to make her happy, he wanted Quinn to be in his arms and for him to think that it was right. In a way he just wanted the doubts to go away.
Now looking at Rachel it was hard to deny the love he still felt for her and the hurt he had caused. He hadn't meant it but Finn had messed up.
Quinn nestled her head against Finn's shoulder, imagining that he was somebody else, anybody else because she knew that it was a lie. She did like Finn but that was where it stopped, he was useful to get her to where she wanted but now she was at prom it felt fake, like the night she had wanted, her one and only night, it had all been fake, a little lie like her relationship with Finn always had been. There was nothing there for either of them, especially when he was still in love with her.
And now you want me one more time.
Quinn was watching, Finn snapped his head back and returned to his date.
I love Quinn, he growled to his thoughts but Rachel was there at the back of his mind just looking at him pointedly; as if to say that it was obvious that Finn was lying.
And who do you think you are?
Rachel dropped her arms, she was alone. She was alone on prom night. It didn't matter that she had come in a group of friends she was still alone. Maybe the road to stardom was lonely but for a small while she had believed that Finn still had feelings for her, now he was slow dancing with his perfect match of a blonde soon to be prom queen.
Running round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
Only a few days before Rachel had told Finn she was free to date whoever she was and that he had to move on but it was too hard. He couldn't be happy with Quinn because he just wasn't over her. He felt like such a fool. Maybe it was a bad case of de ja vu or wanting what you could not have but Finn wanted more than anything to go up on stage and wrap his arms around his favourite soloist, whispering that things would all be okay because he loved her.
Three simple words: I love you. Quinn and Finn had not been able to share those words yet and probably wouldn't get the chance to, she loved the idea of being in love with the quarterback and making others jealous but that was all. Even so, he couldn't stop this now. It was her night.
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Her eyes settled on Finn again. It felt as if somebody was hitting her in the guts repeatedly but Rachel did not get the sweet release of unconsciousness, instead she had to amble on with the song she had promised to perform.
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?
"Isn't it great that the prom is so inclusive this year?" smiled Kurt as he watched each couple dancing happily together. This was all he had dreamed of, slow dancing at prom, now he was standing at the sidelines because Blaine, understandably, disliked slow dancing after the incident. Kurt was just happy to be in his company.
It took so long just to feel alright
Blaine nodded, "There's someone for everyone." he agreed, his eyes meeting a former heckler from the Night of Neglect benefit who was dancing with her perfect match. It was things like this that convinced Kurt further of true love and more appreciative of finding Blaine.
Remember, how to put back the light in my eyes
"Even if it's a lie," Kurt added, implying Santana and Karofsky's dancing. Santana looked delicate with her arms draped around the chubby boy, trying to give the impression that she was happy but it was clear that she wasn't.
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Merged into the crowd Tina and Mike were making out. She had never imagined her prom being as good as this, his arms made her feel safe as if she could have all the confidence to cry out to the world that this was her and they could take her as she was but there was no point making a scene like that at prom and so she just continued to kiss him tenderly.
Cause you broke all your promises!
And now your back, you don't get to get me back!
Rachel shook her head as she sung powerfully; this song was arising so much emotion that she couldn't hold back any longer. Finn seemed to notice it because his face creased with concern at his ex girlfriend, as if he felt bad about what he was doing when he was just having a dance with his date. Maybe Rachel was imagining it; she had to get over him: things like this were unhealthy.
Sam had been watching her all night; in fact he hadn't been able to look away as he sung Friday to everybody earlier. Beautiful, there was no other word for Mercedes tonight. Why hadn't he noticed it? Well he wasn't going to waste any more of the song. He had been standing gawping at her for way too long.
And who do you think you are?
"Mercedes," her hand slipped from her wrist as her eyes met his. She had not expected to see Sam here.
Tonight was the hardest part; she had to pretend like she didn't care being alone as everybody around her was all wrapped up in love. She could have asked Rachel to let somebody else take the slow dance and stay down with her, she probably would have since Rachel was slowly becoming less self centred, but it wouldn't have been fair. Mercedes had assumed that Sam would have taken his turn dancing with Brittany but she was now swaying with some girl on the dance floor.
"Yes?" she asked, her voice was soft.
Crap, he had forgotten what he was going to say. What was it? How had she done that to him? "I just wanted to let you know that you look beautiful." Her eyes widened slightly and an obvious blush coloured her cheeks.
Collecting your jar of hearts
"Would you like to dance?" he asked, extending a hand to cup Mercedes' with.
She almost couldn't believe that Sam was saying this to her. She looked at his hand slowly, as if checking that he wasn't going to withdraw it and tell her that she was stupid for believing he had been telling her the truth but Sam was kinder than that.
She blushed, having to remember to answer. "I would love to." Sam took her hand in his and led her to the centre.
Your gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul
Wrapping his arms around her waist and guiding her gently, she laid her head on his chest and it felt natural.
Jesse was watching Rachel from the side, he was admiring how graceful he looked, he had already decided that he was going to entice her tonight, tonight was going to be her night and he was going to make it perfect by making his one great regret up to her.
Don't come back for me!
Rachel was pitch perfect; it wasn't her pitch what Finn was focussing on though: it was her emotion. He did not have to watch to feel guilty for the tears she was holding back.
Don't come back at all.
Who do you think you are?
Finn could feel himself falling, this charade he was playing with Quinn was slipping and he could sense it as they slowly turned around.
Who do you think you are?
Rachel was staring at the couple intently, perhaps wishing to be Quinn perhaps wishing to be free from loving Finn.
Who do you think you are?
Quinn saw Rachel watching and wrapped her arms around Finn as if to claim him as her own. It wouldn't work, he would never be hers because he was already in love with Rachel but she didn't want the illusion to wear off just yet. She felt like Cinderella, this whole pretence was going to fade soon but it wasn't midnight yet.
Everybody turned to clap Rachel but Quinn needed to say something first. "I am so happy to be here with you, it's what I've always wanted."
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