A/N: I came up with this idea a few days ago and I sort of liked it. It's a one shot. Anyways, hope you like it. Set the night after Ana and Libby were shot. Oh, let me check if I own lost. Hmm…sadly, nope. If I did, Ana would be alive, and Jack and Kate would have been together so long ago. Anyways, here is the story.
He sighed rubbing his head with his hands. How was he going to talk to her? It was becoming more and more difficult for him. True. They were still friends, but sometimes it seemed like they were more. The flirting, as harmless as it was, was becoming more frequent. How was he going to tell her? She had become his best friend over the months they had been here, and this would just make what he was going to do harder.
He sighed again, and started to walk towards her. He realized how far away from everyone else she was. Down the beach, the fires not close at all. But the stars and moon shone that night, making her glow sort of in the night. He admitted she looked beautiful. It was just…he couldn't get close to her. Especially now.
"Mind if I sit down?" He asked, coming up behind her.
Her gaze slowly dropped from the sky to the sand. "Go ahead." She said, no emotion showing.
He sat down next to her, putting his backpack down next to him, and looked out to where she was now looked, out at the water. It was so peaceful with the waves going against the shore. He loved it at the beach, true, but the caves were safer.
"Are you ok, Kate?" He asked, breaking the silence between them. He tried to look into her green eyes, but she was avoiding his gaze.
She didn't answer for a while, as her shoes seemed to be the most interesting thing at the moment. Even in the darkness, he could tell she had been crying. "It's just…I can't believe it. How did Henry even get away? It just doesn't make sense." She said suddenly.
"Locke said he was choking Ana before. He could have taken the gun, and it would have been that simple." He said.
"I know…but why was she on the couch then. It just doesn't make sense." Kate said, still avoiding his gaze.
He thought about that for a second. She was right, it didn't make sense. But Henry was smart. He could have figured out something.
"How's Sawyer?" He asked his voice this time with no emotion.
"Good." She replied.
"I need to talk to you about something Kate." He sighed, after a few moments.
"What?" She asked no emotion again.
"I…it sounds crazy but…I have to leave." He said, looking up at the sky.
"What do you mean 'leave'?" She asked, looking up slightly.
"Leave. Run. Whatever you want to call it." He said.
She looked his face over; trying to find something that told her he was lying. "You're serious, Jack?" She asked.
Jack nodded. "I can't take it anymore Kate. Everyone getting hurt all the time…everyone thinking I'm going to save them. And I know I can't. I try, and I just can't. I couldn't save Boone; I couldn't save Libby…what's the point of having a doctor if he can't save anyone?" He said.
She shook her head the whole time he was saying everything. "You saved Charlie. You saved Boone once when he was drowning the first few days we were here. You saved Sawyer from his bullet wound. Jack, without you, half of us would already be dead." Kate said, looking at him now.
"Yeah. But I've saved less people, then the people who have died." He said. "I just…can't anymore Kate."
"Damn it Jack, shut up." She said.
He looked at her, stunned. That wasn't the reaction he had been expecting at all. He gave her a confused look, and she shook her head.
"You don't get it. All you think about is what you've done wrong. I hate it when you do that Jack. Hate it. It's like; you look at the bad part of life instead of the good part. If I did that, I would be in one hell of a depression." She said. "It's like you don't expect anyone to die. We're on a deserted island! Do you know how jealous of you I am? You have no idea how easy your life is compared to mine. And what's worse, I have some perverted southerner go and tell everyone I'm a fugitive!"
Jack starred at her for a moment, there eyes meeting for the first time that night. She looked at him for a moment, and he could see in her eyes, she was angry. She looked away from him, in the other direction.
"I…" He started to say, but she cut him off.
"Save it." She said. "Just don't…"
He could tell she was crying, but she was hiding it the best she could. Neither of them got up, both of them just sitting there. "What do you do to deal with your problems?" He asked.
She didn't reply, and didn't look at him either. He couldn't take this anymore. It was just making everything harder. He sighed, and looked down.
"Anyways, I had to tell someone before I went. And don't let anyone come after me." Jack said, and he started to get up. To his surprise, he felt her hand grab his.
"Please Jack…don't. I…we can't…please. You're our leader Jack." Kate said.
Jack looked down into her green eyes, and knew she meant it. She was asking him…begging him to stay. "I…I can't. I have to…" But before he could finish, she suddenly let go of his hand, and lay on the sand. Her back was turned to him, and he could tell she had given up.
"This happens every time Jack. Every time. I try to stay away from people I don't try to get to close to them. But I can't help it. It's who I am. Then they leave, or get hurt or just plain hate me." She said.
He looked down at her for a moment, and then sighed. "I'm sorry Kate." He said, rubbing his eyes. "Besides, you still have a lot of other people here…like Sawyer…" But she cut him off again
"Will you stop bringing up Sawyer? He's just a friend Jack." She said.
"And what does that make me?" He asked.
"You're my best friend Jack. Hell, you probably know more about me then anyone else on this island. If you leave…I just can't trust anyone else Jack." She said, sitting up again. "And you wouldn't be hurting just me Jack. You make everyone feel better. You're the only one that knows how to handle things."
"You think this isn't hard for me?" He asked bitterly. "I care about everyone here. I couldn't stand it if anyone got hurt."
"Then why are you leaving, if you're the only one that can help?" Kate asked, looking into his eyes again.
The question lingered in the air, and they both just starred at each other for what seemed like hours, but was only about one minute. He stayed angry, but then slowly felt some tears coming to his eyes. He turned away. He couldn't cry. Not now. He wasn't supposed to. That was weakness, and he couldn't show it. Not on the island, and not in front of Kate. He slowly sat down next to her, and looked at his hands.
"I don't know." He said, finally replying to her question. "I just wanted it all to go away."
"Yeah, so do I." Kate said.
"I…I'm sorry." He said, looking at her again. "I wasn't thinking. I was looking for an easy way out…"
"It's ok Jack. Let's just…forget it. Okay?" Kate asked.
"Okay." He said, and smiled slightly. She smiled back, and they both looked up at the stars. For once, Jack had time to just relax with out having to be drugged by Kate or anything. And it felt nice.
A/N: Hope you liked it! I enjoyed writing it. Anyways, please review!