It was a blustery Saturday at the Xavier Institute, a very blustery day indeed. The X-Students sat around, doing the things that normally they would be inclined to do. In this case, it included sitting around being angst pots.
Rogue suddenly piped in with her southern accent "Ah cannot touch another person, what ahm ah to do?" Scott gazed at her with reverence, oh but she was so angsty. Angstier than even he. He basked in the dim shadow cast by her angst throughout the room. Basked in reverence of her angst.
"I BAKED COOKIES!" Shrieked Kitty, running into the room through an adjoining wall. She wailed her arms in an impressive manner, and managed to throw the entire platter of round puck-like baked good into Scott's face.
"ARRRGH!!!" Shrieked Scott, groping himself as his visor flew off and laser beam thingers shot from his eyes. They shot right into Kitty, tearing a hole in her spleen. She bled onto the floor in an impressive manner, and made an angsty face.
"Scott, help me!" She cried, bleeding even more.
"THAT'S NEW CARPET!" Professor X screamed into Kitties mind, and her head exploded with impressive dramatic effect.
"I've killed her!" Scott screamed in angst filled agony. He fell to the floor dramatically.
"Oh, my eyes! If only I had been born with normal eyes! Woe! Woe!." He began to sob, wetting the carpet with teary wetness.
"Oh Scott, ah know how you feel, ah wish muh powers weren't so ...powerful!" Rogue dropped to the floor and cradled Scott's head in her hands, which triggered her power. She shot laser beams through his head, and at the same moment his eyes opened, and they both shot each other in the head at the same time in an impressive display of simultaneous laser beam thinger shooting. Brain were everywhere. I ate some.
Then Jean walked in.
"AGONY!" She shrieked, spying the mutilated corpses.
"AGONY!" She shrieked again, and fell to her knees, beating her fist thrice against the floor in an impressive display of mournful angst. Then St.John wandered into the living room, which was kind of confusing since he didn't really live there. He did have a tendancy to walk into people's houses for no reason however, and the security had recently been downgraded to just Logan, who as it so happens was wandering around somewhere, pondering his shaded past and making impressive faces of angst.
"G'day mate." Pyro said to Jean, in an impressive display of Australian lingo.
Jean, momentarily stunned by the effect of the accent plus the Australian-ness of Pyro's comment, began to stare at him. Pyro removed his shirt and posed impressively, his abs glistening with what appeared to be a fine layer of Vaseline.
"My, you are impressive." Said Jean, and St.John nodded knowingly, in a very intelligent way.
"Please, Might I lay down beside you so you may ease my suffering with a bounty of sexual pleasures beyond my wildest dreams?" She asked, clasping her hands in a very virginal manner, eyes glimmering with misty tears. Pyro opened his mouth to speak, and the awesomeness of his Australian accent struck all before him into a frenzy of animal lust.
"I would love to Sheila, but unfortunately, I came here to kill you. Tough luck, mate." Jean nodded, understanding that this was her destiny, and opened her arms wide as Pyro lit stuff on fire and them burned her to death.
"I DESERVE THIS!" Screamed Jean, as she was engulfed in impressively shaped flames. St.John nodded, and then as Jean was reduced to ash, he donned his red fedora and headed for the Disco-tech.
A few moments later, Kurt wandered into the room.
"Woe that I was not born with normal hands." He angsted, and then saw the carnage.
"AGONY!" He cried, and collapsed to the floor, beating his head thrice into the coffee table in an impressive display of masochistic angst.
"I deserve this!" He sobbed, as he continued to bludgeon himself, and the people rejoiced.
FIN!