Okay, this was inspired by an email I received. It may get a bit graphic toward the end, but I promise you, just keep reading and it will all fall into place. Remember, not everything is as it may seem.
Misconceptions
It had been over a year since Jack Sparrow's infamous escape from the gallows, and a sense of normalcy had returned to Port Royal. Life had evened out a bit, and the town's citizens fell back into an uneventful routine. Not that this was bad, it was just. . . mundane.
It was around this time that a certain blacksmith began to feel an odd sense of hurting well up inside him. Will Turner had been more than happy that his pirate friend Jack had escaped death by hanging, even if Will had to put his own life on the line to help him out. He was happy to see Jack go, and return to his beloved Pearl and his way of life. But it was only a few months after this that Will had begun to feel something change inside him. Actually, he first noticed it when drinking from his secret stash of rum. Jack's influence seemed to have helped him develop a certain taste for the drink. As the months went on, the odd feeling rapidly changed into a pain, and the pain increased inside Will. He tried to drown it away with rum, but to no avail. The hurting was still there, but he only ended up with a nasty hangover and a furious Elizabeth.
Ah, Elizabeth. His beautiful new wife of only a few weeks. Will loved Elizabeth with every inch of his soul, but in his heart he knew that she could not make this pain go away. He needed someone else, someone who could help answer his questions, but who?
Perhaps Mr. Brown, his former employer? No, that would never do. When the man was not unconscious, he was drinking half of Port Royal's supply of wine away. Plus, the man was rather. . . unclean, and his hands were rough and unsteady. That would never do.
Commodore Norrington? Definitely not. As much as Will respected the man for his kindness for forgiving Will for "taking" Elizabeth from him, Norrington, he was sure, certainly would have no skill in the area, which would most likely only serve to create an awkward situation between the two. And most likely, the man would find such a proposition to be preposterous and would hurriedly refuse.
But who else could there be? Governor Swann? No, a bit too old and unsteady. The town doctor? Perhaps. . . he always seemed to be a bit. . . different from the rest of Port Royal's citizens. Will even went as far as to visit the good Doctor and privately inquire further into the matter, but the man wouldn't hear of it. He seemed a bit taken aback, and said that he had no experience in that matter. He also went so far as to inform Will that neither did anyone else in Port Royal that he knew of, so that perhaps he should find this person elsewhere.
And right at that moment, Will thought of exactly who could help him heal his hurting.
None other than Captain Jack Sparrow.
---------------
"William, m'lad! How is life treating ya? I hear you've married yourself to that fine strumpet o' yours, eh?" Will only smiled grimly in response to Jack's greeting. As luck would have it, the Black Pearl stopped into Port Royal not a week later. Will became terribly excited as well as a bit anxious and nervous when he saw the ominous black sails looming in the distance. Jack had finally come.
"Wha's the matter, whelp? Somethin' wrong between you and ol' Lizzie?" Jack was a bit concerned at Will's response, or lack thereof, to his previous question. When he last saw the boy, he and Elizabeth Swann were madly in love. In fact, the last he saw of them, they were busy figuring out how to snog each other without Will's big hat getting in the way. Surely things could not have changed that much since then?
"Jack, can I talk to you? I think I need a favor," Will said in a serious tone. He prayed that Jack could help him. After all, he was a pirate captain, and pirates tended to be more experienced in a wider realm of. . . skills.
Jack's sense of humor quickly forgotten, he replied stoically, "Of course, mate. Won't you step inside me cabin?"
----------------
"Jack, are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"O'course I do, lad! I'm Captain Jack Sparrow after all." Will's back muscles tightened in anticipation as Jack slowly leaned over him. He could smell the scent of rum on his breath, and took in the aroma of sea salt from his body. "Have ye ever had this done b'fore, may I ask?"
"No, this is the first time." Will inhaled sharply as Jack began to enter, and he pulled back suddenly. "This isn't going to hurt, is it?"
"Well, actually, it will at first. But trust me, lad, I've had this done on me myself many a time b'fore," Jack said, smiling reassuringly at Will, his golden teeth gleaming. "Th' pain will go away after the first few minutes."
"Alright. . ." But Will was still not convinced that this was the solution to his problem. However, he couldn't think of any other options, and Jack seemed sure that this would help him out.
Jack looked deeply into Will's eyes. "Lad, I just need you to trust me, alright?" Will was still a bit nervous, but the sincere, caring look in Jack's eyes convinced him to go through with it.
He took a deep breath as Jack slowly entered, being careful to be as gentle as possible. At first, it was almost a bit. . . relaxing. . . enjoyable. . . Will did not know exactly how to describe what he was feeling. But as Jack pressed in a bit farther, Will inhaled sharply as a sharp pain went through his entire body. He began to wiggle a bit under Jack, and even pleaded with him to stop, but Jack was unrelenting; he just kept going further and further into him. Soon he felt the tissue tearing, and the warmth of a slight trickle of blood as Jack continued. He looked up at Jack's face and noticed that despite the calm, concentrated look on his face, he was sweating bullets.
It now seemed to Will that Jack had gone in as far as he was going to, and he was now moving in and out with much skill. It was obvious to Will that Jack had done this quite a few times before, and he felt a bit embarassed at being so naive. But now, just like Jack said, the pain had nearly disappeared, and he felt a strange warm numbness in the area. A couple more minutes pass, and Will finally feels something within him tear away free, and Jack slowly, but gently pulls out, leaving Will breathing heavily.
----------------------
"Well, lad, was that as bad as you thought?"
"No, not really. It did hurt, but not as much as I expected." They both paused for a second, looking into each other's eyes. Jack wiped some sweat off his brow with his shirtsleeve. "Jack?"
"Yes, Will?"
"Thank you. I feel much better now."
"'Twas my pleasure, lad. Pity this place doesn't have a dentist, though. Oh, which reminds me. . ." Jack opened a small, white cloth, which revealed Will's blackened, rotten molar. "Y'might wanna put that under yer pillow for the tooth fairy, aye?"
Will smiled as he took the tooth from Jack. "Yes, I guess so." He stood up and walked to the door of Jack's cabin, his tongue still feeling around the hole in his mouth where Jack had just finished pulling out his rotten tooth. "Thanks again, Jack. If I ever get another cavity, I'll know just who to come to."
"O'course. But just lay off the sweets, aye? Ye won't wanna end up with a mouth full of metal like ol' Jack here."
"I'll try, Jack. I'll try. Trust me, I don't look forward to having any more teeth pulled."
"And I don't look forward to pullin' any more of 'em." Will laughed as he exited the cabin, heading back home to his lovely wife. He smiled inwardly as he thought that maybe if he was lucky, the "tooth fairy" might bring him something good that night. . .
Haha, how did you like that? I bet I know what you were thinking, you dirty little person, you. See, I'm not big on the whole slash scene, so I thought this would be funny to write just to throw everyone off a bit. Let me know what you thought!
Misconceptions
It had been over a year since Jack Sparrow's infamous escape from the gallows, and a sense of normalcy had returned to Port Royal. Life had evened out a bit, and the town's citizens fell back into an uneventful routine. Not that this was bad, it was just. . . mundane.
It was around this time that a certain blacksmith began to feel an odd sense of hurting well up inside him. Will Turner had been more than happy that his pirate friend Jack had escaped death by hanging, even if Will had to put his own life on the line to help him out. He was happy to see Jack go, and return to his beloved Pearl and his way of life. But it was only a few months after this that Will had begun to feel something change inside him. Actually, he first noticed it when drinking from his secret stash of rum. Jack's influence seemed to have helped him develop a certain taste for the drink. As the months went on, the odd feeling rapidly changed into a pain, and the pain increased inside Will. He tried to drown it away with rum, but to no avail. The hurting was still there, but he only ended up with a nasty hangover and a furious Elizabeth.
Ah, Elizabeth. His beautiful new wife of only a few weeks. Will loved Elizabeth with every inch of his soul, but in his heart he knew that she could not make this pain go away. He needed someone else, someone who could help answer his questions, but who?
Perhaps Mr. Brown, his former employer? No, that would never do. When the man was not unconscious, he was drinking half of Port Royal's supply of wine away. Plus, the man was rather. . . unclean, and his hands were rough and unsteady. That would never do.
Commodore Norrington? Definitely not. As much as Will respected the man for his kindness for forgiving Will for "taking" Elizabeth from him, Norrington, he was sure, certainly would have no skill in the area, which would most likely only serve to create an awkward situation between the two. And most likely, the man would find such a proposition to be preposterous and would hurriedly refuse.
But who else could there be? Governor Swann? No, a bit too old and unsteady. The town doctor? Perhaps. . . he always seemed to be a bit. . . different from the rest of Port Royal's citizens. Will even went as far as to visit the good Doctor and privately inquire further into the matter, but the man wouldn't hear of it. He seemed a bit taken aback, and said that he had no experience in that matter. He also went so far as to inform Will that neither did anyone else in Port Royal that he knew of, so that perhaps he should find this person elsewhere.
And right at that moment, Will thought of exactly who could help him heal his hurting.
None other than Captain Jack Sparrow.
---------------
"William, m'lad! How is life treating ya? I hear you've married yourself to that fine strumpet o' yours, eh?" Will only smiled grimly in response to Jack's greeting. As luck would have it, the Black Pearl stopped into Port Royal not a week later. Will became terribly excited as well as a bit anxious and nervous when he saw the ominous black sails looming in the distance. Jack had finally come.
"Wha's the matter, whelp? Somethin' wrong between you and ol' Lizzie?" Jack was a bit concerned at Will's response, or lack thereof, to his previous question. When he last saw the boy, he and Elizabeth Swann were madly in love. In fact, the last he saw of them, they were busy figuring out how to snog each other without Will's big hat getting in the way. Surely things could not have changed that much since then?
"Jack, can I talk to you? I think I need a favor," Will said in a serious tone. He prayed that Jack could help him. After all, he was a pirate captain, and pirates tended to be more experienced in a wider realm of. . . skills.
Jack's sense of humor quickly forgotten, he replied stoically, "Of course, mate. Won't you step inside me cabin?"
----------------
"Jack, are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"O'course I do, lad! I'm Captain Jack Sparrow after all." Will's back muscles tightened in anticipation as Jack slowly leaned over him. He could smell the scent of rum on his breath, and took in the aroma of sea salt from his body. "Have ye ever had this done b'fore, may I ask?"
"No, this is the first time." Will inhaled sharply as Jack began to enter, and he pulled back suddenly. "This isn't going to hurt, is it?"
"Well, actually, it will at first. But trust me, lad, I've had this done on me myself many a time b'fore," Jack said, smiling reassuringly at Will, his golden teeth gleaming. "Th' pain will go away after the first few minutes."
"Alright. . ." But Will was still not convinced that this was the solution to his problem. However, he couldn't think of any other options, and Jack seemed sure that this would help him out.
Jack looked deeply into Will's eyes. "Lad, I just need you to trust me, alright?" Will was still a bit nervous, but the sincere, caring look in Jack's eyes convinced him to go through with it.
He took a deep breath as Jack slowly entered, being careful to be as gentle as possible. At first, it was almost a bit. . . relaxing. . . enjoyable. . . Will did not know exactly how to describe what he was feeling. But as Jack pressed in a bit farther, Will inhaled sharply as a sharp pain went through his entire body. He began to wiggle a bit under Jack, and even pleaded with him to stop, but Jack was unrelenting; he just kept going further and further into him. Soon he felt the tissue tearing, and the warmth of a slight trickle of blood as Jack continued. He looked up at Jack's face and noticed that despite the calm, concentrated look on his face, he was sweating bullets.
It now seemed to Will that Jack had gone in as far as he was going to, and he was now moving in and out with much skill. It was obvious to Will that Jack had done this quite a few times before, and he felt a bit embarassed at being so naive. But now, just like Jack said, the pain had nearly disappeared, and he felt a strange warm numbness in the area. A couple more minutes pass, and Will finally feels something within him tear away free, and Jack slowly, but gently pulls out, leaving Will breathing heavily.
----------------------
"Well, lad, was that as bad as you thought?"
"No, not really. It did hurt, but not as much as I expected." They both paused for a second, looking into each other's eyes. Jack wiped some sweat off his brow with his shirtsleeve. "Jack?"
"Yes, Will?"
"Thank you. I feel much better now."
"'Twas my pleasure, lad. Pity this place doesn't have a dentist, though. Oh, which reminds me. . ." Jack opened a small, white cloth, which revealed Will's blackened, rotten molar. "Y'might wanna put that under yer pillow for the tooth fairy, aye?"
Will smiled as he took the tooth from Jack. "Yes, I guess so." He stood up and walked to the door of Jack's cabin, his tongue still feeling around the hole in his mouth where Jack had just finished pulling out his rotten tooth. "Thanks again, Jack. If I ever get another cavity, I'll know just who to come to."
"O'course. But just lay off the sweets, aye? Ye won't wanna end up with a mouth full of metal like ol' Jack here."
"I'll try, Jack. I'll try. Trust me, I don't look forward to having any more teeth pulled."
"And I don't look forward to pullin' any more of 'em." Will laughed as he exited the cabin, heading back home to his lovely wife. He smiled inwardly as he thought that maybe if he was lucky, the "tooth fairy" might bring him something good that night. . .
Haha, how did you like that? I bet I know what you were thinking, you dirty little person, you. See, I'm not big on the whole slash scene, so I thought this would be funny to write just to throw everyone off a bit. Let me know what you thought!