Story Title: All Roads Lead To Yale
Characters/Pairings - Dan/Blair (Serena, Chuck, Jenny, Rufus, Vanessa, and other characters also feature)
Plot: Takes place sometime within the Episode 2.21 "Seder Anything" universe.
Summary: Blair is more desperate than ever to get into Yale. She ropes an unwilling Dan into her plans. However, she wasn't expecting the road to Yale to lead to other things.
Notes: Everything in Episode 2.21 occurred except, Blair didn't make up with Nate, Blair didn't ask Cyrus to talk to his friend about NYU and Rufus and Jenny spent the night at Lily's.
In this universe, Vanessa comes to Dan for comfort following her encounter with Chuck and her break up with Nate respectively. Dan and Vanessa brood over drinks; Dan has one or two drinks while Vanessa gets royally drunk, causing Dan to put her to bed in Jenny's room.
Dedications and thank yous: A big thank you to my beta Megan who waded through the badness and helped me shape this story into something more realistic and hopefully interesting. I appreciate your patience, tenacity and dedication. It couldn't have been easy reading the same old story (loaded with badness) again and again. I couldn't have done this without you and I learnt so much from this experience (absolutely invaluable) and I hope I will be able to transfer everything I learnt into my fic writing. I don't know if I'll write a fic of this length again though.
Thank you to Vivian for your invaluable help with the initial six chapters, I appreciated the feedback; it was instrumental in shaping the plot, story flow and future chapters.
miss_pai, thank you again for beta reading the first chapter.
Now that I've finished gushing like a fan girl, unto the story and happy reading
Chapter 1 – Showing Humphrey Who's Boss
The next best strategy is to market yourself more effectively. – Sun Tzu's "The Art of War for Executives"
Blair Waldorf was deep in thought after Serena left.
Blair's thoughts were focused on the day's events: Nate, his grandfather, Yale and the futility that was now her future. Everything that she worked hard for over the years lay in tatters before her.
Whatever war she had been fighting left her feeling brutalized, her psyche was severely impacted and words like "casualty of war" echoed excruciatingly in her mind.
She forced herself to snap out of it. There was only so much room for a pity party and it made her nauseous.
She was Blair Waldorf, she survived her father leaving her mother for another man; she survived Nate sleeping with Serena; she survived Serena disappearing for almost a year; she survived last year's pregnancy scare and also survived Chuck going AWOL.
She certainly could survive this and was determined to. Somehow she was going to put her life back together and, like the movies, she was going to get her happy ending. She deserved Yale.
Over in Brooklyn, Dan Humphrey sat in the living area of the loft after he put Vanessa to bed in Jenny's room. He was still reeling from the effects of Yale refusing him financial aid and the knowledge that his parents had insufficient funds for his college tuition.
Blair Waldorf must be laughing on his grave shouting "Financial Aidiot," he mused.
He didn't understand it and couldn't reconcile himself to his newly discovered reality. All his life, he worked hard to get to this point only for his dream to be unattainable.
What had been the point of constantly striving to be at the top of his class over the years? What had been the point of maintaining a 4.0 GPO? So that he could end up as a cater waiter to the likes of Eleanor Waldorf? Even if he worked all summer it still wouldn't pay for Yale.
Dan doubted that people like Chuck Bass, Nate Archibald, Serena Van Der Woodsen or Blair Waldorf were going through the same dilemma. A knock on the door broke him out of his reverie; he got up from where he sat and opened the door.
"Blair?"
"Humphrey," replied Blair coolly as she pushed Dan aside and walked into the loft.
"Come in Blair, why wait for an invitation?" muttered Dan in retort as he closed the door behind her.
"Do you always talk to yourself, Humphrey?"
Blair stood in front of him, legs astride, purse firmly encased between her left arm and her chest. She wore a wine colored coat which was trimmed with fur at the collar. Donned on her head was a matching hat that reminded Dan of a flapper girl.
Blair looked around the apartment -- poorly lit except for the lamp in the corner. Empty bottles of alcohol askew and littered on the coffee table, and strewn across the sofa was a feminine-looking jacket. Despite the apartment's present occupancy, something about it reeked of desolation.
"Entertaining Humphrey? Who's pathetic enough to go out with you?" said Blair with an arched eyebrow.
"Vanessa's here," he replied. Blair gave him a look that he couldn't decipher and he involuntarily added to placate her, "She's asleep in Jenny's bedroom; she had too much to drink."
Blair scoffed at his comment and then fixed her eyes firmly on him. Dan shifted uncomfortably, but looked her square in the eyes. He placed his hands in his pockets and asked, "Why are you here, Blair? Brooklyn isn't exactly next door to the Upper East Side."
"You owe me and I'm here to collect."
"Excuse me?"
Blair advanced towards Dan menacingly; she was dangerously close to him and poked him in the chest with every word that followed.
"The only reason I am not going to Yale is because you couldn't keep your mouth and flies closed," she said in a hissing manner.
"What?" stuttered Dan
"If you had not been jabbering about my personal business during your pillow talk with Miss Carr, I wouldn't be in this predicament," she said more sinisterly and held fast to the lapels on Dan's shirt.
"The only reason you are in this mess is because you created the mess. You hazed a teacher!"
"And the rumor turned out to be true. So what is your point exactly, Humphrey? You're going to help me get into Yale!"
Dan was livid. How dare this spoilt little madam storm into his house uninvited, accuse him of being responsible for her mess and then demanded that he fix it. He was sick and tired of rich kids, who scoffed at and misused opportunities made available to them. While those people who were more deserving did without.
He pushed Blair's hands away, stepped around her and walked towards the door.
"I don't owe you anything! Your know what your problem is Blair? You are a spoilt little tyrant who has to get her own way. This time your plot backfired and it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person! Yale is not the only college; I'm sure the Waldorf name and money can get you into another Ivy that could use a generous donation. Do a Rory Gilmore; get mommy and daddy to donate an astronomy tower in your honor. Goodbye Blair," finished an enraged Dan as he opened the door.
Blair stalked towards Dan, standing menacingly in front of him. "This conversation isn't over until I say it's over, cabbage patch!"
"Why? Because Blair Waldorf is the boss of everyone and controls what happens in my house?"
"You think you know everything, you don't!" Blair's voice rose and was dangerously close to choking. "No college will touch me now, thanks to you and your precious Miss Carr. I had to beg Sarah Lawrence -- which isn't even Ivy League -- they refused to offer me admission!"
Dan willed himself not too feel sorry for her but he found his resolve breaking; he was a sucker for a sob story. He was shocked to hear that no other colleges would have her; it was a scary situation to find one's self in. His problems seemed minute compared to Blair's. At least he had options - just not enough money to go with the option he'd prefer.
Blair saw the pity in his eyes. She didn't need pity from the likes of Dan Humphrey and could do without it. Where was his pity when his precious pedophile of a teacher made her lose Yale?
She strengthened her resolve and snarled, "You are going to fix this, Humphrey."
"Don't be ridiculous, Blair! How exactly am I supposed to fix this? In case you haven't heard, my father can't pay my school tuition. Even if I gave up my place at Yale, there is no guarantee that they'd offer it to you!"
"This is where we differ - I'm intelligent and you're not. The only reason Serena got into Yale was because she was always in the papers, and Yale needed the publicity. That's exactly what I need to do."
"Getting into the papers shouldn't be too hard, Blair. You're a Waldorf. I don't see or understand what you need me for."
"Waldorfs are not socialites," she retorted in a matter of fact tone and tossed her nose in the air.
"I want all colleges to want me, Yale especially. I want them to beg for me. That's where you come in, cabbage patch." There was a dangerous gleam radiating from her eyes that Dan could not fathom.
"It's my belief that our story is what sets us apart from the masses. The more interesting and mysterious your story is the more people want to know about you. They want to associate themselves with you because they think that by association they can be you, or catch some of your radiance. And you, my dear pathetic excuse for a writer are going to write a series of amazing articles about me that will show Yale what they're missing. This will force them to make me an offer. We both win: I get Yale and the other Ivies bowing in subservience to me as it should be, and you get a portfolio and a decent amount of publicity that could lead to scholarships and job offers."
"And now that Charlie Trout is no longer available, you need a more worthy subject matter: me."
Dan was surprised; the idea wasn't half bad or half as evil as her usual plotting. It was a win-win situation - however a niggling thought prompted him to ask, "Blair, I'm not sure the New Yorker will even go for this. I don't exactly have pull there. However, I will speak to my contact, and find out if this is an angle they might be interested in pursuing."
"Leave the newspaper contacts to me, Humphrey. Your job is to write fascinating pieces about me. And that shouldn't be too hard…" Blair smirked as she walked out the door. "I'm Blair Waldorf."