Slept So Long
By: PhoenixJustice
Disclaimer: The wrestlers own themselves. Their gimmicks belong to the respective companies whom created them. I merely own this story.
Warning: Rated M for graphic sexual content, bloodplay, slash, language, etc.
Pairing: Kevin Steen/Sami Zayn.
Setting: Post-Final Battle 2010.
Summary: He starts to tremble at the thought, of touching the side of Sami's head, mask torn and skewed from Kevin's assault, of touching Sami's blood, anointing himself in the blood of his most...most beloved-
Italics for flashbacks.
A/N: Title taken by the song of the same name by Jay Gordon of Orgy.
Part Seven of The Kevin-Sami Playlist.
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"Kevin, if you'd just-"
"Fuck off, I said!"
He slams the hotel phone down on the receiver. He didn't want to hear from Corino right now. He didn't want to hear from anyone right now.
He had lost.
He lost.
He still feels like he's in the ring, sobbing, unable to stop himself, from the sheer magnitude of everything.
He lost.
Lost everything. Lost the match, lost the match, lost the right to be in Ring of Honor lost Sami. Everything he had worked for, fought for, sweat for, cried for, bled for-
The blood...
He looks up at his outstretched arm, covered-as so much of him was-in blood. His blood. He swallows. Sami's blood. He starts to tremble at the thought, of touching the side of Sami's head, mask torn and skewed from Kevin's assault, of touching Sami's blood, anointing himself in the blood of his most...most beloved-
He groans, putting his hands to his face. It's then that he catches the scent of the blood on him and he licks his hand without really thinking about it, groaning again at the taste of the copper along his tongue, feeling a sharp, almost desperate, thrill along his spine at it.
It reminded him of Sami. When he cradled his battered head in his hands, tilting his head and tasted the blood on their lips, his own, Sami's...mingled together until it was...and they were.
He shifts slightly on the bed, moaning at the thought. He hisses as he moves his hand down his front, cupping himself. He was already harder than he'd been in ages. When had the last time been? Maybe when Sami had hit him so surprisingly hard he had saw stars, tasted the tang of blood in his mouth. It had only taken moments, back in his hotel room then, to come; the mere thought of it had gotten him off for weeks.
And now he had this. His eyes wrench closed as he continues to lick his hand, using the other to rub the front of his gear, biting on his lip as he replays moments over and over again. It was that punch or that kick or that moonsault to him or the-
But that was, of course, all lies.
He looks into Sami's eyes, hands on either side of his face. And in that moment, all time stops for Kevin. The roar of the crowd no longer exists. They are mere blurs, insignificant to this moment. The ring is a mere backdrop. Time no longer exists, place no longer exists. All that exists, in this moment is him and Sami. His bloody and battered hands on Sami's bloody and battered face.
Equal.
In this time, Kevin has not hurt Sami. He has not betrayed him. It is Kevin and Sami once more. He can see the Sami who cares for him, in Sami's eyes, then. The Sami whose entire being is filled with light, is Light Personified. This is not a Sami yet tainted by Kevin's Darkness. He is whole and he is beautiful.
And there is nothing more than Kevin loves than in that moment. He kisses Sami and it isn't until the taste of the copper from their mingled blood hits his mouth, his senses, that the moment is broken. Sami is Tainted once more, his Sami corrupted and Kevin is yet again The Monster.
My fault.
Sami's lips, Sami's tongue, Sami's blood. His taste is invading Kevin's senses and he can't stop it has never been able to stop it.
He rubs his hand faster, all but rutting himself against his own hand, feeling his cock twitch and strain against the material, wetting the front of himself with pre come. It was quickly not becoming enough. He starts to pull down the clothing, sticky with sweat and blood and tears. He hisses when his hand touches his hard cock, feeling so goddamn tantalized with the sight of his hand, dried with blood, stroking his dick. Their blood. Sami's blood. Sami on him, with him now.
He's so engrossed in the moment that he almost doesn't hear the door open and footsteps approach. Goddamnit, had Corino gotten a key from the front desk again? Wasn't the first time this happened. Sometimes he didn't understand Kevin just wanted to be left alone. Wasn't the first time he ever caught Kevin in a clench either, so Kevin didn't stop what he was doing (he was too far gone to even stop, anyhow.)
He's panting now, moving his hand faster and harder, feeling the pleasure start to build and build.
"S..." The name is on the edge of his lips, threatening to spill from his mouth. "S-Sami." The footsteps stop. It all builds up in a chant in his mouth. "SamiSamiSamiSamiSamiSami-ahh!"
His eyes fly open when he feels a warm hand move over his and stares directly into the shocked face of Sami Zayn. His body jerks immediately and he comes, crying out as he looks into his eyes.
Sami.
The pleasure is enough to make him nearly black out from it; it's only the horror of the fact that he came on Sami that keeps him from doing so. He's horrified and aroused beyond all reason to see his spunk slide down Sami's face, some sliding down his bare (bruised and bloodied) chest. Sami stands there, face bare of the mask, shining like the light that always, always, blinded Kevin, covered in bruises caused by Kevin's fingers, blood spilled by Kevin's hands and damn if he didn't feel his goddamn cock stirring again, despite the horror he felt.
"Sami," He stammers. "I-"
And then he stops. This couldn't be real, right? It couldn't be. There was no goddamn way that Sami would see him at all, much less after That Match. If it was someone else, he could believe it, but Sami wasn't a gloater, not when it came to something like that. So, no. But it was...it was him.
Then this had to be a dream, right? There was no other explanation for this. Because he could never think about the fact that Sami could ever want to be around him ever again. He must have fallen asleep as soon as he hit the bed (because he could remember getting into the hotel room. He must just have fallen asleep soon after that.)
It was a dream; it had to be because dreams showed your true wants and desires. And what had he ever wanted in life more than Sami Zayn? Nothing. There had never, and would, never be anything he'd ever want more. It was why he had ran away from him to begin with; he was too bright to ever be around Kevin. He couldn't handle that purity. He had always longed to taint it.
That thought-that this wasn't real-makes his shoulders relax and puts a smile on his face. He sees Sami take an intake of breath, looking at him with wide eyes. He moves to kneel on the bed, kneeling in front of Sami. He takes his hands and grabs Sami's face-ignoring him stiffening at the touch-and licks his face, groaning as the taste of blood and his own spunk hits him.
"Kevin." Sami's hands are trembling as much as his voice is.
He smiles at him again, feeling open and free for the first time in...he can't even recall when.
"Sami." He continues to lick Sami's face clean, pulling him closer so he can reach his chest easier, his mouth moving down to lick the remnants of his come off of Sami's skin, his wet tongue making a trail over and through their mingled blood.
"Kevin," Sami stammers. "You don't...you don't..." He looks up from his position at Sami's chest to look at the other wrestlers face, his face red, his eyes filled with something like wonder. "You don't want this."
It wasn't a statement, but a question that wasn't asked. Was Sami here supposed to represent any doubt he had? Because that was foolish. Here, now? Here where he could be open without fear of repercussion or fear of rejection? This was the world that he had always wanted. The one he could admit to, even if only to himself. No...admitting it even to himself was more than he had ever been able to do now. But now? Now...
"It's all that I've ever wanted." He says hoarsely, eyes closing, not seeing the look of shock and wonder on Sami's face. "Ever since the beginning. That...that first time. When I snuck into that tiny as hell wrestling company and I saw it. I saw you and I..."
He opens his eyes and lets out a noise when Sami's mouth is instantly over his, kissing him with a palpable desperation. His hands scramble to clutch at Sami; his chest, his shoulders, slipping over the blood and the sweat to grasp at the back of his neck, kissing him back eagerly.
"Kevin, please. Please," Sami says desperately. "I want this. I need...I need..."
"I need you, Sami." He says against Sami's mouth, shivering with the sobbing breath that Sami lets out. He pulls back, murmuring his words over Sami's neck, his shoulder, his chest. "God, it's...all I've ever wanted. When I saw you take flight in that moonsault from the ropes, I was changed. All I wanted after that was to wrestle there, to wrestle you. I wanted you. And when I met you for the first time, without that mask? When I got to see your face? I wanted you more."
Sami's hands are like vices on his tattered and bloodied shirt, forcing him to look at his face, his eyes burning bright with emotion, taking Kevin's breath away.
"Then why didn't you ever tell me?" Sami demands.
Kevin laughs. Not to mock Sami or in anger or jest or anything of that sort, but disbelief.
"How could I? You're light. You're such a good person and all I do-all I can ever do-is Taint everything I touch. I never wanted to Taint you, to...hurt you. But I don't know how to not."
"I'm not light, Kevin. I'm not...anything. Just a man. Just..." Sami looks away, brows furrowed.
"You're everything," Kevin hisses, before his voice softens a bit. "You're the Sun, Sami. You're my Sun." He looks away, embarassed, despite the situation. His voice starts to shake with emotion. "And all I can ever think is that I want to be burned by you, by your touch, because maybe then I can just stop. Maybe I'll be cleansed. Maybe I'll finally be worthy to touch you then."
It's quiet for a long, long time. No sounds other than their breaths, the almost silent whirring of the air conditioner in the corner of the room. He doesn't know what to say next, or do. It was almost cathartic to get out how he felt...almost. If it had been real then maybe...
"I love you, Kevin."
His eyes pop open and he looks at Sami now, a lump in his throat. Sami stood there, battered as he, bloody and-and...
Real.
He recoils back.
It was real. He was real. He had to be. It didn't matter the fantasy; he had never been able to picture Sami saying those words to him-couldn't hear them-despite how desperately he wanted them (more than anything.)
Sami looks at him, stricken, reaching out for him.
"You're real." Kevin wails.
Sami looks at him in confusion. "Of course I'm...did you think this was some sort of trick?"
He shakes his head rapidly. "This is..." He swallows hard. "You're here." He stares at Sami in shock. "Sami. How are you here?"
"Kevin, I-"
"How are you here?!" He screams, making Sami flinch back. "I hurt you!"
"Yes."
"I made you bleed!"
"Yes."
"I made you suffer!"
"Yes!"
"I made you-"
"You also made me happy!" Sami yells back, eyes flashing with emotion once more. "Before that chair...before everything. You made me happy. I love you, Kevin."
He flinches again, rubbing at his eyes. "Stop it. Stop saying it."
"What? You can tell me your deepest feelings when you think it fake, but now you can't handle it? Can't handle me? I lo-"
"Stop it!" He yells. He moves his hands, looking at Sami in despair. "Please."
"I love you, Kevin."
"Stop...stop-"
He jumps as Sami's blood stained hands touch his face, holding it like it, like he, was something precious.
"I love you." Sami looks at him with a helpless look now. "I think I always have."
"Please," Sami continues, as he tries to pull away from him. "Just listen to me for once! Don't turn away from me. Don't run away; all you ever do is run away from me. That's...that's what all of this has been about, right?"
"Sami-"
"What do you think of me, Kevin?" Sami seemed to be on a roll now and not willing, or able to, stop. "Tell me. Look at me. Look at me. Tell me what I mean to you."
He touches Sami's hands, putting his own over them.
"Kevin," Sami's voice is gentler now, softer. "I won't make fun of you or laugh at you. I promise. That's the last thing I will ever do. Believe me?"
"I want to." He says hoarsely.
"Then do." Sami says, smiling gently. "You remember your final show at IWS? What we thought would be your final show, anyway? You cried. Rougeau's Golden Boy. You could have had everything so early, but you cried because the fans at our tiny little wrestling company loved you and didn't want to see you go. And I remember thinking...he's beautiful. He's crying and he's beautiful. Even if I didn't know I loved you in words just then, it didn't stop me from being in love with you then. You-"
"I love you." The words tumble out quickly, almost against his will, but the fear he initially feels is quickly washed away by the look that comes over Sami's face. His eyes light up, he lights up and instantly Kevin is awash in emotions he can scarcely name, much less feel. "I love you." He laughs, the kind of laughter that quickly turns into tears, his hands moving from Sami's to rub at his face. "I love you so much, Sami. I-"
He's startled once more as Sami starts to kiss him; his lips, his cheeks, his tongue swiping over his face to wipe away at his tears and he certainly must be tasting the blood and the sweat as well as the tears.
"If you're the Dark and I-if I'm Light, then we're meant for each other, aren't we?" Sami asks. "Balance. We balance each other out. You give me what I need and I give you what you need."
He had never thought about it that way. He looks down at his hands, watches them tremble as much as he, as he boldly cups Sami's face, stroking a thumb over Sami's bloody and bruised face.
He had to say it. He had to. Sami had to know.
"I'm sor-"
"Don't." Sami says immediately. "Just...don't, okay? I don't want your apologies." It wasn't said in an angry or sad way, just matter of fact. "There's only one thing I want from you Kevin. It's all I've ever wanted from you."
Sami puts his forehead against Kevin's and Kevin feels something in him, for the first time in years, perhaps for the first time ever, relax.
"Be with me."
He lets out a breath.
"Yes."
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A/N: You guys ever want to chat with me about fandom or wrestling or both or w/e, you can find me on twitter phoenixjustice and on tumblr at phoenixjustice . tumblr . com. Feel free to hit me up to chat! I live to talk about fandom, pairings, wrestling and lots of other things! :3
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-PhoenixJustice