Hi! So this is my first Fanfic and to be honest im quite proud of it! (There's nothing like modesty, eh? =p) but it's kinda sad so, sorry about that, anyway I'll let you read now but thanks for deciding to read my fic!

Disclaimer: I do not own Spring Awakening, if I did Hanschen would have to wear a 'Make Awkward Sexual Advances Not War' T-shirt...XD

Remember the Word Forget

Chapter One: Look Into His Eyes…

'Hanschen!'

I grope blindly, into the darkness until I make contact with skin. He grasps my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine, his other hand resting against my upper arm; they feel cool against my clammy skin.

'Im here Ernst – right here – I'll always be here'

He rubs a hand rhythmically along my back, calming me, steadying my rugged breaths. I lean into his shoulder, holding back the tears, and hiding my embarrassment. I awake like this almost every night. In a frenzied panic, screaming his name and grasping frantically for my lover. And true to his word; he is always there. With the help of his soft caresses and soothing words I will slip back into a peaceful slumber.

Eventually.

'I'm sorry' I whimper into his shoulder.

'It's okay' he reassures me whilst toying with a wisp of my hair.

He rests his head against the top of mine and I lean further into him. He wraps both arms around me. I relish at the new sensation. Hanschen only hugs me on occasion. He doesn't like routine, every time with him is like the first time, always different, and every time more pleasurable. Sometimes his kisses are soft, some times fervent but one thing, much to my delight, never changes; he always tastes the same, ever so sweet, and although he's not always gentle, I melt to his touch.

Every time.

He pulls away slightly and tilts my head up. As he moves closer to kiss me, I wait in eager anticipation, how will approach the kiss this time? His lips press softly against mine, my lips tingle and it swells throughout my whole body. He's kissing me slowly, tentatively, we haven't kissed like this in a long time, which is a shame because I like kissing like this, and it makes me feel wanted. Not that when he's kissing me passionately I don't feel wanted, but it's in a completely different way. He breaks away from this kiss and cradles me back into his shoulder.

'I love you, Hanschen' my lips reverberate gently against his skin.

He heaves a sigh, rustling my hair.

'I know' he whispers into my ear 'I know'

That doesn't get any less painful. After all this time it still hurts that he can't reply properly. Its not that he doesn't love me, as conceited as this sounds, I know he does. He's almost said it so many times lately, that's the only time he ever falters with his speech. He will start to say it, but then his eyes will dart quickly to the ground, and he'll find a way of re-wording his sentence.

'Perhaps we could try to get back to sleep now, Ernst?'

I nod, as he lays us back down, my head resting against his chest.

He kisses my forehead tenderly, wrapping the bed sheets tightly around us. As if I'm not hot enough, Hanschen's like a stove. I can feel my eyelids becoming heavy as I listen to the serene thrumming of his heartbeat.

'Ernst?'

'Yes Hanschen?'

Silence blankets the rooms, covering every inch of it, and engulfing Hanschen and I in its wake.

'Nothing, It can wait till morning, go to sleep Ernst.'

So did you like it? Hate It? Wonder why Hanschen is so deliriously OOC? Please do tell me…in a REVIEW! If you would like me to continue this there will be a about 3 more chapters. And the chapter title (and story title) is some lyrics from Role of a Lifetime from the wonderful Bare. Thankyou for reading…=)