I own nothing except a few Dachshunds. My name is not Julian Fellows nor will it ever be. Do I make my meaning clear? ;)
They were colleagues, best friends and occasional lovers. Elsie wasn't proud of that fact and neither was Charles, but there were times when they needed one another in more ways than a simple smile or sympathetic look over a cup of tea or glass of sherry. There were times when they needed to confirm that there was someone there who felt and needed as much as the other did. The confirmation that someone was still there, with a heart beating, lungs breathing. Living. Not a soul, living or otherwise, would ever know that these moments happened, but without them neither of them would be able to maintain the strong front that they always put up. They were the strong ones, the back bone of the staff. The carers, the rule enforcers, the parents. But they needed to let their barriers down once in a while, to feel venerable and to let someone take care of them for a change rather than the other way around. It had first started many years ago when he had received the news that his mother had died, when he was still under butler and she was head house maid. To be honest she still wasn't sure how it had happened, given that she had hated him right from the very start. He was the unbending, pretentious, sarcastic under butler who didn't seem to believe that it was okay for staff to have fun once in a while or that mistakes were occasionally made. There wasn't a day that went by without them clashing over something, usually something small and unimportant that no one else would give two hoots about. They would end up in an unoccupied hall in the servants quarters, screaming insults at one another, both of them ending up red faced and extremely irate with each other, her with curls coming out of her pins and falling into her face, him with his hair standing on end due the numerous times he'd run his fingers though it. They would continue like this until eventually either the house keeper or butler would put an end to it and send them to opposite ends of the house. But that day he'd been miraculously compliant and his mind seemed to else where. Elsie was ashamed to admit it, but she thought she'd finally won their long standing disagreement. Then she had found him sitting in the servants hall, staring at the table as though it had done him a great personal harm at some ungodly hour of the morning. She called his name softly from the doorway and he'd looked up in surprise. She'd had to stifle a gasp at his appearance. His eyes were red rimmed, his hair a mess and he looked exhausted. But it was the pain in his eyes that took away the sarcastic comment she was prepared to give him. It was as though all his barriers had fallen away and she could finally see the man within. She had gone over to him and enveloped him into a caring hug. An hour later she was writhing under him on the table. Breakfast had been especially awkward the next morning, as every time they caught one another's eye one of them would turn scarlet. Thankfully no one noticed or chose to remark on it. They came to an unspoken agreement never to mention that night again but something had shifted between them. They no longer had full blow outs over unimportant things (they still fought like cat and dog but now it was over something worth fighting about) and tended to take one another's side more often and when they couldn't do that they stayed as far away as possible from each other. When old Mr Haywood had finally retired Elsie couldn't imagine a better replacement than Charles and couldn't be happier for him. Mrs Russle had retired shortly afterwards and despite the misgivings the rest of the staff had, they were rather good at working together to create a successful household. They had learnt to balance one another, she teaching him to relax a little more and him teaching her that one must always ask for the highest standards. It had been during this time that they became friends, with each of them learning to trust and confide in one another during the late nights spent waiting for the family to return. Until the news had come to them that one of their former maids, a very good friend of Elsie's, had been taken ill and had died rather suddenly. Elsie had received the letter and for reasons she would never know had fled to his pantry and flung herself into his arms, with tears pouring down her face. When they eventually subsided she started to apologize but he swiftly cut her off by covering her mouth with his and to this day she still had never found the buttons for that dress. But it had been what she'd needed and somehow he had instinctively known. These moments of madness as Elsie referred to them in her head continued over the years, in both sad times, like when William had died, and happy times such as when Lady Mary finally accepted Mr Mathew. In between these moments though they continued to grow closer and understand one another better. They now could tell what the other was thinking just in a glance or a slight change in tone of voice. Anna had complained once when she'd first arrived that they could hold a conversation without uttering a word and how it unnerved the rest of the staff. She had laughed it off as silliness but when she sat down and thought about Elsie knew that Anna had been correct. They knew each other inside and out, backwards and forwards and while she had hated him in the beginning, the more she understood the more she came to care for this man and his ways. It made him who he truly was and she thanked god every day that she was privileged to work with him and to know him. It wasn't until Mary had lost the love of her life that she realized she had fallen in love with Charles Carson. And she had fallen hard.
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