I'm sorry I wasn't there
The day you were born
When even the child you were,
The tiny babe!
Understood how much pain it was in
Watching your mother leave you
You fell into yourself,
Safety found by
Letting the pain out in your new mother's arms
I would have wiped away your tears
I'm sorry my arms didn't cradle you
Fists banging on a bolted door
As your second chance died of illness
Lying in the nearby bedroom
You cried
And he found it infuriating
How insensitive of you to not know how he was suffering?
When you were suffering right along with him
I would have understood
I'm sorry I couldn't argue
When your father first hit you with his words
When you felt the first sting
In your bright garnet heart
Of pain you had never known
When you began to question yourself
Your innocence
And who you were
I would have told you exactly the kind of girl you were
I'm sorry I didn't throw myself in front of you
When he first hit you for real
When the hand smacked across your cheek
And the stick cracked across your unblemished back
Making the first of scars that I long to one day trace with my lips
And turn from pain to healing
I would have been your shield
I'm sorry you had to do all that you did
The blisters on your palms
Your cracked knuckles
Bruised knees
And shattered pride
You broke your back for a stinking tavern
And wandering hands of the much too old, too drunk
Carrying that thing home for the day's worth of scars
I would have lent you a hand
I'm sorry I was not the one with the answers
When you lost what made you you
To a careless word
The sheer invalidation
Of your work, your name, your birth
And the bastard who thought to exploit it
By sending you to a man who only treated you worse
I would have taught you with the utmost care
I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to burn that man
When he had the nerve to guess your heart
To judge you for his own ambition
When he knew your background;
It mirrored his much too well
I'm glad you ran
That was the bravest move
And only you could have done it
I would have burst with pride
I'm sorry you were betrayed again
When they who called themselves your family
Turned on you with all the patience of two year olds
Looking for any excuse to expel
The strongest of their group
I am not talking about magic
Yet you still didn't hate
You saved that girl's life
You wonderful wonderful woman
I would have ruled at your side
I'm sorry I messed up
When I finally was there
I came on too fast
We weren't ready
I should have known love better
And it was unfair to throw that on you
So thank you for rejecting me
I just hope that the brief care that covered your heart
Stayed with you on the coldest nights
I would have offered you my coat
I'm sorry you lost control
And I wasn't there to hold the broken pieces together
As you fell to murder
And adultery
And slavery
Trying to grasp something you'd never have
Even if you went back and did it all over again
And you tried
But as terrible as it was
You got a little squirming fraction of your heart out of it
Just enough border pieces
To begin filling in the center of the puzzle
And for that I am grateful
But I'm not sorry you're here now
I'm not sorry that I can talk to you
I'm not sorry for your brilliant smiles
I'm not sorry for the way your heart speeds up around me
I'm not sorry for how I can't keep my hands off of yours
I'm not sorry for how I imagine you dancing in my arms
I'm not sorry for red wine in glasses
Or withered flowers
Or my romantic taste in music
I'm not sorry for grasping onto you
And never letting go
I'm not sorry for kissing you
Not at all
And, above all else,
I'm not sorry for those first little jumps
Of my heart beneath your hand
The little breaths in your voice
And how great you look,
When you're in love
Author's note: Just a cute Zades poem I wrote from Hades' perspective to Zelena. The format was partially inspired by a poem I wrote for my mother on Mother's Day. I tend to write poetry in free verse and I am only an aspiring poet so please let me know how I did. R&R, thank you.