Hello! Long time no write. (and i mean a LONG time. yeah) So, this totally crack filled story was actually written by my cousin, Rich. I'm just his super sexy editor. Anyways, this is a really random spoof off Sailor Moon, which we don't own, Naoko Takeuchi does. Any and all references to racism and being racist are purely for enjoyment, not to be rude, so if you don't mind it, then read on. Also, flames aren't too accepted, since everything inappropriate is for humor purposes only. So please, don't flame us, unless you REALLY, and I mean, REALLY, take offense.

Also, this story has corse language, so if you no like, no read. yeah. that's about it.

Chapter 1: Moo, moo, Moon me!

Alone in his room Rich stared out at the full moon that night.
"I wonder if the moon is really made out of cheese? Rich said with a heavy sigh.
Licking his lips he fell asleep dreaming of being dipped into melted cheese, breaded and deep friend till golden brown.

The next morning came like a black woman after her husband who had been cheating with the milkman.

'What the hell? I almost found the beef!' Rich yelled to himself. School was just another worry to Rich, that and why drinking blue Hawaiian Punch makes your poop blue. It was just another unsolved mystery that couldn't be solved because it was unsolved since no one could solve it.

"Hmmm blue, blue like the sky, blue like the color of the liquid they pour into Maxi pad commercials. There has to be a connection to why my poop came out blue that one night."

Rich shook his head, slapped a baby and took a break from that question.
Thinking too much caused him cramps, and it was a heavy flow day.

Rich didn't like school very much since he went to UCRG, the University of California, Really Ghetto. They didn't even have a football team, but then who would really like to see guys piled on top of each other and get dirty? (Other than David). Rich parked, and made his way to campus. He noticed that a strange little Asian man drinking milk was staring at him.

"Sweet cocoa Jesus, not another one staring at my goodies" Rich was a magnet for perverts, and large women with whips.
Getting scared, and a little aroused Rich made a run for it to the bathroom to hide, because you know that sexy things never happen there.

Hiding in a stall he listened quietly. The creaking of the door caught his ear as it opened.

"I know that your in here, don't make it harder than it already is," the voice whispered.

"What the hell? Um, what am I making hard?" Rich asked.

The voice replied, "The chase, your making the chase hard."

'Oh, thats what's hard, or was it?' Rich thought.
He didnt need another man pitching a tent in his pants then being asked if he wanted to go camping.

Rich decided that there was no point in hiding, and came out of the stall. His face was in shock when he laid eyes on the person talking. There was a cow standing there.

Rich thought to himself, 'Oh, the beef. That's where it was.'

The cows mouth moved, "Climb on top and Ill take you for a magical ride."

"I don't fall for that line anymore. Fooled me sixty-five times. Shame on me" Rich said.

The cow let out a large moo then Rich appeared on the cows back. His expression was that of a Chinese person, and the smell of baked goods. As they road off into the sky the cow explained what was going on. Apparently the world was going to be over run with little brown things that will destroy it slowly.

Rich shouted, "MEXICANS! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG!"

The cow turned and said, "No, its not them this time, its something worse. Oprah is getting married, and will have BABIES!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Rich's scream rang through out the world. He was crying for the world and the horrors that would transpire if Oprah was allowed to breed.

"But what can one sexy Asian guy do?" exclaimed Rich.

"You can save the world if you wish," cried the cow.

"But how? It's Oprah; she's like Jesus, all powerful, and a black woman."

"She can be defeated, and you will have to lead the battle," the beef said.

"All I can do is make fun of poor people, how will that help?" Rich sighed.

Unknownto Rich he was the reincarnation of the legendary moon princess.

"Moon Princess? Wait, I'm a guy!" Rich shouted.

"There have been some sexy changes, so you are now the Moon princess," the cow replied.

"Well I can be a Moon Prince then," Rich said with a smile.

"NO! MOON PRINCESS!" the cow shouted.

Apparently only the Moon Princess was allowed by the sexy universal laws. Rich was filled in on what his task was. He was to gather the other soldiers from the other planets as putting together their combined legendary power was to only way to stop Oprah from reproducing. She was stopped 500 years ago, but she awoke from her slumber once again.

"Wait! the moon isnt even a planet," he finally figured out.

"Well, its close enough," the beef replied.

"Shouldn't it be Earth Prince or something?" he thought.

"NO! MOON PRINCESS!" cow mooed out.

Rich didn't know how he had read his mind that moment. It must be because the cow makes milk and milk is magic, like the kind you find in a young girl's heart. Rich then decided that he must fight to protect the world so that he could destroy it himself later.

"OKAY! So what should I call you from now on," Rich said.

"Oh, sorry the name's Leche," responded the cow.

In an instant Leches horns started to turn bright red and lit up like sirens.

To Be Continued! Dun dun dun! Yeah.

I will update whenever I have time. So bear with me. Anyway, comment if you like, cuz i like comments!