TITLE: Storm Brewing

AUTHOR: Rhasa

RATING: PG 13

KEYWORDS: ANGST Max Alec Logan showdown

SUMMARY: Are some truths better not known? Early days in TC.

ARCHIVE: no.

DISCLAIMER: Not owned by me. James Cameron et al. No money being made.

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WARNING ANGST Read at own risk (which means don't flame the angst – flame everything else if you must but not the angst - S)

Storm Brewing

By Rhasa

"Damnit, that's just not an excuse, Mole and you know it!" Max spat as she slamed her fist on the command centre table.

"I'm not trying to excuse his behaviour," Mole snarled back.

"Yes you are, or at the very least you're trying to excuse yours!" She pointed an angry finger at the lizard man in front of her.

"What the flying fig are you getting at?"

"You're in charge of weapons," she said, hands now placed frimly on her hips. "Tell me, how did he get hold of the gun, in the first place?"

"That's not fair, Max," Mole said in a warning tone.

"This has got nothing to do with being fair-"

"Max-" Alec said her name in a warning tone. He did not want the argument that had been roaring through the commane centre for the past fifteen minutes to escalate any further. Challenging Mole on his handling of TCs weapons was one sure way to do just that. Alec knew full well that Max was using this latest 'incident' to vent some of her general frustration.

"He shot over the perimeter fence, Alec! He almost started an all out shoot out with the Seattle PD, Military and god knows how many tranie haters who have been itching for some action ever since we've holed up here!"

"Max, he's young. He was only trying to get some food," Logan waded in. "The anomolies need fresh meat and supplies are running out pretty fast. Rat is as good a source of protein as anything else in a pinch."

"His rat hunt almost caused a war for us!" Max yelled again.

Max's tirade was a distraction for all in the command centre for a good half hour. Her outburst was kind of expected by those close to her. The toll of keeping the Seattle PD and military at bay for the last three weeks since the siege in TC had began had started to show on the self appointed leader. They were all trying to find their feet. They were all trying to help. But there was so much to organise, that it was easy to feel hopeless and despondent. At the end of of the latest 'straw that broke the camels back' all aprticpants were exhausted. Mole, Logan, Alec and even Dix had tried to get Max to see reason, to see that the anomolie in question was not the brightest crayon in the box and as a result of never having had munitions training had not even realised that his shot would go over the perimeter fence.

"I can't tell you just how damn lucky we are that the only casualty was a Seattle PD car window," was Max's final word on the subject.

Alec sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. More than once he had tried to wade in to get Max to see reason, but in the end he was resigned to let her fury run its course. He smiled slightly to himself as she left the command centre, thinking that it wouldn't be long before hurricane Max would be building up again.

"I know what it's like,you know," Logan said to Alec after all the others had gone.

"Know what's what like?" Alec said somewhat disinterested as he began gathering papers from the table.

"To want something you can't have."

Alec looked up. "Whatcha you talking about?" he asked, slightly supiscious of the older man's tone. A few times in the last week, Alec had caught Logan looking at him. At first he had suspected that Logan was eyeing him with contempt for supposedly stealing Max away from him. The whole "Max and Alec together' ruse had worn on Alec's nerves for the first few days, but after that, everyone had been so busy with the day to day struggle of trying to stay alive, that the relationship equilibrium had pretty much returned to normal. But that hadn't stopped Logan from giving him strange looks from time to time. It had made Alec feel like some sort of bug under a microscope.

"I know you two aren't really together. I suspect now that you never really were," Logan said casually.

"Logan-" Alec sighed, ready for the confrontation that was inevitably to follow. He had suspected all would come out in good time, especially after he had caught Max holding Logan's hand when they had raised the TC flag.

"I don't know what I was thinking when I came up with the idea that you two were an item," Logan confessed. "I'll never forgive myself for not trusting her. It's just..... well, I can rattle off how I had just gotten over being infected with the virus, how it was all too hard, how I was angry with Manticore, the world, even you. I never thought I was the jealous type. But when I saw her with you that morning, it was like a lightbulb flashing above my head. I had already lost so much, the use of my legs, the right to touch her and at the time, thiking that I had lost her to you just fit in to the anger and depression all too well. Truth was, and I can admit it now, I was always jealous of you, your strength, your closeness-"

Alec threw up a hand. "Max and I are not now, and have never been, close-"

"Maybe not in some ways, but you share so many similarities. Face it Alec, you're everything I'm not."

"Logan she lov-"

"I'm not looking for your pity," the older man declared.

"And you're not going to get it," Alec countered. "Look man, I'm just trying to tell you the facts. I didn't want any part of this little game she's been playing."

"I believe you."

"She only did it to protect you, to keep you safe. I never agreed with her reasons for doing it, but I understood the way she felt."

"And I think I finally understand the way you feel."

"What are you talking about?"

"Like I said, I know what it's like to want something you can't have. It's the way I feel about Max. It's the way I felt the first year we knew each other when we stupidly put so much distance between us. It's the same way I felt when she came back from Manticore and we learnt about the virus. And it's the way I felt when she first told me, when I believed you two were together. I've always wanted her, but for many reasons I've never really had her."

"And your point is?"

"As I said, I think I finally understand the way you feel..... but there's just this one thing. One more thing I need to.... have to know, Alec...."

"What more is there to know?"

"Are you in love with Max?"

"What?" Alec choked.

"I'm asking for an honest answer," Logan said seriously.

"Logan, you're insane."

"I don't think I am. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm not. We've been stuck here inside Terminal City for the past three weeks. Plenty of time for me to watch you two together. See how you operate. You two work well together. I don't quite know what it is about you two that demands such respect from the others. You organise, you command, the way you've brought order to the chaos you all find yourselves in is impressive."

"It's just work, Logan. It's what we were born to do."

"Yeah, I know. But it's not the times that you two are togther that makes me wonder. I see you Alec, in the command centre, watching her from across the room, tracking her every move. I see the concern, the worry, the admiration in your eyes when you watch her, when you know she isn't looking at you. I see you lift your head a little every time you hear her voice. I see the faint smile on your lips when she's barking orders. I see you grimace when late at night she stretches her neck side to side trying to release the knots and kinks that have formed there from all the stress she's under. I've even she you take a few steps towards her, hands slightly raised as if intended to free her from that tension. I see you straighten up whenever she approaches me. I hear that you are always in the docks waiting for her when she returns from a heist. You're never too far away. Your drawn to her, Alec. Just like I was. Just like I am."

"She's our leader, Logan," Alec stated. "We all look out for her."

"No. How you act, it's not quite the same as just looking out for someone. I know, Alec. I know, because the looks you give her, even when she's not watching, are the looks I used to give her. So I ask again, because I have to know...... I have to know what I'm up against, 'cause I'm telling you, I'll fight for her, Alec. I'm not going to make any more mistakes. I'm not going to be noble and do what's 'best'. No. I'm going to fight for her. I'll fight the virus. I'll fight Manticore. I'll fight White and his breeding cult. I'll fight the rest of Seattle, the whole "Trannie hating world". And I'll fight you, Alec. If you love her, I'll fight."

............

Author's Note:

Don't flame me for the angst – it's what I do. If you don't like it, don't read anything else of mine and I did warn you.

Reviews yeah. Sorry, but I'm another one of those really annoying 'beg you to review my stuff' junkies. I just can't seem to break the habit sigh . Love to enter a dialogue with you on just about anything DA.

Okay, this little piece comes from a thought I had about a toussle between Logan and Alec for Max that would occur behind Max's back (because face it, she would kill them if she found out). I suppose it could possibly be similar to my "Between a Rock and a Hard Place" series, but as I make these things up as I go along who knows what the hell would happen. I'd like to see how Logan would "woo" (for want of a better word) Max away from Alec. Would Logan stand a chance?

This gives me another idea. It might be fun if a M/L writer wrote the Logan wooing part and a different M/A writer wrote the Alec part – now there would be a war of words. I can't imagine how that would turn out. Just a thought....

For those of you who want to know what happened to "Today They Won the Battle" series well, it's too painful to talk about...... but I will anyway. I got this nasty computer virus that wiped six chapters yet to be published on the web. It now seems that I have no way of recovering them (I will be using back up disks from now on – stupid that I didn't before. Argh!). I also had to change email accounts. I had sent a few chapters out to faithful readers ahead of time, but I do not know who might have received them. If you did can you please let me know? Thanks