This is the first time that I write directly in English. I needed to write and English words were easier to me.
Disclaimer: The Stargate universe is not mine. I don't get any money to write this story.
Genre: Drama, Romance
Rating: M
It was not Love.
Samantha Carter was not focus on the briefing on this Monday morning. Daniel explained why it would be important to visit RH6-851, but she did not listen to him. She had too many thoughts after her weekend. After her Sunday. After this night. She did not pronounce a word since she was arrived at the base, except a 'good morning' to her teammates and her salute to General O'Neill.
She knew she had to focus on the briefing, on the mission, on whatever which permitted her to not thinking about what happened. She even did not know what to think about that. It was not normal, she knew that, but she did not know how she was supposed to act now. Maybe these things happened and she just had to accept that. Maybe she just thought too much.
"Sam?"
She raised her head and looked at Daniel who watched her with a questioning gaze.
"Are you okay?" Daniel asked.
"I... Yes. Why?"
She did not know why they were all looking at her right now like she was sick or something like that.
"No 'woohoo' Carter?" Jack asked her, stunned by her behaviour.
"Er... Why should I say 'woohoo' sir?"
"Cause I was just saying there is a lot of naqahdah on this planet, according to my translation."
"Oh. That's great." Sam said.
She tried to think what she could do with a lot of naqahdah, but she can only think of that hand, of these fingers, of this night. She bit her bottom lip.
"We're losing you again Sam." Daniel said.
"Sorry."
"Something happened during your weekend?" Daniel asked.
"I was with Pete." Sam replied slowly.
"Did you have an argument or something?" Daniel asked her, a little concerned by her behaviour.
"No. Sorry I was just a little lost in my thoughts, it will not happen again." Sam said, shaking her head.
"I think Sam is in love Daniel, and you know, love stuff. Just try to focus on your work Carter, we need your brain hundred per cent here." Jack said with a smile, but his heart was hurt.
"It was not love." Sam whispered as her teammates and Jack were taking their papers on the table.
They all stopped and looked at her as she lowered her head, hands on her thighs.
"What?" Jack asked, looking at her with an intense gaze.
"It was not love." She said again.
"What do you mean?" Jack asked her.
"I said no." Sam whispered, her gaze seeming lost.
Jack tried to control his breath but he felt anger growing up in his body.
"You said no to what?" Jack asked dryly.
Sam bit her bottom lip harder and her chin began to shake.
"Daniel can you please tell Walter to cancel the next briefing with SG-4?" Jack said to Daniel without looking at him.
He stared at Sam and made a step towards her. He sat next to her and put his hand on her sidearm. She violently pushed it away and Jack raised his hands.
"Okay Carter. That's okay." He said softly.
Her eyes were full of tears and Jack tried to be as calm as possible.
"Did he hurt you?" He asked as Daniel came back in the briefing room.
"No."
"It doesn't look like that Carter."
"I just... I said no. I didn't know what to do."
"Do you want to tell us what happened?" Jack asked.
"I don't know..." Sam replied in a breath.
"Do you prefer to talk with another person? Janet maybe?" Jack said as softer as he can.
Sam shacked her head, she did not know what to say now. She was not certain of her feelings concerning what happened on this night, she was still dealing with her thoughts to know if it was normal or not. If it had to happen or not.
"Do you want to talk in private with Jack?" Daniel asked, not sure she wanted to talk with all of them.
Sam did not know what to answer. She felt like a lost baby girl in this big room, sat in front of this huge table.
As she remained silent Jack nodded to Daniel and Teal'c then they left the briefing room.
"Do you want to talk in my office?" Jack softly asked.
"I'm not sure of what I want sir."
"I think you need to talk about what happened this weekend."
"I'm not sure of what happened yesterday night sir."
"You said no. You didn't want to do something?" Jack asked her.
"I was tired, I wanted to rest a little after our Friday's mission."
"He didn't want you to rest?"
"He wanted to..."
Sam stopped talking, not certain to want to talk about this with him.
"Sam, tell me. I'm not judging you here." Jack said with a soft tone.
She raised her head at him and plunged her gaze in his chocolate eyes.
"He wanted to... you know. To touch me. To kiss me. You know... that kind of stuff." She said as she was blushing.
"Did you say no at this moment?"
"Yes. I told him I was tired. That was on the morning."
"What happened next?"
"He didn't stop. All day. And... I don't know I just... I wanted him to stop that." Sam replied as her voice was breaking.
"Did you say no every time?"
"Yes but... He really wanted to... to..." Sam stammered.
"To have sex with you?" Jack finally said.
"Yeah."
Sam lowered her head.
"I just wanted him to stop that." She said.
"Why didn't you hit him to make him understand you didn't want that?"
"I don't know. He is... kind. And... maybe I was attractive with my dress. Maybe he just wanted to show me how much he loves me."
"Don't blame yourself about how attractive you were in your dress. If you said no, he didn't have to continue touching you. That's all."
Sam's chin started to shake again.
"Hey... It's okay. Do you want to take a break? You don't have to tell me everything right now."
Sam bit her bottom lip again and nodded.
"Do you want a tea or something?" Jack asked her.
"Yes. Thank you sir."
Jack went to his office and told Walter to bring him a tea. After 3 minutes Walter arrived and gave the tea to Jack who came back in the briefing room. He sat near Sam again, putting her tea in front of her on the table.
"Thank you sir."
"For what?"
"To listen to me."
"Always."
Sam took a sip of her tea, watching the smoke of the drink.
"Do you want to continue?" Jack asked.
Sam nodded softly as she took another sip of tea.
"That happened during the day. What happened on the evening?" Jack asked.
"I took a shower. When I came back in my bedroom he was there and..." Sam made a stop.
"And?"
"He resumed to touch me."
"What did you do?"
"I said no. Again."
"What did he do?"
"He didn't stop. He told me he wanted me, again."
Jack took a deep breath to calm down his heartbeats. He clenched his teeth.
"So I... I surrendered."
"What do you mean you surrendered?"
"I... I wanted him to stop. I just... let him do what he had to do with me."
Jack sighed slowly.
"I just waited that he finished his stuff."
"You didn't want to have sex with him."
"No."
"And you told him you did not want to several times."
"Yes."
"But he didn't stop and you finally let him do what he wanted to do with your body, like your opinion wasn't important."
"Sort of."
"So he harassed you all day. Sexually speaking."
"Maybe 'harassment' is a little stronger sir."
"To touch someone who didn't want to, it's sexual harassment, even sexual abuse."
"I... I don't know sir. He's my fiancé I have to–"
"You don't have to do anything. You don't have to do something you didn't want to Sam. When he had sex with you yesterday, you didn't want to, did you?"
"No."
"And he knew that."
"I think so."
"So you are right. It was not love. This thing has a name Sam."
"Oh no sir I'm not certain that–"
"It was a rape Sam." Jack said, dryly.
Sam felt her throat tightened and a tear began to roll down her cheek.
"Don't use this word sir." Sam said.
"Why?"
"He's my fiancé."
"And?"
"Have sex with him is normal."
"Having sex with him when you want to is normal. If you say no, even if he's your fiancé, it's a rape. You have to understand that Sam. He had no right to force you."
"He didn't force me. I let him do what he had to do with me in order to stop him touching me."
"Okay, he didn't force you, you let him do that. He touched you all day, without your consent. Is that right?"
"Yes."
"So, and sorry but I will be rude, you didn't want him to touch you because you were tired, you told him 'no' several times, and in order to stop him touching you, you let him penetrate your vagina while you didn't want to do that and you told him you didn't want to."
"I..."
"Am I right?"
"Yes." Sam replied with a broken voice.
"Sam, it was a rape. I'm sorry to say that, but it was a rape. No one has the right to force you, to touch you when you don't want to or not listen to you when you say 'no'."
"I just wanted him to stop." Sam said as a sob broke her voice.
"I know, Sam. I know."
They remained silent a few minutes then Jack resumed to talk to her:
"Do you want to come back home today? Maybe you should get some rest."
"No!" Sam said, fear in her eyes.
"Are you afraid to come back to your own house Sam?"
Sam didn't reply, ashamed of her behaviour. She bit her lip again.
"I can come with you." Jack said.
"No sir, you don't have to do this..."
"I want to do this." Jack said with a soft tone.
"Okay."
"Take your time, I'll drive you home in half an hour."
"Thank you sir."
"Don't thank me Sam."
They left the briefing room and Jack told Walter he took his day. Reynolds was informed he took the commandment of the base and Jack headed to Daniel's office. Teal'c and Daniel were here, waiting for news about Sam.
"What happened Jack? Did he hurt her or something?" Daniel asked.
"He will leave her house. That's all."
"Why?" Teal'c asked. "Do I have to crush this man O'Neill?"
"He will leave her house or I will kill him." Jack reply dryly. "I go with Carter to her house, she needs to get some rest."
"Why do you have to accompany her?" Daniel asked.
"Because she's afraid to come back home alone." Jack replied while he was sighing.
Jack began to leave the office when Daniel told him:
"Jack! I don't like violence but I think you should kick this bastard's ass."
"Understood Daniel."
Jack went to Sam's lab and asked her if she was ready. They reached the surface and got into Jack's pickup. When they arrived at Sam's house, the woman was shaking and Jack tried to reassure her. Pete opened the door with a big smile when he saw Sam, but he left it when he saw Jack.
"No work?" Pete asked.
"Not exactly Shanahan." Jack said as they entered in the house. "Carter, go to bed to get some rest, I will do the rest."
As Sam did not move Jack looked at her. She was looking at the stairs and she seemed to be unable to go to her bedroom.
"Sam?" Jack said as he moved towards her. "Okay, take a sit on the couch."
She nodded and Pete watched her, not understanding what happened.
"Shanahan please take your stuffs and leave this house." Jack said dryly.
"I beg your pardon?" Pete asked.
"Okay. I will repeat this only one more time. The next one I will punch you in the face. Take your stuffs and get out of this house."
"No. What's your problem O'Neill?" Pete replied.
Jack hit him on his face with a powerful fist. Pete was totally shake up.
"You have to learn to listen to people when they say something to you Shanahan. Get out."
Pete took his jacket and left Sam's house. Jack walked towards Sam who was sitting on the couch. She was shaking and when Jack sat near her she wiped several tears.
"It will be okay Sam." Jack said softly.
She nodded but the tears continued to run on her cheek.
"Lie down here."
She listened to him and laid down on the couch as he put a plaid on her. He stood up and walked towards the door when Sam called him.
"Sir!"
He turned his head towards her and looked at her.
"Don't leave me here alone... Please." She begged him.
He came back near her, sat on the couch and looked at her.
"Try to sleep Sam." Jack said.
She settled near him, putting her head on his thigh.
"Are you okay?" Jack asked, not sure what to do with his arm.
"Yeah." She replied, holding his hand in hers so he had his arms on her. He stroked her backhand slowly and watched her close her blue eyes.
"Thank you." She said.
"Get some sleep Sam, I'll be there when you'll wake up."
"Always?"
"Always."
THE END