A/N: I don't own any of the characters or make any money from this.
Enjoy!

You make me sick

I think I love you.

I look at you, No, even if I think about you I feel the butterflies in my stomach. My heart rate picks up and the smile on my face is so big I know that in the privacy of my bed I must look like a lunatic. I start picking at my nails in nervousness. None of that matters, I realise, because my feelings for you are making me happy inside. Sometimes I'm so happy my friends look at me strange. They must think I'm crazy, that I've gone Looney or something. Looney tunes.
I laugh at the idotic joke I make in my head. Hearing my own laugh makes me laugh even harder until there's tears streaming down my face, they bring me back down to earth. I sigh contently.

I believe that where I am now, when I think about you, is my own personal heaven.
I fear for my own sanity when I look at you, you're so beautiful that it's not humanly possible. Your deep brown hair looks so delicate cradling your cheeks and chin. Everything about you is flawless there's not a thing out of place. You must be an agel.

I wouldn't think anything or anyone could take this away from me, this happiness. This happiness that feels like heaven.
One single thought makes me sad. You hate me with as much passion as I feel love towards you.

Instead of the deliriously happy tears that expelled from my eyes earlier there's painful and stinging tears making their way down my cheeks now. This hurts so much. It hurts to love you knowing that you hate everything about me, the words you spit at me are like spikes being thrown straight through my heart. Being enemies with you isn't fun anymore when everything you say to me is like this. I used to think dueling with you and spitting insults and nasty verbal attacks at you were fun too, but not anymore. I'm not sure when my feelings towards you changed, all I know is that they have changed and are changing even more now.

I'm sobbing into my pillow now, I hope no one can hear me.
I feel the depression coming on; the slow, creeping sensation is pulling me under. It's dark creeping tenticles curling around my lungs. I hiccup and sputter around a cough at the same time. I feel my breathing become ragged, I can feel the tenticles curl around me tighter. I try to calm myself down but it's too much all at once. I take a deep unsteady breathe in and hold for as long as I can. When my head starts to go foggy, I let it out. As I do this a couple more times the relief settles in, but not for long.
It's too late my thoughts have turned sour and bitter towards you, I don't like this feeling.
Depression is dragging me to a place I thought I would never go again when I thought about you. Thinking about you isn't working anymore.

I feel my chest compressing, the tendrils comsuming me. I'm sinking further into myself, my eyelids feel heavy so I lay my head back onto my pillow. It was too soon to move it seems because the butterflies I felt there a minute ago have now turned into rocks tumbling around in my stomach. I need to throw up. My head is a blur, I can't think properly so I turn slightly and puke right where I am straight onto my pillow. It streaks my hair an orangey colour.
Pumpkin juice.

I think that loving you has made me sick.

-End-

A/N: Please review! Criticisms are okay too!
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