TWO

I toss and turn in my bed sweating, thinking about Sirius, about Draco, about anything, everything...I need somebody to talk to. Luna is all the way in Ravenclaw, Draco is in Slytherin, Harry is in the boys wing, and Ginny and Hermione are sleeping soundly, resting up for school tomorrow, the first day of our fifth year, a great year...

I get out of my bed and walk down to the common.

"Harry...?" I ask sitting in a chair across from him.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asks me looking away from the fire and at my face.

"No, nervous about my fifth year, nervous about what will happen to Draco and I, nervous about you...always thinking about Sirius..."

"Lil, about Draco, you and him aren't good together. He's dangerous...don't let him get to you, be careful, I don't think that you should see him."

I don't want to disappoint Harry because we both just lost Sirius and Harry only knew him for a very small time. And now Sirius is gone and I don't know how to communicate with Harry like I used to with Sirius around. After Sirius escaped from Azkaban, he made sure that Harry and I bonded and became comfortable around each other.

But everything changed after Sirius died. I remember what happened clearly.

Bellatrix killed Sirius and I ran to go after her. Harry held me back as I kicked and screamed and cried. Harry then let me go and I ran after Bellatrix, I didn't catch her though. But someday I will. I will take her by her hair and drag her screaming and kicking, I want her to beg me for her life. I want her to look into my face and see my father- Sirius and I look almost exactly alike, same eyes, same curly, wild, black hair, I have my mothers nose though- that she killed without a heart.

She killed her own cousin. Bellatrix Lestrange will pay for what she did to me and Harry with her life. And I will enjoy every minute of it.

"Okay, Harry, okay." I say finally.

"What?" Harry says unbelievably.

"I said okay. I know what you're going through, losing Sirius so quickly by that-"

"I mean what about you and Draco? you're just going to let him go?"

I breath in and hope that my lying to him isn't so bad that he doesn't believe me. "I'll, I'll find a way to let him go..."

I get up and start to walk towards the girls dormitory where I'll try to fall asleep for tomorrow's big day.

"Lil," Harry says to me as he heads to the boys dormitory. "Be careful, he may not be stable."

"Thanks, Harry." I say turning away from him. I eel ashamed, I should've never lied to him, now he thinks that Draco and I are over and her doesn't need to protect me.

I feel like Bellatrix Lestrange- betraying my own family.